I hated those nights, lying in my own bed, wondering if she was okay, worrying that her father had taken his anger out on her. I remember all the times I tried to protect her from him. One time, I broke his nose. I saw red when he dragged her to their car out front of the school. Everyone saw, and no one did a thing about it. I punched him straight in the face, and the coward dropped like a sack of shit, yet I was the one who was suspended. No cops were called, and the headmaster even apologised to him on my behalf, knowing the prick wouldn’t get one from me. There wouldn’t have been a single reason that would have made me apologise. He deserved it.
Lying here with Sara in my arms, I finally have everything I wanted, yet when I close my eyes, it’s Tor I see. She was there, and it didn’t take long for me to like her being so close. Then I see Angel, making her smile and talking to her for hours. It sparks a burning fire in my gut.
I’m fucked.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Victoria
Another fucking day, but I’m determined not to let Luca ruin my visit with Pope. I don’t think about seeing him wrapped up with his perfect Sara. I don’t think about seeing them talking with one another, remembering the times it felt like drawing blood from a stone just to get a conversation from him myself.
Hell, I can’t stop thinking about every scenario. My mom once told me if a boy breaks my heart, don’t give them the chance to try and heal it, because if he truly cared for me, he wouldn’t have anything to heal. Luca’s broken my heart so many times. We’ve been through so much, but I have to let it go—let him go. I told him the lie because he’s bad for me. One thing I do know, though, with certainty is that I’m better off alone.
Sitting on the porch with my coffee in hand, I close my eyes, wishing I could hear the birds chirping on the tree branches. This land my grandpa gave me is my haven.
Getting the sense that someone’s approaching, I open my eyes and see Emma’s car coming up the drive, Myles riding in behind her on his motorcycle.
Setting down my coffee, I walk over to the top step and down to Emma’s car. Opening the back door, I unclip Penelope from her car seat and inhale the strawberry scent clinging to her hair. She’s the one person in my life who doesn’t realise I’m different now.
Myles is here to give me a ride to the club, and Emma’s here to check up on me. Hey, I’m not stupid. My actions have caused this, and I’ll keep my mouth shut for a while so they can feel better, knowing they’re doing all they can.
Waving to Myles, he tips his chin and lights a cigarette as Emma climbs out from the driver’s side.
“You okay?” she asks.
Nodding, I put Penelope down, and she over toward Myles.
“Are you staying a while, or are we leaving now?”
“Myles wants to get to the club. I’m just tagging along.”
I head inside and collect my bag, making sure I have my keys to lock up. Emma’s putting Penelope back into her car seat, and I decide to hop on the back of Myles’ bike.
I love Emma, I truly do, but sometimes, like today, I don’t have the energy to speak… or sign.
On the long, nearly deserted road, Myles picks up speed, and I let myself enjoy the wind whipping through my hair.
The club gates open as we approach, and the first thing I notice are the workers changing the windows over on the main house. Climbing off the bike, I sign slowly, “What’s going on?” and point toward the house.
Myles struggles to keep up if I sign too fast, so I’m always conscious to slow my movements.
“Cas is having bulletproof windows installed.”
My dad said a few weeks ago that Cas was going to be installing new safety measures around the club.
Wandering into the bar while Myles helps Emma get Penelope out of the car, I look around for Grandpa, but he’s nowhere in sight. Since he knows I’ll be here, I take a seat at the bar and wait for him to show. More importantly, Luca and Sara aren’t here, and that’s enough to let me relax.
This club has been the biggest part of my life since the day I was born. The fact that Luca and I have a history shouldn’t, and will not, put a damper on my visits going forward.
And like a bad omen, the man himself jogs down the stairs with his perfect Sara close behind him. He stops abruptly when his feet hit the floor, and his gaze settles on me. Looking back to Sara, he points her to the kitchen, I quickly look away before he can accuse me of staring, but it’s not long before he’s at my side, gripping my chin and guiding it up so I have to look at him.
His stare weighs heavy on my heart, and I burn to look away. After a moment of staring at each other,
he drops his hand and signs, “I’m sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused you.”
My breath feels like it’s lodged in my throat. He’s sorry?
He looks over his shoulder, and I follow his line of sight. Of course he’s looking at her.
I’m still staring at her hovering in the kitchen doorway when he turns back to me. As if he’s waiting for me to look at him, I give him my attention, frowning when he moves his lips and says, “I’m sorry.”
Then he’s walking away, always away from me. Ushering her into the kitchen, he closes the door behind them.
What the hell was that? Was that him saying goodbye? His way of telling me he’s with Sara now, and that he’s completely moved on?
“I’ll get a prospect to take you home,” Myles signs as Angel walks through the door.
“Don’t bother. I’ll hang around for a while.”
Watching Angel settle in at the bar, I kiss Grandpa on the cheek and wander over to the guy who made me smile the other day.
Sliding onto the stool beside him, he gives me a side glance before focusing on the liquor bottles behind the bar. He knows I need to see his face in order to have a conversation. Tapping him on the shoulder, he’s almost hesitant to look at me, like he’s forcing himself to do it. Did I get it wrong the other day when he walked me to my car and asked to see me again?
I’m fed up with getting it wrong when it comes to guys. I’m not doing it anymore.
Sliding off the stool, my feet have barely hit the floor when he reaches out and grabs onto my wrist.
When he has my full attention, he quickly releases me and signs, “I’m sorry, I’m being rude.”
“Bad day?”
He shakes his head. “No, but I’ve gotta ask, are you connected to any of the brothers in the club?”
“Only the ones I’m related to.”
Catching sight of Luca leaving the kitchen, with a look of disgust on his face, I don’t need to ask why he’s asking. I’d put money on Luca saying something to him.
Question is, why?
Sara looks between Luca and me, her curiosity clear. I’m so done with the both of them. Luca was never mine, and like he said goodbye earlier, I’m saying goodbye too. I’m so ready to move on.
Turning back to Angel, I tell him, “I live out by the creek. You should stop by sometime.”
His smile, bright and enticing, grows. “I’ll do that.”
Shooting a look so fast past me, I’m surprised he doesn’t hurt his neck, he tells me, “Cas is calling me. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
Nodding, I slide back onto the stool and watch him walk over to Cas and Sparky. I’m pleasantly surprised to see he has a nice ass too.
I’ll never fall in love again, but Angel could definitely be a distraction I need. At least I can talk to him.
* * *
SARA
You’d have to be blind not to see there’s something lingering between Luca and Victoria. For starters, he can’t keep his eyes off of her whenever she’s around, and I catch her looking his way just as much. He tells me nothing about them, which has me wanting to ask more questions.
I need to know what I’m stepping in on, and since he won’t tell me, I’ll ask her myself. Over my shoulder, I make sure Luca isn’t looking and walk over to Victoria. Her slender frame is what models are envious of, an
d her long, wavey blonde hair is thick and shiny. She’s beautiful, there’s no denying it.
She watches me approach her with wary brown eyes, and I swallow thickly as I stop in front of her.
Clearing my throat, I jump right into it. “I don’t know if you remember me? I’m Sara Lancaster.”
I get nothing from her. She just stares, her lips pressed in a firm line.
“I just wanted to say hi, and that I know you and Luca had something going on. He doesn’t tell me anything, but I’ve seen the way the two of you look at each other. Is there something I should know about?”
Her continued silence fills me with a little anxiety, but I babble on regardless to try and fill the awkward silence. “Whatever it was is none of my business, but if there’s something still going on, I just need to know.”
Again, not a word leaves her mouth. Taking a deep breath, I’m about to give up when my frustration explodes.
“I’ll take your silence as there’s nothing going on. I’m planning on staying in town and being with Luca, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped the staring when you see us.”
She has to come back with something now, but I get nothing. She doesn’t say a single word, but her stare is unnerving. What the hell is her problem? She’s so rude.
One of her brothers—I can’t remember his name—comes over and stands in front of her.
My jaw nearly hits the floor when he starts signing to her. She’s deaf! She wasn’t being rude, she just couldn’t hear me.
She signs something back to him and laughs. The sinister smirk on his lips when he looks over at me sends a shiver down my spine. Without so much as an acknowledgement, Victoria walks outside, leaving me with her brother.
I’m mortified.
“I didn’t know she was deaf,” I blurt out before he walks off.
“She can still lip read. She said to tell you, she hopes you and Luca will be very happy together.”
I’m pretty sure she said a lot more than that, but I don’t push for confirmation.
Noticing him looking me up and down, his nose flaring with slight disgust, I take a step back.
“But I’m telling you, this won’t be your happy ending with Jackson, not when the one he loves isn’t you. And trust me, it’s hard for me to say that.”
“What do you know about it?” I challenge.
“Obviously more than you, darlin’. But because I’m a prick, I’m going to let you find out the hard way, and hopefully, he makes you cry as many times as he did my sister.”
He goes to walk away, and I reach out and grab onto his hoodie. “Luca loves me, he always has.” I know he does. He admitted he thought of me every day. No one lingers in your mind if you’re not in their heart for that long.
Raising his brow, he stares at my fingers, but I don’t let go. Yanking his arm free, he says arrogantly, “I’m sure he does, but it sure as shit doesn’t mean he’s in love with you. My opinion, he never got closure, which is the only reason why he would think of you. Mark my words, you might have been his first love, but my sister will be his last.”
My mouth opens and closes, but no words come out. I can’t think of a single thing to say to that.
“Ask him why he begged my old lady to teach him how to sign so he could still talk to my sister.”
Chuckling, he walks off, but I don’t try to stop him this time. When I turn, I come face-to-face with Luca, who drags me into the kitchen and slams the door shut.
My back hits the wall and I freeze.
“Why were you talking to Tor?”
“I was hoping to get answers from her that you won’t give me.”
Bracing his arm on the wall above my head, his face is mere inches from mine. This is Luca, he’d never hurt me.
“You don’t need to know anything.”
“I just want to know what she was, or is, to you.”
“She was a fuck,” he grinds out, but I see the flicker in his eyes. He’s lying. He felt more than lust for her. A wave of jealousy hits me at the thought of them together.
“Was? And now?”
I can’t ignore the way he looks at her.
“I’m going to say this once, so listen. What I had with Tor is over, and was over before you came back.”
Placing my hand on his cheek, I swallow my insecurities and choose to believe him.
“Okay.”
Chapter Thirty
Luca
With Victoria gone, I can breathe and focus on Sara. I twiddle the ends of her hair, not a flower or bead in sight.
“What happened when you left me?”
It’s the only question I’ve been burning to ask since she came back.
“For a while, I stayed in motels using the money I took from you. It was so much money, but I knew it wouldn’t last, so I spent as little as possible. I picked up waitressing jobs, and one time I got a job at a motel I was staying at, cleaning the rooms. I struggled to keep up with school, but I managed to find a local charity that helped runaway teens. I ate when I had to, spent money only when I had to. I saved more than I ever spent, and after I turned eighteen, the charity helped me rent an apartment, and I worked every shift I could pick up. At night, I’d write my stories.”
“How did you go from waitressing to writing full-time?”
“I followed some of my favourite authors on social media and saw they independently published their work online. I debated for ages. I had the cost of editors, formatters, and cover designers. It was one night, I had just finished the worst shift ever, and I thought fuck it. I found some amazing women in all the right fields, and the rest is history.”
The smile on her face while she speaks tells me she’s happy with where her life has led her. It also tells me her staying in Willow’s Peak won’t make her happy.
“Aren’t you missing your new life?”
Her smile is replaced with a frown. “Is that you saying you want me to leave?”
I see her paranoia is still there, deep down. I roll my eyes, wishing I could stomp on the doubts that creep around her mind.
“I am missing it, but being here with you takes the sting away.”
“You’re going to have to go home at some point.”
“Maybe you could come with me? We always talked about getting out of this town.”
Once upon a time, I was prepared to leave Willow’s Peak with her, but not now. My place is here. It’s rare when I do, but when I look into the future, I see the club and my family. Tor’s smile pops up, flooding my mind, but I shake my head to rid myself of the image and focus on Sara. She doesn’t belong here, and I won’t ever leave. Living up shit street sounds about right.
“Luca? Are you listening?”
“What?”
“Is leaving town something you still think about?”
This conversation is leading to a dead end. Grabbing her hand, I pull her with me and lead her outside. At her car, I swing her around to face me, her expression wary of what I’m doing. Letting go of her hand, I hold onto her face.
“I’m happy you’re safe now, and you’ve made a good life for yourself. You need to return to it.”
Her brows knit together in confusion. “I don’t understand… I’m here for you.”
“You’re here for the past me, but he doesn’t exist anymore.”
Leaning around her, I open her door, but she kicks it shut.
“You never did belong here, and you don’t now. But I do.”
“Luca…”
I stroke her cheek, her skin as soft as I remember. “We were never meant to be. This is the goodbye we should’ve had.”
When I step back, she moves forward, latching her fingers onto my shirt.
“A goodbye I don’t want, Luca. Seeing you again, I can’t walk away. I don’t want to.”
“We’re not kids anymore—” Her lips crash onto mine, and my first instinct is to pull away, but the younger me moves his hands into her hair and clasps the back of her head.
Her tongue
sweeps over mine, and the need to deepen the kiss takes over. Yet the way she’s kissing me screams, she wants soft and gentle. Tor would’ve matched my hunger, fighting and taking whatever she wanted.
The two couldn’t be any more different. Kissing Tor shouldn’t be what I’m thinking about, and it doesn’t feel right kissing Sara with another girl in my head. Pulling away, the desperation to continue fills her eyes, but I’m distracted by someone clearing their throat behind us.
Fuck me. It’s Mason and Myles.
“Go back into the bar,” I tell Sara. She doesn’t argue, probably glad I’m not trying to send her away.
“You know, you need a unanimous vote for the patch,” Mason feels the need to inform me.
Myles picks at his fingernails and drawls, “I’m not in a giving mood with my votes, especially to assholes who hurt my sister.”
Laughing, I take a step closer to them. Show one inch of weakness in front of the twins and they’ll eat you alive.
“If I wanted, I’d be seeing your sister any time, any place, and I’d still get both your votes. If you want to be assholes about it, you know I’ll fight back.”
Mason’s glare is more sinister than Myles’, but there’s no doubt they’re both up for a fight.
“What’s going on here?” The three of us look to Mom and Bonnie as they make their way toward us.
Mom’s gaze is more sceptical than Bonnie’s, and she’s waiting for an answer.
“Not much. These two were just telling me I should be patched in already.”
Her brow arches, and she looks over the twins. “Is that so?”
“Sure, Aunt Lana,” the twins say simultaneously, throwing her wicked smirks.
Rolling her eyes, she looks to me. “Luca, a word?”
She walks off toward the main house, expecting me to follow, and I do. It’s my mom.
His Twisted Heart : Sons of Lost Souls MC Series Book Nine Page 19