Each day I spent with her, I worried that another letter would arrive—a letter informing me of my brother’s death.
I appreciated what Gabriel and Junho were trying to do, but if they’d given us another month or two, maybe something might happen on its own.
But time was against us, both because of Sumin’s condition and because no one would say it but everyone feared what Lancelot would try next. We were already on borrowed time. We had to return to Vires, while we still could.
It just all felt too contrived. Was I just scared? Maybe, but once that line was crossed, there would be no going back.
Before I knew it, I’d handed Morgana to Gabriel, oblivious of the cheesy smile stuck to his face and mine.
“Goodnight,” he called, but I was already out the door.
I was out of breath when I knocked on Charlotte’s door. Had I run there? What was I doing? I wasn’t seriously thinking of going through with this, was I?
A moment later, the door swung open. Charlotte stood in the doorway, a bright smile on her face. I froze. “My brother is sick,” I blurted. “Sumin. My father asked me to come home weeks ago.”
Her mouth fell open. “Oh, you’re going then?” she said.
“No,” I breathed. “I’m not.” The thrum of my heart drowned out any attempt at explanation.
Her gaze barreled into me, and I felt myself grow weaker with every breath she took. She looked behind me. “Are Morgana and Gabriel with you?” she asked.
I shook my head. “We traded rooms,” I said matter-of-factly.
“What?” she whispered as I eased her back and shut the door behind me.
I pulled her body to mine and felt the heave of her chest against me. My body pulsed. “Minseo,” she whispered to my lips. My heart slammed against my chest. I stared into her eyes and felt her body shake beneath my fingers. I wrapped both my arms around her and held her, hoping her wild heartbeat might calm mine. A hug? What the hell was I doing? Did I just blow that? Was I waiting for her to protest? Yes. Of course. She wasn’t as foolish as I was. Only one way to know.
After this, if I lost her again, I’d die. Shit. I was panicking. She took my face in her hands, her eyes stripping bare each emotion. Fear and doubt burned into ash by adrenaline and desire.
“Minseo,” she said, her fingers sending chills down the back of my neck. “Fall in love with me.”
I stepped back, dizzy, the top of my fist over my mouth. “Mmmm,” I moaned. It was as if, once again, she’d struck me. I took her hand and guided her to her bedroom.
I sat on the bed and pulled her onto my lap. I exhaled, my forehead against hers. “Damn, Charlotte, please say it again.”
Her face brightened into a smile. “Fall in lo—”
But it was too late, my mouth was on hers—and the line I’d been so hesitant to cross dissolved to nothing.
28
Charlotte
Time blurred as I let myself be devoured by this new feeling. Minseo had been right; loving him was different. Young had been a glowing gold but Minseo was deep, crimson red. Here, where we floated, there were no regrets, there was no fear, nothing held back. It was the time to surrender—a time to let everything melt away but him. More, I felt my heart beg, or was it my body? They’d become one and the same, and so had Minseo and I. A timid knock sounded at the door, thrusting me back into the world.
“My dress,” I whispered. “Where is it?” Minseo leapt up, searching the room for his things. We dressed in a hurry, and Minseo came up behind me to tie my dress. “Good, okay,” I said and rushed to the door.
“Wait,” he said.
Disoriented, I turned. “What?”
He grabbed and lifted me, pushing me against the wall. He kissed me from my collarbone up my neck to my jaw. I dizzied as he moved to my lips. Why had we even left the bedroom?
A knock sounded again at the door, startling us. Minseo and I swallowed a laugh, and I quickly adjusted my dress before I pulled the door open.
Gabriel and Junho stood at the door, Morgana asleep on Junho’s hip. They bit back their smiles as they appraised us. “Did you forget about us?” Gabriel said.
I shook my head. “No—of course not.”
He laughed. “It’s been two days.”
“What?” Minseo said.
Gabriel said, “Well, we tried to come back…”
“A few times,” Junho added.
My face burned scarlet.
Gabriel smiled at me. “Glad you’re alive.”
Oh. My. God.
“Should we come back?” Junho said.
Yes. One more day, please. “No, come in,” I said, stepping aside. As they entered, I felt Minseo’s hands on my waist. My heart thudded. If I didn’t make myself used to him somehow, I’d go mad.
I was worried that things with our group would be different since things had changed with Minseo and me, but as I watched Gabriel, Junho, and Minseo laugh by the fire, Morgana asleep in his lap, I saw something that knocked the breath from my lungs. A family. After all I’d lost and everything I was afraid of, Minseo had brought the feeling of home back. I looked at the men in my living room and I knew they’d be around for Morgana’s whole life. Families were built with love, and any kind of love would do.
Dinner boiled over the fire and I crept to the door to the living room and listened.
“... and maybe you could show me,” Minseo said.
Junho’s voice sounded through the door. “Aww.”
Gabriel said, “From what I can see, you’re going to be a great parent. But don’t worry, I’ll be there the whole time. Junho said he can show me some markets where I can…”
I heard the sizzle of my pot overflowing behind me. I turned, grabbing my cooking mit and moving the pot farther away from the fire.
Vires, I thought. I knew I couldn’t keep Minseo here any longer. His brother was sick, and it was selfish to keep him. Of course, he’d ask to go. I’d never been as far as Vires, but if my family would be there together, I knew we’d be fine.
The next day, Minseo, Morgana, and I visited Young’s grave. Morgana ran to the tree and turned to Minseo. “My father died in the war,” she said, patting the tree. “We come here to visit him.”
Minseo smiled. “You know, Morgana, I knew your father.”
Morgana’s eyes widened. “You did?”
Minseo took her hand. “He was my little brother.”
“Well,” she pulled at her hair, “what did he look like?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the question. She’d never asked me that before.
“He looked just like you,” Minseo said.
Morgana spun, delighted. She beamed. She pointed to the tree. “Look at the pretty flowers.”
I took my usual seat at the base of the tree, Listening to their banter.
“In my kingdom, Vires, all the trees turn pink this time of year.”
“Don’t lie,” Morgana said.
“It’s true. Your dad and I used to shake them and pretend the flower petals were snow.”
Morgana squealed.
Minseo took a seat beside me, Morgana skipping around the tree.
“So,” I said, “say hypothetically we went with you to Vires, what would our lives be like there?”
He pulled me onto his lap, a confident smirk on his face that reminded me of how he looked when I’d first met him. “Well, first—hypothetically—you’d become my wife.” He paused, waiting for me to object, but when I didn’t he kissed the top of my head and tightened his grip around me.
“What about me?” Morgana interjected.
“You’d become a princess. You’d go to school to learn to speak Viran.”
“Teach me now!” she demanded.
Minseo laughed, pulling Morgana onto us both. “Alright,” he said. “When we get to Vires, you can call me Appa.”
“Appa! Appa!” Morgana leapt up, her small knees digging into my ribs before she broke away. “Appa!” She danced. “Appa.”
Each time s
he spoke the word, Minseo smiled so warmly that I’d answered the question before it left my lips.
“What’s that mean?”
He leaned in, pausing just before his lips touched mine. “Father,” he said. He kissed me so deeply that I hardly felt the cold band slide onto my finger. He pulled away, his hand still on my chin. “Charlotte, will you marry me?”
Marriage. My heart raced. How had I found myself here again? It was a reckless decision—a scandal, really. Former princess marries fallen husband’s brother and regains royal status. I could feel my mother’s eyes roll from beyond the grave. I’d never wanted a royal life and knew I didn’t want that for Morgana—but Minseo I wanted. Was it wrong to want him? How quickly I’d forgiven him and allowed him to topple my walls. How cruelly I had pushed aside my guilt or allegiance to Young for the chance to love again. No matter how brutally life passed, I was still the same thoughtless girl I’d always been— only now, I didn’t care. Minseo was offering much more than his love. He was offering to become Morgana’s father and, with Camelot grabbing allies left and right, Vires seemed like the safest place on this side of the world. Minseo and I could raise Morgana together, and without fear. There I was trying to convince myself that I was carefully weighing the options, but I wasn’t—I was always going to choose Minseo. Which is why, when he asked me to marry him, I said yes without a moment's hesitation. Prince Minseo of Vires, I belong to you now, and you to me.
29
Minseo
It was a whirlwind of planning, nerves, and bliss that I’d never imagined I was capable of feeling. Appa, Morgana had said. It was the only role that had taken me by surprise more than Charlotte agreeing to become my wife. I kept waiting for the light to leave her eyes, for her to turn away, but she didn’t. Winter was over and spring had brought a new life for us. Maybe life wasn't this cruel and meaningless sequence of events but rather a collection of extraordinary moments. What if everyone lived this way and extraordinary was, in fact, ordinary? I took a disbelieving breath. Why were moments with Charlotte the only ones that made any sense to me?
I’d been lost for so long, convinced myself that Charlotte died with my brother who, even in death, had guided me to be a better man.
I would step into the life he left behind and hopefully become a man worthy of it. Appa. I smiled. What a concept, me a father. Charlotte, Morgana, and I safe and sound in Vires. My heart beat so fast as the plans came together. We’d leave tomorrow. Gabriel had agreed to come along. He hadn’t even required a bit of convincing before he heartily embraced all of it. Me in Morgana’s life. A co-parent. Knowing he’d be there too gave me more courage. There was only one moment when I felt guilt slip in. It was when Charlotte said goodbye to her friend Lynn. Charlotte described the encounter with great detail, the excitement in Lynn’s eyes, to hear of our engagement, and the tears in them when Charlotte said her goodbyes. Good friends were hard to come by, and I felt an ache inside me when I thought of taking Charlotte away from that. Still, her and Morgana’s safety was paramount.
Junho packed our things at the inn— humming along like he’d orchestrated all the events that led here. Perhaps he did. Maybe he was my guardian angel all this time, or just one hell of a friend.
A knock sounded at my door. The apocalypse? Some tragic twist of events? No. Charlotte. My future wife, Charlotte, with a gentle smile and mischievous look in her eye, that I’d learned meant she wanted some time alone with me. A look that hammered my chest so hard it could bring me back from the dead. This was my life now. I shut the door behind her.
This was my life. This was my life. This was my life.
The next morning, the guards finished loading the carriage. Hanbit had given up his seat in the carriage for horseback to allow Morgana and Charlotte to have a seat inside. Morgana pet her favorite two horses, who she named Jelly and Lulu, before stepping up into the carriage.
I squeezed Charlotte’s hand as the horses pulled through the Wellwood city gate. We were on our way. This was my life. Almost. A few minutes later, the carriage stopped.
No. My heartbeat. Unwelcome as the grim reaper coming to claim my soul—I knew it was over. I had no reason to suspect the delay wasn’t a herd of cattle, or a wide-framed carriage passing by—except for this was my life and, in my life, happiness was temporary.
“Stay here,” I said to Charlotte and stepped out of the carriage. At the center of the road were a horse and a man. Lancelot.
I drew my sword, but he didn’t reach for his, the calm look on his face raising my pulse with each beat of my quaking heart.
“I have a letter for Mr. Hanbit of Vires,” he said.
Shaken, Jay Hyun, his soldiers, Junho, Gabriel, and I turned to the sniveling man who paled so quickly I might’ve thought him dead. He stepped forward on shaking legs and Lancelot handed him a letter that I hadn’t noticed in his hand until that moment.
Silence chipped at my faith as Hanbit’s eyes moved across the letter.
“It has the king’s seal,” he said finally.
I ran a nervous hand through my hair. “Arthur?”
He shook his head. “The King of Vires. It’s from your father.”
I swallowed hard, the air too thin to sustain me.
He turned to the guards. “He has asked us to deliver Charlotte to King Arthur as a mandatory term of the Vires and Camelot alliance.”
“That’s impossible,” I said, my voice shaking. “There must be some kind of mistake. My father would never agree to ally with Camelot.” There was no way. I knew my father. I trusted him. He’d never sell his kingdom out, let alone to a man like Arthur. I turned to Lancelot. “You think we’d fall for such a pathetic trick?”
Lancelot stepped forward. “She won’t be harmed.”
There was nothing but pity in his eyes. Why did he look so certain? It was a lie, and not even a good one. I ripped the letter from Hanbit’s hands.
“There’s no doubt,” he said. “It’s written by our king. It’s in Viran. It has his seal. It’s an order and we must obey.”
I stared at it, reading it again and again. It was unmistakably written by my father. My legs weakened as the truth set in. No. I wasn’t going to lose her like this.
I turned to Jay Hyun. “You’re not seriously going to obey.”
He shook his head. “I-I’m not sure.” He looked at the ground. “It’s a direct order from our king.” He turned to the other guards. “It’s time to make a choice.”
One by one, the guards voted. Obey. Obey. Obey.
I shook with disbelief, rage surging through me.
“Disobey,” Jay Hyun said, standing beside me.
I walked up to each guard and looked them in the eye one by one. They had been with us this whole time. They’d gotten to know Charlotte. How could they follow an order like this? When they didn’t waver, I drew my sword. “You’ll have to kill a prince of Vires first. See if your king welcomes you back—”
I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and turned to see Charlotte. “No,” I breathed. “Get back in the carriage. I won’t let them take you.”
She touched my face, her voice a gentle whisper in the wind. “I need you to take your daughter away from here. Take her to Vires. Find out what’s happening.”
“No, Charlotte.”
“Morgana could be next. Get her away from here.”
Tears streamed down my face, all my hope draining from my body. “I’ll find you. Stay alive. I’ll find you, I swear.” I fell apart, a sobbing wreck as my dream slipped away without so much as a fight.
She kissed me softly and stepped back. When she looked back up at me, I saw the light in her eyes had gone out. This was goodbye.
My nine soldiers walked alongside Charlotte and Lancelot, lifted her, and placed her on Lance’s horse. Hanbit hesitated a moment, debating which path to take before he stood beside our carriage.
“Jay Hyun,” I said, “go with Charlotte. Make sure nothing happens to her.”
“Yes, sir,”
he said.
“Promise me.”
“I promise.” He hurried after them, taking his place beside Charlotte.
This couldn’t be happening. Through sobs, I spoke, “You think this makes you a knight, Lancelot? Having your king do everything for you.” I gasped. “You think you’re an honorable man?” I drew my sword, desperation flooding my body. “I’ll fight you right now for her.”
Lance turned to me somberly. “I am not an honorable man,” he said. “Not anymore.” His words seemed meant to wound himself rather than me.
“Please,” I begged, dropping my head.
“Mommy?” Morgana’s soft voice sounded from behind me. Fear swelled. She ran to me, peeking at her mother from behind me. I picked her up and carried her back toward the carriage. Afraid that, Lancelot heard or saw her. I couldn’t let her be taken. “I’ll get her back,” I whispered.” Wiping my wet eyes, I glanced back at Charlotte—her eyes a storm of whispers. Save her. Get out of here.
I put Morgana into the carriage, nodding to Gabriel and Junho.
Charlotte would have to wait, but my father would pay for this. The whole world would. We were going to Vires—I had to dethrone a king.
30
Lancelot
A hollow victory. At least he had the decency to make a show of it. You think this makes you a real knight, Lancelot? I wish he hadn’t said that. That question revolved in my mind again and again as we began our trip to Bullhorn.
It didn’t matter how it happened, right? I got the girl. It was a stupid knighthood mission to begin with. Why couldn’t I have gotten one like Pansley—climb the highest peak in Camelot? Or one like Owens—win twelve fencing tournaments. No, I had to kidnap some girl and, even so, needed Arthur’s help to do it.
The guards spoke in Viran and I couldn’t tell if it was to hide their thoughts from Charlotte or from me. Eventually, to drown them out, Charlotte spoke. “So you’ll be a knight now?” she said casually, her dark curls moving with each gust of the wind or step of the horse.
Kingdom Soul Page 11