Doubt and Division

by Kate Barton

  Elizabeth frowned slightly. Pemberley? Mr Darcy’s estate? She had no desire to ever set foot in the place, if she could help it. If its owner was anything to go by, Pemberley would be a grand and imposing place, but have little heart.

  Against her will, her eyes were drawn to the man himself. Mr Darcy was still standing by the fire, leaning against the mantelpiece. She jumped, just a little, to see him staring at her, an intense expression in his eyes. Really, why must he always do that? She was very well aware of how much she displeased him, and how her family and connections offended his sensibilities. Even Jane, who no one ever had reason to dislike, had borne the brunt of his distaste for the Bennetts.

  She turned back to the piano, ignoring him. She could not help if he chose to stare at her, in such a rude manner, but she didn’t have to acknowledge it.

  “I have never had the pleasure of visiting Pemberley,” she said now. “I imagine that it must be impressive indeed! I have heard that Mr Darcy has a younger sister, who he is guardian of?”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam bowed slightly. “Georgiana. I am guardian of my cousin, as well.”

  Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You have joint guardianship? How perfectly lovely! I am sure that Miss Georgiana Darcy is all affability and grace, with two such diligent guardians watching over her.”

  The Colonel stared at her with a puzzled air. Elizabeth could see he wasn’t sure if she was teasing him or not. He was a serious man, the Colonel. She didn’t imagine that he laughed a lot, or found enjoyment in frivolous pursuits. In that, she was sure that he was perfectly matched with Miss Anne de Bourgh.

  Was she imagining the connection? He had just been staring at her, of that she was sure; but someone else might say that she was mistaken and he was merely staring at the party in general. Anne was sitting close to her mother and the others, after all. He could have been staring at any one of them, or all of them. So that in itself wasn’t proof of anything.

  Her mind cast back to dinner and if they had interacted with each other, in the smallest way. The conversation had been dominated by Lady Catherine, of course, but had the Colonel and Miss de Bourgh turned to each other at all? Even to remark on the weather? She didn’t think so. She didn’t think that they had said one word to each other.

  But that meant nothing. No one interacted with Anne de Bourgh, not really; she was completely overshadowed by her mother, and besides, that very mother discouraged people from talking to Anne. Elizabeth had tried to initiate conversation with Anne, but had been silenced by a fierce look from Lady Catherine. She could feel the disapproval emanating from her in waves.

  Anne had smiled a little at Elizabeth, though. Elizabeth could see that she was grateful to her for at least trying. But she would have to try harder. There was no way that she would have the opportunity to speak to the young woman in company. She would have to seek her out by stealth, when she was presented with the opportunity. Mr Collins and Charlotte would disapprove, of course, but that was only because they were so under the thumb of Lady Catherine. And Elizabeth hardly cared about procuring the great lady’s good opinion.

  Elizabeth looked at the Colonel, affixing him with a dazzling smile. “We have talked at length about the impressive nature of Rosings,” she said, “and how it would entice you to visit regularly. But it mustn’t be the estate alone that lures you here, Colonel.”

  The Colonel’s eyes widened, slightly. A faint look of alarm entered them. “What might you be inferring, Miss Bennet?”

  Elizabeth smiled again. “Only that it proves your warm connection to your aunt, Colonel Fitzwilliam! What else could I be referring to?”

  The Colonel smiled. He looked relieved. “Of course, of course. I am very fond of my aunt, Miss Bennet. It is always my great pleasure to wait on her.”

  “Naturally,” Elizabeth said. “And you must be very pleased at the engagement between Mr Darcy and Miss de Bourgh.” She looked at him sharply.

  The Colonel paled slightly. “It is very good tidings, indeed.” He stopped, staring down at the top of the piano.

  “Miss de Bourgh is lovely,” Elizabeth said. “I had the pleasure of speaking to her in the garden, just the other day. She is brimming with intelligence, and such a soft and gentle nature.”

  “She has the gentlest nature I have ever had the pleasure to encounter,” the Colonel said. “Her heart is always in the right place. She speaks with the utmost intelligence and conviction.” His eyes shone as he spoke.

  “She doesn’t leave Rosings very often, does she?”

  The Colonel shook his head. “Not often. Lady Catherine is always concerned that she will take ill, but I know that it frustrates Anne, just a little. She feels that she can do more than she is allowed to.”

  “That would be frustrating,” Elizabeth agreed. “Lady Catherine seems a little over protective, wouldn’t you agree?”

  The Colonel’s fists clenched on the top of the piano. “She means well,” he said. “But she doesn’t see that Anne is perfectly capable of making decisions, and leading her own life. She is not the invalid that she is made out to be. If Anne were free to choose the path of her own life…”

  “…she would choose differently?” Elizabeth looked at him. “Or choose a different fiancée?”

  The Colonel paled, again. “I cannot speak for Miss de Bourgh,” he said. He looked scared, as if he had revealed too much.

  But, as Elizabeth watched him, it was as if he couldn’t resist any longer. He turned back to Anne, searching her out. At that moment, Anne turned her head and their eyes locked together in a fierce gaze.

  “You love her, don’t you?” whispered Elizabeth.

  He nodded, miserably. “I have always loved her,” he said, softly. “It is the reason that I come to Rosings. We have always known that it is fruitless, though. Anne has been destined to marry Darcy from the cradle. Both of their mothers planned it. We have never had a choice.”

  Elizabeth felt tears come into her eyes. “But what if you were to approach Lady Catherine? Surely, if she saw how much you love each other she would concede that it would be the best decision for everyone! You are as close to her as Mr Darcy is.”

  “I do not have Darcy’s wealth,” the Colonel said. “It would not be as an impressive match, if Anne and I were to become engaged. And even at such a short acquaintance, you must know my aunt’s nature, Miss Bennet. When she is set on a course of action, she cannot be distracted from it. No, the engagement must continue. There is no way out of it.”

  Elizabeth sighed deeply. “I am very pained to hear such a tale,” she said, slowly. “My own sister and her beloved were recently separated from each other, permanently it seems. And I suspect Mr Darcy of playing a key role in it.”

  “Do you mean Charles Bingley?” the Colonel asked. “Darcy has spoken of it. Apparently, he said that the girl’s family were objectionable.”

  Elizabeth felt a deep wave of anger sweep over her. There! She had her proof about Darcy. She had known it all along. There wasn’t much that she could do about Jane and Mr Bingley, not yet at any rate. But she could try, with all her might, to see that Colonel Fitzwilliam and Anne de Bourgh might have a chance.

  Chapter Six

  Elizabeth pinched herself under the table, trying desperately to stay awake. It was only the first course and she was already bored to distraction.

  It was going to be another long, tedious dinner at Rosings; the second time that they had dined there this week. Her mind cast back to that last dinner, when she had played the piano afterwards and Colonel Fitzwilliam had confessed his love for Anne de Bourgh. She had gone back to the parsonage that night in a deep state of anger, at Lady Catherine for what she had done to her poor daughter, but also at Mr Darcy. The man who had caused the separation of her dear sister Jane and Mr Bingley. The man who had caused Mr Wickham such hardship. And now, on top of all of that, he had agreed to marry his cousin, who he did not love, and was causing the separation of Anne and the Colonel.


  She turned towards that man, who was calmly sipping his cucumber soup. How could he live with himself? And yet, he continued his meal as if he hadn’t a care in the world! As if he felt her gaze on him, his eyes looked up, and he turned to her. Their eyes met for a moment, before Elizabeth looked quickly away. She didn’t want to have to smile at him, even out of politeness.

  “I have an announcement,” Lady Catherine boomed across the table, causing everyone to suspend their soup spoons in mid-air. All heads turned to her expectantly.

  “It is with the greatest pleasure,” Lady Catherine continued, making sure that everyone’s eyes were on her, “that I announce the date of the wedding of my dear daughter, Anne, to my nephew, Mr Darcy. The wedding shall take place in a month, on Midsummer’s Eve.”

  “Oh, what an auspicious date!” brayed Mr Collins, putting his hands together in joy.

  “So soon, Aunt?” Mr Darcy stared at Lady Catherine with a stunned look on his face.

  “Why wait, Darcy?” the great lady said, staring down the table. “The sooner that you and Anne are united, the better. We shall have a lot to do in order to prepare everything in time! Invitations are being printed as we speak and should be ready by the end of this week.”

  Mr Darcy said nothing further, but Elizabeth thought that he didn’t look happy. Well, what did he expect? He had given himself over to his aunt in this, and it seemed like she was wielding her power mightily. Elizabeth turned to look at the Colonel. He had not said a thing, but Elizabeth discerned his hand shake slightly as he picked up his spoon.

  Then Elizabeth looked at Anne, who, entirely in keeping with her nature, had not said a word. Nor had anyone at the table thought to ask her anything. Anne was trying to resume her meal, but Elizabeth could see that she had paled immeasurably and that her eyes glimmered with tears. Suddenly, she fell slightly towards the table.

  “Anne! Are you feeling poorly?” Lady Catherine stared at her daughter.

  “I think that I must retire, Mama,” Anne answered, standing unsteadily to her feet.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam was at her side in a flash, holding an arm out to her. Elizabeth quickly moved to her, as well, supporting her on her other side.

  “My daughter has suffered from turns all of her life,” Lady Catherine announced to the table. “She will retire and be recovered by morning, I should say.” She calmly resumed her meal. “You may escort her to her chambers, Colonel and Miss Bennet.”

  Anne’s complexion was so pale she looked the same colour as the wax in the candles burning on the long table. Elizabeth could feel the tremors shuddering through her as she took her arm. The Colonel led them down a long corridor, toward the back of the house.

  “I am so sorry,” Anne whispered. “I feel so embarrassed.”

  “Do not think anything of it,” the Colonel answered, gently. Anne turned to him, her large dark eyes filling again with tears. Elizabeth could feel a weight of sadness hovering between them, threatening to pull them both under.

  “My mother often has turns,” said Elizabeth to break the tension. “Do not worry, Miss de Bourgh. I am used to them, as I dare say everybody else at the table is as well. A lot of people can feel overcome suddenly. It is more common than you imagine.”

  A half smile flickered on Anne’s face. “You are very kind, Miss Bennet.”

  They reached the door to Anne’s room. The Colonel looked down at her, awkwardly. “Do you need assistance into your room?”

  At his words, Anne’s pallor suddenly left her and a faint pink blush entered her cheeks. “Oh, no,” she breathed. “I can manage perfectly well from here. You have both been so helpful. I am very grateful.”

  The Colonel hesitated, then turned to leave. Elizabeth looked at Anne. “I will come in with you, if I may, Miss de Bourgh,” she said. “I would feel better if I saw you safely in.”

  Anne looked panicked, but the Colonel laid a hand on her arm. “Let Miss Bennet assist you,” he said, gruffly. Elizabeth could see his eyes shining with concern.

  “Just for a moment, then,” Anne answered. “My mother will not take kindly if you are too long from the dining table, Miss Bennet.”

  “I will make an excuse for Miss Bennet,” said the Colonel, turning to leave. He stopped, looking back at them both. “You must rest, my dear. Do not exert yourself further tonight.”

  “I promise,” said Anne. The Colonel bowed abruptly, then walked quickly back down the corridor.

  Elizabeth turned to Anne. “Here, let me help you.” She opened the door and guided the young woman into her chambers. Elizabeth looked around. As was fitting, the room was grandly furnished, with a huge four poster bed and impressive furniture. She saw a chaise lounge against a window, and led Anne there, helping her to lie down on it. She found a rug and pulled it up over her.

  “There,” she said, as she tucked the rug around her. “You should be comfortable, now.” She sat down in a chair next to the lounge. “Your mother says that you have turns often, Miss de Bourgh.”

  “Ever since I can remember,” the young woman answered. “It is like a wave comes over me and I can barely keep myself upright. The world tilts, and a strong giddy feeling overcomes me. It is just something that I have to live with, I guess.”

  “Does it usually happen when you feel strong emotion about something?” Elizabeth gazed at her.

  “Perhaps.” Anne frowned. “I haven’t really thought about it. There may be a connection.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “Lady Catherine makes the announcement of your wedding date, and then you take a turn. I think that there is definitely a connection, Miss de Bourgh.”

  Anne’s eyes filled with tears. “You must understand, Miss Bennet,” she whispered. “I know that I must marry. I am not defying my mother. It’s just…it’s just…”

  Elizabeth laid a hand on her arm. “It’s alright. You don’t need to explain. I think that I understand.”

  “You do?” Anne’s dark eyes were as round as saucers.

  “I am a keen observer,” answered Elizabeth. “I often see what is going on, and especially what is not being said.” She took a deep breath. “Can you not talk to your mother, tell her what is in your heart? You never know, she might be sympathetic. If she knew how you feel, perhaps she might see fit to cancel the wedding.”

  Anne shook her head, vigorously. “Oh, Miss Bennet,” she said. “It is not possible that I could do such a thing! Mama has had her heart set on the union between Mr Darcy and I since we were children. There is no dissuading her. She would be appalled.” Her breath started coming in short, sharp bursts.

  “Please, Miss de Bourgh, don’t distress yourself,” she said, gently. “But your feelings matter. I was compelled by my mother, very recently, to marry Mr Collins. She pressured me, and even said she would never talk to me again if I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to hurt her, but it was very important to me not to give my life away. And so, I said no. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.”

  But Anne was shaking her head again. “We are very different people, Miss Bennet,” she said. “I couldn’t dare stand up to my mother. The consequences would be terrible.”

  “Worse than the consequences of giving in?” asked Elizabeth. “I will leave you to rest now, Miss de Burgh. I know it is hard for you. Just think about what I have said.”

  There was a knock at the door. A servant entered.

  “Her Ladyship requests your company at the dining table, Miss Bennet,” he said. “Immediately.”

  Elizabeth sighed, standing up. “I was just coming.” She leaned down and squeezed Anne’s arm. “Rest well, Miss de Bourgh.”

  Anne watched her leave. Her head was swimming. Miss Bennet suspected that something was going on between she and the Colonel. How, Anne didn’t know. They had been so careful. Anne knew that she meant well, but there were things that she just didn’t understand. A wedding was planned; preparations were happening. She couldn’t just go to her mother and tell her to cancel it.

  Even if it mea
nt losing her love, forever. At the thought of it, the tears that had been threatening since the announcement had been made finally spilled out.

  Chapter Seven

  The days were finally warming up. Summer was upon them, after a very chilly spring. Today, especially, Elizabeth could feel the season in the air; the sun was high in the sky, and the sky a perfect blue. A perfect day for a walk amongst the hundreds of daffodils that were in their last bloom on the hillside.

  Sweat was starting to bead on her forehead as she weaved her way amongst the flowers. Elizabeth was glad that she had the forethought to leave her cloak at the parsonage, although Charlotte had told her she should bring it just in case the day changed. But Elizabeth had told her that she was confident the day would continue as it had started.

  As she rambled, she thought of poor Anne de Bourgh. She had been so distressed by the announcement of her wedding date, she had retreated into sickness to escape it. Elizabeth thought it was probably an old habit when she felt that her life was out of her control. And that obviously happened a lot with Lady Catherine as her mother.