by Toni Aleo
“I would too. So next time, she can stay with me.”
“Thanks. She’d love that.”
“I would too. I get lonely.”
“I’d let you borrow her, but sorry, if I’m home, she’s with me. So I think I might have to come along.”
She giggles as she looks up at me. “That might be a problem.”
“Oh?” I ask as I raise my brows.
“Yup. We can’t eat hot dogs in peace if you’re there.”
I chuckle as I shake my head. “Fine. One hot dog.”
“Four.”
“Amelia!”
Her laughter sets my body on fire as she looks up at me innocently. “Fine, two.”
“Two it is.”
“They’re organic.”
“Oh, well, that makes it so much better. Organic can still make you gain weight.”
“Shut it,” she says, squeezing my hand with the sweetest little defiant look on her face.
“You’re so cute when you’re annoyed.”
She glares. Even cuter. “Shut up!”
She joins in on my laughter as she leans into me, and I swear I haven’t had this much fun walking in a really long time. As we walk, we check out the stores we pass, and we make small talk. With Lana, I always had to talk about something that interested her. Which, honestly, wasn’t that much unless it had to do with money or new cars. When I told her I had a plane, she asked when we could go on a trip. She always wanted something from me, but Amelia hasn’t asked for anything.
“So, I need to ask you something,” Amelia says tentatively.
I look down at her, but she isn’t looking at me. “Yeah?”
“Can we not tell Ryan about this? I don’t even really know what we’re doing, and I don’t want to get him worked up over it if it turns out to be nothing.”
“I won’t lie to him, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“No, not at all. I doubt he’ll come out and be like ‘Hey, have you kissed my sister lately?’”
When she looks up at me, I bend my head down to hers, pressing my lips to hers. It’s a soft kiss and a sweet one. One that makes us stop to enjoy it. When I pull back, she’s out of breath, and I smile. “You better hope he doesn’t, ’cause I’d never lie about kissing you. I enjoy it way too much.”
Her cheeks fill with color, as does her nose. “Seriously, can we not go out of our way to tell him that we’re hanging out?”
“Dating?”
“Seeing each other?”
“Dating?” I repeat, and she scrunches up her face as she tries not to grin.
“I told you, I’m not ready for that.”
“Well, sorry for ya, but we’re doing it.”
“We are?”
“Yup. So call it what it is, Justice.”
She shakes her head. “You’re so sure.”
“Damn right.”
Her eyes are challenging. “Fine. Moon.”
I laugh as we start walking, and I pull her close to me. “I won’t tell him.”
She lets out a long exhale. “Thanks.”
“But if we start confessing our love for each other and stuff, I’ll need to.”
She gives me a dry look. “Cool your jets, Moon.”
“Ooh, nice.”
She flashes me a grin. “Right? Like a jet that flies to the moon.”
We dissolve in laughter, and my face hurts from smiling. After a while, our laughs subside, and we just enjoy holding each other as we walk. The sun is beating down on us, and it’s lovely.
But she’s lovelier than any star in the sky.
“So Shelli will be here for Halloween, right? Do you guys have plans?”
She rolls her eyes, and I have a feeling I’m about to laugh. “She wants to pass out candy. She’s making me dress up.”
“As what?”
“A llama.”
I couldn’t hold in my laughter if I tried. “No way.”
“Yes, she bought these huge llama heads! She’s insane.”
I can’t breathe, I’m laughing so hard. She doesn’t seem to appreciate my laughter, but there is no way I can stop. I do try, though, and when it tapers off, I clear my throat. “So, I’m going to need to see this.”
“Hell no.”
I snort. “No, for real. You have to come to my party as a llama.”
“You’re having a party?”
“Yup, the whole team will be there. It’s on the beach and in the house. You guys have to come. I demand it.”
Her eyes twinkle playfully. “Demand it?”
“Yes. Not only am I certain you’ll be the hottest llama ever, but you’re my date.”
She grins. “Well, goodness. I didn’t even know I had a date for Halloween.”
“Now you do,” I say confidently as we turn onto Meeker Street. “What do you say?”
“I guess.”
“You guess?” I laugh.
“Yeah. I don’t have anything else to do.”
“Oh, I’m so grateful.”
She leans up, kissing my jaw, and my heart skips a beat. But when the big GymMasters sign comes into view, I feel Amelia tense up. I watch as her shoulders fall, and she leans closer into my chest. Almost like she is hiding from the sign. When I said we should walk home, I did so on purpose. I wanted to walk past this gym. I’m not sure how this is going to go, but I think it’s for the best.
“Confession time.”
She glances up at me, and I see such melancholy in her eyes. It guts me. She was so happy before, and within seconds, it’s gone. That physically hurts me, but hopefully this will help. “I called this gym the other day and asked if they were hiring.”
Her eyes widen, and when she stops, I stop too, not letting her go. “Why?”
“I wanted to know. I’m kind of hurting for money. Figured I could get a second job.” She narrows her eyes, and I realize this probably isn’t something to joke about. “Sorry. I called for you.”
She blinks twice, and then she opens her mouth. She shuts it but then opens it again, looking like a super-cute little goldfish. “Why?” she asks finally.
“This is where you belong.”
“Did you tell them it was for me?”
“No, I just asked if they were hiring,” I say quickly. I should have said that from the jump.
She doesn’t say anything. She tears her gaze from mine and starts walking, which in return makes me walk since I refuse to let her go. “They are, by the way. For a team coach and two recreational coaches.”
She doesn’t say anything. She’s looking straight ahead, and I really don’t know what to say. Did I just mess this up? Shit. When we reach the parking lot, I pause, and so does she. “Do you want to go in?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll go with you,” I offer. “I’ll stand beside you, behind you, in the corner…anywhere, if it helps.”
She moves out of my arms then. “You just don’t understand.”
“I—”
Her eyes are wide, and they reflect so much hurt as she yells, “Gymnastics was my life!”
I blink. “I know. Which is why I’m suggesting you go—”
She throws her hands up, her eyes wild as they fill with tears. “I gave it up for some shithead who ruined my life and me. No one wants me. Why would they? I couldn’t even stay in school or on a great team because I wanted to be with some guy who promised me the world. I’m a failure, Chandler. Don’t you see that?”
“Amelia—”
When the tears start to spill over onto her cheeks, my heart shatters into pieces, and I feel them fall into my gut.
“When people heard what I did, they told me that I was stupid, that I was insane. I didn’t believe it. I wanted to be with someone who loved me. I wanted what my mom had, and I didn’t. I, um, I—”
When her voice breaks, a sob escaping, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her in close. I kiss the top of her head
as she falls apart in my arms. My heart hurts for her and the mistakes she made. It happens, though; we were just kids. I try to calm her as I continue to kiss her head. “Amelia, I know it doesn’t seem okay, but I promise it is.”
She shakes her head. “How?”
“You made a mistake, you learned from it, and you’re moving on. Some people dwell on their mistakes, but I don’t think you’re that person.”
She scoffs. “I’ve been dwelling for a year.”
“Well, that’s a year too long,” I say, pulling her head back so I can see her face. Her nose is red, as are her eyes. Another tear falls, and I wipe it away quickly. “What do you want?”
Her lips quiver as more tears roll down her face. “To be happy.”
“What makes you happy?”
She pauses, her eyes swimming with tears as she searches mine. I wish she’d say me, but let’s be honest, she isn’t where I am and that’s okay. “Gymnastics,” she whispers, but then she squeezes her eyes shut. “But what if they don’t want me and then I only feel more like a failure?”
I wipe away her tears with my thumbs. “What if they want you right then and there?” She opens her eyes and gazes up at me. “Only way to find out is to go in there.”
She looks over at the building that could hold her happiness. A place that could get her back to where she was before that fuckface she married ruined everything for her. I almost think she’s gonna do it, but then she shakes her head.
“I’m not ready.”
“Okay, that’s fine,” I say, kissing her nose. “We can try again another day.”
“We?”
“Oh yeah, I want to be there. Even if I sit in the car or in the corner like I said, I want to be there with you.” A grin pulls at my lips. “When you get it, I want to see your face light up.”
She blinks away her tears as she shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I know you probably think I’m pathetic—”
“I don’t. I understand, Amelia, and I got you.”
She looks down at my chest and lets out a long sigh. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
My eyes soften as I run my hands down her face, cupping the back of her neck. My thumbs glide along her jaw as her eyes meet mine. “You’re obviously upset, and I did spring this on you.”
“But I shouldn’t have yelled. I get so angry or upset, and then it just happens. I’m really sorry—”
I bend my head down, pressing my lips to hers and stopping her words. It’s a quick kiss, one to shut her up before I pull away, looking deep into her eyes. “I can handle yelling, Amelia. It’s no big deal.”
Her eyes are watery, and she looks terrified. I don’t get it. She didn’t even really yell at me; she was just upset. Man, she’s killing me. “You sure you still want to date me?”
“Yeah, baby,” I confirm. “Your yelling won’t scare me away.”
I don’t think anything will.
Chapter Fourteen
Amelia
Somehow, Chandler still wants to see me. I don’t know how or why, but he does. I really thought when I lost my shit on him outside GymMasters, he would have run the other way. He didn’t. He comforted me, and he talked me through it. I almost didn’t want him to leave when we got to my house because I thought he wouldn’t come back.
But he did.
For the last week, when we’re not talking on the phone, we’re hanging out. He has come to have coffee with me during my breaks almost every day. He’s taken Shelli and me to dinner almost every night. We went to a movie yesterday, and we had breakfast on the beach with Shelli and Nico this morning.
When he kisses me, I feel it in my soul. What really gets me is he doesn’t care where we are or who we’re with. If he can kiss me, he will. Every single time, my heart races and my stomach goes nuts. I haven’t felt like this in years, and it’s amazing. I’ve been out more with him in the last few weeks than I was with Drew the last year of our marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I’m having an absolute blast, but I’m also completely terrified.
Every day, he learns more about me. I know that’s the point, and when I told this to Shelli, she rolled her eyes at me. But what happens when I do something to piss him off? What happens if he doesn’t like my yelling or my quick wit? It could all go wrong in seconds. It did with Drew. While I know some of it wasn’t my fault, surely there had to be parts that were. I had to do something to make Drew so mad that he’d lay a hand on me. I don’t know, because in my heart, I know it wasn’t my fault. But the irrational fear inside of me says it may have been.
I swallow hard past the lump of emotion stuck in my throat as I apply my makeup. I French-braided my hair so it wouldn’t get all crazy in the absurd llama head I’m supposed to wear. My jumpsuit is a bright yellow, while Shelli’s is a bright green. I have never seen a green or yellow llama, but Shelli insists they’re whimsical. I think it’s her spin on making us look like complete idiots, but it does make me smile. We’ve been dressing up for Halloween since we were itty-bitty.
When my phone vibrates with a text, I reach for it to see it’s a picture from Ryan. A slow grin pulls at my lips as the photo of Ryan and Sofia appears. They’re dressed as Nintendo’s Mario and Peach to pass out candy in their new neighborhood. They look absolutely adorable. I send a quick text back saying that and promising to send one of Shelli and me. Though, that may be a lie. I don’t know if I want people seeing me in this fluffy yellow jumpsuit with matching llama head. If that were really the case, though, I wouldn’t be going to Chandler’s Halloween party.
I can’t wait to see him.
In the mirror, I see Sadie is sleeping on my bed behind me. Her head is on my pillow, while the rest of her is sprawled out as if she belongs there. When I offered to keep her here during the party, I was worried Chandler would say no, but he agreed almost immediately. He didn’t want her getting lost while we’re having a good time. He’s such a good dog dad.
A little grin slides across my lips as I apply my mascara. Once I am done with that, I swipe my lip gloss on my lips before nodding my head. I did my eye shadow to match the yellow of my jumpsuit, with a nice nude lip for when I’m not wearing the helmet. I guess I look okay. Satisfied, I get up and head out of my room to the living room where my llama twin awaits. When Shelli sees me, she grins.
“You make a cute llama.”
I roll my eyes. “I can’t believe you’re making me wear this.”
She hands me my head before putting on hers. Her words are muffled as she says, “We’re amazing!”
So she says.
After I put my llama head on, we lock up and head down the stairs to the beach. I was surprised by how easy it was to talk Shelli out of passing out candy. I thought for sure she’d fight me, but she was cool going to Chandler’s. Maybe she does like Nico? Or maybe it’s the possibility of hanging out with all the IceCat players. Who knows.
As we head down the beach, I can already see the bonfire and the group of people that are outside Chandler’s house. It’s rowdy and loud, but from what I heard, Chandler paid off the neighbors so no one would call the cops. He won’t own up to it, but I’m pretty sure that’s a new grill on Mr. Kowalski’s back deck. He’s been saving up for one for months, but he wasn’t sure he would ever have enough. He doesn’t get enough money on social security to buy one. If Chandler did get him the grill, he’s smart because Mr. Kowalski would be the one to call the cops. He yells at me for playing my music too loud when I’m cleaning my car.
Surly old man.
When we reach the party, I see Nico first. He’s wearing a pair of extremely short red shorts with socks up to his knees. His white shirt is tight on his body, and he’s wearing a red sweatband around his head. A whistle hangs from his neck, and he has a fake ’stache on. Not sure if he is going for the creepy gym teacher, but if so, he nailed it.
“Hey! My llama twins!” he exclaims as he comes toward us, two beers in hand. “You guys look fluf
fy.”
He reaches out, rubbing Shelli’s arm, and she laughs. As much as I would like to say they’ve started something up, they haven’t. He wants her, but Shelli isn’t having it. She tells me it’s because she’s so busy in New York, but I think it’s because she’s holding out hope that one day, her prince will come. The prince? Aiden Brooks of the Rangers. I don’t actually think it will happen since it hasn’t yet, but who am I to go against fate?
“Thanks,” I say, even though I don’t think he can hear me. “Where is Chandler?”
“Moon? He’s upstairs, stocking the fridge with more beer.” He hands Shelli the beer in his other hand. “You don’t drink beer, right?” he asks me.
“Nope. I’ll be back.” I head up to Chandler’s house. Like in mine, there is a large staircase that leads up from the beach to his even bigger porch. People are everywhere, dressed as all kinds of things. It’s a great turnout. After I make my way through the crowd, I enter the kitchen. When I see Chandler standing in front of the sink, I am thankful for my llama head. Because if he saw the way my tongue was hanging out of my mouth like a damn dog’s, he’d be concerned. In my defense, my reaction is only because he is standing in nothing but a loincloth.
Hubba-hubba.
But then I notice the barely dressed women around him. He is laughing, having a grand time, and I feel a sting of jealousy. I’m standing in a fucking llama outfit while these girls are sexy nurses, cops, and…wait, is she a sexy zombie?
Way to pick a costume, Shelli.
I almost walk away, but then Chandler sees me. A slow, suggestive grin covers his lips before he pushes off the sink, coming toward me. “Amelia?”
“Guilty,” I say with a shrug. “Guess I picked the wrong costume.”
He’s grinning. “I think it’s awesome. You’re so fluffy,” he says, touching my fur. He then reaches for my head, pulling it off to reveal my mortified expression. But it disappears once our eyes meet. “Hey.”
I smile. “Hey.”
He leans in, kissing me on the lips tenderly. When he pulls back, I take an obvious step back to check him out. “Loincloth.”
He grins proudly. “Yup. You like?”