The Keeping Score Box Set

by Tawdra Kandle

  I quirked an eyebrow. “I’ll risk the wrath of Quinn and admit I was a little surprised you decided to work down here this year. I figured you’d want the time with Leo. I know how hard it was for you to be apart.”

  She grimaced. “It was my mom’s idea, that we live here this summer. She met the woman who runs the local paper, told her about my interest in journalism, and one thing led to another . . . when she offered me the internship, it sounded like a good idea.”

  “And you thought Leo would what, just hang out here while you worked? Spend some quality time with your mom?”

  “I don’t know.” Quinn slumped. “I guess I figured he’d get something down here, too. A job, you know. But he said that since he has to be back down at school at the end of July, no place would hire him.”

  “He’s probably right.”

  “Yeah, I know. But thanks for making me feel better about it.” She stuck out her tongue at me. “I think I’m mostly mad at myself and the situation, but Leo acts like I did this on purpose. Without checking with him before I made the decision.”

  “Did you?”

  She glared at me. “Whose side are you on, anyway?”

  I lifted both hands in front of me. “No one’s. I’m just pointing out what seems obvious.”

  “Again, thanks.”

  I tried another tact. “What’re you going to do then? How’re you going to make it work?”

  Quinn couldn’t have looked more miserable if she’d tried. “I have no freaking idea. When we hung up last night, Leo was still really mad. And he hasn’t texted me at all today.”

  I glanced at the sky, where the sun hadn’t reached the noon-time peak. “It’s still early. He’s probably asleep.”

  “He was moving out of the dorms today, so I’m pretty sure he’s up.” She blew out a long breath. “I guess I should text him and apologize. Maybe we can work something out. I could go down to Carolina for a weekend, or he could come up here for a little while.”

  “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” I paused a moment, thinking. “I’m not trying to insinuate anything, Quinn, but it’s still really weird to me that you took the position at the newspaper without even talking to Leo. It’s like you set this up to happen.”

  “Oh, is this wisdom from the person who aced his psych final? Are you analyzing me, Nate?” There was an edge in her teasing words that stung.

  “No. I’m just saying maybe there’s more going on than what it seems.”

  She stared at me for a few beats before she rolled her eyes. “Okay. Yes, I think you’re right. Does that make you feel better?”

  “Of course not. I don’t want to be right. I just want you to be happy.”

  For several minutes, the only sound was the crashing of the waves on the beach. Quinn rolled over in her lounge chair and propped her chin on her hands so that she could see me more fully.

  “I know Leo loves me. I don’t have any doubt about that at all. I know he’s not messing around on me. He’s not sleeping with other girls or even partying with them. He’s not Matt.” She made a face. “But I think there’s part of me that knows I don’t come first. He might think I do, and he might be able to convince himself that I’m his number one priority, but in the end, football tops me.”

  I rubbed my knee, which was beginning to ache. “I can understand why you might feel that way. I’m not saying Leo’s doing anything wrong, but it would be easy to think he’s choosing the team or the sport over you. But Quinn, I think he’s just doing it for you.”

  She huffed out another breath. “Oh, I know the line. He says he’s got to work hard now so he can get drafted into the conference and then we’ll be all set. He keeps telling me everything he does is for our future. I think he even believes it. But what kind of future can we have if we can’t get through the present together? I drove down to Carolina four times this year. Leo didn’t come up to see me even once, except when he was coming home for breaks anyway. I mean, Nate, he never even met Zelda. He didn’t come up to homecoming at Birch—but I went to his, at Carolina.”

  “Uh huh. So what’s the answer?”

  Quinn laid her cheek down on the lounge. “I guess I need to talk to Leo and tell him all this, huh? Is that what you’d tell me, Dr. Wellman?”

  I smirked. “Hey, I like the sound of that. You know, I’ve been leaning toward education, but maybe I should consider being a psychologist.”

  Quinn snorted. “Better work on your bedside manner first, bud. Not everyone’s going to know how to take you, like I do.”

  I regarded her, grinning. “That’s okay. Pretty sure there’s a class just for learning how not to piss off your patients.”

  “You better take it twice, then.” She rolled over, swung her legs around and dropped her feet on the deck. “All right. I’m going in to call Leo and eat some crow. Wish me luck.”

  I watched her go, her movements lithe and graceful as always, and wished for about the millionth time in my life that it was me who Quinn loved.

  Sophomore year

  October

  The Carolina sideline was relaxed. It wasn’t often that this was the case, but right now, we were up by three touchdowns with a little less than four minutes left in the game. And Arkansas had just punted after another three and out that had resulted in negative yardage for them.

  In other words, we were kicking some serious ass this afternoon.

  To put the icing on the cake, Coach was sending in Matt as QB on this play. The last year hadn’t been easy for my friend; he and the coaching staff clashed more often than not, and he chafed in the role of back-up quarterback. Thom Wilkens was still going strong, and if things continued as they were now, he’d hold onto his job up through graduation, leaving Matt only one year to lead the team, if he didn’t consider playing another position. For a guy who was hoping to parlay his college career into a top draft pick, this thought was discouraging. And Matt wasn’t shy about letting everyone know how he felt.

  But right now, we were going out there together, the old dream team from Eatonboro High united once again. Tate came up beside me, jamming on his helmet.

  “Ready to rock and roll, bro?”

  I punched his arm. “You know it. Let’s go in there and tie this package up in a sweet fucking bow.”

  As we passed him, Thom slapped our backs, yelling encouragement. We jogged onto the field, Matt glancing left and right. I’d been worried about him, but I could tell he was in the zone now, with the look in his eyes that said we were about to make magic happen.

  On the first down, Matt flipped the ball to Erickson, the running back. He gained us about three yards. But on the second down, thanks to some excellent blocking from my teammates, I managed to break free just as Matt sent a gorgeous spiral pass down the field. The ball fell into my arm like a dream, and I pivoted on the ball of my foot, darted to the left, to the right and spied a gap. I slid through the opening and into the end zone to the cheers of the crowd who’d stayed to the bitter end.

  Back on the sideline, the rest of the team greeted us with smacks and grunted praise. Thom stopped Matt, grinning.

  “Look at you, Lampert. You made that seem easy out there.”

  Matt didn’t answer for a minute, and I was afraid of what he might say. But finally he only nodded. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.” He started to move away, then added, “They’re pretty worn out. Their defense, I mean. That’s probably why it came so fast and easy.”

  Matt and I got back out onto the field once more before the final whistle was blown. We didn’t score again, but we did get a couple of first downs and held our own. And it didn’t matter, because we’d rolled over Arkansas.

  The locker room was loud and raucous. Everyone was flying high; we were sitting at 5-1, a winning record, and people were starting to sit up and take notice. Since I’d been playing pretty regularly, my name had become more recognized around the school. The campus media had done a piece on me that had been picked up by the local newspaper, and now
strangers greeted me like old friends. It was wild, on a much larger scale than it had been in high school.

  “Hitting Moonie’s tonight, bro?” Matt stripped off his pads and jersey. “Time to celebrate.”

  “Nope.” I was already naked and reaching for my towel, as though I could hear the ticking of a clock in my head. “I’m getting a shower, putting on my clothes and heading to the airport. Gonna surprise Quinn tonight.”

  He frowned. “Since when? Was this an idea that came to you while we were on the field tonight? You take a hit I didn’t see out there?”

  I slammed my locker. “No. I’ve been planning this for three weeks.”

  “First I’ve heard of it.”

  “Matt.” I sighed, running one hand through my hair. “Listen. I didn’t tell you on purpose, because you’ve had your head so far up your ass, I didn’t know what you’d do. And if you forgot and told Gia, and she told Quinn and ruined the surprise, I’d be really pissed at you. So look at this as me protecting you from my mad, okay?”

  “Dude, you are so pathetic.” Matt’s face darkened. “I’m not the one running off to his girlfriend instead of partying with his friends. And teammates. You want to be in this game long term, Taylor, you need to show up, and not just on the field. You got to play the capital G Game. The whole shebang. Don’t bitch to me about my head being up my ass. You got no idea. No idea.”

  “Matt.” I didn’t want to engage him. For the last couple of months, he’d been like a bomb, just waiting for the right detonation. I glanced around the locker room; a few teammates were obviously listening to us, curiosity on their faces. Lowering my voice, I laid a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down. You know what I’m talking about. You’re partying too much. The booze, the—the drugs, man. You’re taking stupid risks, and one of these days, you’re going get burned. You’re going to get caught in a drug test or worse. Not to mention what you’re doing with Gia.”

  A shadow passed over his eyes. “Gia and I are just . . . casual. You know. She understands the score. She’s a free agent, and so am I.”

  I snorted. “You’re an idiot, Matt. She’s gone for you, man, and you’re too blind to see it. Or maybe you don’t want to see it. Whatever.”

  “I can’t do relationship shit. You know that. I mean, look at you. All last year, you were torn up over being away from Quinn. Then you got your panties in a bunch and stayed down here moping all summer. Why the hell would I want something like that? No way, man. I like my freedom. I don’t want a chick making me feel bad for doing what I need to do.”

  I wrapped my towel around my waist. “I never claimed Quinn and I are perfect. I’m not even saying you need a girlfriend. I’m just telling you that what you think you have with Gia isn’t what she thinks you have. She might say she’s fine with how you treat her, but she isn’t. It’s eating her alive.”

  “Bullshit.” Matt closed his locker and pounded it with his fist.

  “Yeah, well, I don’t have time to argue with you about this anymore. I’ll see you Tuesday.” I turned and headed for the showers.

  “Tuesday? You’re missing class and practice?”

  I tossed words over my shoulder as I walked away. “Coach and my professors approved it. I’m ahead in my classes, and I’ll do extra workouts when I get back. I need to see my girl.”

  My flight to Philadelphia landed a little early, which I took to be a good sign. I slung my duffel over my back, hailed a cab and headed over the bridge to South Jersey. I’d considered asking one of my brothers to pick me up from the airport, but in the end, I’d only told two people outside of Coach and three professors what I was doing. If my mom found out I was coming home without actually visiting home, she’d have had a fit. But I wanted this trip to be all about Quinn, all about us.

  The taxi dropped me off at a tall brick building on the Birch campus. I paid the driver and stepped out, glancing around through the dusky evening and trying to be inconspicuous. Leaning against the low wall that surrounded the front courtyard, I pulled out my phone and tapped in a message.

  The eagle has landed. Just outside her dorm. Update?

  Within a few minutes, my phone vibrated with a text from Nate:

  Q is here with me and Gia. Safe for you to go up. I’ll send her back in about fifteen minutes.

  I smiled. Perfection. When the next group of girls exited the dorm, I held the door for them, smiling as they passed before I ducked inside and jogged up the steps to the fourth floor. I found the right suite number and knocked on the door.

  Since she’d met her, on their first day of freshman year, Quinn had described her new roommate to me as breathtakingly gorgeous. So when the beautiful blonde answered my knock, I wasn’t surprised by her appearance.

  Zelda regarded me with interest, leaning on the door jamb as an enigmatic smile played over her lips.

  “So. You’re the boyfriend.” Her eyes wandered down my body, unabashedly checking me out, lingering over the zipper of my jeans. “Good to meet you. Finally.”

  I swallowed a sigh. I knew what this was all about; the fact that I hadn’t come up to see my girlfriend at her school until now—midway through the fall of our sophomore year—must’ve looked bad to her friends.

  “I’m happy to meet you at last, too, Zelda.” I held out a hand. “Nate said he told you my plan. Thanks for helping.”

  She lifted one shoulder. “All I had to do was stay home tonight until you got here, and then find another place to sleep. Believe me, finding a warm and welcoming bed is never a problem for me.”

  “I’m sure.” I nodded, gesturing over her shoulder. “Okay if I come in?”

  She hesitated a moment before she stepped back. “Sure. Quinn’s room is the second door on the right. Bathroom’s on the end.” She turned and picked up a small backpack from the sofa in the tiny living area. “Make yourself comfortable, I guess. Nate said she should be back here by nine.”

  “Got it. And don’t worry. I’ll just hang out in her room. I won’t touch anything else.”

  “My door’s locked, so I’m not worried. And if you get the sudden urge to poke around in Gia’s room, more power to you. She’s a slob. There’s probably some hazardous waste in there, not to mention a lot of shit to trip over.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, Quinn’s mentioned that Gia is a little cleaning-impaired.”

  “That sounds like how Quinn would put it.” Zelda paused again, as though she was debating something, and then in a move too smooth to be accidental, she dropped her keys. “Oops. Guess I need these.” Bending at the waist, she leaned to scoop them up, and as she did, the tank she wore gaped at the neck, giving me an eyeful of her rack.

  I wasn’t a saint, by any means. And like any other red-blooded male, I liked a nice pair of tits. This chick had boobs for days, and the way she was standing, I could see that she wasn’t wearing a bra. Staring wouldn’t have made me a perv, not when Zelda was so clearly putting herself on display.

  But it would’ve made me a dick, because as nice as her tits were, they weren’t my girl’s, and that meant I wasn’t interested in them. I kept my eyes on Zelda’s face, never straying south.

  “It was really great to meet you, Zelda. I’m sure I’ll see you again while I’m here.”

  If I’d expected her to be offended by my lack of reaction, I’d have been disappointed. Instead, she only smiled a little and nodded.

  “I’m sure I will.” She put one hand on the doorknob and stopped again, this time not looking at me as she spoke. “You know, Quinn’s about the best person I’ve ever met. She’s kind, and understanding, and she doesn’t judge. I think you make her happy most of the time. But I also know you have the power to crush her. If you do that, I will cut off your dick, grind it up and feed it to dogs.”

  If Zelda had said those words with even the least bit of a threatening tone, it might’ve sounded comical. As it was, her voice was matter of fact and even, and that fact made what she said downright chilling.

  I swallowed ha
rd. “I believe you.”

  “Good.” She left without another backward glance, and I let out a long breath of relief before I headed for Quinn’s room.

  I’d known Quinn since she’d slept in a toddler bed. I remembered her canopy bed with the pink ruffled bedspread, and I remembered when her walls had been covered with posters of boy bands. But at first glimpse, her college room struck me as the most quintessentially Quinn room yet.

  Her bed was made up with some kind of fluffy white comforter covered with a patchwork quilt I recognized from her bedroom at home. On the wall over the bed was a large framed poster of the sun coming up over the ocean, a shot I was pretty sure she’d taken herself. Several pictures sat on the top of her dresser, including one of her father, one of me from the summer before college, and one of the three of us: Nate, Quinn and me. Off to the side sat a small wooden box, a little worn-looking where some of the varnish had rubbed off.

  I knew deep down I should respect her privacy and leave it alone, but still, I flipped open the lid and examined the contents. I couldn’t explain why, exactly, but over the last few months, I’d been feeling slightly removed from Quinn. We still talked every day, and she’d been down to see me at Carolina once already this semester. The sex was still smoking, but then again, that had never been an issue with the two of us. I got the sense, though, that whether or not she realized it, Quinn had cut me off from some part of her. There were thoughts she didn’t share as easily as she had a year ago. She went quiet more often, as though she were grappling with stuff she wasn’t willing to talk about yet.

  I missed her, the open, spontaneous Quinn I’d known all of my life. I craved that connection, the one I hadn’t even realized we’d had until it went away. And I had the uncomfortable sense that maybe its loss was mostly my fault. I was the one who was consumed with football; I was the one who’d gone away, even though I’d had a perfectly good reason to do it. I knew that sometimes when we talked, I was distracted, my mind on the playbook, on my class assignments and on everything else going on down in Carolina.