Doubt and Division

by Kate Barton

  “You wanted to talk to me,” she prompted after the silence stretched on.

  “Yes,” he answered. He took a deep breath. “It is against all of the principles that I hold dear to do what I am about to do. I do not do it lightly. Please know, it is only because my conscience weighs so heavily upon me that I feel I must.”

  Anne gazed at him in wonder. He was sweating; she could see tiny beads above his collar and on his forehead.

  “I am afraid that I must break our engagement,” he said quickly.

  Anne opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out.

  “I am truly sorry,” he continued. “I have no wish to hurt you, or my aunt. When I entered into the engagement, I had every intention to honour my word as a gentleman. It appals me that I must break it.” He took a deep, long breath. “But break it, I must.”

  Anne straightened in her chair. She raised her chin and looked directly at him.

  “I know that you will probably not believe me,” she said. “But just before you knocked at my chamber door, I was about to break the engagement myself.”

  Darcy hadn’t been expecting that. He gaped at her, seeming at a loss as to what to say next. Eventually, he found his voice.

  “You were about to break the engagement?” he repeated. “How is this so?”

  Anne continued gazing at him. “I intend to be perfectly honest in this,” she replied. “I cannot go forward living lies anymore. Yes, I was about to break the engagement. Colonel Fitzwilliam and myself are in love. It is he who I wish to marry.”

  Darcy paled considerably. Now it was his turn to be at a loss for words.

  “We have been in love for a long time,” Anne continued, calmly. “But we always knew that we couldn’t marry, for obvious reasons. We told each other we were resigned to the situation.” She took a deep breath. “But I am no longer resigned to it. And I have Miss Elizabeth Bennet to thank for that.”

  “Miss Elizabeth Bennet?” he repeated.

  “Yes. She was kind to me and helped me see that I have the strength to change things.”

  Darcy shook his head. “It seems Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s hand can be seen in everything to do with these circumstances.”

  Anne looked at him sharply. “It is time to tell me your reason for breaking the engagement, cousin.”

  Darcy stared down at the floor. “If you are being honest, then I must also. I find…that I admire and love her, above all other women.” He laughed. “But I am not breaking the engagement with the hope of marriage, like you are. I know that she despises me; she has made that clear, on many occasions.”

  Anne smiled, a little sadly. “Opinions can change,” she said. “Perhaps you need to approach her differently.”

  “How so?” he replied, equally sad. “Every time I try to speak to her, she walks away in anger over something she thinks that I have done. I fear there is little hope.”

  “There is always hope,” Anne replied. “Ways to show her that you care.”

  “I have helped her recently,” he said. “I was made aware of a situation, and did all that I could to resolve it, on her behalf. But she must never know that I was the one behind it.”

  “Why ever not?”

  He smiled forlornly. “This time, I fear, it would be her pride that would be hurt. It was a family matter. She might not thank me for involving myself, even if it was done out of love for her.” He paused. “Her prejudice against me is mighty, Anne. I fear that nothing will shake it.”

  “You must keep trying,” said Anne, fiercely. “You owe it to yourself, and to her. I am sure that she will think differently if she knew the truth.”

  Darcy pursed his lips. “Maybe. But, for now, we must request an audience with Lady Catherine. We cannot delay in telling her about the broken engagement.”

  Anne stood up. She raised her head like a queen.

  “Shall we?” she said. “I am ready.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Elizabeth sighed over her needlepoint, trying to block out the sound of her mother and her sister, Kitty, excitedly chattering.

  The chatter was about the approaching wedding of Mr Darcy and Anne de Bourgh, of course. The social event of the season. Lydia and her husband had barely departed Longbourn before Mrs Bennet’s focus had shifted from her newly married daughter to her unmarried ones.

  “Girls,” she had said as soon as they were back in the drawing room, having said their good byes to the carriage a mere ten minutes prior, “we must not tarry! I have made an appointment with the dressmaker in Meryton for this afternoon.”

  “Why, Mother?” Elizabeth had looked at her in wonder.

  “Why? She asks me!” Mrs Bennet arched her eyebrows. “Why? I wonder at you sometimes, Lizzy. New dresses! For the wedding!”

  “Is that necessary, Mother?” Jane had asked. “I know that I have at least one or two gowns worthy, as do my sisters. Father might not approve such extravagance.”

  “Mr Bennet knows that it is necessary,” their mother continued, loftily. “Mr Bennet and I are of one mind in this. Our girls must stand out. It is imperative.”

  Jane sighed. “I would prefer not to draw attention.”

  Her mother looked at her, sharply. “It is time to move on, Jane,” she said. “Mr Bingley is gone and will not renew his attention. This wedding is our chance to get all of you noticed. There will be many eligible young gentlemen there.” Her eyes glittered. “And very rich ones, too.”

  Jane reddened. Elizabeth could see that tears had come into her eyes. But Mrs Bennet had not noticed and continued with barely a pause for breath.

  “Kitty! Why do you bite your lip so? It is most unbecoming. Young gentlemen will find the habit distressing.” She stared at Kitty, her gaze sharp.

  “I cannot help it, Mama,” Kitty protested.

  “Well, you must cure it,” Mrs Bennet said crisply. She looked at her daughters. “Why are you all sitting there, staring at me like stunned geese? Quickly, girls! The appointment is upon us. Cloaks and bonnets.”

  The young ladies stood up, walking to the door. Elizabeth took Jane’s hand, squeezing it in sympathy. It was going to be a trying afternoon.

  ∞∞∞

  “Kitty! Come away from the window!” Mrs Bennet stared up at her younger daughter from where she was lying on the settee, fanning herself.

  It was a hot afternoon and all the Bennet girls were lolling about. They had just returned from another fitting in Meryton. Mary tinkled idly at the piano. Jane was working slowly at her needlepoint. Elizabeth was attempting to read, but finding her concentration slipping, as it had a lot recently. Her mind once again dwelt on the conundrum of Mr Darcy.

  Why had he helped her family, with Lydia and Wickham? And why had her feelings towards him shifted to something she could barely name? She knew now that he was a man of substance; he had proven it. She shook her head impatiently, the black type in the book swimming before her eyes. It didn’t matter what her feelings were towards him. The next time that she would see him, he would be standing at the altar, awaiting Miss de Bourgh.

  Why did the thought of that make her heart constrict with sadness?

  “But Mama,” Kitty said now, turning to her mother, “Mr Bingley approaches on a horse over the hill. I am sure that he is coming here.”

  Mrs Bennet bolted upright. She rushed to the window, her eyes boggling.

  “Oh, Jane!” she exclaimed, turning to her eldest daughter. “It is true!”

  All the girls rushed to the window. Elizabeth couldn’t believe it. There was Mr Bingley riding toward the house. She turned to Jane and was dismayed to see all colour drain out of her sister’s face.

  “Quickly!” screeched Mrs Bennet, running around the room frantically. “Prepare yourselves! Oh Jane! What can it mean?” She stared at her daughter for a moment.

  By the time the knock on the door came, and Hill announced him, they were all sitting quietly. Mrs Bennet turned toward the door, raising her head imperiously.

&nbs
p; “Why, Mr Bingley!” She smiled widely. “It has been so long. Please, come and re-acquaint yourself with my daughters.”

  ∞∞∞

  The household was in an uproar.

  Mr Bingley had asked for Jane’s hand in marriage!

  Elizabeth could barely believe that just this morning, they had thought that all was lost in the courtship. Even Mrs Bennet had resigned herself and was making plans to show off Jane at Darcy’s wedding. Now, Mr Bingley was having a private audience with their father.

  Jane looked dazed. “Oh, Lizzy,” she breathed. “I cannot believe it! He told me that he had never forgotten me, and that I was the only woman for him.” Her lips trembled. “I can scarcely breathe, I am so happy.”

  Elizabeth hugged her sister. “It is just as it should be,” she whispered. “I always knew that you were meant for each other. But what brought about his sudden conviction?”

  Jane hugged her back, tightly. “I do not know,” she said. “He had been in London, with Mr Darcy…”

  Elizabeth drew back. “Mr Darcy saw him, when he was in London?”

  Jane didn’t notice the intensity of the question. She smiled, vaguely. “I think he said that! Oh, Lizzy. If only you could be as happy as I!”

  “I am just happy to see you so,” Elizabeth said. Just then, Mrs Bennet swooped upon them, spiriting Jane away. Elizabeth was left by herself for a moment.

  Had Mr Darcy played a hand in this situation, also? Had he sought to re-unite the lovers that he had separated? He had been so adamant that he had done the right thing in pouring water over Mr Bingley’s marked regard for Jane. What had suddenly changed his mind and led him to persuade his friend that the elder Miss Bennet was marriage material, after all?

  It was all so bewildering!

  At this moment, he would be at Rosings. Final preparations for the wedding would be underway. She had written to Anne, sending her best wishes. She had decided that she wouldn’t try to get the young woman to stand up to her mother any more. She had intervened as much as she was able, and the rest was up to Anne.

  It still broke her heart that Anne and her Colonel would be eternally separated. But now, at least, Jane’s dream had come true. That was as much as she could hope for.

  And what of my heart? Elizabeth thought to herself as she climbed the stairs to her room. What was its dream?

  Once, she had thought that it might belong to Mr Wickham. That thought was anathema to her now. She still shuddered at how she had defended him to Mr Darcy. At how she had defended the man who had run off with Mr Darcy’s sister, and then ran off with her own. He was now Lydia’s husband, and all had been forgiven; but who had procured that marriage? Her father could not have afforded it. Lydia had said that Mr Darcy was at her wedding. It seemed that he had procured it.

  As he had procured this sudden marriage proposal, she was sure of it.

  She walked to her bedroom window, leaning against it as she stared out. What was she looking for? Sighing heavily, she had to admit that she did not know. And yet, she kept looking.

  ∞∞∞

  The knock at the door boomed through the house. It was the day after the proposal and they had been discussing it joyfully. The Bennets looked at each other, puzzled. They were not expecting anyone.

  “Lady Catherine de Bourgh,” Hill announced, looking scared.

  Elizabeth gasped. It was indeed Lady Catherine and she didn’t look pleased.

  “I must speak to Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” she announced, staring down her nose at the room. “At once. Alone.”

  The girls curtsied, scurrying out of the room. Even Mrs Bennet looked overwhelmed, looking over her shoulder with awe at the great lady as she closed the door.

  They were alone. Elizabeth turned to her.

  “Well?” said Lady Catherine. “What have you to say for yourself?”

  “I do not understand, Your Ladyship,” Elizabeth responded, staring at her in bewilderment. What on earth was going on? What had induced Lady Catherine to travel to Longbourn in such a state?

  “Do not look at me as if you do not know!” Lady Catherine’s voice rose. “Insolent girl! To think, I offered you hospitality. I let you dine at my table. And you repay me with this!”

  Elizabeth stared at her. What was she talking about?

  “You play games, Miss Bennet,” Her Ladyship continued. “Do not think that I have not noticed. You became a confidante of my daughter, when I expressly discouraged it, in order to cause trouble. To think – a woman of such lowly birth, trying to interfere in matters above her station!”

  Elizabeth winced as if struck. “I think that you should explain what you think I have done,” she said, calmly. “I will not stand here being insulted, and accused, in such a manner.”

  Lady Catherine gasped. “You still play games! I will not tolerate it, Miss Bennet. Admit that you have caused this.”

  “Caused what?” Elizabeth controlled her temper with difficulty.

  “Oh, don’t look shocked, Miss Bennet,” Lady Catherine hissed. “I know it is you who were the agitator in this sordid affair. It was you who caused the dissolution of my daughter’s engagement.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What shall we do now? All of those new gowns and hats, going to waste!” Mrs Bennet paced the drawing room floor. “To think! The society wedding of the season, cancelled at the last minute!”

  “I am sure we will get good use of the gowns at many balls,” Jane said calmly. “Do not distress yourself, Mama.”

  Mrs Bennet collapsed into a chair. “The young men that would have been there,” she lamented. “Oh, I know we have no need to worry for you now, Jane. To think, you will be Mrs Bingley! But what of your poor sisters who are not getting any younger?”

  Jane caught Elizabeth’s eye. They smiled at each other. Their mother would carry on about the broken engagement for the rest of the afternoon, but then she would forget. They just had to ride it out.

  “And what of Lady Catherine de Bourgh,” Mrs Bennet continued. “I almost had to get my smelling salts when she walked into the room! You haven’t told us yet, Lizzy, why she felt the need to travel to Longbourn to announce the news to you in person.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “I cannot explain it. The lady is capricious is the best that I can surmise.”

  She wasn’t about to share what Lady Catherine had said to any of her family, not even Jane, except for the news that the wedding had been called off. She hardly knew what to make of it herself. She had been astonished, naturally, and then her heart had soared. Anne was free! She was free to marry Colonel Fitzwilliam!

  And Mr Darcy was free, of course, as well. She didn’t quite know why that thought also made her heart soar.

  She had endured Lady Catherine’s insults and accusations. The woman must have a scapegoat, and it seemed that she had been given that role. As soon as Her Ladyship had left, unsatisfied, Elizabeth had broken into a smile. Anne had found the courage to do it – she was so proud of her. That was assuming, of course, that it was Anne who had done it. It might have been Mr Darcy. She simply didn’t know the details and could hardly ask Lady Catherine when she had been in such a rage.

  She would write to Anne, directly. Offer her joy at the news, as well as her support. She wondered what would happen, now. The Colonel didn’t have much money. He and Anne would be impoverished when they married, but at least they would be in love. They would have each other.

  Elizabeth’s heart filled to overflowing. Everything was happening as it should. Jane and Mr Bingley were about to be man and wife. And now, Anne and the Colonel would be, as well.

  In the midst of her happiness, Elizabeth wondered if there would ever be a happy ending for her, as well.

  ∞∞∞

  The air was bracing, unusual for this time of year. As Elizabeth walked over the hill toward Meryton, she reflected that she should have brought her cloak with her.

  She was by herself. She had needed to get out of the house; Mrs Bennet ha
d switched from sorrow over the cancelled wedding to joy at Jane’s impending nuptials again, and her fervour was giving Elizabeth a headache.

  She had a lot to think about, too. So much had happened in such a short space of time. And at the centre of it all was Mr Darcy. A man that she had misjudged, completely. A man who had shown her what he was really made of.

  She bent to pick a wildflower, one of the many blooming on this hillside. As she straightened, she could discern the figure of a man walking in the distance. She raised her hand to her forehead to shield the sun from her face, squinting. The man was walking towards her.