At first, I thought Emerson might be on break, or she was helping out in back, or something along those lines. But an hour later, and with no Emerson sightings, I knew she had left work.
I started pacing next to my car, counting to ten. I didn’t blame her one bit for bailing on me, but it didn’t help with my frustration levels. I was ready to storm the diner and take hostages when the waitress from early approached me. “Oh, hey,” she greeted. “You’re Emerson’s friend from earlier, right?”
My feet stopped in front of her. “Yeah.”
“Oh, well, she already left,” she volunteered. It wasn’t until she stepped into my personal space that I realized why she was being so helpful. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
I had no interest in her whatsoever, but I needed information from her, so I couldn’t be an outright dick. “I think I entered Emerson’s address wrong,” I lied. “My GPS keeps getting me lost.”
Rebecca looked over at my Range Rover and tsk’d. “You know, you’re risking some serious vandalism if you drive that thing out to the trailer park.”
“That’s what I have insurance for,” I quipped, “but thanks.”
Her brows furrowed. “For what?”
“Letting me know where I can find Emerson,” I answered as I turned my back on her and got into my car.
I pulled out my phone and searched for Hantover Trailer Park and, God bless, there was only one and it was only a few blocks away. I started my car and drove to the park.
When I finally came upon it, I could totally see why Rebecca had warned me. The place was a debilitated disaster. The grass was the color of lifeless wheat and there was graffiti everywhere. I drove past the office and even that looked like it belonged in a horror flick.
It killed me knowing this is where she ran to; that this level of poverty and desperation is where she felt safe enough to run to.
I finally came upon a small trailer where her car was parked. I didn’t waste any time. I got out of my car, locked it and was up the rickety steps in seconds. I was about to knock when a sound brought me up short. I looked around but didn’t see anything. I heard the sound again and that’s when I realized it was coming from inside the trailer. I put my ear up to the door and that’s when I was finally able to identify the sound.
Emerson was weeping.
Emerson was sitting inside a rundown trailer sobbing because of me.
And that knowledge was eating me alive.
I turned the doorknob, and to my surprise, it was unlocked. I didn’t wait for permission to enter because I knew I wouldn’t get it. So, I walked in like I had every right to and the sight before me gutted me completely. Emerson was sitting on her couch, clutching a pillow as she cried and cried.
I locked the door behind and stepped towards her. “Emerson…”
Her face shot up from the pillow and her eyes widened at the realization that I was here. Her wails must have drowned out my arrival. “Ramsey…”
“Baby,” I started as I reached for her, but her next move stopped me cold.
And then she completely unmanned me.
Emerson threw the pillow off her lap and she sank to the floor on her knees in front of me. Her beautiful slate colored eyes were so wet they looked like dancing mercury. “Ppp…please, Ramsey,” she begged through her sobs. “You…w…win, okay. Okay? You win,” she bawled. “Y…you win. So…so just…please…pl…please leave me a…alone. Please.”
I couldn’t breathe. My Emerson…my strong, fearless, challenging Emerson was on her knees begging me to just let her be. She was a broken mess and I’m the person who broke her. “Emer-”
“Please!” she screeched. “Oh, God, please Ramsey,” she continued to beg. “W…Why can’t you just…just leave me alone?” Her sobs turned into bone shattering wails. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry for…for whatever…ever I did…to…to you. Just…just ple…please leave me alone.”
Jesus Christ.
Emerson in the throes of an emotional breakdown was the most magnificent thing I have ever seen. She was absolutely the most beautiful thing walking this earth.
I reached down and hauled her up by her arm. She was still crying and shaking when I took hold of her chin and forced her to look at me. “I want you to listen and listen well, understand?” I waited for her to nod in understanding, and when she did, I said, “Don’t you ever get on your knees for anyone ever again, Emerson.” Hey eyes widened, but she remained quiet. “You are the best person I know. People should be on their knees before you, not the other way around.”
Hey eyelids closed, forcing more tears to flow down her cheeks. Emerson’s tears were so breathtaking, they were turning me on. And I know I should be ashamed of that, but I wasn’t.
She opened her eyes again, and ignoring what I said, asked, “Why are you here, Ramsey?”
I cradled her face in my hands and did my best to clean off her tears with my thumbs. “I’m here because I fucked up,” I admitted. “I’m here because I have to make this right, Emerson.” She started sobbing again. “I’m here because I was wrong, and I don’t think I can live without you, baby.”
Emerson’s sobs were breaking my heart, so I did the only thing I could think of. I gathered her up in my arms and sat with her on the couch, cradling her to me. I held her and let her cry it all out. I don’t know what she was thinking, but all I could think about was her on her knees begging me to quit hurting her. It was an image that will never leave me for the rest of my life.
She said that I had won, and those two little words…‘you win’…felt like there would never be anything good in my life ever again. Those words meant that she really believed this was all a game to me. She believed this was all one big joke and because her feelings had been genuine, I’d won.
I thought nothing could make me feel worse than the images of her in the school hallway defiled and humiliated, but I was wrong. Even in that hallway, covered in used condoms, she had managed to walk out with her head held high. She had vomited, but she hadn’t cried.
But seeing her on her knees, begging me to leave her alone, that was worse.
Someone as resplendent as Emerson should never be on her knees before anyone. Unless she was down there because she wanted to suck my dick, Emerson was meant to rest her perfect ass on the tallest of pedestals.
I wish I could say I was strong enough to walk away and let her live her life in peace, but I wasn’t. I needed Emerson like I needed my life’s blood and I was not going to let her go.
No matter how much she hated me.
After about an hour, her sobs had subsided, and she was quietly trying to battle her hiccups. She didn’t push herself off me, though. She just stayed quiet in my arms until her meltdown burned itself out.
I was contemplating taking her to go lay down when she finally spoke. “I think you should leave,” she whispered, softly.
My arms tightened around her. I’m not going to lie. I was fucking terrified of letting her go. I let out a deep sigh. “We need to talk, Emerson.”
She wiggled herself out of my hold and I watched silently as she made her way down the narrow hallway towards, what I presume, was the bathroom. I could hear the water running through the loud pipes and a few minutes later, Emerson was making her way back into the living room.
She stopped a few feet in front of me and repeated what she had said. “I think you should leave, Ramsey. We have nothing to talk about.”
I stood up and closed the space between us. I stared down at her and disagreed. “And I think we need to talk.”
Her face was expressionless when she said, “I have nothing to say to you. I have nothing to say to you and there isn’t anything I want to hear from you.”
“Emerson…”
“Just leave, Ramsey,” she repeated. “You’re not wanted here.”
I refused to believe her. I’ll admit what I did was horrible, but could she really fall out of love with me after only a week? I didn’t think so. As a matter of fac
t, I was risking everything on that one small hope.
“So, you’re telling me that it only took seven days for your love for me to just vanish? You loved me so much that you bled all over me, but it’s a week later and you feel nothing?”
I didn’t see it coming. I should have. I should have because Lord knows I deserved it, but I didn’t.
Emerson’s aim was so powerful, my burning face snapped sideways.
Chapter 34
Emerson
Ramsey turned his head until he was facing me again and I could already see the burning red imprint of my hand.
How dare he question my love when he so easily turned against me and was only here because he must have found out the truth? He wasn’t here because he knew better. He wasn’t here because he was certain I wasn’t the kind of person who cheats. No. He was here because someone else’s word was good enough to see as the truth and now he wanted to apologize and go on like he wasn’t a cold-blooded snake.
“I deserve th-”
“Get out of my house, Ramsey,” I spat. Now that I wasn’t a crying, emotional mess, my pride and dignity were front and center again.
“I’m not going anywhere until you hear me out, Emerson,” he replied, his voice steady and sure, and I just wanted to gouge his eyeballs out.
“Don’t you get it? I don’t care, Ramsey!” He was so used to getting his way, he didn’t realize he was one breakdown away from being murdered by my bare hands. “Get out and I don’t ever want to see you again!”
His hand snaked out and grabbing my upper arm, he yanked on my body until my breasts were being crushed by his hard chest. He looked furious and unhinged. His eyes bore into mine as he said, “No one knows better than I do how badly I fucked up. I’m not excusing or dismissing what I did to you. And, I swear to God, I will live on my fucking knees before you for the rest of my life if that’s what you need from me. But I am not letting you go, and I am not going to let you stop me from trying to make this right.”
I didn’t bother trying to wiggle out of his grasp because I knew from experience it was no use. So, I stood toe to toe with him. “I’ll call the cops and get a restraining order if you don’t leave me alone, Ramsey.”
He used his hold on my arm to shake me a bit. “Good,” he snapped back. “You’re going to have to because that’s the only way I’ll ever leave you alone, Emerson.”
I hated him. I wanted to hate him so damn badly. I wanted my hate for him to be stronger than my love for him. Because he was right, my love for him hadn’t diminished after only seven days. I was still very much in love with him. But I refused to be my mother. I refused to be with someone who could turn on me like that.
The lines were all blurry and I couldn’t make sense of any of it. I wanted his strength and I loved how there was a touch of violence in everything he did. Ramsey was unstable and that turned me on like nothing I have ever felt before. But what happened at school was blatant humiliation. It had nothing to do with his simmering brute violence. What he did to me was unimaginable and dangerous.
“Do you know the first thing I did when I walked out of Windsor that morning?” I saw the clench in his jaw, but he refrained from asking what. “That’s okay,” I mocked. “I’ll tell you anyways. I drove home, took a scalding how shower and headed over to Roselyn’s where she proceeded to drive me to a health clinic in town.” I studied his face for any signs of remorse, but he was like stone before me. “I went through the entire humiliating ordeal of having to tell the doctor what happened. He immediately drew my blood and sent it to get tested for every STD he could think of.” His demeanor finally cracked, and he had to avert his eyes away from mine.
Good.
I stood there wondering if he was going to comment when he began to take this discussion to crazy town. He let go of my arm and reached back to remove his shirt.
What the fuck?
“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked, completely bewildered.
“What does it look like?” he asked, not answering me at all.
“It looks like you’re taking off your clothes,” I snapped. “My question is why?”
Ramsey was standing before me with no shirt on, and I can’t lie, it was distracting. “So, that it doesn’t matter what your test results are,” he stated as casual as could be.
I couldn’t conceal the shock on my face.
He could not be serious!
What in the ever lovin’ fuck?!
Ramsey was willing to put his health at risk to breach the gap between us and I just couldn’t make heads or tails out of that level of insanity. I mean, I knew Ramsey was unstable, but this was something else altogether. “Are you insane?” I mean, come on, the question needed to be asked.
The sonofabitch looked me straight in the eye as he said, “I love you, Emerson. I know you probably don’t believe me, and I don’t blame you if you don’t. But I love you and my future is with you. Nothing is going to keep me from you, including anything you might…anything that might be wrong.”
Nothing ever felt so good as when I slapped him a second time. My palm stung like a bitch, but fuck Ramsey Reed.
“Fuck you, Ramsey,” I seethed. “Fuck you and get the hell out of my house!”
You would have thought that after two slaps to the face and a ‘fuck off’ he’d turn and leave. But no. That’s not what happened at all.
Ramsey stepped to me, took my face in his hands and crushed his lips to mine. It took all of three seconds for my brain to process what he was doing, but once it did, I went full blown crazy on him. I swung, kicked, hit, beat and did my very best to escape his embrace. I even bit his lip until I tasted blood. The motherfucker bit me back and that’s when shit really got sick and twisted between us.
This is what I knew. This is what was comfortable for me. Being back in Hantover, back in the exact trailer where I grew up, working in the same place I worked…it was like déjà vu. Only this time it was me and Ramsey going at each other instead of my mom and dad.
And the other glaringly obvious difference…Ramsey’s dominance was turning me on.
My mind was screaming at me to run; to run far, far away because this boy was going to destroy me. But I already knew that. He had already destroyed me. Ramsey had me on my knees begging for a reprieve. He had me sobbing uncontrollably in his arms as my heart broken and my pride took a beating.
I’ve always been disgusted by women who forgave so easily. Women who loved a man more than they loved themselves. Women who took the abuse. But, here I was, letting my body convince my mind that Ramsey wasn’t as bad as he truly was.
With our tongues coated in each other’s blood, my hands went for the button and zipper on his jeans and his hands went to the hem of my t-shirt. We broke apart long enough for him to pull my shirt over my head and then after that it was a chaos of arms and clothing being discarded everywhere.
And I cried.
Christ, how I cried.
But the obvious emotional duress I was feeling wasn’t enough to stop us. Within a couple of minutes, we were both completely naked and Ramsey was walking us back towards the bedroom. Because the trailer was so small, the journey towards the bedroom only took a matter of a few steps.
All too soon-or not soon enough-I was on the bed with Ramsey large body looming over me, his hips forcing my legs to open wide. He felt so good, he was a weakness I wanted to kill myself over.
“Ramsey…” I was going to say more, but his beautiful brown eyes were holding mine captive and his gaze didn’t waver as he slammed his entire length into my opening. I squeezed my eyes shut and threw my head back. “Ramsey!”
I felt him reach back and hook my left knee under his arm and it was all over after that. Ramsey had my body spread wide for him and he was crashing into me like his life depended on it.
This was unlike anything he showed me the weekend I gave him my virginity. This was brutal, primal and instinctive. Ramsey was claiming me. He was owning me. He was driving me godda
mn insane.
And if it wasn’t enough that he was using my body against me. He wouldn’t shut the fuck up. “I’m sorry, baby,” He panted between thrusts. “I’m so fucking sorry, Emerson.”
He needed to stop talking. He needed to stop talking because I was on the verge of believing the bastard. It was hard to get the words out, but I did. “Just because I’m letting you fuck me doesn’t mean I believe you,” I gritted out. “Or love you anymore.”
His eyes darkened, and his lip curled in a snarl. He didn’t like hearing that. “I don’t believe you. I know you still love me, and I can prove it.”
“How?” I demanded even though I knew I should probably keep my mouth shut. I was being that broken girl who was pretending to feel strong and be indifferent to his words but asking for answers anyways.
He didn’t answer me. What he did was punish my body with thrust after vicious thrust until my body was a shattered mess and my orgasm threatened to make me black out. “Oh, fuck! Ramsey!”
He didn’t let up so I could enjoy the shocks taking over. No. He kept fucking me through my orgasm until I started begging him to stop. And he did eventually stop…
But it wasn’t to give my body a break.
Chapter 35
Ramsey
Emerson cumming all over my dick was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen or ever will see. I stared down at her with blood on her lips and tears in her eyes and my dick had never been harder.
She still loved me. I refused to accept the alternative. But making her cum wasn’t anything new. I needed to prove to her and to myself that she did indeed still love me.
I flipped her weak, pliant body over until she positioned face down and ass up. I leaned back and took in the perfect view of her pussy dripping its cream and her tight, little asshole winking at me.
I stuck two fingers into her pussy and scooped out as much of her juices as I could and slid them up until I was coating her ass. Her entire body froze up and that got me harder. I covered her back and whispered in her ear, “That’s right, baby. I’m going to fuck this sweet ass of yours.” She whimpered, and I nearly passed out from my need to possess her.
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