Half A Heart

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by Kim Hartfield


  “You can’t do this?” Sylvia fidgeted now, shifting her weight on her feet. “Obviously you have a lot going on in your life at the moment. I guess maybe it’s not the right time.”

  “It’s not that,” I gasped out.

  “Did you meet someone else?” Disappointment washed over her beautiful features. “I should’ve known you’d get snatched up. I – ”

  “No, no! No!” I stepped toward her, my hands shaking as I put them on her shoulders. I stared into her face, marveling at the perfection that was her. “How could I find anyone who would compare to you in any possible way?”

  “So you mean…”

  “I love you, too, Sylvia. I love you so much, and it’s been killing me to be away from you. The past two weeks have been utterly fucking miserable. I want to be with you – I want that so much. I just – ” I bent to hug Mercy, and she allowed me to scoop her into my arms. “I can’t believe this is all happening in one day!”

  Now Sylvia’s face showed her understanding. “You’re right. This wasn’t the best time or place to tell you how I feel. I should give you two some space. You haven’t had the chance to be alone together in so long.”

  “You’re right, we do need a little space. But…”

  Mercy tugged on my arm. “Is Sylvia your girlfriend, Mommy?”

  I glanced at Sylvia, and my heart swelled when she nodded. “Yes, baby, she is.”

  “Kiss her, then!” Mercy’s grin couldn’t have been any bigger. “Kiss Mommy, Sylvia!”

  And she stepped toward me, and she did.

  Twenty-Five – Sylvia

  I gave Jenelle a night to be alone with Mercy before I called her. I struggled to keep myself off the phone until then. I just kept reminding myself how long and how desperately Jenelle had waited for this reunion. Whatever she felt toward me could only be a shadow of that.

  But when I did call, she was happy to hear from me. “I can see you sometime this week,” she said breathlessly. “I’ll just need to arrange a sitter. You know what? I’m going to call my sister.”

  Later that same night, she was at my place. She’d wanted to come over and see where I lived, and now that my roommates knew about her, there was nothing to stop her. I felt a little self-conscious as she poked around my kitchen and examined the bookshelves in my room.

  “So this is the famous Deedee,” she said, holding a hand out for the cat to sniff. “You know, I’m not much of a cat person, but this one is pretty cute.”

  “You mean she’s drop-dead gorgeous.” I stroked her soft white fur, and she leaned her head into my hand. “Absolute feline perfection.”

  “She’s already growing on me,” she said, still looking around. “This is a nice place, aside from sharing with strangers. It’d be nice for a family.”

  “Come here. Sit down.” I patted the spot on the bed next to me, and when she sat, I put my hand on her leg. I wanted to rip her clothes off, but we had so much to talk about first. “How’s Mercy doing? Is having her back everything you thought it would be?”

  “It’s more,” she breathed. “I’m still working on rebuilding our connection, but she’s working on it with me. She didn’t forget about me – and she doesn’t blame me for letting her be taken.”

  I was so happy to hear that. “And how was it, talking to your sister?”

  “She was happy to hear from me. I couldn’t believe she actually forgave me. Or maybe she just missed Mercy.”

  “Mercy is very missable.”

  “You’re telling me!” She threw her head back and laughed more freely than I’d ever seen her do before.

  Something about her had shifted in the short time since the court hearing – like a shadow that had constantly hung over her had lifted. Simply by being around her for a few minutes, I could see she was lighter, looser, warmer.

  “So you’ll be friends with your sister again now?” I asked. “You’re going to her wedding?”

  “Yes. It’s still four months away, I didn’t miss it. She – she said she’ll uninvite my parents if they can’t deal with me being there.” She bit her lip, then smiled. “I told her about you, by the way. She wants to meet you.”

  “Sure.” I felt warm inside. “How similar is she to you, though? I don’t know if I can handle two Jenelles.”

  “I don’t know if the world could handle two Jenelles! She’s not that much like me. You’ll be all right.”

  I squeezed her thigh. The dip in the collar of her neon yellow tank top caught my attention, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could focus on our conversation.

  “How are things with you?” she asked. “I still can’t believe you lost your job because of me.”

  “Believe it! I always knew it was possible. You were worth the risk.” I ran a finger lightly along her cheek. “It’s okay, though. I’ve been putting in a lot of job applications. No interviews yet, though.”

  I was sure the huge gap in my employment history had something to do with that. I’d been at the agency for less than a year, so I’d left it off my resume.

  “Oh, how the tables have turned,” Jenelle intoned.

  “Right, you must be getting comfortable at the real estate agency by now. How’s that going for you?”

  “Never mind that. I’ll tell you after.” Her arms wrapped around my neck, and her lips pressed to mine with fervent passion. Apparently she felt as impatient right now as I did. With a look of shock, Deedee scampered out of the room.

  My breath caught in my throat as Jenelle kissed her way down my neck. Heat pooled in my lower belly, and I crossed my legs and then re-crossed them. Her lips and hands were gentler than usual, but with my head spinning, I couldn’t find it in me to wonder why.

  “I need you,” she breathed, working my shirt over my head.

  “Need you more.” I pulled her top off, and my core fluttered as I took in the sight of her beautiful body.

  Her eyes glittered with unrestrained desire. “We both need each other. What are we going to do about that?”

  “I have a few ideas.”

  Once we’d shed the rest of our clothes, I held one of her legs to the side and straddled her waist. “Ah, I see,” she murmured. “I don’t think this works in real life. I think it’s just for – oh.”

  I held in a moan as my wetness brushed against hers. This was a different sensation from our usual, but I kind of liked it. I definitely liked how I could watch the pleasure wash over her face, her eyes rolling back in her head.

  I rocked against her, grazing my hands over her full breasts. My teeth sank into my lower lip, and heat flooded through my entire body. Jenelle was finally with me, and the love I felt for her was too intense for words. How had I denied for so long what was so incredibly obvious?

  I brought my head down to press my lips to hers again, and her tongue stroked mine – not lightly, not gently, but whole-hearted and sloppy. I groaned into her mouth, my body sparking with sudden electricity. I’d missed this woman so much. It’d felt so wrong to be away from her. We were meant to be together.

  “I need you on your back,” she whispered, running her hands over my hips. “Now.”

  I would’ve done anything for her in that moment. My core throbbing, I nodded. The moment it took to move onto the bed was a long one – but it was all worth it when she bent her head and her tongue pressed in between my thighs.

  “Oh!”

  My back arched, and I dug my fingers into the mattress. The sheer raw pleasure of this seized my body up immediately, and my hips jerked against her face. As worked up as I was, it only took me a moment to reach my peak. But when I got there, I stayed, skimming along the edge of an orgasm for what felt like hours as her tongue swirled and swirled.

  “Oh, fuck,” I moaned, caressing the back of her neck. “Oh my God, you – you do this to me like nobody else.”

  She stopped, leaving me panting. “You’re damn right, and nobody else better lay their hands on you.”

  “Don’t stop like that, baby, please.”
My body ached for her. I was going to explode if she didn’t get back to doing what she’d been doing, right – now!

  “You’re mine, and don’t you forget it.” She reached up to roughly caress my breasts, and then her mouth was on me again, her lips encircling my clit while her fingers pressed inside me.

  I screamed out loud as my walls spasmed around her. She was right. I was hers. I didn’t know when or how it had happened, but I belonged to her fully – mind, body, and soul.

  Whimpers escaped my mouth as my legs locked tightly around her head. I’d never thought this would happen to me – never believed it was possible. But I couldn’t be happier that it had.

  I was fine with being hers, as long as she was mine, too.

  Twenty-Six – Jenelle

  A few minutes after three, Philip stopped by the reception desk. “Not going for your appointment today, Jenelle?”

  “Nope.” I looked up from my paperwork. “I won’t need to go to any of those anymore, actually.”

  “Wow, that’s great! Your health is doing better?”

  “My health?” I frowned, trying to remember what I’d originally said.

  He looked abashed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume. It’s none of my business.”

  “No, that’s okay. I was never sick – well, maybe in the head.” I grimaced. “I have a daughter. She’s seven, almost eight.”

  “Oh!” Philip blinked a few times as if he was recalculating my own age.

  “I had her young. And I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have much support, and I made a few mistakes, and I ended up having her taken away about six months ago. All those days I left early, I was visiting her. I could only schedule the visits from nine to five.” I waved a hand before he could say anything. “It’s okay, though. We just had the review hearing, and I got her back.” Happiness flooded my heart. “She’s been back home with me for almost a week.”

  I’d been officially dating Sylvia for that long now, too. I couldn’t believe how many blessings had found me in such a short amount of time. Considering how hard it had been for Sylvia to open her heart and admit her feelings for me, she was turning out to be a really damn good girlfriend. She was loving and sweet to me. She’d even brought me flowers for no reason. Maybe she was making up for the months of pain and stress she’d put me through, thinking I was the only one who was in love. I’d let her keep making up for it.

  “Jenelle, that’s… I had no idea.” Philip shook his head. “How is your daughter doing now? Is there anything I can do to support you?”

  “Um… I don’t think so.” It was nice of him to offer, though. We weren’t that close, as evidenced by the fact that he didn’t know I had a daughter.

  “Are you sure? It must be a tough transition.”

  “Not really. She’s right back where she belongs, and I couldn’t be happier.” I’d been pampering Mercy like crazy, taking her out for ice cream every night or going to the movies. I’d never been able to spend so much time with her before, and she delighted me more every day with her unique perspectives and childish wisdom.

  “The only thing is her school,” I went on. “The one her foster family placed her at is definitely better quality. She loves the friends she made, and even the teachers. It’s farther than her old school. I’ve been dropping her off there half an hour before school starts every morning so I can get here on time, but it would be amazing if I could come in a little late. It wouldn’t be forever. I haven’t let them know she’s back with me, but I’ll have to tell them eventually, and they’ll make me put her back in her old school.”

  I sighed. The lower quality of the education would impact Mercy’s future, especially since she was a bright little girl. I’d try to stimulate her mind outside of classes, maybe enroll her in some after-school math and language programs. But I wouldn’t have to if I could somehow keep her at that new school.

  “What’s the name of the school?” Philip asked.

  “West Elementary.”

  “My son goes there! He’s in the fifth grade. I wonder if he’s met your daughter.” He looked thoughtful. “It’s a charter school. Eligibility to attend isn’t connected to where you live, it’s like a private school that’s actually public. You should be able to keep her enrolled there.”

  “I could? But…” I wasn’t really following. “I’d have to keep driving her.”

  “You could come in late, if you’d like. We can handle going without a receptionist for the first few minutes of the day.” He gave me a kind smile. “You can look into the bus system, too. They may be able to pick her up.”

  “I had no idea. I… Thank you so much.” I blinked at him slowly. When he’d offered to help me, I’d been so sure that he couldn’t. And now? “You just made my day.”

  He nodded. “Happy to hear it.”

  When I told Sylvia about Philip’s idea that night, she was enthusiastic about it. We were wandering along the waterfront, our hands joined, Mercy scampering a few feet ahead of us on the boardwalk. It was warm out with a pleasant ocean breeze, and Sylvia’s legs looked unbelievably sexy in the shorts she was wearing.

  “She’ll be so happy if it all works out,” she said. “And I think it will. Of course she’s at a charter school. I should’ve realized that myself.”

  I could read her emotions like a book now, and she was obviously ashamed. “It’s okay, that wasn’t your job.” I winced after saying that, worried it’d be a sensitive subject. It’d been a few weeks since she’d been let go, and she was still unemployed.

  She just smirked, seeming not to mind. “None of this is my job. Somehow I’m here anyway.”

  “You know what I mean.” I squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to solve every problem for me, babe.”

  “I know, but this one was obvious.”

  “It can’t have been, because you didn’t come up with a solution. And neither did I.”

  She shrugged. “I guess I’m not used to caring about somebody so much. It feels weird.”

  I had to smile. “You better get used to it, because we’re not going anywhere.”

  Mercy looked back at us, throwing her hands up. “What’s taking you so long?”

  “We’re strolling, baby.” I scooped her up. She was getting so big, I wouldn’t be able to do this for much longer. “We’re not trying to get anywhere fast. The point is the journey, not the destination.”

  She squirmed against me. “Oh.”

  “Well said.” Sylvia patted my shoulder, then pointed a few feet ahead. “Hey, you want to stop for ice cream?”

  “Ice cream!” Mercy shrieked. The moment I put her down, she raced ahead of us again.

  My heart had never been so full. Having her and Sylvia was everything I’d ever wanted, and more. Even if it was early, I felt like we were becoming a family. I didn’t know how I’d deal with it if Sylvia ever broke up with me – but I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. Our relationship felt solid, lasting. I had a feeling that we’d be together for a long time – like, until death did us part.

  “And you’ll get used to being in love,” I told Sylvia quietly. “It’ll start to feel like a warm sweater in the fall. It’ll be so natural, so comfortable. Like you could go without it, but why would you want to? You’ll wonder how you ever got by without it.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” she said. “No, you probably are. I just never imagined it. I always thought it was a lie. That maybe it used to exist, but that it could never happen in this day and age.”

  “That’s ironic, actually,” I told her. “In most other times and places, we wouldn’t have been able to be together.”

  Slowly, she nodded. “That’s true. I should’ve been more hopeful – although I never in my wildest dreams would’ve thought love could be this amazing.”

  “You know what would make it more amazing?”

  “What?”

  We reached the ice cream shack where Mercy was already waiting. “Chocolate chip cookie dough,” I said.

  Sylv
ia grinned. “Rocky Road for me.”

  Twenty-Seven – Sylvia

  At five o’clock, I stood outside an all-too-familiar door. I used to exit this door every day around this time, Monday to Friday. I shivered slightly, although the air outside was warm. I kind of wished I’d planned exactly what I was going to say, and since Max could be here any minute, it was already too late.

  The door swung forward and I jumped forward to hold it open, pasting a pleasant expression onto my face. Max stopped for a second, staring at me. If I hadn’t been holding the door, it would’ve swung shut in his face.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked flatly.

  “Okay… I know you hate me. I don’t want to bother you. And before you say anything, you don’t need to call security at any point. I’m not here to foist myself on you. If you don’t want to talk to me, I’ll leave immediately.”

  “I might want to talk to you more if you’d answered my question.” His face was as cold as his words. He stepped outside and stood a few feet away from me, his arms crossed.

  “Okay. All right. Well…” I didn’t even know where to start. “I wanted to apologize. Again. I know just how badly I messed up. And… I wanted to tell you that you were right. I was in love with Jenelle. I still am. We’re together now, and I couldn’t be happier. That was why I couldn’t stay professional with her. It never would’ve happened with anybody else.”

  “Wait a second.” His coldness disappeared for a second, and there was a flash of the laid-back friend he used to be. “You’re dating her? Like, in a relationship? You, Sylvia Fuller? The one who doesn’t do relationships, ever?”

  I nodded, embarrassed of the person I used to be. “Guess I didn’t have to believe in love for it to happen to me. When it did, I refused to believe in it – but a point came where I couldn’t deny it any longer. I had some issues to work through, and in the end… there it is.” I suddenly felt shy. “I love her.”

  “Wow, that’s… I didn’t expect that. I’m happy for you, Sylv. Really.”

  “I’m happy for me, too.” I basked in that happiness for a second, then remembered I didn’t just come here to tell me about my relationship. “I’ve been applying for new jobs, but I haven’t had much luck yet. I didn’t list this one on my resume since I wasn’t sure if I could explain leaving so fast. It’s a big gap in my resume, but the alternative is to admit I was here for less than a year. It looks bad.”

 

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