Arrogant Bastard

by Jennifer Dawson

“If that’s what you want.” I’m agreeable to anything at the moment.

  “Oh yeah?”

  I nod.

  She eyes me up and down. “What about dancing?”

  I laugh. “If you insist.”

  “I do. Let’s see what you’re made of. But we’ve got an afternoon ahead of us first.” Then she swishes around and pushes my mom out of the room.

  All I can do is follow.

  Cat

  * * *

  After several hours at the assisted living place, we’ve eaten dinner, drank a bottle of wine, and made our way to Frenchman’s Street, where live music pours out of open windows. After the strain of this afternoon and seeing his mom, Caden has lightened up considerably.

  Things have grown easy between us as early evening slips into night. The wine has made me loose enough that everything feels warm and hazy.

  We walk down the street leisurely, and I look up at the moon, full and heavy in the sky. “I love it here.”

  “You do, huh?”

  I nod, still staring into the darkness and allowing the warm breeze to float over my skin. “One of my favorite places in the world.”

  “And where else have you been?”

  My forehead creases. “Not many places, but enough to know this holds one of the top spots.”

  “What do you love about it?”

  Zydeco music fills the air for a minute as we pass a crowded bar. “The way it pulses and throbs with energy.”

  “Kinda like sex.”

  My head snaps, and I glance at him. “I suppose.”

  He takes my hand and points to the bar. “Wanna go in?”

  “Yeah.”

  The place is packed and humid, thick with the press of bodies. There’s an African American woman with a slinky black dress and a sultry voice at the front singing Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds.”

  The crowd moves in a wave.

  Caden looks back at me. “Too crowded for you?”

  “Nope.”

  His fingers tighten on mine, and he swings me around, pressing me to his front and putting his large palms on my hips. He leans down and whispers in my ear, somehow making him easier to hear than if he was yelling. “Want a drink?”

  I nod.

  His hands fall from my body, and there’s a coolness at my back without him. With my eyes on the stage, I let the woman’s voice carry me away. I begin to sway right along with everyone else. We’re all moving, and that pulse and throb takes hold of me.

  I feel free, loose. Like magic.

  “You’re a hot little thing,” an unfamiliar male voice says from behind me.

  I look over my shoulder. A cute guy that looks to be in his early twenties is giving me the eye.

  I shake my head at him, waving. “You’re a baby.”

  He smirks, raising a brow. “Hardly.”

  I laugh. “Are you even out of college?”

  He’s all lean hips and chiseled features, the kind that are only afforded newly minted adults.

  He leans in close to me. “I’m in law school.”

  I roll my eyes. “Of course you are. You probably go to Harvard.”

  He grins. “Stanford.”

  “So predictable.”

  He hooks a finger into my belt loop. “Wanna dance?”

  “No, she does not.” Caden appears holding two bottles of beer, his expression stormy.

  I shrug. “Sorry, junior.”

  The younger man gives Caden a look. “I don’t see a ring on her finger.”

  “You’re not going to see much of anything if you don’t get your hands off her.”

  Well, this is interesting. I haven’t caused a ruckus in forever. At home I’m just Cat, barely even a woman. And now look at me.

  The guy cocks a grin at me. “I’m a modern man. I’ll let the lady decide.”

  Caden raises a brow and gives me a look like he’ll consider taking me over his knee if I don’t tell this guy to fuck off.

  I can’t help it; a giggle escapes my lips.

  “Caaaaaaat.” He drawls out my name in warning.

  I’m not going to lie. I consider it, just to teach him a lesson—just to show him not all men are willing to take the backseat and a passive role in pursuing me.

  Junior waggles his brows. “I’m a real good dancer.”

  I think back, trying to remember a time when I wasn’t weighed down by poverty, responsibilities, or expectations. A time before I had to watch everything I did. A time when I wasn’t restrained.

  What would that girl have done?

  You know what? Maybe Caden needs to be taught a lesson.

  “Keep that beer cold for me.” I wink at him and turn to the younger man. “Come on, junior. Show me what you’ve got.”

  I get a secret kind of pleasure when I hear Caden growl before I disappear into the crowd.

  Caden

  As Cat wanders off with the manchild, I contemplate my next move. Because she’s clearly issued a challenge. Why, I’m not totally sure. But I know enough about women to know she’s thrown down a gauntlet, and if I don’t pick it up, it doesn’t bode well.

  The only real question is the reaction she’s hoping for.

  We’ve had a very nice evening.

  It’s been casual and fun. We talked about work, the growth of the business, the crops, the restaurant opening, and the new group interested in stocking the rum.

  I kept everything light and easy.

  She relaxed around me for the first time.

  I thought we were getting somewhere, so why exactly has she decided to go dance with some dude in his twenties?

  She’s not interested in him. I overheard her conversation, and she was as dismissive with him as she appears to be with most men. So her actions must be about me.

  Should I go after her and cut in? Or hang back and wait?

  My instinct says to hang back, to play it cool, because that’s what I’d do with most women. I don’t chase. I make them chase me—keeps them more motivated.

  Except Cat doesn’t respond the way other women do. My attempts at chivalry and gentlemanly behavior seem to annoy her. Maybe, in this case, my instincts are wrong—like all my instincts in my effort to court her appear to be.

  With a sigh, I push past the crowd and find her in the sea of bodies.

  She’s really dancing up on the guy, her hips a slow sway, her arms over her head, her hair falling down her back. Her eyes are closed, and she’s wearing a seductive smile on her face.

  She looks sexy, like the woman on the balcony that night I sat in the dark.

  And just like that night, she’s a mystery to me—far away and too distant to touch. Only she’s not distant. I can reach for her. I think she wants me to reach for her.

  Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.

  I come to stand in front of them, and I tap the dude on the shoulder. “I’m cutting in.”

  Cat’s eyes flicker open, and she gives me the most satisfied smile.

  Junior shakes his head. “She made her choice, old man.”

  Hey, I’m only thirty-six—hardly an old man. I shake my head. “If you think her dancing has anything to do with you, you’re even more stupid than I thought.”

  The child turns and puffs out his chest. “You think so?”

  I really don’t want to deal with this right now, but it appears this is the way to her heart.

  I sigh. “I know so.”

  Cat steps between us and puts her hands on our chests. “Now, boys, we can all dance.”

  “No!” we both say at the same time.

  Cat grins and shrugs. “Fine. I’ll dance on my own.”

  Then she twirls off and ends up in the crowd of people in front of the stage.

  “Not cool, man,” the guy says.

  “Fuck off.” I push past him, once again in pursuit.

  Cat

  Is it wrong that I’m enjoying myself?

  Is it wrong that I’m worried there’s something wrong with enjoying m
yself?

  Before I can get tangled in these thoughts, I push them away. When the singer starts singing “Shout,” I throw myself into the music.

  I can think later. Right now I want to dance and be free.

  Just as I’m jumping up and screaming hey hey hey hey at the top of my lungs, strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me close. Satisfaction sweeps through me when I breathe in Caden’s spicy, masculine scent.

  I’d recognize him everywhere.

  Still swaying, I rest against his chest.

  He bends his head, and his lips brush over my neck. “You done trying to make me jealous?”

  His breath on my overheated skin makes me shiver. I laugh. “Maybe I just wanted to dance.”

  His palm flattens against my belly. “I said I’d dance with you.”

  “You did, but Junior got there first.”

  “I got there way before that child.”

  I look up at him. “I don’t think you were jealous anyway.”

  He brushes a thumb under the curve of my breast. “You think you know everything.”

  “But I’m not wrong about this,” I press, because I want to press, want to get to the truth of him, the one he’s hiding behind the mask of calm civility.

  He looks down at me before turning me to face him. “I’m not jealous in the way you’re envisioning, because I know that little show was all about me anyway.”

  I wrinkle my nose at him, irritated he’s seen past my ruse so easily.

  He puts his hand around my neck. “Doesn’t mean I liked him touching you.” His head dips. “I want to be the one touching you.”

  Before I can stop the words, they’re out of my mouth. “It doesn’t feel that way.”

  His head snaps back. “What?”

  I’m stuck now, and I think about diverting, but realize I don’t want to. I want it out in the open and out of my head. That way I can figure out what direction to turn.

  Maybe that’s the alcohol talking, but it seems right.

  I raise a brow. “What are you confused about?”

  “Why would you think that?” His hand smooths over my back. “Isn’t it obvious I want to touch you?”

  I glance away, shrugging. “I get that you’re attracted to me.”

  “I am. So what then?” His brow is furrowed.

  “Nothing.” I lose my nerve, feeling foolish for bringing it up.

  “No, it’s something.” He presses closer. “Tell me.”

  I swallow. It reveals my insecurities, but maybe that’s okay. At least I’ll stop thinking about it. “You never let it go too far.”

  “Because I know what’s at risk, and I want to be smart about it.”

  “I want to be smart about it too.” I blink up at him. “Especially since Wyatt and Jackson are so happy with you. I don’t want to ruin it for them.”

  He brushes a lock of hair from my cheek. “What about for you?”

  “I don’t know.” I stare at his broad chest. “You’re not a good risk.”

  He tenses. “I’m not.”

  I blow out a deep breath. “I want it not to matter.”

  There’s a moment of silence, where I let the beat of the music fill up the space. “Does it?”

  “I don’t know.” I meet his eyes. “Does it?”

  “Not when I look at you.”

  The answer should satisfy me, but it doesn’t. “It doesn’t feel like that.”

  “What does it feel like?”

  “You hold back.”

  “Tell me more.”

  I swallow hard—wanting to tell him, wanting it to reassure me, afraid that it won’t. My lashes flutter. “I want you to kiss me like you can’t stop.”

  Something flashes in his navy eyes, even in the dimness of the room.

  Emboldened by my confession, I continue, “Like how I can’t.”

  He leans in close, not touching me, but so our faces are near. “I saw you on your deck.”

  A hot flush crawls over my skin. Of course I knew, but unspoken, I could still pretend I didn’t.

  I nod. “I know.”

  “Every time I kiss you, that’s how I want to make you feel.”

  “Okay.” I lick my lips, tongue darting fast.

  “Did you want me to be watching?” His voice is low, thick.

  “Yes.”

  His hand crawls up my back. “If I had restraint, I wouldn’t kiss you at all. But you’re right, I don’t let myself be carried away.”

  “Why?” I need to know.

  His mouth brushes over mine. “Because once I do, I won’t stop. I’ll push you, and I’m not sure you’ll like it.”

  I’m not sure I understand what that means, and I’m equally not sure I want to. It doesn’t explain everything, but I see that in his mind it does, and I think that’s enough for now. I lay my head against his chest, closing my eyes and letting the music sweep me under its spell.

  His palm smooths down my spine. “You ready to get out of here?”

  “Yes.”

  His arms leave my body, and he turns away. Just as I’m about to feel cold, his hand envelops mine, warming me all over. We walk to the street, which is still crowded and alive.

  A half block later, where it’s less populated, he faces me. “Where should we go next, Cat?”

  My head tilts. “What are my choices?”

  He smiles, stepping close to me, putting his palm on my hip. “Should we head back? Or do you want to spend the night?”

  I don’t want it up to me. I want him to sweep me away and blot out all thought until I’m that crazy mess again.

  I shrug. “What about the morning? And people?”

  If we spend the night, we’ll show up late to work, and everyone will know we spent the night together. There won’t be any hiding it.

  He studies me as though he’s trying to read the nuance of my expression. Finally he speaks. “Head back it is.”

  He starts to walk again, and I’m disappointed.

  But I’ve already revealed enough tonight, and I’m not sure the small admission from him makes it worth it. It’s not enough to take the risk again.

  14

  Caden

  Maybe I’m doing the right thing, or maybe I’m not.

  Cat’s been silent for most of the ride back, and I haven’t bridged the gap she put between us.

  She’s disappointed we’re heading back. I’ve learned enough about her to recognize that she pulls away, back into that shell of hers, when she’s upset.

  I can’t pretend I don’t know what she wants from me.

  She wants me to consume her. She wants me to throw her up against the first available flat surface and ravage her, to not stop until I’m satisfied. She wants to be taken.

  But she doesn’t understand what I want, what I’m waiting for.

  I won’t accept anything but her surrender—eyes wide open, clear headed, fully cognizant of her decision. I need her to choose me, not be talked into it by the body she can’t control. She wants to make it about my passion for her, thinking if I get carried away, it will give her the proof she’s convinced she needs to fall. Only she doesn’t see how it abdicates her responsibility. I can’t sweep her away—not because I don’t want to, but because it gives her an out, and I’m enough of a bastard to not want to give it to her.

  But I can’t tell her any of this, because she’ll say the words to get what she wants, instead of meaning it. It’s something she has to give me freely. And until she does, we’re at a standstill.

  I pull into my normal spot next to the cabin where I live and shut off the car. The engine falls silent.

  It’s quiet here, the buzz of the city no longer present.

  I look at her. “Thank you. That was the nicest day I’ve had in a long time, Cat.”

  She’s still staring out the window and shrugs. “Cool.”

  “What does the Cat stand for?”

  A small smile lifts the corners of her lips. “Catarina.”

  “It suits
you.”

  She glances at me. “No, it doesn’t.”

  “I disagree.” I meet her eyes. “You’re full of mystery and secrets.”

  “I don’t have any secrets.”

  “But you do.” I shift in my seat. “And I want them.”

  She presses a fingertip to her temple. “You’re so confusing.”

  While I can’t do what she wants, I hate that she’s upset, and I hope to make her understand my desire. It’s not much, and she probably won’t believe me, but it’s better than nothing. “Don’t confuse my control with my lust, Catarina. They are most definitely not the same.”

  Her chin tilts. “Prove it.”

  My blood runs hot. I put my arm on the back of the bench seat, facing her more fully. “You want to fuck my fingers again? Or how about I go down on you until you explode?”

  Her body gives a little jerk, as though she’s shocked.

  “I wouldn’t mind you taking off your pants, spreading your legs wide and obscene right here, and making you wait until I decide what to do with you.” My lids hood, and I give her a slow once over. “Since I know you want me to watch you.”

  She sucks in a little breath, shaking her head. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Doing what?”

  “Making it only about me?”

  “Why shouldn’t I make it about you?”

  White teeth sink into her moist bottom lip. “What if I want to go down on you?”

  At the thought of her warm, wet mouth on my cock my fingers tighten, but I stick to the path I’ve decided to travel, knowing it’s the only way. “There will be time for that.”

  She crosses her arms over her chest. “What if I want it now?”

  “I think you’ll get hotter with me watching you.” I smirk, resting my back against the door. “You just want to see if you can strip me of my control, and you can’t.”

  Her face twists. “Yeah, I know.”

  The tone of her voice confirms her lack of belief. I meet her gaze in the darkness. “Again, don’t confuse my control with my desire.”

  Her shoulders square, and she gets that defiant glint in her eyes. “I’m not willing to settle for less than I deserve.”