It seemed Irina had not heard a single word he had spoken when she naively exclaimed, “If Papa is not agreeable, I will run off with you to Persia. I would rather be with the one I love in a foreign land than with one I do not love in my own country! If Papa disagrees, I will talk to the tsar myself because I know he would understand. Even if he forbids it, I will be ready on the eve of your return to Persia to accompany you. You would not leave me behind, would you?”
Nasrosoltan pleaded with her, “My dear, you must control your emotions and contain this talk of eloping!”
Concerned that Irina’s emotions could spin the situation out of control, he gently reminded her, “We must not act impulsively, for only one misstep can lead to an unfortunate end to our hope of everlasting love.
“Please, my dear, have faith and allow me to present my case to the grand duke if he grants me a private audience. If anyone hears you speaking this way now, we will never even have that chance.”
Irina relented and took comfort in the words he spoke, agreeing to not talk of these things until his hoped-for audience with her father. As Irina leaned in and placed her head on Nasrosoltan’s shoulder, she confided, “I have faith in you, and I believe with all my heart that you will find a way to secure our happiness. You have locked me inside your love. I will pray every day from now until then that Papa’s heart softens so that he does not resist the words you speak to him.”
Irina then smiled as she thought about what she was going to say next, advising Nasrosoltan, “You know, this past Sunday, our priest gave a sermon at church, and he said something unusual. He noted that the same sun that can melt wax can also harden clay.
“So, my love, for our sake, please choose your words carefully when speaking with Papa, for like the sun, the appropriate words can also soften the hardest heart, but misplaced words may unexpectedly harden it further.”
Nana’s footsteps in the distance alerted them to her imminent presence. They physically separated per their now-perfected routine of acting as if they had been immersed in the music lesson the whole time. Nana, recognizing that this would be Nasrosoltan’s final lesson at the palace, had asked the cook to prepare a special Russian teacake for him and Irina to enjoy with their afternoon tea. Today, they did not mind Nana spending a few minutes with them making small talk.
After Nana left them, Nasrosoltan quietly reminded Irina to not mention anything to anyone. Irina agreed by placing her forefinger to her lips as a sign of her vow of silence.
The next day, Nasrosoltan visited Madame Lazar to invite her to his performance, scheduled for the following week. While there, he noticed her injured hand had improved significantly, as she demonstrated to him she could now play the piano once more. Thankfully, it seemed there would be no permanent damage to her hand or her career from the child’s bite.
Madame Lazar thanked him. “I have enjoyed your presence here and will remember our many conversations fondly. I am also eager to return to the palace to continue lessons with the princess. Thank you for all you have done, kind Monsieur. I feel enormously proud to have introduced you to the esteemed family of Grand Duke Alexander Mikhailovich.”
Nasrosoltan appreciated her words and thanked Madame Lazar for introducing him to the royal family. And in his heart, he silently thanked her for the referral to the woman he now loved.
But Nasrosoltan’s deepest gratitude was reserved for his departed friend. If Rustam had not introduced him to the gaming house, Nasrosoltan would have never agreed to tutor in the first place. He found it comical how enraged he was the night he lost his wager while cursing the roulette ball and the unfortunate turn of the wheel. But now, Nasrosoltan saw that turn as a fortunate one.
On the day of his public performance, Nasrosoltan was unusually nervous, eager for the examination to begin. Today, his angst was even more pronounced due to the presence of Irina and her family in the audience. Of the five pianists who were to perform, Nasrosoltan was scheduled last, having to sit through the other recitals before his turn. Nothing can disturb a musician’s nerves more than hearing a lack of enthusiasm from the attendees for a performance, which may portend a coldly critical audience.
There was warm applause but no ovation for the first performer, which may have been due to a hint of tiredness, a lack of punch in the artist’s playing. But with each successive soloist taking the stage, the crowd began to appreciate the music more deeply, and the responding applause for each performer grew louder and longer.
Finally, it was Nasrosoltan’s turn, and he recognized that it had been a blessing rather than a curse to have been last, as now the audience was more expressive and energetic. As he made his way to the piano, Nasrosoltan noticed Irina and the grand duke and duchess in the front row, eagerly awaiting his performance. Of all those waiting to hear him perform, there were only two people he truly wished to impress: his professor, Glazunov, and Irina, for this work was his gift to her, an offering that only she knew of.
As he bowed to the audience, his eyes met Irina’s. Nasrosoltan felt a moment of panic that perhaps all could witness his deep connection with her. However, he quickly collected himself and sat down at the piano, and then began to play. Once his fingers touched the keys, he became one with the instrument. Nasrosoltan poured his whole being into his performance, playing the piece with rhythmic energy and dynamic verve. The audience sat in silence, spellbound as the notes touched their willful ears. Princess Irina was thrilled at hearing her gift being unveiled for her one note at a time.
When Nasrosoltan finally finished, he was spent, having mustered all his energy and concentration into playing this piece. At first, he heard no response from the audience. Nasrosoltan suddenly worried that perhaps he had not delivered the impassioned performance he had hoped for. But to his immediate relief, just as he got up to take a bow, he was greeted with more-than-enthusiastic applause and even several shouts of bravo from the crowd. Nasrosoltan was finally able to look toward Irina with a triumphant gaze, and she seemed totally mesmerized by the work he had dedicated and performed for her.
The grand duke and duchess graciously waited for Nasrosoltan to congratulate him. They were speaking with Director Glazunov as he came off the stage and approached them. Nasrosoltan could see on Glazunov’s face that he was pleased with the results of the examination. Glazunov shook his hand, saying, “Monsieur Minbashian, you truly emptied your heart into your performance today. As music composition is the hardest and most noble thing a musician can do, surely you must have had a special inspiration for creating this piece. I wish to congratulate you!”
Nasrosoltan had finally achieved what he had wished for when he came to St. Petersburg, but this was not the most important thing for him any longer. He now believed his coming to this enchanted capital city had not been for success in his musical career, but instead for this great journey of love Hafez had foreseen years earlier.
Nasrosoltan quickly approached the grand duke and requested a private audience to discuss a personal matter before returning to Persia. The grand duke readily agreed and said, “I will have my personal secretary contact you in the next few days, once he consults my schedule.”
Nasrosoltan thanked him and the grand duchess for coming to his performance. He paid similar respects to Irina, who was still beaming from his secret gift to her. However, Irina seemed even more excited to see Nasrosoltan had secured the audience with her father that she had been praying for.
Chapter 26
A Change of Plan
Irina spent most of that evening humming the melody of Nasrosoltan’s work, trying to recreate it while sitting at her piano. She thought to herself, Once we can spend more time together, I will surely ask him to teach me how to play it.
She fantasized about their future together and how Nasrosoltan would do all he could to protect and provide for her. She believed with all her heart that it was God’s will, confident that their love story was meant to be.
Irina retired to her room and wrote in her diary
, jotting down the nuances of her thoughts of the past few days. She spent the rest of her waking hours that evening praying for a miracle, that Nasrosoltan could convince her father they should be together. During her prayers, she also asked God for strength and faith to do whatever necessary if her father refused.
Early the next day, Nasrosoltan received word via courier that an audience had been scheduled for Wednesday of the following week. This was just a few days before his planned departure to Persia.
Nasrosoltan was eager and excited, albeit nervous. As Irina had reminded him, he practiced delivering, without stutter or stammer, soft words to attain the desired result of unlocking any hardness in the grand duke’s heart. Nasrosoltan was a meticulous man and did not want to leave anything to chance. He knew this conversation with the grand duke would be the most crucial discussion of his entire life, not to mention the most difficult.
In his mind’s eye, Nasrosoltan visualized sitting with the grand duke in his study, drinking as they had done numerous times. He rehearsed how he would thank Grand Duke Alexander for the courtesy shown to him during his visits to the palace. Nasrosoltan planned that he would gradually direct the discussion toward Irina’s progress in playing the piano and how it had been an honor for him to have served their distinguished family in this fashion. Then, if he could garner enough courage to express his true feelings for the princess, Nasrosoltan would do so sincerely and honestly, hoping his words would not fall on deaf ears.
Nasrosoltan knew it would not be an easy task, for Irina’s family did not assume him to be a part of her sphere of life. He was not expecting this to be a pleasant conversation but also knew that he would never forgive himself if he did not try to fulfill his impossible dream. He believed a lifetime of unhappiness would be too much to bear, but most of all, he did not want to be a lover solely content with longing.
Meanwhile, Irina had heard that Nasrosoltan was expected at the palace to meet with her father and was ecstatic. With great excitement, she wrote in her diary, I believe that will be the day all matters will be settled, and my happiness assured!
As Irina read over what she had written, Nana knocked on her bedroom door, asking permission to enter, so Irina hastily hid her diary behind a pillow. When Nana entered the bedroom, she noticed Irina’s unbridled joy and inquired, “My dear Princess Irina Alexandrovna, you seem quite jubilant; share with me the source of your excitement.”
Unbeknownst to Irina, Nana had heard the rumor of the recent Yusupov proposal and was hoping to elicit confirmation of the news directly from her. Irina replied, “It is really nothing, dear Nana. I am simply happy today; is it such a surprise to see me in this state?”
Nana replied, “No, my dear Irina Alexandrovna, not at all; it is just that recently you have been within yourself, as if you have much on your mind, but today you seem so free of all concerns. I thought perhaps it is because of—” and then she caught herself mid-sentence, realizing that the princess may not yet know of the negotiations.
Irina, who suddenly worried that her secret was out, demanded, “Because of what?”
Nana became nervous at her own ill-timed comment and responded with added formality, “Nothing, Your Serene Highness, it is not my place to say. Please forgive my insolence; I momentarily forgot myself. I am happy that Her Serene Highness is so joyful without reason. This is a blessed thing!”
Irina started to panic and sensed Nana was trying to cover up something she was not supposed to have mentioned. The princess wondered whether Nana had somehow found out about her plans with Nasrosoltan, and she pressed on, insisting, “Nana, you have to tell me what you were going to say!”
Nana, who was not expecting Irina’s overreaction to the words she had just casually spoken, offered the princess profuse apologies for disturbing her peace.
Irina, now sullen, grabbed Nana’s arm and, holding back tears, begged her, “Nadezhda Nazarov, please tell me!”
Nana, feeling terrible that she had ruined Irina’s mood by unintentionally turning it from joyous celebration to sadness, finally relented. “Dear Princess Irina Alexandrovna, please promise that you will not repeat to the grand duchess what I am about to tell you. If she thinks I have offered information that should have been kept private, no doubt, I will be severely reprimanded!”
After Irina promised her, Nana reluctantly divulged, “I have heard a rumor that Prince Felix Yusupov has asked for the two of you to be engaged. That was why I assumed you were so happy. I thought you had heard the news and were agreeable to the offer with such a noble gentleman.”
Irina, suddenly realizing that her secret was still safe, felt relieved and let out a laugh, adding, “Oh, so this was the precious information you were guarding with your life? Do not worry; I will not let Mama know you have revealed this mystery to me. You know I am not a child anymore; I really do not understand why my parents feel the need to keep such things from me. I am old enough now to decide for myself issues that will affect my entire future and happiness!”
Then, as if nothing had happened, Irina regained her joyful demeanor and left her bedroom, telling Nana, “I am going to the music room to play the piano,” leaving her perplexed governess to tidy up. Nana was surprised that Princess Irina did not spend even a moment brooding, as she usually would have, upon hearing something that displeased her.
The next afternoon, Nasrosoltan received another note from the palace. The request was to reschedule his private audience to an earlier date, Friday evening, rather than the planned Wednesday afternoon of the following week. The note asked for him to respond with the same courier who delivered the message. It surprised him that the grand duke wanted to see him sooner than initially planned, and in the evening instead of the afternoon. But he surmised the family wanted him to dine with them, which he took as a good omen in anticipation of his conversation with the grand duke. He was delighted to see Irina sooner than he had thought and began to rehearse his address to the grand duke now that time was of the essence.
Nasrosoltan wanted to appear with elegance in attire and poise and to speak from his heart with humility. He diligently read Hafez and Rumi to learn how to talk about love with wit and pleasantry but without blemish. Nasrosoltan desperately needed to convince the unconvinced and persuade the unpersuadable. And to give him strength and confidence, he repeatedly read Irina’s handwritten note about love, how love always hopes, always perseveres, and never fails.
On Friday, when Nasrosoltan and Irina’s fate was to be decided, he hired an impressive carriage and set off to the palace for the last time. As a parting gift for the grand duke, he brought along a French-language translation of the Divan of Hafez, recalling the grand duke’s interest in the poems of this famous sonneteer of Shiraz.
As the carriage approached the gates, Nasrosoltan noticed an unusual number of guards, reminding him of the dinner when the tsar was present. It surprised him to see such security measures in place, and he suddenly worried that the grand duke had other guests, which would deprive him of the opportunity to meet in private.
Nasrosoltan was unnerved at the thought that this night may pass with no resolution to his petition. Mired in anxiety, he wondered if he would ever get such a chance again before his return to Persia.
Chapter 27
A Forbidden Love
“Love is fearless in the midst of the sea of fear”— Rumi
As Nasrosoltan entered the palace, the butler standing at the front entrance waved to the guards to let him through. Nasrosoltan asked the man if the grand duke was waiting for him in the study.
The butler replied, “No, Monsieur, the family is in the reception room. They have been expecting you.”
Nasrosoltan was surprised to hear this and asked, “You mean to say the whole family was awaiting my arrival?”
The butler announced, “Yes, Monsieur, His Imperial Majesty Tsar Nicholas is in attendance!” He then opened the massive doors leading to the room, and Nasrosoltan witnessed a totally unexpected and most terri
fying scene, one he was not prepared for.
Irina sat at the foot of the tsar’s chair, sobbing uncontrollably, looking disheveled and in a state of utter distress. The grand duke and duchess were seated on each side of the tsar with their steely-eyed gazes fixed on Nasrosoltan. He immediately realized that they had become aware of his relationship with Irina and were outraged at what they knew.
Nasrosoltan saw his whole life flash before his eyes, thinking upon each step of the disastrous net he had entangled himself in, and he feared the punishment that was to come. But mostly, he felt deep suffering, witnessing his love in such a state of disillusion, while he seemed helpless to do anything about it.
Nasrosoltan waited in stunned silence for someone to speak, for somebody to begin the reprimand, as he wondered why Irina had let the secret out. He questioned why she had not heeded his appeal to wait for a chance to discuss the matter face-to-face with the grand duke.
Suddenly, it became clear to him why the date and time of the audience had been rescheduled. This was the last Friday of the month when the tsar regularly visited his sister at their residence for dinner. Whatever message the grand duke and duchess wished to relay to Nasrosoltan and Irina, they wanted it to come from the tsar himself, which alarmed him even more.
The tsar, who was wholly irritated and offended, finally spoke with a disdainful tone. “Monsieur, we are all extremely disappointed that you would take advantage of your position and our welcome into this household to mislead our dear Princess Irina Alexandrovna. You have offered her worthless promises of affection to the point that she has told us she wishes to elope with you to Persia!
“This is utter nonsense, to steal away a princess of the Romanovs without a word to anyone—this is truly preposterous. How dare you, Monsieur? You are lucky you are leaving back to your country in a few days, or else I would have had you banished. The grand duke employed you in a responsible position, and we put our confidence in you to carry out your duties with honor and as a gentleman. However, you have betrayed our trust. This is unacceptable behavior. You should be ashamed of your actions and denounced!”
A Hundred Sweet Promises Page 21