The housekeeper was eyeing her strangely. Cassy needed privacy to read the note from Nasir. She couldn’t read it with an audience.
“Thank you for the coffee,” Cassy said, pulling herself up and trying to feign dignity and professionalism. She set the cup of coffee carefully onto the countertop as she tried to pretend that her heart wasn’t shattering into tiny, battered pieces. With the note still in her hand, she blinked hard, not wanting to cry where she could be seen. Cassy didn’t want anyone to know how much she hurt. So she pasted a smile on her face and headed for the hallway. “I’ll just see myself out.”
The housekeeper shook her head. “The driver is standing by to take you to the airport, Ms. Flemming,” she called out.
Cassy only smiled slightly and turned back to the front door. She grabbed her tote bag, not sure what she should be doing at this particular moment. She’d never had a lover before, so she wasn’t sure how to take such a blatant and abrupt rejection. An outright dismissal. She stuffed the envelope into her big bag, unable to read the note. It wouldn’t help anyway. Nasir wasn’t here. He’d left a note for her! A note! Of all the pathetic, horrible…shaking her head, she swung her bag over her shoulder and pulled open the front door.
Walking out, she smiled tightly at the driver who immediately jumped up and came around to open the limousine door. But Cassy wasn’t interested in more of Nasir’s patronizing generosity. She wouldn’t eat anything for breakfast because it would be one more thing that he was trying to give her and she didn’t want a ride to the airport. He’d left her.
Walking past the confused driver, she headed down the driveway, intending to catch a cab to the airport and then get on the next flight back to London. After that…well, she wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. She could only think about getting home. She needed…she needed Ella and Naya. She needed her friends, people who would understand and wouldn’t judge. Cassy knew with absolute certainty that they would drop everything and head over to her tiny apartment with several bottles of wine and an extra-large pizza. If several cartons of chocolate chunk ice cream were included in tonight’s binge, all the better.
So she focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Walking. Breathing. That was all she could do at this particular moment.
“Ms. Flemming?” the driver called out uncertainly. “I’m here to drive you to the airport whenever you are ready to leave. The pilot is standing by as well.”
Cassy couldn’t speak. She didn’t care who was standing by. She tried to form the words, but instead, she barely got out a brief smile as she walked down the driveway. Thankfully, it didn’t take long before she reached the busy street. There, she lifted her hand and a cab driver screeched to a halt at the curb. Ducking inside, she ignored the strange look of Nasir’s driver since he’d followed her down the street. Apparently, no one had ever rejected a ride, she thought. Three days ago, she would have found humor in that. But right now, she couldn’t laugh. It was taking all of her energy to keep her head held high.
At the airport, she was able to get a flight that would take off in a couple hours. It took her less than thirty minutes to get through security and find her gate and then she just sat there, staring blankly. She didn’t notice the other people hurrying to their gates, didn’t see the security personnel or the other airport employees as they went about their business. When her flight was called, she waited in the long line, found her assigned seat and stared at the chair in front of her. She refused to remember the large, leather chairs on the private plane on the way over to London. Or how she could stretch her legs out, the way the seat reclined so that she was basically in a bed while she flew across the Atlantic.
The flight back to London was dramatically different than her flight to Zurich. Economy seats were cramped, didn’t recline, and she didn’t bother to buy the calorie and salt laden boxed meals that were offered. She didn’t even see the strange looks from the flight attendants when she rejected drink offerings. She just stared, her mind and body in too much pain to cope.
Landing at Heathrow Airport, she hailed a cab and gave her address to the driver. Thankfully, it was Friday and she could spend the rest of the weekend in bed. By Monday, she would feel better. Monday, she would report to work and explain the extended time spent on an assignment that should have taken one day. She’d probably have to resign because she’d slept with a client.
But right now, she didn’t care. All she wanted right now was to crawl into bed and sleep.
Chapter 6
“Is she dead?” Ella asked.
Naya looked down at her friend, a worried expression on her features. “I hope not. She’s the only one that can teach me that move in Zumba class.”
Ella laughed, but they were both worried about Cassy who hadn’t emerged from her bed all weekend.
“Honey,” Ella said, sitting down next to the lump underneath the covers on Cassy’s bed. She laid her hand on what she suspected was Cassy’s hip. “Sweetie, you gotta tell us what’s going on. We’re worried.”
A very pregnant Naya sat down on the other side of the bed. “Obviously something happened in Switzerland. Can you tell us what?”
Cassy groaned from underneath the sheets. Her friends had arrived on Saturday morning and they weren’t going away. She’d told them to leave her alone several times now, but they simply brainstormed various possibilities as to what might be wrong. And since they were both sitting on her bed, she couldn’t get away. She was surrounded.
Finally, she couldn’t take listening to their silly chatter any longer. With a sigh, Cassy conceded that she should just tell them what had happened. They’d be equally horrified, make some sort of excuse to leave her alone, and then she’d deal with her misery all by herself.
Flinging back the covers, she refused to look at either of her soon-to-be-disgusted-best-friends and kept her eyes on the ceiling. “I was sent over to Zurich to handle the transference of a piece of property for my law firm’s client. He was the one I told you about last week?” When she felt them nod, she continued. “Well, he was…” she couldn’t finish that story, blinking back irritating and pointless tears. “Anyway, I fell for him. Hard. And we had sex.” She cringed at the words, thinking she was the worst person in the world for having had sex with a client. It was an inviolable rule! Surely her friends would understand how badly she’d messed up and would leave her alone.
She scooted to the end of the bed since her friends were blocking the sides.
Ella and Naya shared a shocked look, then turned to Cassy. “You had sex with him?”
Cassy grimaced, she couldn’t look at them. Her shoulders slumped. All she wanted was to bury herself under the covers. “Yes. I had sex with him. For the first time in my life, I broke down and had sex and it was…” she took a deep breath, unable to stop the tears from seeping out from her eyes. “It was amazing. He was sweet and kind and an incredibly generous lover.”
“So what happened?” demanded Naya, shifting awkwardly with her protruding belly.
Cassy leaned against her dresser as the pain and humiliation hit her once again. “It was wonderful. And then he was finished with me. He went back to his country and I’m here. End of story.”
Another look flashed between her friends and Cassy could feel their sympathy. “I’m going to take a shower, and then I’m going to order a giant pizza. Maybe two. If you ladies would like to join me in this binge, then please feel free. I think there is wine in one of the cabinets.”
A moment later, she disappeared into her bathroom and turned on the shower. She hadn’t showered since the morning she’d been abandoned, but it was time to start living again, she told herself. She was being silly. So she’d had sex! It wasn’t a crime. And she might have bent the ethical lines a bit, but she hadn’t broken any laws.
Of course, she hadn’t resisted all that hard, had she? Nope, only a few hours with the man and she’d been begging him to make love to her, glorying in the amazing beauty of his touch. She
’d thrilled every time he’d taken her into his arms after that first time. Never had she pushed him away!
Okay, so he’d taken what she’d offered and moved on. Get over it! Move on! She was an adult. That meant that she didn’t need to have an emotional connection to a man in order to enjoy a sexual liaison. She was a modern woman who…
Cassy breathed quietly, her pep talk leaving her feeling worse than before. Because she had become emotionally involved! Cassy wasn’t sure what she felt for the man but…it hurt. She felt battered and bruised that he’d left her alone with just a goodbye note.
With a sniff, she refused to give in to more tears and self-pity. Time to move on, get on with her day! It was Sunday and she had to report to work bright and early tomorrow. She’d been out of the loop on her cases for too long. She’d relax tonight, watch chick flicks with her friends, get drunk, and then get back on track tomorrow morning. She’d focus on work and not think about Nasir ever again. He was a client of the firm, that’s it. She’d never seen him before that initial meeting and she didn’t have any reason to think she would see him again in the future. Most likely, he would request a different lawyer for any additional legal advice needed.
So whatever emotions she might have felt for the man, she’d just…get over them and move on!
When she shut off the water, she felt slightly better. She had a plan, she could smell the pizza and she was fairly certain that her friends had already opened the wine. What more could a woman want in life?
Work, friends, pizza, and wine. Just about everything a woman needs!
For the next few hours, Cassy and Ella gulped down the barely acceptable red wine while Naya drank milk. The three of them ate disgusting amounts of pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and sausage. After the pizza, Naya pulled the stash of ice cream out of the freezer, handing a pint to each of them. Armed with a spoon and another glass of wine or milk, the three of them gorged on ice cream and Gilmore Girls episodes, laughing and commenting, criticizing and shaking their heads in disbelief. They’d seen the whole series before, but there was just something comforting about a woman who could drink that much coffee and still form words. It gave Cassy hope.
Around ten o’clock, Naya went home to her handsome husband and Ella headed off to her apartment while Cassy cleaned up before crawling back into bed. In the darkness, she closed her eyes and pretended she wasn’t crying over a man who had obviously dismissed her from his life. It wasn’t important, she told herself for the thousandth time. Nasir wasn’t important.
Her career was important! Getting up early and jump-starting the day was important.
Chapter 7
Monday morning.
Was there a more effective form of punishment in the world?
It was five o’clock in the morning and Cassy waved her badge over the key lock, waited for the click and pushed her way through. It was quiet this early in the morning. Dumping all of her files and her laptop onto her desk, she looked around.
Nothing seemed to have changed. Her office was still tiny, still surrounded by glass walls, and she still had stacks of work piled up everywhere.
Why did it still feel like the world had changed over the past several days when all available evidence proved that everything was still the same?
Shaking her head, she sat down at her desk and entered her password to unlock her computer. It took her an hour to answer all of her e-mail and then get down to business. By then, a few other associates had come into work, but the majority of her co-workers didn’t arrive until seven o’clock. Cassy knew that she wouldn’t have an eight o’clock start time in the mornings until she’d been with the firm for several more years. She had to slog her way through the trenches first.
“In my office!” Mr. Hanover snapped as he stuck his balding head through her doorway around nine o’clock.
Cassy’s stomach lurched, but she stood up and followed him down the hallway. Was she about to be fired? She’d slept with a client! Not illegal, but definitely not a good idea. And to have slept with an extremely important client? Yeah, she should have anticipated this.
“So, what the hell happened in Zurich?”
Cassy’s shoulders stiffened. How was she supposed to explain? How did one tell her boss that she’d been overwhelmed by the man’s touch? Yes, she could promise that it would never happen again, vow that she would be on her guard going forward, because she never wanted to deal with that kind of pain and humiliation again?
“Outstanding efforts,” Mr. Hanover read, picking up a piece of paper from his desk and read it aloud. “Savvy legal advice, in-depth knowledge of international business rules…” he glanced up at Cassy. “He was impressed, whatever you did for him,” he explained. “I received this letter last Friday evening when, apparently, you were on your way home from Zurich. I’d thought you’d be there for one day, maybe two. But the guy must have had some complicated transactions going on for you to be there for three whole days.” He leaned forward, his eyes changing from stern to curious. “What’s he really like?” he asked with a conspiratorial tone of voice.
Cassy’s mouth fell open. Unfortunately, Mr. Hanover seemed to be waiting for more than just a stupefied look.
“He said that about me?” she asked, stunned. She should be flattered. Or just relieved! But the letter felt like an easy way to ease the man’s guilt for the way he’d dumped her without anything other than a note before he’d disappeared.
Mr. Hanover laughed, clapping his hands as if he were about to count a pile of money. “Hell yes! In fact, this letter was sent directly to the head of the firm! I just got wind of this last night. They’re singing your praises. So, what’s the guy like? We didn’t really get a chance to talk with him much during the trade negotiations.”
Cassy shook her head, avoiding eye contact because she just couldn’t deal with what she’d done. “I’m sorry, Mr. Hanover. I don’t really know him,” she told him honestly. They might have had some great conversations and laughed, joked around. But she would have sworn that he was just as invested in their short relationship as she’d been. Obviously, she’d misread Nasir. “He’s as much a mystery to me as he is to you.”
Mr. Hanover looked disappointed, but shrugged it off. “I guess maybe you’ll get to know him better if he ever needs more legal advice, eh?” he joked.
Cassy forced a smile, but she secretly prayed that she wouldn’t ever have a reason to see him again. She still hadn’t read his note, unable to read the inevitable, “It was fun, but now it’s over,” message. He’d probably used classier words, but she’d bet that was the gist of the message and she just…couldn’t handle it.
“The letter is very kind,” she replied, clasping her hands in front of her. “He didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate him taking the time.” Although, he probably just told an aide to send the letter, Cassy thought with a vicious tug at those old wounds.
“Well, whatever, the partners are proud of you. So…” he shrugged, “get back to work. I’m sure there are plenty of issues that you need to deal with.”
Cassy stifled the groan, but turned and walked out of his office. Mr. Hanover was right, she had a great deal of work to get done and she wasn’t exactly sure how to get it all finished. Walking back to her desk, she took a moment to stare at the stacks of case files. “Well, better get to it,” she muttered to herself. Sitting down, she took the file at the top and, head bent, dove into the first of the pending litigations. It was after midnight when she finished writing up the brief and she leaned back in her chair, sighing with relief. Of course, there would be more work tomorrow, she thought with increasing resentment.
“Where was the fun?” she asked herself as she packed up her bag and walked out. She’d driven into the office today, knowing that she’d need to work late. Cassy didn’t like riding the subway at night, and her eyes hurt from focusing on her computer screen for so long. As she made her way home, she wondered if this was her life. If she was destined to work nineteen or more
hours of every day working on legal issues.
Right at this moment, it didn’t feel as if it was the life she’d wanted for herself.
Chapter 8
Over the next month, she pushed herself harder than she ever had. She worked sixteen to eighteen hour days, grabbed all the cases she could manage, and barely ate. She lost weight, but didn’t care. As long as she could lose herself in the complexities of her work, that was all she needed.
After a month of self-abuse, Naya and Ella had had enough. Cassy had ignored their texts and phone calls, but her friends weren’t the type to let her get away with it. Cassy shouldn’t have been surprised when they showed up at her office. “What are you guys doing here?” she asked as they entered her office.
“We’re here to kidnap you,” Ella announced, taking the pile of files from her arms. “We haven’t seen you in a month and we’re taking you to lunch.”
Cassy watched as the receptionist laughingly accepted the files, storing them under her desk. “Come on,” Naya urged as both women linked arms with Cassy to tug her out of the office.
As soon as the sunshine hit her face, she squinted.
Ella laughed, handing Cassy her own sunglasses. “See? You’re trying to become a troll and it won’t work. You need sunshine. And a beer,” Ella joked.
Cassy laughed, grateful for her friends. They were right, she thought as she walked between them. Just stepping out of her office during the daytime hours felt good. Strange, but good. “Okay, fine. Where are we going?” she asked.
“To the park,” Naya said, waddling beside Cassy.
The three of them sat in the park and munched on the sandwiches Ella had made. They laughed, talked, and relaxed for over an hour.
“See? You already look better,” Ella said, squeezing Cassy’s knee.
Unexpectedly Expecting the Sheik's Baby (The Ladies of The Burling School Book 6) Page 11