The Curious Case of the Missing Head

by Gabriel Farago

  More applause reverberated around the barn, becoming ever more enthusiastic.

  ‘But enough of that for now. It’s time for me to tell you why I have invited you all to come here today. I firmly believe that we are about to witness history and I wanted to share that moment with you. I assure you, I don’t say that lightly and it all began six months ago with a challenge. My young colleagues here and I called it the Hawking Challenge. It was the beginning of a search for that elusive theory of everything that had evaded Professor Hawking. We believe he was actually getting very close just before he died, but sadly he ran out of time. We decided that we would try to complete what he began and finally solve what science has been searching for ever since man first looked up at the stars and wondered how it all worked.’

  Stolzfus paused to let the suspense grow. ‘And we’ve actually done just that,’ he continued. ‘Here, let me show you.’

  All eyes were on Stolzfus as he turned his wheelchair towards the large TV screen behind him. Suddenly, strange symbols surrounded by lots of numbers began to appear on the screen like ghostly writing on an electronic wall. They were all part of a set of complex equations placed there by thought alone, flowing from the brain of an incapacitated genius directly onto the screen for all to see.

  ‘This, my friends,’ continued Stolzfus, ‘is the theory of everything that I firmly believe ties together the eternal laws of nature and explains how the universe works, how it began and where it is heading ...’

  After a few moments as the audience took it all in, rapturous applause erupted, even drowning out Gizmo, who was enthusiastically barking along with it.

  After Stolzfus’s presentation, Amish hospitality went to work. The women had been up since daybreak preparing a feast. The Amish might be known as the plain people, but there was nothing plain about the food being served that day. Large trestle tables were groaning under the volume of delicious food being served in another barn next to the large farmhouse kitchen.

  ‘This reminds me of barn-raising parties when I was growing up here,’ said Rebecca, filling up Jack’s plate with scrapple. ‘My goodness, I haven’t eaten this in years.’

  ‘What is it?’ asked Jack, looking a little alarmed.

  ‘A traditional delicacy. Its Pennsylvania Dutch name is Pannhaas. A mush of pork scraps combined with buckwheat flour and spices. Delicious! You’ll love it.’

  ‘Can’t wait.’ To his surprise, the scrapple was delicious and Jack even went back for seconds. But that was just the beginning. Scrapple was followed by gritzwurst – a pork and oatmeal sausage – cabbage rolls and other homemade specialities. Then came the sweets. Shoofly pie topped with whipped cream was Jack’s favourite.

  The party lasted well into the night. Neighbours arrived during the afternoon bringing more food, and extra tables were set to accommodate the visitors.

  After dark, families began to leave and a convoy of black buggies travelled down the driveway. Jack stepped outside to watch the procession.

  ‘I thought I would find you here,’ said Rebecca, walking up to Jack who was sitting on a fence post in the dark. ‘What an amazing day.’

  ‘Sure was, in more ways than one,’ said Jack.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You realise of course that Zac’s life has just changed forever. As soon as news of this gets out, he will become an overnight celebrity. I can tell you, this place will be teeming with news crews by tomorrow, hoping to get a glimpse or an interview with the man who has just joined the ranks of Galileo, Newton and Kepler.’

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘No doubt about it. Celia has already gone back to New York to start the ball rolling. Once again, the New York Times will break the story. And what a story it is! How do you think this will affect your family?’

  ‘Don’t know,’ said Rebecca, frowning. ‘But what I do know is, they will protect Zac and his privacy.’

  ‘Good, because he will need protecting, that’s for sure.’ Jack paused and looked up at the stars blazing in the clear sky above. ‘Isn’t it amazing that the scientist who appears to have solved the mysteries of the universe should come from such a devout and God-fearing family whose traditions and beliefs haven’t changed in centuries? How do you think the Amish community will react to this when they find out that Zachariah Stolzfus, one of their own, has found a way to know the mind of God?’

  ‘Not sure, but I hope they will be proud, just as I am,’ said Rebecca.

  ‘It’s been an amazing journey,’ said Jack.

  ‘Any regrets?’

  ‘Regrets? Are you kidding? I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!’

  Rebecca shook her head. ‘Do you know what your friends call you behind your back?’

  ‘Tell me.’

  ‘An adventure junkie and a story magnet.’

  ‘Not an incorrigible rascal?’

  ‘Don’t worry, they call you that too!’

  One Year Later

  Queens’ College, Cambridge University

  Cambridge University, ‘the holy city of mathematics’, was blessed with a welcoming, sunny autumn afternoon to celebrate another historic milestone: the appointment of the university’s next Lucasian Professor of Mathematics. Founded in 1663, this famous chair had been held by some of the greatest minds of their time, including Isaac Newton, Charles Babbage, Paul Dirac and, of course, Steven Hawking, to mention but a few.

  Stolzfus’s nomination had come as no surprise. However, what did surprise many – especially in science circles – was the fact that he accepted the appointment despite his considerable disability, which required around-the-clock care. Apart from that, prestigious institutions had reached out, offering Stolzfus appointments with eye-watering remuneration in the hope of keeping him in the United States.

  An outspoken and disappointed, but not bitter, Stolzfus had told Celia Crawford in an exclusive interview about the shameful treatment he had received from his former employer when it seemed unlikely that he would ever be able to speak or communicate again. And that had come on top of the security services fiasco that had failed so miserably to protect him.

  He also spoke of the generosity and support of Isis and her famous foundation that had made his extraordinary recovery possible, and had given him a ‘voice’ that allowed him to share his groundbreaking theory with the world. Apart from all that, he conceded that becoming Cambridge University’s next Lucasian Professor of Mathematics and Hawking’s successor was irresistible, as it would open up further opportunities for significant contributions to science.

  After the publication of his celebrated paper – Understanding the mind of God – which set out his revolutionary ‘Theory of Everything’, Stolzfus had been catapulted into the international limelight and emerged as one of the greatest natural philosophers and mathematical physicists of his day. He had of course already obtained notoriety and fame earlier through his incredible story of survival and dramatic rescue after his very public poisoning in Westminster Abbey. News-hungry media and a curious public couldn’t get enough of the enigmatic, paralysed genius who was confined to a wheelchair and communicated through a computer controlled by thought alone, via a device implanted in his brain.

  After Greenberg had somewhat reluctantly given his approval, and with the generous support of Isis and her foundation, Stolzfus was relocated from the family farm in Pennsylvania to Cambridge, together with his carer and new PA. After the formal award ceremony earlier that day, which due to logistical reasons could only be attended by a privileged few, Isis – Lord Elms – as she was known in Cambridge due to a long family association with the university, had made arrangements for a celebration banquet at Queens’ College.

  Lola had thrown herself into this task with great enthusiasm and booked the Old Hall – the famous Queens’ College dining hall dating from 1448 – where the illustrious Elms family had celebrated many an important occasion in the past. In many ways, the Old Hall was the perfect setting for a historic celebration
like this, as it would provide a dining experience the fifty fortunate invited guests would remember for a long time to come.

  ‘Very suave,’ said Countess Kuragin, quickly adjusting Jack’s bow tie. ‘There. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dinner suit.’

  ‘Not my scene, but Lola took me shopping. Isis is well known in Savile Row—’

  ‘I can imagine.’

  ‘You look stunning, by the way,’ said Jack and linked arms with the countess. ‘You brought the family jewels along, I see. Fit for a tsarina.’

  ‘You really think so?’ said the countess, obviously pleased about his compliment. ‘Rarely get to wear them these days. So, if not today, then when?’

  ‘Absolutely. It’s great to see everyone turning up. Tristan and Lorenza took time off; Professor Greenberg came over last night with Rebecca and Celia, and even Agabe managed to leave the Caritas and come. Wonderful! And let’s not forget, Isis sent her private jet to fly the entire Genius Club over. Not bad, eh?’

  ‘This is a real celebration, Jack. And a lot of it has only been made possible because of you.’

  ‘Right place, right time; that’s all.’

  ‘Nothing to do with destiny then?’ teased the countess.

  Jack raised an eyebrow. ‘Perhaps just a little. There, look at Isis,’ he said, changing the subject. ‘How she thrives being the centre of attention. Wearing an old-fashioned, double-breasted dinner suit, would you believe, and her short hair parted in the middle. Charlie Chaplin meets Clark Gable. The only thing missing is the moustache. Amazing!’

  ‘You know what they say, once a performer ...’

  ‘Oh yes, I know all about that. I think she’s Lord Elms for the night. Shall we go inside?’

  ‘Let’s.’

  The beautifully restored Old Kitchens next to the Old Hall was the perfect venue for pre-dinner drinks. Most of the guests had already arrived and were chatting in groups and sipping champagne. Jack took a deep breath and looked around. Soaking up the festive atmosphere in the historic room dating back to the fifteenth century, he walked over to Tristan and Lorenza.

  ‘You look absolutely ravishing,’ said Jack and kissed Lorenza on the cheek. ‘Am I still in the bad books?’

  Lorenza rolled her eyes. ‘No, but only if you promise not to drag my husband halfway around the world, exposing him to God knows what kind of danger and turning what should have lasted a few days into several weeks.’

  ‘He volunteered,’ retorted Jack. ‘I didn’t force him.’

  ‘You didn’t have to. It’s your influence I’m worried about, not your powers of persuasion.’

  ‘I promise to do better next time,’ said Jack, trying to look serious.

  ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘We’ll find out next time, I suppose.’

  ‘Stop, or you will get us both into more trouble,’ said Tristan and handed Jack a glass of champagne. ‘Here, that should help.’

  ‘Thanks, mate. Bearing in mind what’s happening here tonight, it was all worth it, don’t you think?’

  ‘Absolutely.’ Tristan lifted his glass. ‘Thanks for the ride, Jack.’

  ‘It’s always a good feeling to have someone like you watch over me. Cheers!’

  ‘You mean someone who can hear the whisper of angels and glimpse eternity?’ said Celia, who had overheard Jack’s remark.

  ‘Exactly. Good flight?’

  ‘Tight schedule.’

  ‘What’s new?’

  ‘Will you excuse us for a moment,’ said Celia. She linked arms with Jack and briefly took him aside. ‘Thanks for everything, Jack. You gave me the opportunity of a lifetime with the Stolzfus matter.’

  ‘Your articles saved my life and rescued Stolzfus. I don’t think the Americans would have acted without them. You were the catalyst.’

  ‘You are both wrong,’ said Tristan, who had come over with Rebecca to join them. ‘It’s destiny, that’s all.’

  ‘He would say that, wouldn’t he?’ said Jack and winked at Celia.

  ‘Jack, can I have a word please?’ said Rebecca.

  ‘Sure. Something wrong?’

  ‘No. Quite the opposite. Isis told me she’s asked you to propose a toast—’

  ‘That’s right. We won’t have any speeches because Zac has to retire early. Doctor’s orders. God knows what today has taken out of him, both physically and emotionally. And besides, all he wants is for everyone to have a good time. I’ve been told to keep it short.’

  ‘Sure, but could you somehow include this?’ Rebecca reached into her handbag and handed Jack a folded sheet of paper.

  ‘Wow! This should make him happy,’ said Jack after he had glanced at the paper. Especially on top of the surprise we have in store for him—’

  ‘What surprise?’ interrupted Rebecca, looking a little alarmed.

  ‘If I were to tell you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?’

  ‘Has anyone told you how exasperating you can be?’

  ‘All the time. I think they want us to go inside and sit down; come.’

  The Old Hall – the college’s beautifully restored original dining hall – was certainly impressive. With its huge fireplace, stained glass windows, wood-panelled walls and stunning, decorated raked ceiling, the hall radiated style, history and class. Long tables seating twenty guests each had been set in traditional college dining hall manner, with one table for ten set at right angles at the front, conjuring up images of formal dinners presided over by stern professors and haughty masters as tradition demanded. The table lamps and subdued lighting reminded Jack of Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Great Hall, only without wizards, and more intimate and inviting. As Stolzfus wasn’t going to stay long and certainly wouldn’t be dining, it had been decided to begin the dinner with a toast in his honour.

  As soon as all the guests were seated, Isis stood up, the accomplished performer in her enjoying the excitement and ripple of expectation around the room as everyone fell silent.

  ‘It gives me great pleasure, my friends,’ began Isis, speaking slowly, ‘to welcome you here tonight to celebrate a truly historic occasion. Professor Stolzfus will join us in a moment but before he does, I must tell you that he will only be able to stay for a short while; doctor’s orders. We will therefore start the evening in a slightly different way. I have asked Jack to say a few words and propose a toast. And he has a little surprise for you as well. After that, there will be no more speeches and Professor Stolzfus will retire. But not us. We will celebrate well into the night and enjoy a wonderful dinner and many a glass of wine to honour a very special man.’ Isis paused and pointed to one of the doors. ‘Here he comes now!’

  Everyone stood up and began to clap enthusiastically as the newly appointed Lucasian Professor of Mathematics entered the hall and manoeuvred his wheelchair across the room to the large fireplace at the far end. From there, he was able to see everyone in the room.

  ‘Thank you for coming, my friends,’ said Stolzfus, his voice sounding distant and strange, and out of place in the formal, yet intimate, atmosphere. ‘I can’t tell you what it means to me to see you all here tonight. As I haven’t quite mastered the art of speaking eloquently through thought alone and still have a long way to go, I decided to leave that to others for the time being. I am much better with numbers, but that would stretch our friendship for sure.’

  Subdued laughter echoed around the room.

  Isis looked at Jack and nodded.

  Jack stood up, cleared his throat and looked at Stolzfus.

  ‘To ask a storyteller to say a few words, propose a toast and “keep it brief” is always risky, but I promise to do my best,’ he began. ‘I had it all worked out and knew exactly what I would say. But then, just before we came into the room, I was handed a note.’ Jack paused and held up a piece of paper and turned to face Stolzfus. ‘This is it here,’ he said. ‘It’s a message from your father. When I read it, my carefully prepared speech paled into insignificance and I decided to let this message
do the talking, because all the eloquence in the world couldn’t equal it and express better what I had hoped to say.’ Jack, an experienced public speaker, paused again to let the anticipation grow.

  ‘“Words cannot describe how proud I am of you and what you’ve achieved, my son”,’ he began to read. ‘“My only regret is that your dear mother isn’t here to see it. When I first saw you in your wheelchair, my heart sank and I thought that your life as we knew it was over. But how wrong I was. Often the path we have to follow is difficult to understand and paved with nails. Yours had more than most could bear. Yet, you never gave up and didn’t despair, and never lost sight of who you are and where you were heading. You were given a precious gift: an extraordinary mind capable of extraordinary things. At first, I struggled with what you were doing and what you were hoping to achieve. When you told me as a boy that one day you would know the mind of God, I didn’t understand and thought it was blasphemy. But again, how wrong I was. It wasn’t blasphemy, but quite the opposite. To want to understand something like that, is to honour it. And you have done just that in a big way, and I can now see that this wouldn’t have been possible without God’s will and without a path paved with nails. When I was a boy, my father told me something as we were toiling in the fields one hot summer afternoon. I had slipped and fallen and badly hurt my knee. I have never forgotten what he said and would like to share it with you now on this, your big day. What he told me is in fact an old Amish saying: Difficulty is a miracle in its first stage. As long as you remember that, you will never lose your way and will always be able to cope with anything life throws in your path, because the miracle is still to come. Your loving father, Amos”.’

  At first there was complete silence, then the hall reverberated with thunderous applause, but Stolzfus kept staring into the distance – his face expressionless and silent – like a sculpture in one of Madame Tussauds’ wax museums. Yet inside, his heart was jumping with joy. He had just been handed a precious gift he had longed for ever since he was a boy: the approval of the father he loved and admired, but from whom he had grown apart over the years.