Deadlock

by Cherrie Lynn

  “Are you convinced yet?” he asked, voice a rasp.

  “I’m not sure. You might have to investigate further.” Who the hell was she right now? Who did he make her when he touched her like this?

  He shifted back, his hand now where his cock had just been, fingers gently exploring her over her underwear. Lindsey’s head fell back. She spread her knees wider. Her chest heaved; her body clenched on aching emptiness. When his fingers dipped underneath the waistband, she bit her lip and writhed up to meet them.

  “Look at me,” he said, and she did, her eyes narrowing in pure bliss as his finger slid into her, slowly thrusting into her wetness. So good. Once she accepted one easily, he slid in another, the stretch burning deliciously. “I’m going to lick you there,” he said, so matter-of-factly.

  The words came from somewhere. “Do a good job. Then maybe I’ll decide.”

  “Dammit.” His chuckle was pure evil as he pulled her panties down her legs and off. Then his big hands were parting her thighs, and he was looking down at her, and oh God, when was the last time she’d shaved? She couldn’t be bothered to figure it out. Nothing mattered here except for him. And his fingers snugging back into her pussy, and his lips lowering over her clit, and then she was gone, lost in pleasure that left her shaking as he licked, and licked, and licked.

  He laced his fingers over the flat of her stomach, holding her captive to his exploration, not rushing, in no hurry to shoot her to the stars just yet. But she was in a hurry to get there. The scruff on his jaw chafed her inner thighs, and she rocked against him as best she could, but he didn’t give her any control. His clever tongue worked miracles across her flesh, teasing her clit with the barest tip until she was moaning and writhing and desperate.

  “Do you want to come?” he murmured.

  “God yes!” Make it all go away.

  “In my mouth or wrapped around me?”

  “Can’t I have both?”

  “You can. You will. But I can’t give you both at once.”

  How could she choose? But she wanted him close, she wanted to hold him, she wanted to look into his eyes. “I want you in me.”

  Slowly, too slowly, he crawled up the length of her body, pausing to kiss trails up her quivering belly, between her aching breasts, and to gently suck each nipple in turn. “You’re fucking beautiful, Lindsey.”

  And then he was over her, braced on his powerful arms as her own feverish hands collected the feel of him, the strength of his muscles, hoping to borrow some of it for tonight, for the days ahead. His cock nestled between her legs, smooth and thick, and he slid it slowly, deliberately over her clit. She lifted her hips to take it, but he wouldn’t be rushed.

  “And so, you’ve decided?” he murmured, raining little kisses across her forehead. “I must’ve done a good job.”

  Her need would no longer allow for games. It raged on unchecked. The ache low in her belly had become an inferno. His lips slid over hers, teasing them open for the invasion of his tongue, showing her a rhythm she began to crave between her legs.

  Yes, yes, do it, please do it, make me whole…

  “You’re so wet, and I’m not even inside you yet,” he groaned, still sliding against her. “You’re going to feel so fucking good.”

  So was he, she knew it—he was going to be better than anything she’d ever known in her entire life, if he would only hurry up. “I’m so ready for you,” she whispered back, linking her fingers behind his neck. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

  In the midst of the passion darkening his eyes, something softened. “Let’s not keep you waiting any longer, then.” And he kissed her as he slid one arm under her leg and lifted it, opening her wider, giving him more control as he slipped the head of his cock lower and pushed.

  It wasn’t easy. It took effort. She whimpered, stretching to accommodate him, her forehead pressed against his as their breathing shuddered together, as he pushed and stopped. “Oh fuck, Lindsey. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You can’t, I promise.” Two hot tears squeezed from her closed eyes, but not from pain. It wasn’t her first time, but it was. It was her first time to feel this. He was all her love and fear and pain and rage, everything she ran from, coalescing into one place, taking her over all at once. “Just kiss me?”

  He did, and as he moved forward inside her, inch by slow, delectable inch, her body adjusted and accepted. He broke out in a sweat, and so did she, loving him for being so patient, for considering her needs. “Thank you,” she said against his lips, the words simply tumbling out without her permission. She ran her hands through his soft hair, loving the warmth of it, inhaling the scent of them together as he slowly began withdrawing.

  The sound he made was the only response she needed. Knowing she was affecting him as much as he was her, that she was giving as much as she took. He pulled out of her, leaving her empty, seeming to pause to collect himself before taking her again. And again. Each thrust easier but no faster. She was panting with need by then, her nails digging into his shoulders, his biceps, and then his back as she tried to draw him closer.

  “Faster,” she whispered, the long, thick, slow slide of him curling her toes.

  “Fuck, baby, I won’t last.” But he gave her what she wanted nonetheless, the warmth of his breath tickling her ear as he picked up his pace, making chills skitter down her spine. And despite his words, he did last, he lasted until she was panting raggedly, hanging on to him for dear life as the delicious friction they created swelled to a conflagration.

  “Oh God.”

  “So good. So fucking good,” he said, the words fading into a groan as she clenched on him, her body craving each thrust, pulling him deep. “I only thought I knew.”

  Those were the sweetest words he could have said right then, because she understood how he felt. The magic they created came from a place she never could have imagined existed in her mundane life. It felt secret and special, something she was never meant to have. The tears kept coming, one after another, and for once she didn’t mind them. He kissed them all away as he made her body feel as if it were full of starlight.

  Then that magic became something seething and needy and desperate, and her excitement built to a peak that was sharp and merciless, screaming for release before it destroyed her. His thrusts became even faster, rolling and erratic, his breath rasping in her ear. “I’m gonna come, sweetheart. Are you with me?”

  “I’m with you,” she whimpered. She couldn’t wait to feel him, to hear him, to watch him. The slick fire their bodies created had become like an electric current inside her, building, building. “Yes, Jace, yes…”

  It all exploded at once, and the world fractured around her. From some great distance, she heard him and felt him and saw him like she wanted. But she was tumbled under the force of the pleasure he unleashed in her, and her heart struggled to keep beating, her lungs locked up in her chest. Her thoughts shut down like a plug had been pulled on her brain, but somehow she kept living.

  And then, slowly, she came back to herself and back to Jace, who was collapsed over her and shaking. “Fuck,” he cursed into her ear. “Jesus Christ.”

  She didn’t have a voice yet. Her limbs were locked around his shoulders and hips, holding him deep inside her, and all she could think was that it was a good thing she was on birth control, because she wouldn’t have let him pull out if he’d needed to. He was as deep inside her as he could go. She loved it, loved feeling him all over her.

  “Are you okay?” he whispered into her ear, and she could only nod as he began to kiss the wetness on her cheeks. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.” Her voice sounded as if she hadn’t spoken for years.

  “Talk to me, Lindsey.”

  “I can’t right now. I’m not back yet.”

  He chuckled. “Where are you?”

  “I don’t know, but I love it her
e. It’s a good place.”

  “That’s good. Maybe you can visit again sometime soon.”

  “I’d like to.”

  His fingers gently caught her chin and made her look at him. “I’m there with you.”

  Then it was the only place she ever wanted to be. Their safe place, here in each other’s arms. She managed to move her heavy limbs and capture his face between her palms, bringing him down for a kiss.

  “You’re so fucking sweet,” he whispered against her lips.

  It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear—it seemed to be the story of her life, that no matter how wild or wanton she tried to be with a man, she was always sweet or fun. But somehow, coming from him, it wasn’t so bad. He made sweet sound positively sinful, like a confection to be devoured at will. She could definitely handle that.

  He held her for a long time and, when their light kisses and caresses began to progress into heavy kisses and caresses, made love to her again. This time, he didn’t make her beg. He was rough, driving her to a quick, violent orgasm that left her exhausted and panting.

  She fell asleep only to dream of him, and then had to wake him at three a.m. to reach the completion she hadn’t achieved in her dream. By then she was sore, but it didn’t matter. Her need eclipsed all else, and she rode him, their lips centimeters apart, their breath mingling in the scant distance. He let her hold down his wrists even though he could have broken her grip with a mere twitch, and the power of feeling he was a slave to her pleasure was heady and intoxicating.

  She couldn’t get enough of this man. She never would.

  And that was so dangerous.

  Chapter Twenty

  He woke to the sun streaming through his windows and Lindsey curled into his side, her expression soft in sleep. Ordinarily, he wasn’t a guy to linger in bed all day, especially with a woman. But nothing sounded more desirable to him right now than to spend the day right here with her, sleeping in between bouts of sex, laughing, drinking coffee, watching TV, more sex. All day. There was nowhere else on earth he would rather be.

  He turned toward her, drawing her into his arms, and she snuggled there as if even in sleep, she wanted to be close. Her soft, floral-scented hair tickled his nose as he breathed her in.

  Jace knew he should get up, shower, make her breakfast, something…but he couldn’t bring himself to leave the warmth of her body to face the cold day. She murmured something, and he gently pushed her hair back to see her delicate face in profile. “Hmm?”

  “Hurt all over,” she repeated, wriggling even closer to him.

  “Well, we got quite a workout last night.”

  Her answering chuckle was throaty and a tad on the naughty side, which he loved. “We did, didn’t we? I woke up a couple of times thinking maybe I dreamed the whole thing, but I would look over and you were there.”

  He kissed her forehead. “I’m here. Do you need anything? Coffee, food, Advil? Me?”

  “I need all of those things. We might need to switch the order a bit, though.”

  “Am I still last?”

  Lindsey lifted her head, a silky tumble of hair covering one eye, her lips still swollen and pouty from last night’s kisses and sleep. “No. You’re first.”

  He slipped under the covers and pushed her knees apart, putting his head between her legs and softly licking her until her body writhed and her hands plunged under the blankets to grip his hair. Her cries were so sweet, high, and musical, enough to incite any man into a fury of dominant lust, but he held her open and made her submit only to his gentleness until she was panting, then latched on to her and sucked until her hips came off the bed, offering herself up so he could feast on her as she came. At last, she dropped limply back to the mattress.

  “I can’t take much more of this,” she said, giggling as he emerged from under the covers and kissed her. He liked knowing that she could taste herself, taste the two of them combined.

  “Really? Oh baby, I thought we were just getting started.”

  “You’ll kill me before it’s over.”

  “Never. But now you’ve had me, so what do you need next?”

  “Coffee,” she decided. “But first, isn’t it my turn?” Her hand closed around his cock, which was still hard from her flavor, her softness, her cries. “Oh yeah. It’s definitely my turn.”

  “I wasn’t going to ask, but…”

  She pushed him back, and he went willingly, giving her free run of his body. And she explored every inch with her hands and her lips, teasing and enticing before finally going where he most ached for her, slipping his dick into the wet little cavern of her mouth. She sucked him down until he touched the back of her throat and, fuck, sucked him down a little bit more.

  Her delicate hand wrapped around him where her mouth couldn’t reach, enclosing him in heat and softness, the grip only tight enough to be maddening as her lips slid up and down, so sweet, and her hair slid like silk through his fingers. Pleasure so intense it was an exquisite pain. After last night, how did he even have anything left to give her? Somehow, she got it from him, holding her mouth on him and taking it all as he came, cussing a blue streak that made her laugh around him—which only shot him higher.

  “Fuck, Lindsey,” he groaned once he’d managed to come down again. “If we keep this up…”

  “We’ll never get out of bed? Sounds good to me.” She crawled up and settled onto his shoulder while he wrapped his arm tight around her.

  “What about coffee? Food? Advil?”

  “I can do without it if I have you.”

  Uneasiness slithered through him, and he began to wonder if he’d just made a colossal fuckup. Sex was all fine and good until feelings got involved. He definitely had them, but he’d grown adept at shutting his feelings off like the flick of a switch long ago. He could survive. Lindsey, however…

  Jace could resist his own feelings easily, yeah, but he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to resist hers. “Come on. I’m not going to let you lie here famished. We had a long night.” He grinned, kissing the top of her head. “Let’s get up.”

  He let her have the shower first, and while he would have liked nothing more than to join her—and she offered—he let her have it so he could put the coffee on and start breakfast for her. Imagining her wet and slick and soapy in the steam as he made omelets almost got the best of him. Another couple of minutes and he might have said “fuck it” and broke into a run for her, but then he heard the water shut off.

  It was snowing outside. He stood at the window, sipping from his cup and watching the white city below as Lindsey came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and placing a kiss on his shoulder. “Food’s on the table,” he told her. “I poured your coffee, but I don’t know how you take it.”

  “Do you have creamer?”

  “In the fridge.”

  Her arms dropped, and he turned to watch her go. She was wearing one of his shirts, which was adorably large on her, hanging well past mid-thigh. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He wanted to see where this might go, he really did. But things were so hectic in his life that subjecting her to it seemed to be the main way he could hurt her. Look what had already happened.

  “Lindsey.”

  “Jace,” she said almost as soon as the word had left his lips. “Don’t, okay? I already know what’s coming. I do. But can you save it? Can I enjoy this for a little while longer?”

  She opened his fridge and surveyed the interior, then reached for the creamer. He only watched, his heart heavy in his chest. The effort it cost her to act normal was painfully apparent. To act like she didn’t already know what he needed to say. When she pulled out the bottle, he saw how it trembled in her hand. “Sure,” he said at last. “Yeah.”

  “I don’t understand the mental shift that happens once the sun comes up,” she said sadly, walking over to the table and fixing her
coffee. “But whatever. I get it. Let’s move on.”

  “If things were different—”

  “No,” she said sharply and pointed at him with her spoon. “Do me the courtesy of not telling me how close we are to having it all, if only. It’s a tired song, and I’ve heard it sung before. At least be straight with me.”

  “I’m being as straight with you as I know how.”

  “And do you have to stand there shirtless while you tell me we would never work? Jesus, talk about cruel.”

  She was something else. He wasn’t quite sure what yet. Shaking his head, he went into his bedroom and threw on a shirt. Hadn’t he known from the start this was a huge mistake? But he’d gone and done it anyway. Story of his fucking life. Maybe the bigger mistake was trying to do damage control so soon after fucking her all night. She was right, and he should have let it rest.

  At least for a day or two.

  But if she gave him another day or two, he would happily spend those fucking her as well. Best to rip off the Band-Aid fast.

  When he walked out of the bedroom, she was sitting at his kitchen table, staring off into a distance only she could see while her omelet grew cold. He ambled up beside her, then took a knee and put his palm on her back, rubbing small circles. Her head dropped, her mouth drooping.

  “Last night was incredible for me,” he began tentatively. “I think it was for you, too. Who knows what the future holds, Lindsey, for either of us. Once this is over, we can see. But right now, we both need to keep a clear head. Anyone can come along and use you against me. I can’t have that vulnerability right now.”

  “I’m already a vulnerability for you,” she said. “I was from the moment I first knocked on your door.”

  She had him there. If anyone tried to hurt her now, he might risk his own neck and those of everyone he’d ever known to protect her. It was a thought that terrified him, a weakness he couldn’t afford to have.

  “If I were smart,” he told her, “I would send you far away. From me, from all of this.”