Prima

by Alta Hensley

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Olga said, her voice stronger than it had been earlier. “I’ve lived far too long to allow any man to frighten me away from my… from our home. You are much stronger than you were four years ago, and you still managed to walk away. And, this time, you aren’t alone.”

  “I love you with all my heart, but I’m not going to let you put yourself in any danger because of—”

  “I’m not talking about me, child, I’m talking about the man who has won your heart.”

  Inside I was already shaking my head before she even finished speaking. No way in hell was I going to let Alek dip a single toe in the swirling cauldron of Nikolai’s evil brew. Alek was a good man. He might have a kinky, dirty side, but his heart was as pure as the driven snow, and I fully intended to keep it that way. Still, I didn’t want to get into an argument with my babushka.

  “Perhaps I’m overreacting. After all, Nikolai left when I asked him to. Perhaps he’s reconsidered his life and…”

  “And perhaps he blows rainbows out his arse,” Olga said, rolling her eyes. “Dorogoy, leopards don’t change their spots.”

  I couldn’t help it. I mean, who wouldn’t laugh when an eighty-five-year-old woman went from farty rainbows to dangerous leopards in a heartbeat? Judy was smiling as well, and I decided this was a great place to declare intermission.

  “All right, but for now, let’s talk about something else. Tell me, exactly what the doctor said.” Returning to the footstool, I poured us all another cup of tea and listened while Baba and Judy told of how my grandmother’s tests had shown she qualified to enter the latest drug trials which could help her find relief from the crippling pain of her arthritis.

  “That’s the best news I’ve heard in forever,” I said happily, meaning every word.

  The plans I’d made earlier had instantly been nixed with Nikolai’s presence, but suddenly I knew that was the worst thing I could do. I’d spent years cowering in fear of what the man might do… perhaps because I knew what he could and would do. But, like my grandmother said, I’d changed. I was stronger now. If push came to shove, I wasn’t going to walk away this time. I was going to fight.

  Standing up, I clapped my hands. “We’re going out to celebrate.”

  “Celebrate?”

  “Yes, celebrate,” I said firmly. “You’re going to be a star patient in this clinical trial, and we’re going out to celebrate the gifts we have been given.”

  “Well, when you put it that way,” Olga said, sounding a bit unsure though her eyes instantly brightened and she sat up straighter in her chair. “Where are we going?”

  “I’m taking you to dinner, but first I thought you might like to see Volkov Ballet.” I grinned, knowing how much she loved ballet and all that surrounded it. “See where I run off to every day, and afterward I’ll take you to Johnny Reds.” Sure, it might not be the fanciest or most expensive restaurant around, but it was my babushka’s favorite, so I was more than happy to treat her to something special.

  “That sounds wonderful.” Olga smiled happily. “Thank you.”

  I turned to Judy. “Please, come with us.”

  “I’d love to, but I have my book club this evening,” she said.

  I might have thought it was just an excuse and perhaps she was already beginning to distance herself from us, and I certainly wouldn’t blame her. However, I knew she and my grandmother often spent hours discussing the various books they’d read, both bibliophiles to the core.

  “Perhaps next time?” I offered.

  “I’ll look forward to it,” Judy said, bending to give my grandmother a gentle hug. “Have fun and don’t overdo it,” she said with a soft smile. Turning to me, she shifted her eyes toward the kitchen even as she lifted the tray.

  “I’ll be right back to help you get ready, Baba,” I said and followed Judy. Once we were alone, her expression shifted to one of concern.

  “Please, stay safe, and, even though you don’t think it will do any good, call the police. Get it on record that man threatened you.” When I opened my mouth, she shook her head and her finger at me. “Don’t bother denying it, Clara. I’ve worked with enough clients to know when someone has been frightened.”

  I nodded, thinking perhaps I truly wasn’t alone this time. “All right, but if at any time, you feel the need to—”

  “I’m not going anywhere as I abhor people who think they have the right to hurt others, but, there are steps that can be taken to at least start a process that might… just might save someone’s life. At least think about it.”

  “I will and thank you for all you’ve done for my grandmother. It really is great news that she was accepted into the program.”

  “It is,” Judy agreed. “I have a feeling this drug is very promising. Let’s pray she gets it and not the placebo.”

  Nodding, I returned the hug she impulsively gave me before grabbing her purse off the counter and going out the back door. I waited until I saw her safely get into her car and drive away and then clicked the lock. Something I’d not done in quite a while when at home. Looking down at the little button, I sighed. I had a feeling it was but the first of the changes necessary since Nikolai had reentered my life.

  22

  Clara

  As we drove toward the theater, I made sure the conversation centered around ballet and on nothing to do with the dark shadows in my life. Baba chattered about her favorite performances in the past, bringing them alive with snippets of gossip about those who danced alongside her.

  “I swear, it was only because his maman was constantly lighting candles that she earned herself a miracle, otherwise, her precious boy would have dropped me instead of simply stumbling and splitting the crotch of his tights. Let me tell you, that was quite the sight. Imagine a man actually stuffing a pair of rolled up stockings into his tights.”

  I laughed and flicked on my turn signal as I neared our destination. “Perhaps he was trying to impress you, Baba.”

  “Oh, like I wouldn’t start asking questions if he got naked and I discovered the truth?” she said, rolling her eyes. “And speaking of men, how is that good-looking man of yours?”

  I looked over and shook my head. “I’m not about to discuss my sex life with you.”

  “Now, did I say a single word about sex?” she asked in faux innocence. “All I was wondering was if he’ll be joining us on our tour.”

  “Considering he doesn’t even know we are taking a tour, I have no idea,” I said, pulling into the lot behind the theater and shutting off the ignition. Turning to face her, I said, “Baba, I don’t want you to say anything to Alek about… about Nikolai if we do run into him.” Rushing ahead when she opened her mouth, I clarified, “I’ll tell him what he needs to know, but please, honor my wishes in this. I want us to enjoy our day. I know leopards remain spotty, but, for now, I’d like to consider that perhaps Nikolai has become a chameleon and has learned to change his colors at the very least. Okay?”

  She didn’t speak or move for a few long heartbeats and then reached up and touched my face. “Fine, but you really need to learn to trust, Clara. This isn’t a burden you have to carry alone.”

  “I’m working on it,” I assured her, unsnapping both our seatbelts and then getting out of the car and moving around to help her out as well. When she stood at my side, my arm around her tiny waist, I gestured up at the building before us.

  “Welcome to the Volkov Ballet. Are you ready to go inside?”

  “Are you sure we can?” she asked, sounding a little unsure. “It looks locked up.”

  “People are always here, Baba. There’s always someone around. We’ll be fine getting in.”

  As we walked slowly through the hallways, with me showing Baba some of the posters hanging on the walls of performances that Volkov Ballet had done before I joined the theater, I soon heard the voices of Bella and a new member who recently joined the theater as they approached us. Seeing Bella or anyone no longer filled me with the anxiety it once ha
d. Most of the other dancers and I now had a quiet respect for one another. All the angst was gone for the most part. I was proving myself with my hard work and obvious show of dedication to a craft we all loved.

  After a brief introduction to my grandmother, I asked them if Yuri was around because I was really not in the mood for his pompous attitude right now — with my babushka witnessing it. I hated the fact he was so difficult to read. You never knew where you stood with him either. I also wanted to avoid him because of what had happened with me and Alek. Sure, I hadn’t promised Yuri I would keep away from his brother, but I feared it would affect my place in the theater if he ever found out how opposite of “keeping far away” from each other we were. I didn’t think Alek would ever burst out and tell Yuri, but I had to be careful all the same.

  “No, Yuri’s not here. Alek is in the office though.”

  At first, my head snapped toward Bella, wondering if she was saying that in a suggestive way, telling me that she knew something. But there was a complete blankness to her expression. She was just telling me like it was, and there was no hidden meaning in her words.

  “Okay, thanks, I’ll see you later,” I said with a nod, guiding my grandmother away from them both.

  “Isn’t that the woman who was so ugly to you when you joined the theater?” Baba asked with her damn laser-sharp focus, reminding me that while her body might be failing, her mind was as sharp as it had ever been.

  “Yes, but she’s changed.” Smiling over at her, I added, “Or I suppose we both have. You and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but it’s all good, I promise.”

  Of course, that was a fib. It had stopped being all good the moment a silver car appeared in Chicago.

  She nodded though I wasn’t stupid enough to think she couldn’t see through the little white lie but was grateful she didn’t push it. “That’s good. Now, let’s find your Alek so I can thank him for the Pavlova.”

  I smiled and nodded. I was a bit leery about seeing Alek, mostly because I didn’t want to complicate things further and didn’t completely trust myself not to spill my guts again, but I couldn’t turn down my babushka. Not when she was looking at me so expectantly.

  “Fine,” I said. “But let’s make it quick. I’m sure he’s busy working.”

  My heart pounded wildly as we walked toward his office. Suddenly, I was acutely aware the last time I’d been in Alek’s office, he’d mentioned how tense I looked, picked me up, and plopped me down on his desk. While I protested I was fine and needed to get back to practice, my heart pounding with the possibility of Yuri walking through the door, Alek had reached beneath my baggy sweatshirt, hooked his fingers into the waistband of my leggings, and yanked them down, dragging my panties with them. Once they were tangled at my ankles, he’d dropped to his knees, hooked my legs over his head, and dragged my ass to the edge of the desk.

  “Just us,” he said, looking up at me, reminding me that when we were together, we were in our own world.

  “Just you and me,” I said, nodding in agreement and then threw my head back when he grinned and dove right in to take away any shred of stress I might have. He’d lifted me off his desk and laughed as he peeled a piece of paper off my ass that was quite soaked from the copious cream he’d drawn from me with the multiple orgasms his very talented tongue and fingers had pulled from me. I’d blushed, limp as an overcooked noodle.

  I tapped lightly on his door, wondering exactly how long the scent of sex lingered in the air and hoping he wouldn’t be mad about me disturbing his day unannounced with a surprise visit from my grandmother. Although, realistically, I already knew he wasn’t like that and would be polite and welcoming even if I escorted the devil himself inside.

  “Come in,” he called out in a tone that instantly caused the butterflies in my stomach to settle and my blood pressure to lower. I didn’t know why I always got myself so nervous around him when I was aware he had such a calming effect on me.

  “Oh, hi there, Clara.” He grinned from ear to ear as I entered. He was on his feet and striding toward us before we’d even crossed the threshold. “It’s so nice of you to visit, Babka,” he said, taking her hand and lifting it to his lips for a light kiss. He then did exactly what he’d done in my house, slipping his arm around her waist and guiding her to a chair. “What did I do to earn the pleasure of your company?”

  “Hello, Alek,” Olga said, giving his hand a pat after she was settled in the chair. “I could say I asked Clara to bring me so I could thank you for that incredible Pavlova, but I see you’ve already received my card.”

  A gesture of her head had my attention swiveling to the credenza behind his desk where a card was propped up. The first thing that popped into my head was how sweet it was that she’d sent it. Who actually still sent thank-you cards via snail mail in the world of electronic email? The second thing was the question of if that card had witnessed the recipient of such thanks getting quite down and dirty with her beloved granddaughter.

  “I did, and it was very thoughtful of you,” Alek said as I moved to sit in the open chair.

  Before I could drop down into it, Alek, snagged me and gave me a light kiss, giving me a wink as if he could read my mind. I could feel my face heating as I said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought I’d give Baba a tour of the theater.”

  “I don’t mind at all,” he said, returning his attention to my grandmother. “It is an honor to have you here. Even if Clara hadn’t told me you are a former star of the ballet, I can see the love of the art in your eyes.”

  “It’s always held a special place in my heart,” Olga admitted, looking toward the painting on his wall. “I saw your mother perform once and never will forget the way she transported everyone in the audience with her on an incredible journey. She was not only a fabulous dancer, she had this gift that couldn’t be learned. It was an integral part of her soul. I’m so sorry her star was dimmed far too soon.”

  “Thank you,” Alek said, also looking toward the painting. “Your granddaughter also has that gift.”

  “She does,” my babushka replied, and I flushed with warmth though I knew she might be slightly biased because she loved me unconditionally.

  I saw her flick her gaze from Alek to me and then back again. The look in her eyes told me that while she detested the last man who’d been in her presence, she completely approved of Alek. She was probably picturing our wedding, already naming our children.

  As if to confirm this, she settled back in her chair, folded her hands on her lap and said, “So, Alek, tell me more about where you think our girl is going with all this hard work she’s been putting in. Getting any information from her is like pulling her teeth. What do you think?”

  Alek chuckled but didn’t correct her on the phrasing of the idiom. He was far too polite a man to do so. Instead, he settled his hip against the desk where he’d splayed me bare and fell into conversation with my grandmother.

  While they talked about ballet in general, as well as my chances at reclaiming the title of prima ballerina, I sat back in my chair with a smile on my face. This was the sort of thing I’d always wanted in my life. A strong family around me. I had only ever really had my grandmother as she’d lost her husband in the Soviet-Afghan war before I was born. My father had never been in the picture and because of that, I wanted more for myself. I wanted a husband who loved my grandmother, kids running around the place, noise, chaos, and fun. Much as I had tried not to think too much about that picture of perfection for a very long time, it was floating back to the surface right now, with Alek at the front and center of that dream.

  Of course, that vision had dimmed significantly with the appearance of a ghost from my past.

  Ghost? No, Clara, a ghost might haunt your nightmares, but you awaken. Don’t attempt to fool yourself into thinking Nikolai isn’t flesh and blood.

  As much as I hated it, the voice was right. What the hell had I been thinking? I couldn’t even begin to imagine a true future with Alek when I
had yet to truly be free of a past that could destroy every dream I had. For all I knew, there was a shiny silver car outside, the driver watching… waiting for the right moment to swoop in and teach me another lesson.

  “We better get going.” When both of them turned to me, I realized my words had come out far more clipped and desperate sounding than I’d meant. “I’m sorry, it’s just that it’s Friday night, and you know how crowded Johnny Reds will be…”

  Thankfully, my grandmother saved me from making a complete fool of myself. Smiling, she looked up at Alek. “My granddaughter is taking me out for dinner. Not going to miss a chance at stuffing myself on their famous cheddar biscuits. They aren’t anywhere near as good as your Pavlova, but they are a close second. It was lovely to see you again, Alek.”

  “The pleasure is all mine, Babka. Next time, I hope you can stay longer. I’d love to show you the rest of the theater,” Alek said, straightening and offering her his arm.

  I watched, my heart actually hurting when I saw my fragile grandmother take it and slowly pull herself up out of the chair, but it also filled me with even more determination. She’d suffered enough and had carried burdens she didn’t deserve because of me. If it took my last breath, I was going to make damn sure Nikolai didn’t ruin the chance of my grandmother finally getting relief from her pain.

  23

  Clara

  I’d like to say I didn’t look for a flash of sun against silver as we drove to the restaurant, but I’d be a liar. My gaze kept flicking from the rearview mirror to those on the sides of my car as I navigated the streets of Chicago.