If at First You Don't...
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of papers to the Commander. He began to read aloud. Theaudience leaned forward in strained attention.
"Preliminary flash report on the re-launch of satellite '58 Beta. Thelaunch phase was eminently successful. The hold at T minus twelveminutes was not due to any malfunction in the missile itself, but ratherto a disorder of another kind ... the engineer who was functioning asLaunch Monitor had fainted in the blockhouse. The count was picked upunder the direction of the Assistant Launch Monitor. After launch thethree stages of the rocket separated properly, and injection into orbitoccurred at the predicted altitude."
He paused and shuffled the papers.
"Now I have here," he continued, dropping a sheet and picking it up,"the description of the orbit now occupied by '58 Beta. We have aperigee of six hundred twenty five miles and an apogee of twenty ninehundred miles, and ... oh, my word; this _is_ a tough break! Well,gentlemen, we can't win 'em all. As you know, we had hoped for apermanent orbit. However, according to our computers, while '58 Beta isnow in an orbit, it is a degenerative one. She will unfortunately suffera progressive perigee drop on each resolution and after three hundredforty eight years, seven months and approximately nineteen or twentydays she will re-enter the atmosphere and burn up. I am heartily sorry,gentlemen."
* * * * *
They returned to the AstroBar, and Clements began trying to catch upwith Jordan.
"You know," said Jordan, his head wobbling a little with the emphasis heput into the words, "this is the damnedest farce in the history of theworld."
"You're absolutely right, chief," agreed Clements, taking another slug."And what are we going to do about it?"
Over his empty glass Jordan gave Clements a slow, confidential wink.Then he fished some papers out of his pocket. He folded them carefullyand slipped them into an envelope. Meticulously drying a spot on the barwith his coatsleeve he put down the envelope and began writing on it.Finally he finished. Sealing it he waved it in the air in front ofClements.
"These," he said solemnly "are the resignation forms you got for me thatday. Do you remember those resignation forms, Clements, you oldappointee, you?"
Clements set his glass down indignantly.
"Certainly I remember, old chiefie. I remember because I got a set formyself while I was at it."
"Well, good for you, old appointee. Now, you take this envelope, andwhen we get back to Washington you put it in the office archives file,O.K.? Safest place this side of Fort Knox."
"Depend on me, chief," he said, taking the envelope and reading theinstructions Jordan had written.
_To be held for the use of the Undersecretary for Cislunar Navigationincumbent in the year 2492._
"Good idea," said Clements. "Let's drink to the jerk ... O.K.?"
* * * * *
_Memo: 92 8574 27 October 2492_
_From: Secretary for Cislunar Navigation_
_To: Undersecretary_
_The oldest item in the archives file was opened today. We are not certain that it does not constitute some sort of barbaric practical joke. Note that the forms involved have been superseded several dozen times over since they were originally printed. Investigate and report._
_Memo: 92 1751 29 October 2492_
_From: Undersecretary for Cislunar Navigation_
_To: Secretary_
_Due to excessive demands for time caused by the present Congressional furor regarding our department and its rights and duties concerning debris collection and disposal we have been unable to act on your memo 92 8574. Present priority weighting indicates that the earliest compliance date will be late in December. Please denote concurrence._