The Ingredients for Happiness

by Lucy Knott

  ‘I can’t do it,’ Amanda whispered, freezing on the spot, her head hanging low. Sabrina grabbed her shoulders and her mum clasped her hands, as the others stepped back to give them space. Tilting up her chin, Sabrina stared her dead in the eyes and wiped at her tears. ‘You absolutely can,’ Sabrina started, shaking Amanda ever so gently, ‘You can, and you will, because, because you’ve never failed him before,’ Sabrina finished, her voice cracking at the end. Amanda inhaled a sharp breath in, Sabrina’s words at war in her brain. The thought that her grandpa had always been so proud of Amanda’s skills in the kitchen, and how she took after him, was enough to fill her with a fierce determination. While at the same time, she felt crippled at the realization that he wasn’t here to pat her on the back and kiss her forehead when she succeeded. He was supposed to be with her now.

  ‘Sweetheart, look at me,’ her mum said, taking over from Sabrina. Sabrina stepped back into Levi’s arms and Amanda lifted her head to look at her mum. ‘Sweetie, he’s with you always. I promised you, remember? He’s not gone anywhere. He’s right here and I know he is so proud of you.’ Her mum pointed at Amanda’s chest, over her heart, before pulling her into a hug. ‘Now, it smells incredible in here and I don’t think us lot will be able to eat everything you and Lauren have whipped up, no matter how delicious,’ she added, making Amanda snort though her sniffles.

  ‘Have you not met my boyfriend?’ Amanda chuckled, as Dan shyly stepped forward. Her mum released her, and Amanda kissed her cheek and whispered, ‘Thank you,’ as Dan reached out and took her hand. Kate wasn’t kidding when she had said that there were already people queuing up outside. The rumbling of chatter was getting louder.

  Dan leant down and wiped away Amanda’s tears with a tissue. He then kissed her softly on the lips leaving her a little breathless from his touch. ‘Your restaurant is my favourite restaurant,’ Dan said, quoting something Grandpa used to tell her whenever she made him lunch or dinner. Amanda’s chest heaved. Grandpa would chuckle and tell her that he didn’t need to go out when he had the best chef he knew cooking for him in his home. She hoped she’d done him proud. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered to Dan, grateful for the confidence boost and reminder of her grandpa’s words and belief in her. She couldn’t give up now. Deep down she knew all this was for him, more than for her, to continue his legacy and all that he had taught her. Amanda lifted her head up and nodded at her loved ones. She could do this. She had to do this; for her grandpa, for herself and for them.

  Before Dan could step away, Amanda pulled him down so she could reach his ear. ‘Dan, did Kate say I don’t have any staff?’

  There was no time for him to answer as Sabrina yanked open the door and took Amanda with her, so they were both standing on the Benvenuti mat, in front of a crowd of over what had to be over a hundred people lining the street. Amanda couldn’t believe her eyes. Her heart seized with elation, her sadness turned to joy. That was until a light bulb exploded above her head and she sent Sabrina a mock-angry glare, with an eye roll for good measure, before she erupted with laughter. Sabrina didn’t seem to share the same funny bone as her face looked riddled with anxiety. Having no time to comfort or question Sabrina’s nervous expression now, Amanda took a deep breath in, ready to address the crowd.

  ‘Welcome to Torta per Tutti,’ Amanda shouted to a round of applause. Her heart was rattling in her chest with adrenaline and amusement. There were wolf whistles and howls which only encouraged Amanda to address the elephant in the café and what she could only assume was the reason behind the queue of people eager to venture into her café, though she would be blissfully happy and surprised if it were merely their love for Italian delicacies. She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t thought about this before. She loved San Francisco Beat as much, if not more, probably more, than the crowd before her. So, if she could share the limelight with anyone on this day, she felt lucky for it to be them.

  ‘For those of you who would like pictures with San Francisco Beat, can I ask that you remain out front and I will see to it that your dreams come true, before I hope that you will pop inside and treat yourself to a coffee or a delicious cake.’ To Amanda’s surprise it was a fifty-fifty toss between people who swarmed into the café and people that stayed behind on the street. Not bad, she mused. Then she looked up to the heavens, wiped at the stray droplets of tears that had remained with her from before and whispered, ‘Grazie Grandpa,’ before shuffling into the crowd and going in search of Dan.

  She spotted him being ogled at by a group of ladies who had claimed the table near the kitchen doors, where Dan had just come from carrying a tray of sliced lemon and thyme focaccia. Would Dan make it out of today alive? she pondered, as she prepared to throw him to the excited crowd outside. Registering one of the world’s hottest singers carrying a tray of focaccia, Amanda had momentarily forgotten that she was down her front of house staff. She did a quick detour from Dan, checking in with Lauren in the kitchen to see how the more recent bakes were shaping up, but she only managed a few words before Lauren ushered her out of the kitchen and back into the fray with shouts of, ‘I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ve got your Mum on hand.’ So she focused on Dan and her task of satisfying the rowdy crowd outside with the other delicacies the café had on offer; four delicious musicians.

  ‘Hey, my love,’ Dan said when Amanda approached him. She began helping him fill up the tray in the counter with the fresh focaccia.

  ‘Would it be possible for you and the boys to go outside and take a few pictures with a couple of your fans out front?’ she asked, knowing that Dan would always make time for his fans and loving him even more for it.

  ‘No problem. Anything for my number one fan,’ he said, passing her the empty tray and gently grazing her cheek with his thumb as he walked past her. The playful smirk on his face did not go unnoticed. Watching him gather up the boys, Amanda couldn’t even be mad that people had turned up to see them. But she didn’t have time to join in ogling Dan; as he walked through the crowd of people, Levi, James and Dylan in tow, the café was packed and Kate was doing her best to keep up with the coffee demands. Amanda jumped on the till, while mouthing a thank you at Sabrina who was busy herself, carrying plates to tables. Tears threatened again at her family being so quick to swoop in and help her.

  ‘Hi, sorry,’ Amanda said, clearing her throat. ‘Welcome to Torta per Tutti. What can I get for you today?’ The lady in front of her looked to be in her late thirties, her hair was scraped back in a sleek ponytail and her makeup natural and glowing. She had faint bags under her eyes which Amanda attributed to the small children that clung to either side of her legs.

  ‘My father is Italian and talks about home every day. It’s not easy to find true, authentic Italian food around here. I was so excited when I saw on your blog that you were opening a café. I make your recipes for my papa all the time. To actually be able to taste what you have made is an honour,’ the lady said. Amanda’s heart swelled and she felt tears trickle down her cheeks once more. Had she really needed to bother with makeup this morning?

  ‘I’m so sorry to have made you sad. I’m holding up the line, my apologies,’ the lady stammered. Amanda was doing it again, crying in the middle of the café – what had gotten into her today? She waved her hands frantically trying to suppress her emotions and express to the lady that it was no trouble. Finally, she found her voice.

  ‘No, no, I’m sorry, your words, they just touched me that’s all. My grandpa would have been so proud. Thank you so much for coming in today,’ Amanda managed, reaching out and resting her hand over the lady’s.

  The lady then proceeded to order one of every cake in the window, which caused her adorable children’s eyes to grow wide with anticipation. Amanda boxed everything up, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride. ‘Those ones are on the house,’ she whispered as she handed them to the lady. Amanda had a feeling that was exactly what her grandpa would have done.

  Chapter 13

  Pizza Fritta

&nbs
p; Ingredients:

  Pizza dough (see recipe for Grandpa’s pizza)

  Provolone

  Tomato sauce (made fresh, Nanna’s way)

  Salt

  Pepper

  Whatever else you fancy stuffing it with (Grandpa sometimes adds ham, but I like it best when he makes it with spinach and ricotta)

  What to do:

  Follow Grandpa’s lead with the pizza dough.

  Heat up a pan with olive oil, making sure to cover the bottom of the pan with the oil and making it deep enough to cover the pizza fritta.

  When the pizza dough is ready, roll out discs as though you are making a pizza.

  Place a few slices of provolone inside with a few tablespoons of tomato sauce and a sprinkle of salt and pepper.

  Add a second disc over the top and pinch the edges together.

  When oil is piping hot, throw in the pizza fritta. Allow to golden on each side before removing from oil.

  The streetlamp outside flickered to life as the sky slowly lost its light, the sun fading behind the treetops. The open bulbs dangling from the wooden beams on the ceiling lit up Torta per Tutti. Gold glitter bounced off the painted walls and Amanda’s snapshots of Orzoro – the small village on the Amalfi coast with its brave boats bobbing in the water, its market stall owners huddled together to thaw off the December chill, and its fig trees in full bloom at the height of the summer season – were glowing; the bright lights highlighted the wrinkles on the stall owners’ faces, the shadows in the water and the sheer size of the fig leaves, making you want to reach out and step into the photographs. It felt cosy and quaint; it felt like a home away from home, one that Sabrina had no doubt their grandpa was looking down on. She couldn’t have felt prouder of her sister, even if her phone had buzzed at least twenty times in the last hour alone and she hadn’t been able to get to it.

  Only now was Torta per Tutti starting to quiet down enough for her to hear it or acknowledge it. It wasn’t like Sabrina to sit back when people were working around her, but she hadn’t counted on being rushed off her feet today, serving people cappuccinos and pizza fritta. She couldn’t exactly blame her big sister; all had been going rather smoothly until her staff hadn’t turned up and Sabrina and her parents had sprung into action. Even San Francisco Beat had lent a couple of hands, though it was more their faces serving up gorgeous photos than their hands dishing out cannoli that was keeping the customers happy.

  Sabrina had to admit that working together with her family and the success of the café’s first day made her heart hum a happy tune. Having spent the past four years out in LA and missing her fair share of family events, she had been more than thrilled to play a part in it. And a big part of it she had played without actually meaning to. Fans had lined the streets for a chance to meet their idols San Francisco Beat. It had been an impromptu meet and greet and one that she hoped would be beneficial in making people aware of Torta per Tutti, like an unofficial press release for her sister’s café. And it didn’t hurt to have people talking about the boys and sharing their happy pictures on social media. Sabrina much preferred that form of publicity over fake magazine articles and rumours. The boys were always happy to engage with their fans and not one of them had a bad thing to say about them, unlike the media always looking for a story to twist. When it was apparent that the boys would be fine without her, Sabrina had kept her distance and her head down in the café, not wanting to make a scene or be caught hovering around Levi. He hadn’t brought up the plane journey and her decision to not sit next to him, so Sabrina counted herself off the hook. Behind closed doors, life had continued dreamily. Sabrina was taking each day as it came regarding how to navigate her relationship with Levi, and not make it obvious that she was avoiding physical contact when there was a chance they could be papped. Did that make her a terrible girlfriend? She hoped not. She had only the best intentions at heart.

  The last stream of customers exited the café chatting merrily about the lemon cupcakes and mint and sambuca chocolate mousse as Sabrina gathered espresso cups and plates from the table by the window. Picking up the dainty ceramic cups Louisa had sent from Italy, her heart tugged. The day had gotten away with her; she needed to call Louisa back to see how her fashion show had gone this morning. As though her little sister had read her mind, Sabrina’s phone starting ringing once more. She deposited the dirty dishes into the basin behind the counter and caught the call.

  ‘Lou, Lou, I’m so sorry. I’ve been meaning to call. I can’t believe how late it is, how are you? How did everything go?’ Sabrina asked, wiping her hands over her tired eyes and instantly regretting it; wondering if she now resembled a panda.

  ‘It’s okay, I knew you guys would be busy,’ Louisa said in a perky tone as she started regaling the day’s events. ‘Brina, it was magical. I was nervous at first, but seeing my designs on the runway, it gave me such a high. I’m still on a high, or that might just be the amount of cream cake I have consumed and possibly the shots of limoncello too. Luca has had me celebrating all afternoon.’ Sabrina’s shoulders relaxed at the excitement in Louisa’s voice. She wished she could have been in two places at once and witnessed her little sister’s dream coming true today too, but she was so pleased that Luca was making the day special for her.

  ‘That’s amazing Lou, I’m so happy to hear it. Please send me pictures, I would love to see.’

  ‘Of course, I’ll send them over tomorrow. I think Luca was getting snap happy with his camera, he has a ton,’ Louisa chirped. Sabrina’s chest rose with love for both her little sister and for Luca – that he had been there supporting Louisa and taking lots of pictures for her family meant the world to Sabrina. A hiccup came down the phone making Sabrina laugh. Just how many shots of limoncello had her sister indulged in?

  Just then Amanda burst through the kitchen doors. ‘Is that Lou?’ she shouted, her face flushed, her messy bun lopsided and her apron covered in so much flour you could barely read the print.

  Amanda inched closer behind the counter to join Sabrina, while the rest of the family and staff piled out of the kitchen and took to the chairs in the café. They all wore tired eyes, their eyelids fluttering to stay open, but smiles still decorated their lips. It wasn’t even 8 p.m. yet, Sabrina mused; this café business was no joke. After a brief three-way phone call solidifying their sisterhood once more, Sabrina made her way over to Levi. Safe in the confines of the café, away from prying eyes, Sabrina collapsed onto the bench next to him.

  ‘Are you alright there, boss?’ Dylan’s voice caused Sabrina’s eyes to fly open and she sat up, brushing her sandy waves out of her eyes. She had been close to drifting off, having still not mastered the art of coping with jetlag like the boys had and Levi’s chest being as comfortable as a pillow.

  ‘Yes, sorry,’ she mumbled, wiping her eyes and cursing herself under her breath again. Mascara Sabrina, remember you’re wearing mascara. It wasn’t like Sabrina had never worn makeup before. Her years in the music industry had taught her how to wing out her eyeliner and to always use a setting powder when under the spotlights, but she much preferred a more natural look. The pressure for women to look glamourous every minute of the day in her industry was not something she cared to partake in. She wasn’t opposed to going all out for special events, but that was if she wanted to. This attitude had been tested many times over the years, but she had been strict with herself; she feared if she let them get to her and added a little more to her makeup routine each morning, each dab of concealer and extra pat of foundation would lead her down a dangerous path of losing herself. ‘What a crazy day,’ she added, resigning herself to looking like a panda as she pulled at her eyelashes trying to keep her eyes awake.

  ‘This place is awesome,’ James noted, looking around, which received smiles and nods from the crew. Amanda brought out a tray of espressos and the day’s leftover biscotti and bread. Sabrina was pleased to note that there wasn’t a whole lot of leftovers, but she couldn’t wait to dive into the biscotti that ha
d been teasing her all day.

  ‘Salute to a successful opening day, baby girl,’ Dan announced to everyone raising their espresso cups and or piece of bread. Sabrina chuckled at the Italian scene.

  ‘Thank you all for helping me and saving the day,’ Amanda nodded. Sabrina could see her sister battling the adrenaline coursing through her veins and the exhaustion from having woken at three in the morning. She admired that tomorrow she would do it all over again.

  Taking a bite out of a chocolate chip biscotti, Sabrina reveled in its crunchy goodness as her phone pinged with an email. Her heart began to spasm as she read Keira’s words in black and white. She handed the rest of her biscotti to Levi, suddenly not feeling so hungry.

  *

  Sabrina pulled back the thick blush duvet on the bed in Nanna and Grandpa’s spare room. When getting ready to return to the UK, Sabrina had spoken with Nanna, who had asked if Sabrina would care to stay at the house and ensure its upkeep. Mum had been popping in since Christmas to see to the post and make sure that the place was clean, but Nanna had shared her wish that it would make her happy should her granddaughter wish to fill the house with the love that it was once brimming with. At first Sabrina had felt some trepidation, unsure as to whether she would be able to handle living in the place they had lost their grandpa. Yet the minute she had walked into the house she had felt comforted by the scent of her grandparents.