The Hamam Diaries Continued

by Sebastian J Stone

  Shahzad told me his own story. His cousin, who is married, was coming to Greece and asked Shahzad if he wanted to travel with him. Shahzad’s father agreed willingly. It cost seven thousand euros in dollars. Shahzad had dollars hidden in his cloths. It was terrible; they travelled across Iran and turkey in relays of cars, sometimes one in the boot. They had to cross dangerous mountains between Iran and Turkey on foot, in deep snow and none of them had suitable clothing. To get into Greece they crossed a river by dingy but the Greek police arrived so the dingy was scuttled. Only a few boys were saved and Shahzad was pulled from the river unconscious. They were put in prison for three weeks in Thessaloniki and the police took all his Jewelry. They also found the American Dollars hidden in his cloths. On the bus station in Thessaloniki they couldn’t believe that girls were walking about freely and talking to boys but nobody was “shooting them.” One boy said “This is the west”’

  Once in Athens Shahzad dare not leave his room for three weeks. His cousin found work with accommodation. Though the wage was low he could send money home. One night on a bus station Shahzad was grabbed by Pakistanis and imprisoned until his father sent money but he managed to escape. He worked briefly on an orange farm but there was no pay, only food and accommodation. He managed to get to the island of Samos and found work but the Pakistani who offered him a room took all his wages. He robbed a very drunk Swedish boy on the beach for his return fare to Athens.

  Shahzad came to this Island in early September; he was sleeping in the park where the Gardener who gave him fifty euros for a fuck found him. Shahzad claims that he never sold sex until he fucked the Gardener. He soon found work here, but the job did not last long.

  Shahzad’s father knew the journey would be difficult and even dangerous. I think Shahzad thought that he was going on holiday but his father probably hoped that it would make him grow up and give him a chance of a new life. Also, it had to be safer than home. Without me Shahzad could not have coped during the winter. He is gentle, devoid of ambition and not streetwise. I think his naivety helped to protect him. When the police picked him up and ask for documents, he smiled and said “I don’t have document sir, there is no work” and the police left him alone. In the Garden, he was threatened at Knife point, Shahzad stood up and said, “Help yourself, take what you can find, I have nothing” many tourist gave him money to help. I don’t know how many people he fucked for money but his beauty melts everybody’s heart, and he has been lucky.

  January 22, 2011:

  Some weeks ago, I wrote to Mario. Today I got his reply; he has been in jail again.

  Dear Sebastiano, old friend and brother, Long time, or only yesterday … but I here now and with sadness I am writing to you with all my soul. I did know about Christo and in depression my mind goes to him. Just two days before your letter came I was thinking about him. All the time I think about my unbelievable crazy past time and asking myself, ‘who knows when, if ever, I see that Island again?’ And my mind runs through remembering peoples close to my heart. Like I watching a mouse and I see so many pictures from my past, about you, about Christo and the peoples I loved for what they was. I think pure and simple thoughts and in the deepest silence, I smile. I am sorry if my English is more closer to German language. Ok Mr. over seventy, I change the music and try to go to the more cheerful. Here in Italy craziness is keeping us all in a sea of shit, but nobody knows they swimming. They just complain because the shit is brown not violet like the Propaganda. Berluscone feels good because him is not alone in craziness. Me, tomorrow I finish nine months twenty-eight days in jail time for fighting police. As you know I don’t like the system so much. I went inside in April 2010. I had 49 days’ bonus because I am a very good guy. I said to jail police when they asked me if I am not tiered to go in jail, I said, “Is not Italy if you can’t keep an innocent man like me inside for a while.” I am living with a dream woman from Romania, is 46, years old, she is pure and generous and simple and good at cooking. She is almost perfect and for me this is very strange. It is the first I know a person like this, it is even funny, unbelievable and she is caring to much about me. Yes, she loves me a lot and I try to respect her. For a complicated man like me who had stop to believe in love and even in a future as well. Her name is Claudia and she is a human being, too good for this fucking planet. I hope you meet her one day and change your mind about Dracula woman. She knows you, your history and even your face. I am sorry about your furniture but I agree when you tell me that, it was all over and now you free. Yes, things keep our freedom in the corner. The piano is a wonderful creature it have to be in museum, for generations to see such a miracle of life once belonging to Mister Sebastian Stone. Ok, I am working in cemetery, wonderful, dead peoples is best they so calm in peace, they seem to me like they not born yet. They perfect children in silence. They don’t give a fuck for anything. ‘Alleluia’ Jesus is back. Ok Mr. Over 70 is finished and I really ok and you safe and passing your time in philosophy like Hamlet and like I love to do. Ok, now to prison for my last night and tomorrow morning at 06. 45 I stop this bullshit. The house is ok now we really hope to see you and I fix everything. You can have your own big bed in your own room. For now, keep in touch.

  Your brother.

  Mario

  I don’t know how Mario is living with his Romanian woman and serving a prison sentence. The previous time he was in jail there was a brief period when he had freedom but must return by a set time. Or perhaps he lived with his Romanian woman before he went to jail. I am very puzzled why he did not get off the charge of disturbing the peace, because his insanity is no secret.

  A few nights ago, I saw a program about the possibilities of populating Mars. Solving the problems is a challenge and very informative, but I hope common sense prevails and they will learn from the research how to become the guardians of the planet that we take for granted and abuse. It must be cheaper than starting again on Mars. If there is any purpose to our existence it is about safe -guarding the planet and survival. We now know that we cannot rely on God or chance if anything threatens life on earth, except that we have the God given capability to intercede and solve problems.

  I read somewhere that the last great extinction lasted 80,000 years. I have witnessed creatures that I took for granted when I was a boy vanish over the last fifty years. Mankind is spreading like a cancer and extinction of species is now a daily fact. Life on our planet will survive but ultimately, the possibility is our own extinction by our own hand.

  January 23, 2011:

  Shahzad found a very beautiful leather jacket reduced by half down to eighty euros. The Albanian shop assistance demonstrated with a lighter that it could not be plastic and talked about top quality lamb skin. I bought it but could find no labels and, I knew it was softer than the most expensive leather imaginable, so I took it back. The Albanian returned my money without opposition. They also advertise synthetic fabrics as silk and the excuse is ‘but they won’t come back.’ Greeks are a race of liars and thieves, and of course the tourist won’t return if they get cheated.

  Claire has involved the police and a lawyer to protect her from Luke. He is now forbidden to go near her house by a court order. It is a very simple and straight forward process but Claire has insisted on interfering and told the lawyer and the police how to go about it. The lawyer has ‘washed her hands’ of the whole thing and the police will do nothing as usual, unless they are sent for.

  Last night we watched a program about chimps in the wild. Shahzad was enchanted, he loves all nature programs and he seems to value everything on a scale of beauty. My boyfriend is delightful.

  In 1997, I met a good looking young man who I believed to be in his late twenties. We had sex on a few occasions and it was always exciting. Yesterday I met him by chance in the park and we had sex behind a bush, being winter the garden was empty and I discovered that my friend has some white pubic hairs, plus a halfhearted erection, he must be about sixty. He pushed my trousers down and pressing his dick against
my ass while masturbating me and he gave me a violent and abundant orgasm. The idea of my being fucked and the position gave me a better orgasm than the actuality. This is further confirmation that the arts of love, arousal and orgasm all takes place in the mind, and there is far more to successful sex than dicks and fucking.

  February 4, 2011:

  Last night I bought a white leather jacket with a black leather line down the shoulders and sleeves for Shahzad. It is satisfactory for the money but does not look as good as I hoped. He needs some black trousers to complete the outfit. We watched a program about Benazir Bhutto. They all speak such beautiful English. She was well loved and Shahzad was deeply upset so I asked, ‘How did she die?’ and Shahzad told me ‘Her husband had her shot because he wanted her money and the power’ so I asked ‘Who was he?’ and Shahzad elaborated ‘He’s the head of the Mafia in Dubai’ ‘What is he doing now’ ‘He’s the new president of Pakistan.’ I think Benazir was a glimpse of hope for the world.

  February 8, 2011:

  Yesterday Nashwan telephoned from Norway and I talked briefly to his friend and I think I am in love again. Nashwan cannot stay in Norway, he does not qualify, he does not fulfill the necessary requirement for remaining in Norway His friend is from Iraq and he sounds wonderful. He loves England but has just been deported. He asked if he could telephone me at any time. I asked him to make sure that Nashwan goes home to Iraq because he can never become legal in Europe and will always be returned to Greece or deported.

  February 12, 2011:

  Vangelis has telephoned me. He is going to talk to his boss (the one I met in the Hamam) and offer him a cut of the massaging income and get himself appointed as manager of the Hamam. I am not surprise that he got the massaging stopped, if he carries on like this he will get the Hamam closed. But this is Greece, who knows how to manipulate the system, I certainly wouldn’t.

  This morning I visited the British consulate to find out how to obtain visas for Shahzad, so that we can travel together because in Europe we would have the possibility of becoming civil partners. Marriage between same sex couples is forbidden by law in Greece but if partners are already married then the relationship must be recognized. I was given an e-mail address for UK visas and told ‘He will be free to travel once he gets a visa.’

  February 13, 2011:

  Last night we went to the cinema to see the film, ‘Black Swan’ it was well done but I didn’t have a good feeling afterwards. Shahzad was entertained but the music didn’t seem to touch him. As a study in schizophrenia and sexual awakening it was dramatic but not convincing. I gather the Ballet world does not approve.

  I have had two brief encounters with the world of Ballet. The first encounter was while I was a student and we spent one week sketching a third-rate Ballet Company. For the first time in my life I felt alive and totally at home. I was very comfortable with myself and I felt compelled to follow them and be useful. I would have made a good scenery painter; my color blindness did not bother me at that time. We went to the final performance; it was a Ballet we had seen being rehearsed all week and I was moved to a deep emotional state. When they departed, I felt totally bereft as if a love affair had ended.

  My second encounter with Ballet world was in my forties. Henry fell in love with a Ballerina. When they were on tour Henry asked if a small group could stay at Orchards End, hinting that it would be very profitable. Mother thought to employ a cook, but after we had agreed then Henry hinted at limited allowances and charity. So, the Royal Ballet stayed at Orchards End for free of charge. Strange pale little people, as if they live under stones and become active at night. Henry and his Ballerina even set me on trying to get them free accommodation with our local aristocrat.

  Henry had been very briefly married to an ordinary girl for reasons that nobody has ever understood. He seems to fall in love after relationships is over. His previous relationship had been the most suitable but he never seemed committed. Henry’s landlady was a Ballerina with the Royal Ballet and she was supportive over his failed marriage. They became emotionally involved because Henry still had his looks and she was very taken by his dick and his permanent erections.

  My brother was once passing through London when he saw Tess Bales (the ballerina) on the front cover of a tabloid with one of our leading male dancers. They had been on holiday together and were getting off the flight. Tess had her mouth wide open and my brother was horrified. Only three weeks later he sees the same ballerina sitting in Henry’s car in our farmyard. He took a tractor to occupy himself all day until Henry and guest had departed. Tess has no chin and strikes poses with her mouth open. She resembles a scull with no lower jaw, she is a fright. Tess and Henry got married

  While the Royal Ballet was staying at Orchards end, they had a birthday party for one of the cast. Ballet dancers must party after a performance to release the adrenalin. It was all champagne and take-a-way food but the star of the evening was my owl. It woke up and silently flew from star to star.

  I judge all women by their response to my Mother. Tess was one of the few women who took exception to her. On many occasions, she took Mother to one side and berated her for our mistreatment of Henry. Once when looking through photographs she asked, ‘Who’s that?’ it was Mother at forty-seven and Tess replied with a sneer ‘Well I will admit, that she does look young.’ Henry had always admired my Mother. On a later occasion, for no reason Tess announced “You do know that your Mother is not beautiful.”

  All women I have met with Tess’s face seem to be unusually pleased with their appearance and elicit complements. Tess had all the skills of beauty we associate with Ballet dancers but she never stopped demanding compliments. She was once pointing her toes and drawing attention to her legs and Mother felt obliged to remark, ‘You have nice legs, Tests’ the reply even surprised me ‘Yes I know, my Mother had very pretty legs’ in fact Tess’s legs were too thin and knobby, her knees and ankles prominent and her calves over developed. They looked like knots in string. Tess once asked me to massage her neck and shoulders. Ballet dancers have a constant battle with stiffness, pain and weight. She felt fragile and brittle; it was like massaging a chicken.

  The large eyes combined with the turned-up nose and receding chin might be appealing to some, but in fact when that face was fashionable it was a sign of malnutrition. Another woman with Tess’s facial type had to keep her lips permanently pursed to keep her teeth covered. She once had tooth ache and said, ‘I don’t want it taken out in case it changes the shape of my face.’ Claire and I froze with disbelief.

  Another woman with a chinless face and turn up nose was seeking attention when she heard that I was an artist. Getting no compliments from me she announced “Well actually, my art teacher told me that I had the face of a 14th century artist model, of course I have progressed to being a Rubens model now, ha ha” It is a fact that Mother’s face and Tess’s were of a totally opposite type. Mother’s beauty was never appealing, nor was she good looking like Claire in her youth, but her beauty still shines from within. She is classical or even aristocratic and does not age. Tess has the appearance of round eyes and some lips painted on a balloon.

  It was six years later that we three were walking in the fields and Henry, still unchanged was doing cart wheels and Tess was contemplating retirement. I said to Tess, “if you are thinking of breading, you do know that Henry is a fine specimen and he will make an excellent father.” Tess’s reply shocked me and it was a hint at things to come “Well actually, I do won’t children but not Henry’s. To me, honesty is important.”

  It was one year later that Henry after having suffered diarrhea for several weeks complained to Tess after love making “What’s wrong Tess, you were like a wet lettuce” Her reply shocked him to his very core. He never has a clue when a relationship is ending. Tess said, “Well, actually it’s over and I want you out of the house by the end of the week.” Henry asked why, and she told him, “I have had this in mind for some time and you have been on trial, and
I have to tell you, that you failed miserably.”

  For some reason when a relationship is over Henry has an insatiable appetite for sex. He went for a walk on Hampstead heath where he met a blonde Nordic girl and fucked her all afternoon. She got pregnant but, she had just walked out on her black lover after sex. Henry found an apartment and they eventually married after the divorce. He once brought his Nordic girl to visit us, she was eight months pregnant and we left her talking to Shirley. We went for one of our long intimate walks. He deliberately dropped his dick out for a pee in front of me, “I see your cock is still in prime condition” he smiled our shared moment and made as if to piss on my foot.

  We were gone for hours and Shirley did her best to entertain the Nordic girl. Tess had already formed a relationship with a student on her gardening course. I met him once when I stayed with them after they married. A pleasant young man considerably younger than Tess and totally over awed by being married to a Ballerina, she was as always intolerable, she treated him like a lackey. I understand that they had two children and live in the same house but they never speak. The children are delinquent and Tess spends her days walking alone. She once saw Henry’s son and fell in love with him on sight, Henry told me.

  Henry’s marriage with the Nordic girl came to an end after becoming physically violent. She was built like a wrestler and once attacked him while he was holding the child at the top of the stairs. The child is white but Henry would happily have reared a black child. They once went with their baby, under one year old, to some place beyond the Arctic Circle to visit her family in winter and found a note pinned to the door saying, they had gone away. The three of them turned around and came home. That was in a blizzard and the temperature 40 below. I gather that there is a history of insanity in her family. The Nordic girl left Henry and went to live in southern Egypt with a camel trainer. She sent their son home alone with dysentery. Henry found his true métier as a father and the child turned out to be remarkable. I eventually stopped loving Henry and felt that I had wasted most of my life. He suddenly seemed smaller and lacking in character. Henry wanted me to be involved in rearing his son, but love for me was never unconditional. I approved of his son but like all henry’s partners, I had reached my limit.