Short Scripts Collection One: Thirteen Short, Original Screenplays
Page 3
no, I've never lied. But do you know, different people define lies different ways, so it might depend on who you ask.
THRASHGOOD
LIAR!!
APPLICANT
UMM, I, I...I lied once.
He examines her like a curious dog.
THRASHGOOD
Hmm. Once before now?
She considers.
APPLICANT
Yes.
THRASHGOOD
Very interesting.
His speech turns slickly rote.
THRASHGOOD
In consideration of your eligibility for flogging, we are required to ask the following. Be advised that an answer in the affirmative may please Satan, but may not avoid a flogging. Satan may flog you at any time and for any reason with or without notice. Satan disclaims all liability for punishment from God for your sins. Have you ever commit a felony?
APPLICANT
No.
THRASHGOOD
Have you ever consciously considered cause and effect?
APPLICANT
Um, no.
THRASHGOOD
Very good! We like them that way! Creatures of passion, not of the mind! Very, very good!
APPLICANT
Um, thank you.
THRASHGOOD
I mean bad!
APPLICANT
Uh, thank you?
He queries her with feigned, glib charm:
THRASHGOOD
Now now, that isn't a question, is it?
He smiles.
Her face is very thoughtful, as if she searches for a memory.
THRASHGOOD
Have you at any time believed that you could change?
APPLICANT
Um, yes.
THRASHGOOD
Wrong.
APPLICANT
I mean no.
THRASHGOOD
But you just did change, didn't you?
APPLICANT
Um, yes.
THRASHGOOD
See, isn't that interesting, you changed because you knew it was the wrong answer. Which is okay, we're all about that, as long as we're doing the changing. That's what we do in Hell, we change people.
APPLICANT
Um, okay.
THRASHGOOD
Explain the vanity of explaining the vanity of change.
APPLICANT
Well, your nice receptionist explained it to me this way.
THRASHGOOD
Yes, very nice, isn't she? Very devilish I think.
The Attendant glowers greedily over the line. Her eyes glow red.
APPLICANT
Yes, and as I understand it, if change is vain, so is the process of explaining that change is vain. Since no one can change whatever their mind has been set to believe, explaining to them that change is impossible accomplishes nothing--again, because they can't and won't change their mind, whatever they happen to believe. And if they are wrong, that is to their great misfortune. Not that they could change their fortunes, either--let alone their minds.
THRASHGOOD
Which leads me, of course, to question why I should even instruct you in this. Shouldn't you already know it? Shame on you. Unless you didn't know it. Which leads to the great question--if you didn't know it, but came to understand it, perhaps you really knew it all along, but had simply forgotten. Yes, you really knew all along that you couldn't change.
She reflects on this despondently. He feasts on her sadness.
THRASHGOOD
Ready to sign then?
APPLICANT
Huh?
THRASHGOOD
Your immortal soul. Ready to sign it over to Lucifer?
He passes the application to her. She looks it over, raises her pen, and halts.
He points to an empty spot on the application.
THRASHGOOD
I forgot to write in that spot--you'll be in Fragment 3,421. Under me. You'll need to fill that in.
Moans from lost souls rise through hell. Thrashgood turns and growls at an open wall. The sounds fall.
APPLICANT
Wait a minute. You said somewhere in here that Hell is about changing.
THRASHGOOD
NO ONE CAN CHANGE YOUR SOUL!
The lost souls take up a ruckus of upset sounds. Thrashgood is too occupied to subdue them--
APPLICANT
But you said this! I remember! You said that in Hell you make people change!
THRASHGOOD
WELL OF COURSE WE DO, BUT WE DO THE CHANGING! WE MAKE PEOPLE CHANGE!!
The ruckus of lost souls becomes very loud.
INSERTS:
Various trapped souls, distraught.
Thrashgood barks at an open wall. Silence falls.
He turns and leans forward to the Applicant with his pinwheel eyes again. She regains her state of ignorance with less pain. His eyes return to normal. She is in a despondent trance.
THRASHGOOD
One remaining item. List what you have stolen.
He points to the application. She waits in a stupor. He looks at her expectantly; she stares back blankly.
THRASHGOOD
Candy from a baby?
Her face dawns awareness, recognition. She writes.
THRASHGOOD
Do not lie unless to question one, "have you ever lied," you answered "no." If you answered "no," you are a liar. But if you answered that you have lied, how are we to trust your answer, knowing that you have lied? Either way, expect more flogging. Expect one stripe for any stolen item. Additional stripes may be given for items we simply believe you stole.
APPLICANT
Um, if I answer that I didn't lie, I'm a liar, but if I say I have lied, you can't trust me. Is there any way for me to win here?
He stares at her, lividly angry. She is afraid but braves it.
APPLICANT
That's really rather a double-bind.
The lost souls moan and cackle.
SOUL SIX (V.O.)
She's right!
Memory flashes through her mind.
Souls in Hell stir, distraught.
He stares at her with pinwheel eyes.
He turns and barks again, but their cries continue.
Her eyes scan over the fine print. She is surprised, then indignant.
APPLICANT
This print down here, you didn't read this print to me! "We are required to 'admit' that God can save you from a fate in Hell, though as far as we are aware, such an outrageous claim has not yet been proven--" you didn't read this to me!
Her temper rises, but she controls it.
APPLICANT
You lied. You lied.
Hell rumbles and quakes. Walls crack apart. Dirt falls down from the cave ceiling.
He is petrified with fear. She stares him down.
The lost souls go into a hysterical ruckus. He growls and cries behind him in vain. The ruckus continues.
He turns and gives her the hypnotic smile and pinwheel eyes again. It is brief and his eyes flicker back to normal.
She stares him down. He tries his eyes again. They flicker on briefly, then off.
Cornered, he manages a weary, shameless, desperate, forced grin.
In a burst of light, she vanishes. He looks around. She's gone.
THRASHGOOD
DAMN HER!!
He realizes the stupid irony of that statement. He indulges in a rage of self-pity and self-hate, and beats the air with his arms.
THRASHGOOD
FIE!! FIE!! FIE YOU HEAVENS, FIE!!
In his rage, his true form of A DEVIL emerges.
FADE OUT:
THE END
THE OTHER
FADE IN:
EXT. ALIEN ROYAL COURT--DAY
This vast, open court is styled like Rome meets aristocratic Renaissance France meets the planet Mars. Although it has a roof, large sections of it are open to the pink alien atmosphere.
A MAN, white, thirty-five, observant and energetic, stands at the throne end of a
great hall, enrobed with purple alien cloth. He wears a strange hat and wields a white staff. He speaks with SEVEN ALIENS who could be described as very dangerous stick insects. Cactus-like thorns adorn their bodies. Razor-like sheafs stick out of their ears. Their eyes make Praying Mantis look friendly.
The man speaks with one of them.
MAN
Kwip-kwip!
He shakes his head.
MAN
Kwip-wkip-kwee-kwip!
The alien nods.
ALIEN
Kwip-kway.
MAN
Ahhh.
The man notices us and starts. His subjects also notice, and take up a collective shrill cry of alarm. They raise their arms to ward us off. The man addresses us belligerently.
MAN
Bon gali-gali gawan baktu! Mat non! Mat non!
He waves his hand to ward us off, and speaks more emphatically.
MAN
Bon gali-gali gawan bagan baktu! Mat non!
We hover upward and away from the man as he continues waving his arm at us. We stay for a moment in midair; he stares us down. We continue up and away.
EXT. ALIEN ROYAL COURT--DAY
We soar up and out of the grand hall, then through an opening in its roof, to see a great city sprawled across the desert. The city has widely varied architecture, though mostly similar to the palace. Some of it gleams multicolored, silver, white, celestial.
The desert is well vegetated and watered. We soar up and see a spectacular green gas giant over the horizon, ringed like Saturn; it far dominates the sky and has several moons, small by comparison. We are on one of the moons, and leave the atmosphere; blue shifts to black: we approach the gas giant.
We approach close to the underside of the rings. We pass nearby ring rocks and debris, and pull in a tight arc toward the gas giant's surface. We plummet, then slingshot still more speedily away.
We look briefly behind as the moons vanish into black, and the distant twin red giant suns pass briefly through our view. We turn to face blackness,