The Keeping Score Box Set

by Tawdra Kandle

  Leo: Uhhh—what is that picture?

  Quinn: What do you think it is?

  Leo: I’m afraid to guess.

  Quinn: Zelda and I went to this place . . . she wanted to get a new tattoo. I was just going along to keep her company, but then one thing led to another . . . and I got my belly button pierced.

  Leo: . . . .

  Quinn: Leo? Are you still there?

  Leo: I think I swallowed my tongue.

  Quinn: LOL Why?

  Leo: Not something I can explain over text. All I can say is, just when I think I know you, you go and surprise the hell out of me. Also, how much longer do you think you’re going to stay in California?

  Quinn: Is that a real question, or are you just teasing?

  Leo: Maybe a little of both. If I wasn’t in the middle of the mini-camp, I’d be making reservations right now. God, Mia. That’s seriously hot.

  Quinn: I’m glad you like it. But before you go getting ideas, I did it for me. It’s a symbol that I’m taking back my life, you know? Moving on. Stepping forward. I’m badass now.

  Leo: Honey, to me, you’ve always been a little badass. But I’m proud of you. Did it hurt?

  Quinn: At first, not as much as I thought it might. The guy who did it was very good at his job. The clamp actually hurt more than the piercing, but they use this loooooong needle—I almost passed out when I saw it. But I womanned up and stayed strong. Then I was so excited by how it looked that it didn’t matter. It hurts a little now, but nothing I can’t handle.

  Leo: I’m surprised you went with a piercing and not a tattoo.

  Quinn: I thought about it, but that’s more Zelda’s thing. I wanted to be different.

  Leo: You are, for sure. You two are having a good time? She’s not being a bad influence on you?

  Quinn: No, of course not. I mean, yeah, we’ve been out dancing, and we went to this club that was really, really cutting edge. What some of the people were wearing—and not wearing—blew my mind. But we’ve also been hanging out at the apartment, watching movies and binge-eating ice cream. She’s cooking for me tonight. So be jealous.

  Leo: I’m jealous, but not of her cooking for you. Did you meet anyone at these clubs?

  Quinn: Uh, yeah, I met lots of people. The clubs were all really crowded.

  Leo: Did you dance with any guys?

  Quinn: I did. Quite a few.

  Leo: Oh.

  Quinn: It was fine, Leo. No one made a move on me. It was nothing serious—just fast dances and fun. I’m not looking for a casual hook-up.

  Leo: But you are looking for something?

  Quinn: Not looking. If I was, I think I’d know where to find what I need. I’m not sure I’m ready yet. I’m a little scared.

  Leo: Will you think I’m a wuss if I say I’m a little scared, too?

  Quinn: Not at all. Maybe being scared makes us smart.

  Leo: Then I’m a fucking genius. Do you—shit, I just saw the time. I have to leave now or I’m going to be late and Coach will have my ass.

  Quinn: Okay. Don’t worry, I’ll be around later. Be careful out there, okay? xxx ooo

  Leo: Always am. Miss you, Mia.

  Quinn: Are you still awake?

  Leo: Yeah, I’m here. What’s up, babe? You okay?

  Quinn: Sort of. I was busy all day, working on the last edits for the book, and I never even thought about the date—and then I got a text from Sheri. It was a year ago today that Nate and I got married.

  Leo: Was Sheri upset?

  Quinn: Hard to tell, but I don’t think so. She was pretty sweet about it. She thanked me for being Nate’s best friend and his wife. But it made me feel like shit that I didn’t remember before.

  Leo: Don’t beat yourself up. Do you think Nate would want you to be moping around all day, remembering?

  Quinn: No, he absolutely wouldn’t. He’d be pissed if I were. He wanted me to keep on living. But I don’t ever want to forget him, you know? He was important to me. He still is.

  Leo: I get that. I don’t think you ever will.

  Quinn: Will it bother you if I’m sad about him now and then? I mean . . . if it happens when I’m with you?

  Leo: Never. And I need you to know something right now, Mia. I want you to be with me, when you’re ready. I’m not pushing. I’m not giving you a deadline or an ultimatum. But when you feel like you’re in a place where we could be with each other . . . never doubt that I’m just waiting for you to say the word. I want you with me even if you’re still sad about Nate, or even if we’re still figuring out how to make things work for us.

  Quinn: How did you know I needed that today? I thought about marrying Nate last year, and how much it hurt you, and it made me wonder if you really did want me.

  Leo: I think I told you once, babe. The day I stop wanting you will be the day my heart stops beating, and even then, I’m pretty sure your face is the last thing I’ll want to see.

  Quinn: I miss you, Leo. I wish you were with me tonight. xxx ooo

  Leo: I wish that, too, Mia. But soon, right? Soon.

  “Are you sure there isn’t anything else I can do for you?” I leaned one hand on the corner of Kara Crocker’s beautiful antique desk. “Do you need me to go over those press statements one more time? Or I can run out to pick up the new candles you ordered for the front table. Or—”

  “Quinn.” Kara shot me a stern look. “Stop. The press statements are perfect. They’ve already been sent out. And the candles will be delivered. You are off the clock, sweetheart. Get out of here. Go for a walk, or go shopping, or go out to lunch. Or take a nap.”

  I dropped into the small, elegant chair that fronted the desk. “But I don’t want to be off the clock. I want to be helpful.”

  “Darling girl.” Kara stood up, came around to stand in front of me and tugged me to my feet. “You’ve spent the last five months being helpful. Allan and I are so grateful for everything you’ve done for us. We love you, and we will always consider you part of our family. But now, you need to take a little time for yourself. Look at this book as your baby. You’ve given it everything you can—we all have. Now Baby is leaving the nest. Flying the coop. And you have to let it go and enjoy some well-earned relaxation. Got it?”

  I nodded reluctantly. “Yes. I got it.”

  “Good. Now shoo. Skedaddle. Hit the road.”

  “Fine.” I almost literally dragged my feet on my way out of Kara’s study. “I know when I’m not wanted.”

  “You’re always wanted, sweetheart.” Kara shook her head. “Now, tell me what are you going to do with your free afternoon?”

  I shrugged. “I think . . .” I reviewed my San Francisco bucket list in my head. I’d written down all the things I wanted to do and see before I left the city. Not that I’d set a date for doing that yet, but with the book finished, I figured my time here was running out. “I haven’t really spent any time at Fisherman’s Wharf. I know it’s a big tourist attraction, but—”

  “Excellent idea. You can get something to eat, you can walk around . . . good thinking. And off you go.”

  “Are you trying to get rid of me?” I scowled at Kara.

  “Yes, I am.” She cocked one brow. “Allan is on his way home from the restaurant in Fremont, and I have a special surprise planned for him . . . to celebrate the book being finished. Just the two of us, if you get my drift.”

  My face went hot, and my mouth dropped a little. “Um. Yeah, I get it. Okay, I am out of here. I’ll talk to you . . .”

  “Tomorrow.” Kara’s lips curved into a cat-like smile. “I’ll call you.”

  “You got it.” I stumbled in my haste to leave. “Have fun. I mean—yeah.” I practically ran out of the room and toward the front door, where I nearly mowed over Allan as he came in.

  “Whoa there! Where’s the fire?” He grinned down at me.

  “Nowhere. I’m taking the afternoon off. Kara’s in her study. See you later!” Without even pausing, I sailed out the door.

  Since I wa
s embracing the full tourist experience, I walked a few blocks and hopped on a cable car across from Union Square, riding it all the way through Nob Hill, past Chinatown and along the edge of Russian Hill until we reached the end of the line at the Bay. It took longer than a cab would have, but it was much more fun.

  Stepping out, I sucked in a deep breath and lifted my face to the sun. One thing I’d learned during the course of my months in the City by the Bay was that warmth was a fleeting commodity. It was rare that we hit seventy degrees, even during the summer.

  I paused at the entrance to the Wharf and held up my phone to snap a picture of the iconic Fisherman’s Wharf sign. Sending it to Leo, I added a quick message.

  Quinn: Taking the afternoon off to relax and play tourist. Who knows what trouble I might get into!

  He didn’t answer me right away, but I wasn’t too worried. Since mini-camp had ended a few days ago, I knew he was tying up loose ends before the real preseason training camp kicked off at the end of July. Leo and Gia had been working hard on the non-profit they were starting together. I’d noticed that Gia had sounded perkier the last few times we’d spoken, and I knew they were both excited about being able to help young athletes and memorialize Matt at the same time.

  The Wharf was crowded with families and other groups, all of them milling around, taking in the sights and lining up for food at the booths and stands. I stopped at an ice cream stand and bought myself a mint chocolate chip cone. Nearby, there was a huge crab-shaped shrubbery, complete with claws made of metal. I smiled as I found a seat on one of its adjacent benches.

  It was impossible to feel alone in this place, with its bustle and crowds, yet for the first time since my early days in California, I was lonely. It wasn’t something sudden: whether it was the fact that I’d finished the job I’d come out here to do, or the fun I’d had while Zelda was visiting, bringing me a tempting taste of home, or just that my texting-only relationship with Leo had escalated to a point where I physically ached to see him again, my longing for the familiar had been building steadily.

  I was down to the very end of my cone, about to take the last bite, when I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a familiar voice.

  “Once upon a time, you used to save me at least a bite of your ice cream cone.”

  My heart leaped into my throat, and I nearly choked as I spun around, dropping the rest of the cone. For a dizzying moment, I was certain that I was hallucinating.

  Leo stood behind me, grinning. His eyes drank me in, but he didn’t reach for me. Instead, he jammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, watching me and waiting.

  For several beats of my heart, I was frozen in place, immobilized by shock. And then a wellspring of gladness broke inside me, and I launched myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and clinging as tight as I could.

  When his arms circled around my waist, holding me close, every last bit of loneliness and uncertainty vanished like the early morning fog. For the first time in forever, I was complete.

  I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons

  “So, Taylor. When do you head out?” Corey wiped off his forehead and bent at the waist, breathing hard. We’d just finished running three miles, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why. After all, mini-camp had ended the day before, and preseason training camp didn’t start for another month. This was supposed to be our break, but Iverson had big ideas about staying in shape between times. I’d agreed to do some lifting and a little PT, but I hadn’t expected him to want to run today. When he’d showed up at my house, though, eager to get in a few miles, I hadn’t had the heart to turn him away.

  Not that he would’ve left anyway. Dude was seriously stubborn when it came to this training shit.

  Now I stared at him, my eyes narrowing. “Where exactly am I heading out to again?”

  “San Fran, to see your girl.” He spoke serenely and certainly, as though I actually had discussed plans of this nature with him before. I hadn’t.

  Oh, had I considered the idea of flying out to see Quinn? Uh, yeah. Every day, at least once an hour, for the last several months. We were texting all the time now; whenever I had a spare minute, I was checking in with her, if she wasn’t busy, and it was the same on Quinn’s end. I waited every morning for her good-morning message—I couldn’t send her one, since with the time difference, it would have still been the middle of the night when I got up—and the last thing I did every night before my eyes closed was to tell her good-night.

  But I wasn’t sure if it was time yet, and that was what held me back from making plans to see her. We hadn’t actually talked on the phone once the whole time she’d been out on the West Coast. Neither of us ever brought it up; it was as though suggesting it might break some kind of spell. I liked texting, anyway, because it gave me time to think about what I wanted to say and kept me from making a complete ass of myself. Also, it meant that I could read back over her texts and relive our conversations.

  God almighty. Maybe I was turning into a chick. That sounded like something a preteen with a crush might do.

  Biting back a groan at that thought, I shook my head. “I don’t have any plans to fly to California.”

  “Uh huh. Why’s that? Is it because you’re a big old chicken shit?” Corey straightened up and rolled his shoulders.

  “No. It’s because I’m not sure either of us are ready to see each other in person yet. I don’t want to rush into anything.”

  “Ellie thinks you should go. She says it’s time. She says Quinn needs you to make a grand gesture, and this would be perfect.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I stretched, bending over and grabbing my calves, feeling it in my back. “But she doesn’t even know Quinn.”

  “She told me you’d say that. And she said to tell you that there are some universal truths that apply to all women, and this is one of them. She says Quinn needs you to go to her. She has to know that she means everything to you, that you will do anything for her.”

  “Huh.” I picked up a bottle of water from the low wall that fronted my yard. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve been thinking about it. But for months, all I heard from everyone was to give her time. Stay back. Be patient. Don’t push. Don’t rush into anything. I guess I’m afraid that if I jump too soon, I could screw up everything.”

  “False start.” Corey nodded, pursing his lips. “Good point. But you know, bro, timing’s everything, right? In football and in matters of the heart.” He smirked. “When I first met Ellie, I knew she was the girl for me. All my buddies were asking girls to the dance—”

  “Wait, the dance? How old were you?”

  He shook his head impatiently. “Fourteen. We were in eighth grade. Anyway, I didn’t ask Ellie. I waited until we were at the dance, and all the guys were being little assholes, because that’s what fourteen-year-old boys do, and I swept in, asked her to dance. I bought her a soda. I walked her home. I was the hero, and I got the girl.” He folded his arms over his chest.

  “You were kids. You’re comparing a junior high dance with the possibility of me losing the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with?”

  “Hey.” Corey narrowed his eyes. “Who’s got a wife? Who’s been with the same lady since we were fourteen? Who managed to hold onto her through high school, college and three years in the pros?” He hooked a thumb at his chest. “That would be me. Who hasn’t been able to close the deal yet and has to mope around being the lonely bachelor all year? That would be you, my friend. So take my advice. Hell, take my wife’s advice. Get your sorry ass to California.”

  Shaking out my arms, I worked my jaw back and forth, thinking. Corey kept his eyes on me, waiting.

  After a few silent minutes, I held out my hand. “Can I borrow your phone? Mine’s inside.”

  “Why?” He quirked a challenging eyebrow.

  “Give me the fucking phone, man. I need to go online and see when’s the first flight to San Francisco.”

  I didn’t make a conscious decision to
surprise Quinn, but once I made my airline reservation, I got busy packing and getting to the airport. It wasn’t until I landed at the Oakland airport—it had been faster and cheaper to fly into that one—that I realized I didn’t know where Quinn was. I hadn’t had any reason to ask for her address since she’d come out here; we only texted.

  Out of desperation, I sent Gia a message, explaining the bare essentials: that I was in California surprising Quinn, that I didn’t know how to find her, and that I was throwing myself on her mercy. She responded quickly, admitting she didn’t have Quinn’s address either, but promising she could get it. I stood just outside baggage claim, tapping my finger on my leg, until another text came through.

  This time, though, it wasn’t Gia.

  Zelda: This is Zelda, in case you don’t have me in your contacts. Why are you in CA? Why doesn’t Q know you’re there?

  I cringed. I wasn’t too proud to admit Zelda still made me a little nervous.

  Leo: I flew out to surprise her. I have only good intentions, I promise. Please, Zelda. Trust me.

  I could almost feel her trying to decide whether or not to take pity on me. Finally, a telephone number popped up on my screen.

  Zelda: That’s Kara Crocker’s number. She’ll know where Q is. She can give you her address, too.

  I exhaled, closing my eyes briefly before I tapped out another message.

  Leo: Thank you so much, Zelda. I really appreciate this.

  Zelda: Don’t make me sorry I helped you. My promise about grinding up your dick still stands. Don’t think I’ve forgotten.

  My stomach tightened and my balls shrunk up into my body.

  Leo: I haven’t forgotten either. Don’t worry. I’m going to do anything and everything to make Quinn happy.

  Zelda: Make sure you do.

  I decided it would be more expedient to call Kara Crocker instead of texting her. I didn’t know if she would answer a strange number or if she’d even know who I was. I was pretty certain Quinn had mentioned me; we’d discussed her deep conversations with both the Crockers, and I imagined at least some of them had to have involved me. When it came to talking about the Trio, it was hard to speak about one without including all of us.