I pushed my cock back into her pussy and started to finger fuck her ass. Emerson started moaning at the double penetration and I knew I had her. And maybe I was making this all up in my mind to make myself feel better, but no good girl gave up the ass if she wasn’t in love. And Emerson was a good girl. Everything about her was good, pure and honest. She was honesty in its truest form.
Her sweet voice was praising God and I asked, “You like that, baby? Does that feel good?”
“Yes…oh, God…” she moaned, her voice touched with a bit of mortification.
I upped my tempo, both my cock and fingers, until she was falling apart all over me again. “That’s it, baby. Cum all over me.”
Emerson shattered all around me and the second her waves of pleasure subsided, I pulled my cock out of her pussy and my fingers from her ass and I slowly started to press the head of my dick into her ass. “Relax, Emerson,” I soothed. “Force me out, baby, and then draw me back in.”
“Ramsey…” I wasn’t sure if she was saying my name in reverence or if she was cursing me to hell, but she followed my instructions and after a few agonizing seconds, my cock was buried in her ass.
And because I was sick in the head, I warned, “This is going to hurt, baby.”
And because she was sick in the head, she replied, “I don’t care.”
My dick was completely lubricated by her orgasm that I plunged forward and slammed my cock into her ass until my pelvis hit her smooth, curvy ass cheeks. “Fuck!”
“Ramsey!”
I held onto her hips and started fucking her ass like she hadn’t been a virgin only two weeks ago. “Fuck, Emerson, your ass is so goddamn tight, baby,” I panted. She didn’t respond, but I’m not sure I would have heard anything she had to say anyways. All my attention was focused on the spot where my cock kept disappearing into her ass. I had a death grip on her hips, and I was slamming into her for all I was worth.
All I kept thinking was that I’ve been the only man to have been inside her mouth, her pussy and now her ass. And I was going to be the only man to ever know what Emerson feels like. The thought was pushing me to the edge of reality.
It also made me realize that in this moment, here with her now, I didn’t want her back to me. I needed to see her. I wanted to capture every tear, every smile, every goddamn expression.
I pulled my cock out of her ass and flipped her back over. “Ramsey…wh…what…”
I grabbed the back of her thighs and pushed them up against her stomach until I could see her reddened asshole. I worked my dick back into her ass and holding her in place, I started slamming back into her.
Emerson reached back and grabbed the headboard in the white knuckled grip. Her eyes were closed, her head thrown back and her neck bared open for me. Her tits bounced with every push of my cock into her ass and I don’t think I’d ever seen a more magnificent sight.
I was going to video record this one day.
I let go of one of her thighs and when I sunk two of my fingers into her pussy, Emerson head reared up and her eyes snapped open. “Oh, fuck! Oh, God…Ramsey…”
It took an insane amount of praying, but I managed to hold onto my rhythm and make her cum again before I couldn’t fight off the tingles in the base of my balls any longer. As soon as Emerson screamed my name and flooded my fingers, I let out a vicious roar and unloaded everything I had in her ass.
Once I was completely empty, I collapsed on the bed beside her. The only sounds in the tiny trailer were our harsh breaths as we tried to recuperate. I had just fucked Emerson’s pussy and ass to orgasm, and it had been the best sex of my life.
After a few minutes of recovery time, my arm shot out and gathered her limp body to rest on mine. “Now tell me you don’t love me anymore,” I demanded.
The girl didn’t disappoint. “Sex doesn’t equate to love, Ramsey,” she retorted, right before she went for the knees. “Besides, I’ve just recently been introduced to sex. It’s a pleasure I’m still trying to capture and understand. Don’t flatter yourself, Ramsey. Now that I’m no longer a virgin anywhere, any guy will do, if I’m itching to get fucked.”
I almost rolled over her and strangled her to death.
And I’m sure that’s what she expected.
Instead, I called bullshit. “You can tell me and yourself that all you want, Emerson, but I know you’re lying.” I tightened my hold on her. “I’ve done the most unforgiveable things to you, and not only did you still open your legs for me, but you bent over and let me fuck your ass like a seasoned whore. And if that wasn’t proof enough that you still love me, the fact that you’re letting me hold you like this afterwards sure is. Fuck buddies and whores don’t cuddle, Emerson.”
She wrestled herself out of my hold and scrambled off the bed. I didn’t miss her wince as she went over to the closet and pulled out a t-shirt to cover herself with. I sat up on the bed and waited for what she was going to throw at me next.
“That,” she pointed towards me and the bed, “was nothing. It was just sex,” she insisted.
I couldn’t stop the growl emerging from my throat. “Nothing we’ve ever done to each other is just anything, Emerson. No matter how good or how bad, it’s always meant something.” I jerked my chin towards her legs. “My cum is dripping down your thighs as we speak,” I pointed out. “I’ve cum in your mouth, in your pussy, all over your skin and now in your ass. Sometimes without the benefit of protection. And you let me. You’ve let me inside your body countless times with no concern for the consequences of what could happen. Don’t fucking tell me you don’t love me!”
Her eyes started spilling over and I knew it was because she knew I was right. She confirmed it with her next words, but it wasn’t the victory I was hoping for. “Even if I did still love you, it doesn’t mean I should be with you. You’re toxic, Ramsey, and I’ve seen firsthand what can happen to a woman who chooses a toxic love story above everything else.”
I stared up at her stunned, and it was in this moment, I realized what I’ve been asking of her. Parents weren’t important to me because I’ve never really had any. My parents made cameo appearances in my life at best. But Emerson, Emerson lived a life where her parents were a major influence on her, proven by the fact that she gets off on how forceful I get with her. She lived a life of terror and violence that ultimately led to losing the one person in the world she loved.
She’s right.
I am toxic.
I stood up and silently walked around her towards the living room. I didn’t look at her as I gathered my clothes and started dressing. I couldn’t look at her. My shame and selfishness were threatening to choke me.
“What now?” she asked from the short hallway.
I was slipping on my shoes, still not looking at her. “I leave, Emerson,” God, the words felt like I was gargling on broken razors. “I leave and you…you be happy.”
She gasped. That little sound sounded like she was both surprised and hurt that I was giving her what she asked for. “You’re leaving?”
I finally pulled my balls out of her purse and looked at her. “Your father, everyone at Windsor, me…don’t allow us to matter anymore, Emerson. Be happy in spite of not knowing how to be or having ever been.” I felt like my purpose for living was fading away with each word out of my mouth. “You are bigger, better and more important for this world than any of us ever will be.” I stepped towards her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Looking down on the crown of her head, I said, “I love you, Emerson. I love you more than I ever thought was possible for a person like me. But you’re right. I am toxic, and there was a time where I wanted to take you down with me, but I don’t want that anymore.” I had more to say, but my words didn’t matter. They were for me, so I could find a way to live with myself. Emerson didn’t need my words to move on from me. She didn’t need anything from me to move on.
Emerson Andrews was the strongest person I have ever met, and I had no doubt that wherever she went to from here, she’
d succeed. She might not ever make it rich, or live in a mansion, or create the next world changing app, but she’d be happy. Because she didn’t need anything or anybody, Emerson was going to be happy in life with whatever life blessed her with.
I turned towards the door and walked out without looking back. I got in my car and drove away without one backward glance.
The entire drive back to Sands Cove I tortured myself with possible scenarios of how Emerson would have responded had I stuck around. Every mile back to Sands Cove felt like the distance to the fucking sun.
Which seem appropriate since I felt like I was burning from the inside out.
Chapter 36
Emerson
I felt like the biggest fool on the planet parked in the student parking lot at Windsor.
After Ramsey had left, I fell victim to another breakdown. I cried myself to sleep, and I didn’t awaken until the pounding at my door woke me.
A part of me had been afraid Ramsey had come back and the other part wished that he had. But, when I finally answered it, I was swept up in a pair of old, familiar arms. After Scott put me down and came inside, Henry and Sally followed after.
I started crying all over again.
My tears had shocked them, and it was well into the evening by the time I finished telling them everything I’d been through from the night they arrested my dad until then. By the time I was done, it felt like I had gone through an emotional cleansing. And I had felt exhausted. So damn exhausted.
After my epic meltdown, Sally had ordered pizzas and we had hung out in my trailer catching up. It had only been a matter of months, but it fell like forever since I had seen them. We called and texted, but it hadn’t been the same thing.
It was around midnight that night when Sally and Henry crashed on the bed. They weren’t a couple or anything like that; we were just all sort of comfortable around each other like that. Scott was laid out on the couch with his back resting on one of the arm supports, and I was lying next to him curled up in his arms as we watched T.V.
After about an hour of silence, save for the television, Scott had asked me point blank if I loved Ramsey. I replayed the conversation over and over in my head during the drive back to Sands Cove.
“Tell me, Emer, do you love him?”
I couldn’t lie to him. I’ve never lied to him before, I wasn’t going to start now. “Yes.”
“Then make him prove it to you, honey.”
I sat up and looked over at him. “What do you mean?” I asked and hated myself for even asking. What Ramsey did to me was unforgivable, and here I was trying to find a way to forgive him. I’d never felt so weak and cowardly in all my life.
“Go back to Windsor, walk down that hallway proud and strong until you’re standing in front of him and then let him make the next move,” Scott suggested.
I shook my head. “I don’t understand. What’s that supposed to accomplish?”
“Emer, when he sees you, he’s going to either beg your forgiveness in front of everyone or he’s going to let you go,” he explained. “If he lets you go, then you get to go without the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what could have beens’ plaguing the rest of your life. If he begs for forgiveness, then you’ll be vindicated, and it won’t hurt to love him. Well, it won’t hurt as much. You both are unstable as fuck. I imagine any future relationship you guys have is going to be riddled with heartbreak. But you’re strong enough to see it through.”
“Bu…but he doesn’t deserve a chance to make it right,” I stressed.
“You’re right. He doesn’t. What he did makes me want to kill him. But, Emer, you wouldn’t be going back for him. You’d be going back for you, so that you can find peace either, with or without him. But it’ll be done either way and you’ll be able to move on.”
I replayed his words over and over in my mind until I fell asleep and then, again, all weekend long. Scott, Henry and Sally had hung out with me the entire time and it was wonderful. It felt like old times. It felt comfortable and safe. But at the same time, it felt lonely. Even my trailer wasn’t free from memories of Ramsey.
I had worked my Saturday and Sunday shifts, but I had asked for Monday off and I wasn’t embarrassed to tell Muriel why. And the Godsend that she was, she thought my plan to go back to the scene of the crime was a good idea. She also assured me that no matter the outcome, she would always be there if I ever needed her. It was hard to walking away from her again. Of course, if this all went to hell, I’d be back.
When I got home after my shift last night, I had called Roselyn and after several minutes of hearing her shriek how happy she was that I called. I told her about Ramsey’s visit and my talk with Scott.
Now, while Roselyn assured me that she was team Emerson, and as she revealed that she had put a voodoo curse on Ramsey praying his balls would shrivel up and fall off after what he did to me, she agreed with Scott. She also told me she’d never seen Ramsey so torn up. She also mentioned that the hallways were quiet and eerie, and that people were afraid to even say boo after word got around about what Ramsey did to Bailey and her mother.
I wish I could say I felt sorry for my aunt and Bailey after Roselyn told me everything that went down, but I wasn’t. They were both horrible people and, just like my father, it meant nothing to me that they were my blood.
People always feel like you have to forgive your family because they’re your family. But I never bought into that. Family is what you make it and just because you share the same blood with someone else, that doesn’t mean they’re your family. It just means you’re related to them.
Scott, Henry, Sally, Muriel, and even Roselyn, after only knowing her a short while…they were my family. They were the people I trusted and would do anything for. Bailey, Aunt Constance and my father…they were just unfortunate members of my bloodline. I didn’t have to forgive them shit.
For a time there, I felt as if Ramsey, Deke and Liam could have been my family too, but fuck was I ever wrong.
But, then, I also questioned what I was feeling. Did I really love Ramsey or was I just attracted to his demons because I was warped in the head? It felt like I loved him, but I was so confused I wasn’t sure how much I should trust those feelings.
Either way, Scott was right. I needed to see this through. I had to find out if everything Ramsey said were just pretty words he used to lure me back into his game of cat and mouse. And seeing how he’ll react to me in front of everyone who he humiliated me in front of…well, that will tell me all I need to know.
I sat in my car and watched as everyone was headed to the main entrance. I wanted my arrival to be a surprise. I had parked my car as far from the entrance as I could because it was unmistakable. It was the only used car in the entire school…hell, in the entire town, I do believe.
I heard the first warning bell ring and that was my cue to man up. I didn’t wear the school’s uniform since I was pretty sure I wasn’t enrolled as a student anymore, but I wasn’t exactly sure. I knew things worked differently here and kids could buy a week off of school if they wanted to ditch.
I wore a plain white t-shirt, a used pair of blue jeans with a pair of white sneakers. I threw my hair up in a messy bun and I decided against any makeup. This was me. The real me. The me who didn’t care about the latest fashions or fastest cars. This was the me who didn’t care about bank accounts and job titles. This was me and that’s what everyone here was going to get.
I made my way through the parking lot towards the front lawn. As I scanned the area, I could see a few stragglers recognizing who I was. I could her shocked gasps and loud murmurs all around me. I even saw some students start running towards the front doors of the building. They no doubt wanted to be the first ones to spread the news that I was here.
When I finally reached the main doors, I took a deep breath, lifted my head, steeled my spine and opened them bitches up.
I ignore the deafening silence as everyone stopped to stare. I looked straight ahead knowing exactly where Ramsey�
�s locker was. I could only see his back as he was digging inside his locker, but Deke nudged him as soon as he saw me, and Liam averted his eyes, not being able to look at me.
Ramsey turned around and his face conveyed pure shock at seeing me. But it was only for a brief second. The closer I got to him the more controlled he appeared. And, of course, as always, he looked gorgeous and in control.
I looked over at Deke and he was completely unreadable. He just stared at me with those magnetizing green eyes of his. He was giving nothing away.
When I turned my head left to look at Liam, the regret in his sweet blue eyes nearly did me in. He couldn’t look me in the eye and every time our eyes caught, he looked like he wanted to throw up. If I didn’t know better, I would think that he felt more upset about what went down than I did.
My eyes moved from Liam back to Ramsey. On the outside I was donning my best poker face, but on the inside, I couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was stupid to ever think that Ramsey Reed would bend for anyone.
All these people will never know what it was costing me to be standing here in front of the only person who has ever broken me down. Hell, my father beat me and my mother for years and he never reduced me to the helpless mess I was on Friday night with Ramsey.
Maybe it’s because I never believed that my father ever loved us, but I did believe it when Ramsey told me that he loved me. I bought into whatever Ramsey was selling hook, line and sinker. I felt like it was okay to be myself around him. And the sex…Jesus Christ…I ate up everything he introduced me to. Even Friday night, when I let him do the unthinkable, I felt like I was where I was supposed to be.
But I wasn’t going to let all my confusion stop me from doing what I came here to do. I stopped directly in front of him, and in a strong voice, loud enough for everyone to hear, I said, “Prove it.”
Facing The Enemy Page 18