Cinnamon

by ChaShiree M.

  She told me when I asked her what her plans for her life was, because she cannot live in my spare room indefinitely, she laughed and told me I was no better than mom and dad. That hurt, although she will never know it. The one thing I never wanted to become is my parents. Not because there is something wrong them. They are actually sort of great. But the issue has always been that they are the center of one another’s world. Where does that leave the children? Somewhere on the outside trying to find a space to squeeze in. Me, I found my place on the outside reading books. Lissy, well she found it by seeking negative attention. The kind my parents couldn’t ignore.

  She then went on to explain that she wants to open a tattoo parlor. When I grimaced and made a face she shut down, and immediately I felt guilty. Maybe I am a bit judgmental when it comes to her.

  Crap. I vow to fix that. After an apology and a bit more prompting, I convince her to continue.

  Apparently, this tattoo shop would be run and operated by women only. It will be a high-end shop, that also offers beautification services such as hair and nails. She is hoping to get a piercer in as well. But the jewelry she would sell would not be cheap stainless steel, but real gold and platinum. Catering to the rock and roll stars, actress, and such. Although this in and of itself is slightly impressive, it was the last bit she shared that shocked the hell out of me.

  Apparently, she wants to charge the high end so on the side, pro bono, three days a month she can close the shop and only open it to breast cancer survivors, who want a tattoo to cover their mastectomy. On these days she would also have high end boutique owners come and fit them for wigs, clothes, makeup, and anything else she could find free of charge. I mean, Holy Shit! Talk about being mind-blown. I pretty much decided I am going to be her first investor by the end of that conversation and it is a gift she doesn’t need to pay back. I think her idea is brilliant and I would be dumb not jump on board. I was going to put her in touch with Aleeza, because well let’s be honest, those two need to meet.

  Pulling up to the hotel from the airport, I am exhausted. Which is unusual for me. I literally can run on 10 hours of sleep a week. That is how we built this company was on no sleep, loads of caffeine and twinkies. So, me being so tired is an anomaly, but then again, I shouldn’t be surprised with the amount of non-sleeping me and Brad do every night. Luckily my first meeting is not for a few hours, so I am going to use the time to catch a nap.

  When I get to my room the first thing I see is bouquet of Gardenias and some Godiva chocolate. That man sure knows the way to my heart and… other parts. Lol.

  “Hey babe. Thank you so much for the flowers and chocolate. How do you always know what I need before I do?”

  “That is what a real man does, baby. He anticipates the needs of his woman and takes care of it before the issue or need arises. Now get some rest before your meeting. Call me when you are done for the night. Love you baby.”

  Swoon.

  “I will babe. I love you too.”

  You would think that as soon as my head hit the pillow I would have passed out and been out cold. Wrong. I did knock out as soon as my head hit the pillow, but that lasted for all of 45 minutes and then I begin to get restless. I get up to go over the notes for today and other meetings contracts I have later in the week. I never get nervous and don’t think that is the case right now, but I still have this nagging anxiety like I lost something or forgot something. Oh well.

  After spending some time going over the fine points, I take a shower, get dressed, and go down for my meeting. Still exhausted but eager to get it over with, so I can go home. Traveling used to be my favorite part of the life I lead, but since Brad, I find I don’t like being away from home. I also cannot wait to have this unpleasantness over with today. The man I am meeting with is most certainly a sexist pig and although I knew I was going to turn down his proposal within the first five minutes of reading, one thing I learned is to never act in haste. So, I waited and then decided I wanted to come and see his smug face when I turned down his proposal.

  “Good afternoon Mr. Blakely. Mr. Ross. How are you gentlemen this evening?”

  “Very well, thank you. How are you Miss Evergreen?” He asks with a slight hint of boredom. Asshole.

  “I am doing well. Shall we begin gentleman?”

  “Of course. We take it you have had time to look over our proposal?”

  “Indeed, I have. I must say, it is an exciting venture and whomever decides to take you up on the offer will have a great time trying to hone that market. However, at this time Five Dames Incorporated would like to pass.”

  “WHAT? Pass? Do you know what kind of opportunity I am trying to give you? See, this why I never try to do business with women. However, someone told me you were an easy sell, so I thought eh, why the hell not. But this is bullshit”

  “Mr. Ross would you please lower your tone of voice. And yes. I understand the opportunity you ‘thought’ you were giving us. However, your vision of an adult ‘toy’ empire, though fun is not the image Five Dames is interested in nor is it original to be frank. Although we acknowledge there is a market for it currently, let’s be honest. Once the 50 Shades of Grey craze is no longer as prevalent, your ‘empire’ will crumble with it.”

  “Fucking stupid bitches. All of you.”

  “Excuse me? What did you just call me?”

  “Ok everyone, calm down. My colleague didn’t mean anything by it, Miss Evergreen.”

  “Like hell I didn’t. Women wouldn’t know what a good deal is if it slid up their twat. Fucking cunt.”

  “Listen here you washed up sexist pig…you know what, I am more of a lady than you ever were a man and I have the company to prove it. I will not stoop to your level my friend, nor will I be your come up in the cheapest way possible and I trust you will lose my companies name and number. I would wish you luck in your endeavor, but we both know it was a nonstarter before you even contacted me. Now gentleman, if there is nothing else I have a greasy burger calling my name and a bed. Good Day.”

  With that and an invisible snap in my head, I walked out the door with my head held high. On the inside I am shaking, upset, and have lost my appetite. But, I would never let them know that. I wish Brad was here and am contemplating what to tell him about the meeting, when my phone rings. Speak of the devil. I need to try and sound normal. No telling how he would react to that little tidbit.

  “Hey babe. Wass up?”

  “Wass up? Do not play me, Cinn. That motherfucker called you a bitch and a cunt in the same breath? He is done. I have always disliked that pig, but now he fucked with the woman of the wrong man. He is done. Are you ok?” How the hell?

  “How the heck did you find out? I literally just left the building?”

  “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t answer the question. Are you ok?”

  “Yes. I’m fine. It’s fine. No big deal.”

  “Bullshit baby. It is a big fucking deal and my father said the same thing.”

  “You father? Why the hell does he know?” What the hell is going on?

  “Don’t worry about it. Are you headed home tonight?”

  “I mean, I wasn’t going to. I was going to wait until tomorrow. That is when my ticket is for.”

  “I will have you on the next flight out. I need to see you. Hold you. Someone just verbally attacked you and I wasn’t there. Baby, I need to fuck you and claim you all over again. Need to feel like a man again. You understand?” Oh hell. My nipples harden instantly, and I can’t help but squeeze my thighs together as his words wash over me.

  “Yes Brad. I understand.” Even to my own ears my voice sounds husky and heavy with desire. Time to go home to my man.

  “YOU CAN’T DO THIS O’DONNELL. Who the hell do you think you are?” It has been three weeks since this piece of shit insulted my woman and I can finally give him, his just due.

  “It would appear I can. I now own your company lock stock and barrel. Your measly 10% share means nothing you piece of shit. Maybe,
next time you will think about that before you insult another woman. You never know who on the other side of that door is loving and protecting her.”

  “Oh, so because she spreads her legs for you…”

  Suddenly, I am up and over my desk with my hands wrapped around his neck. My mind sees nothing but a red haze as his words run over and over in my head. This lowlife thinks he can say anything he wants. Calling my woman, a whore and there will be no consequences? I can barely register him trying to pry my hands from his neck, but it is not until my father and security are dragging me back from him that some of the fog begins to clear and I can calm myself.

  “Your finished O’Donnell. I am going to press charges. You’re done.” His threats though serious should shake me, but all I feel right now is righteous anger at his lack of respect for my future wife. I am about ready to go at him again, but my father supersedes.

  “I would reign in yourself, Adam. Your affair with your secretary is no secret, but the fact that you fathered three of her kids is. I would think about what that information would do in the hands of your wife.”

  Well shit. My old man is packing some ammo of his own I see. Limp dick asshole finally gets the picture and exits stage left. Finally feeling a little like myself, I turn to my father to apologize.

  “I’m sorry dad. I know I lost it and it reflects badly on not only the family but the company as well.”

  “Son listen to me. I would think less of you if you didn’t react that way. I am proud of you and the man you have become. I know you will protect her and treat her as you should. So, when are you going to ask her?”

  “Tonight. I think. She has been a bit under the weather, so we will see.”

  “Well congratulations and I cannot wait to finally have a daughter. You boys are a handful.”

  “Whatever old man. And dad…thanks.” When I finally leave the office, I run over to the flower shop and make sure everything is on schedule and ready to go. After getting reassurance from the shop owner, I run home to get ready for the rest.

  After taking a shower and having the interior decorator come over and set the ambiance and flowers arranged the way I envisioned; I begin to feel nervous and jittery like a teenage girl. I mean, I am not nervous about her but about her answer. I know she loves me just as much as I love her, but what if she hasn’t gotten over her insecurities enough to say yes? Well, then I will have to get creative in order to convince her I guess. There is no way this night ends with any other outcome other than her agreeing to be my wife.

  “I’M SORRY. THERE MUST BE some mistake. Maybe you have my test results mixed up with someone else’s. We should retake them.”

  “I assure you Cinnamon. I retook them because I knew you would be like this. It is no mistake. You are pregnant.” Holy Shit!!!! Pregnant. I mean… definitely not what I was expecting to hear when I came here.

  “How can that be? I am on the pill.”

  “My guess is that when you had the flu a few weeks ago, even though you were taking the pill you were also throwing up and it wasn’t staying down as a result. If you engaged in intercourse during that time, well now you have it.” Pregnant. A baby. I am going to have a baby. I am going to be a mom. Holy shit!!!

  “Are you ok? Is this not good news? You do have options you know. Would you like to go into my office and discuss your options?”

  “Oh, no thank you. I am a bit shocked, but there is no other option. Uhm… What do I need to do next?”

  “Well since your here, how would you like to have an ultrasound to take with you and share? And we can hear your baby’s heartbeat and measure you. Get a due date. Sound good?”

  A part of me feels guilty about doing this without Brad, but I figure what better way to surprise him than with this picture and something else, I will figure out on the way. I follow the doctor into the room and put on the gown. She raises the gown and puts this gel on my stomach and a wand looking thing.

  “Ok, so let’s take a look. Ah, here you go. There is your baby.”

  My breath stills. My heart stops and my head expands. Then, in unison like a finely tuned machine it all begins to work again, and suddenly it has expanded to include this little human in my belly. The tears begin to form, and I don’t bother trying to hide it. This is the single most significant moment to ever happen to me. Even more so than starting my business. This moment right here will be what changes my life forever.

  “Let’s hear the heartbeat.”

  She pushes a few buttons, moves the wand around, and suddenly it sounds like I am underwater in a submarine listening to the ocean. It is quite a peaceful sound to be honest, and one I want to savor and burrow into. That is the sound of life being harvested and protected by my very own body. My body, that I have always been critical of and have never appreciated is performing one of life miracles right this second. It doesn’t get more badass than that.

  “So, according to my measurements you are about six weeks along.”

  “Seriously? How is it I didn’t know?”

  “Well, some women don’t get symptoms until right at this point. I will print your pictures for you to take home. Make an appointment to see me in another 6 weeks. Congratulations Cinnamon. You will make a terrific mom. Don’t forget your prenatal vitamins on the way out.”

  Walking to the car is a blur. I have no idea how I got there. My mind’s blown. But at the same time, I am so happy and full. Despite everything else, me and the man I love have made a baby. The funny thing is, not once during this whole hour-long mind fuck did I doubt Brads reaction. It feels good to not have that be one of the things I need to worry about. I know without a shadow of a doubt, he will be by my side. Brad is going to make an awesome dad and let’s not talk about his parents. Oh boy.

  On the way home, I stop by a Motherhood Maternity store and pick up a baby onesie that says, “Cute like mom, strong like dad.” I have its gift wrapped along with the pictures of the ultrasound.

  Feeling exhausted by the time I pull up to Brads, I sit in the car for a second trying to wrap my mind around this day. When I feel like my emotions have calmed down a bit, I get out the car and use the key he gave me to open the door. I expect to be greeted by him. But that is not what I see.

  The vision before me is simply breathtaking. The entire living room, dining room, and foyer is covered in blue and white orchids and candles. The lights have been turned down bathing the room in an effervescent glow. I know I am supposed to move further into the room, but all of the emotions that I have been holding in since the doctor, comes to the surface and I stand in that spot and bawl my eyes out.

  I cry for the little girl who never thought she was good enough, for the teenager who didn’t try to connect to anyone, for the young adult that felt different and awkward, and for the grown woman who has found someone to love her unconditionally and has made her love herself.

  When I finally get myself under control, I move further into the room. When I turn the corner, there he is on his knees holding a box with a ring in it looking at me like I hung the moon and stars for him.

  The great thing about it is, I look at him the same way.

  “Hey, baby.”

  “Hey you.” I can barely say those words. I am an emotional wreck right now.

  “Cinn. I could kneel here and give you beautiful words and poems and stuff, and although it would all be beautiful it wouldn’t be me or us. I love you baby. You have made my life full, vibrant, and worth so much more than money could ever buy. I was born and put here on this earth to love, cherish, and protect you. Would you do me the incredible honor of being my wife?”

  As if that was a serious question.

  “Of course, I will my love. I love you so much. You are a wonderful man and an even better friend, partner, and protector. Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”

  He places the ring on my finger, stands up, and wraps me in his arms. We embrace for what seems like forever, but still not long enough. When he grabs my head to kiss me my body light
s up. It knows its master and it anticipates the moment we touch and what is to come. Our kiss is broken however, by the sound of the box falling to the floor.

  Crap. With the surprise when I walked in, I almost forgot. I bend down to retrieve the box.

  “This for you.”

  “You got me something too? What is it?”

  “Just open it.”

  Like a kid in a candy store, I am bouncing on my toes waiting on him to open this box. When he finally gets it open, it takes a second for him to realize what he is seeing and the meaning of the shirt. But, the moment the light goes off in his mind, he knows.

  “Your pregnant? We’re going to have a baby? Holy Shit, Cinn.”

  He falls to his knees and brings his head to my stomach. He lays his head there for a second before gently placing a kiss on it. Looking down at this strong virile man, as he worships the womb that houses the child we made has tears falling down my face. Great. Is this going to be the new state of things? I am going to cry over everything?

  Without warning, the mood in the room changes. It becomes thick with want when I see the glint in his eye. Full of mischief, love, and lust.

  “Take your clothes off baby. It’s time to celebrate.”

  And that is what we did. Together we worshipped one another as we made plans for our future.

  I never knew love could feel so good.

  It feels weird, but it has been six weeks roughly since the girls and I have gone out. Between the preparations for the launch of our new scents, the new hybrid formula, and our personal lives, we have barely seen each other or talked. So, tonight we are going out and I am going to use this time to give them all my news. They know of the engagement. I couldn’t hold that in. We all screamed and jumped up and down when I showed them, and of course they immediately began planning my wedding. What I didn’t tell them about was the baby. Not that I am ashamed or anything, because I am over the moon to be pregnant, but I just wasn’t ready to share. So, tonight is the night.