I raise a brow. “Are you saying I should stick with Caden even though he’s a flight risk? Even if I have evidence that he leaves when things get hard? You’re saying I should be like momma and stand by my man?”
“Fuck no.” He rolls his eyes at the ceiling. “I’m saying own your life, Cat. Make it yours, and then you’ll feel like it belongs to you.”
The wind seeps out of my sails. I can almost grasp what he’s saying, but not quite. I turn toward the window. It’s started to rain. Good. The crops need it.
“How do I do that?” I ask.
“Stop running and face it. Deal with it, with open eyes and a willing heart.”
“I’ll try.” I wipe away what feels like an endless stream of tears and pick up my tea. I’m glad I stayed sober and clear headed.
I have a feeling I’m going to need it.
23
Cat
It wasn’t hard to find out where she was staying. It’s not like there’s that many places to choose from. And considering I knew what car she was driving, she was easy to spot.
The next morning, I pull into the motel parking lot and contemplate my next move. The place is nearly empty, so I assume her car is approximately in front of her room. I take a gamble, climb out, and start knocking on doors.
The first room is empty.
In the second, a disgruntled, disheveled man is clearly sleeping off last night.
Third time is the charm.
She opens the door. She doesn’t look surprised. In fact, she looks downright pleased to see me. I get my first up-close look at her, and as much as I hate to admit it, she’s even more beautiful. Her blond hair looks like sunlight, and her eyes are big and wide, a crystal-clear blue that suits her bone structure perfectly.
Dressed in a white sleeveless top and skinny jeans, she’s rocking that California, bohemian-chic style, right down to her bare feet and pale pink toes. It’s a look I could never pull off in a million years—a thought particularly distressing considering my eyes are puffy, my face drawn, and I feel like ten miles of bad road.
These are all things I can’t be concerned about right now. I have other things that need to be dealt with, and I’m not about to let the disparity of our appearances distract me.
Last night, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. At around three AM, after I churned over and analyzed my relationship with Caden, ruminated over my life, and contemplated my past, I realized Uncle Beau was right. I keep waiting for some mysterious force to sweep over me and magically make me feel like I’m in control and belong in my own life.
And that’s never going to happen.
If I want control, I need to take it.
If I want to belong, I need to take ownership of my life and choices.
So that’s what I’m doing. I’m done getting swept up in other people’s chaos and desires. Done going along without thinking because I don’t know what else to do.
If I don’t want to get caught up in whatever mess this woman and Caden are involved in, I’ve got to take control of the narrative.
Unlike Caden, I’m not going to run. I’m going to stay and fight for what I want. I don’t think that includes Caden, because if I ever get involved with another man, he’s going to be one that sticks. But I’m not hiding from this situation, since I have nothing to be ashamed of.
I take a deep breath and plunge headfirst into my mess of a life.
I meet her gaze. “Is this a bad time?”
Meredith leans against the doorframe. “Are you here to stake your claim?”
I shake my head. “I thought we should talk.”
A perfectly shaped brow rises. “I suppose you want to compare my story to Caden’s?”
“I haven’t talked to him.” I straighten my shoulders. “I wanted to hear your story without him clouding my judgment.”
Her brow furrows, like she’s confused. “Would you like to come in?”
“Thank you.” I step into the room. It’s dark and messy and doesn’t fit the woman standing in front of me. I take a seat on the edge of the chair and clear my throat. “Believe it or not, I’m not the enemy. If I’d known Caden was involved with someone, I’d have stayed away from him.”
She plops down on the edge of the bed. “Caden doesn’t like to talk about himself.”
So she does know him. It leaves a pit in my stomach, but I continue on because I don’t know what else to do. “Would you fill me in on your relationship?”
She puts her hands under her thighs and blows out a breath. “I’m sure you know how talented he is.”
Not sure what that has to do with their relationship, but I nod.
“Have you heard of Happy Harvest?” she asks.
Happy Harvest is huge, more a corporate empire than a direct competitor, but everyone knows them. I find I’m surprised that Caden worked for them. He seems so perfectly suited for a small, niche operation like ours. “I have.”
“He came recommended, so we hired him to supervise our non-GMO organics.”
This part makes sense.
She smiles. “He impressed our people, so when one of our managers left, he was recommended for the job. The interview was where I first saw him. It was love at first sight.”
It’s painful to think it had been the same for him, but I’ll dwell on that later. Now I need to focus on gathering information.
“It’s my family’s business, and I’ve been groomed practically from birth to be a key player in the company,” she continues. “Whenever we move someone up to management, we get together with the candidate to make sure we feel it’s a good fit, and the second I saw Caden, I recognized I was looking at greatness. See, my father is close to retirement, and he thinks my older brother should be in charge. I disagree.” Her expression turns dark, like a thunderstorm that blots out the sun. “He only thinks that because he’s old fashioned and believes boys are better than girls. But my brother Mark is not better. I’m the clear choice to succeed. I’m the one with the plans, vision, and ambition.”
Her features clear, and it’s like the sun’s come out again. “Then I found Caden.” She shook her head. “It was like…” Another shake. “I don’t know, like he was the man I never knew I was dreaming of. One look and I knew he had to be mine.”
Interesting that she viewed him more as a possession. I have a hard time reconciling the man I know with one who would be okay with that. But I don’t interrupt to clarify. I just let her talk and hope it will become clear.
“My father objected, of course, and he tried to keep me away from him, but I had to have him. Caden resisted at first.” She darts a glance in my direction to make sure I’m listening, and I don’t disappoint her. I’m on the edge of my seat. “I mean, you know how he is.”
Something about her tone and the expression on her face makes me think she wants an audience, like the prospect of drama between us excites her. But I’m not playing that game. In fact, I’m not playing anyone’s game except my own.
I only nod, remaining impassive.
“Luckily, he’s only a man after all, and I convinced him in the end.” She gives me a crafty smile. “After our first night together, I saw what needed to happen. First, I had to make Daddy love him—which wasn’t too difficult, considering Caden and him share a passion for farming. I bided my time, doing everything I needed to do to make Caden happy and cultivate his relationship with my father. In the end, it wasn’t hard to convince the family to make him head of operations.”
Each word she speaks is like a blade cutting away at me.
It’s so similar, too similar. Not in scale, but in practice. Caden must have seen it. There’s no way he didn’t. Yet, even then, as we were making plans, he kept this from me.
I nod, not wanting to be distracted by my own turmoil. I want her to finish the story so I can be on my way. “What happened?”
“He was awesome, just like I knew he would be.” She puts her hand on her chest. “It was me that recognized his poten
tial, me that understood how great he could be, and my moves that made it happen. When I convinced Daddy to put him in charge, our market share had been slipping, but under Caden, everything bloomed again.” She leans toward me, like we’re co-conspirators. “How much has your yield improved since he’s been here? And don’t tell me it hasn’t.”
“Production has improved.” That’s all I’m willing to say.
“Anyway, my plan was coming together exactly as I wanted. Caden was gaining power. I was gaining power. I needed one more piece to make it all come together: Caden and I needed to get married. With him by my side, it would be only a matter of time before Daddy gave the company over to me.”
Well, isn’t this a tangled tale. I narrow my gaze, studying the woman before me.
This entire plot is reading like an overwrought soap opera. Back when I was a kid, my mom watched All My Children. All Meredith needs is an evil laugh and she’d fit right in with the cast.
I’m not sure what’s truth and what’s not, but I do think Meredith believes her story—it’s the gleam in her blue eyes, the blind ambition, that competitive sneer when she says her brother.
But in a strange way, I understand her.
Because underneath the saga, isn’t she just jockeying for her place? She saw Caden as a path to get what she wanted and used it. My guess is she’s lived in her brother’s shadow her entire life and saw a way out of the darkness. Now she doesn’t want to let it go.
Can I blame her? I don’t think I can.
“Then what?” I prompt.
“It took some convincing, but Caden came around.” She waves a hand through the air. “He tried to back out a few times, but I explained to him that we were perfect together, and eventually he agreed.”
This part does not sound like Caden at all. I raise a brow. “Was the night he left one of those times?”
She shrugged. “I couldn’t let him leave. That would ruin everything.”
“But he did leave.”
“Yeah, and Daddy isn’t happy about it.” She presses a hand to her heart. “Like it’s my fault or something. Do you see how I need to bring him back?”
I’m not sure what Caden’s side of the story is, or how he got entangled in this mess, but I do feel a sting of pity for this woman. She doesn’t understand that Caden isn’t the answer to her problems.
“Thank you for talking to me, Meredith. I appreciate your honesty.” I meet her gaze, leaning forward. ”I hope you’ll take this as well intentioned as I mean it, but Caden is never coming back.”
She’s already shaking her head. “He will as soon as I talk to him, convince him. Once he sees I didn’t follow through on my threat, he’ll forgive me.”
My head tilts. “What threat?”
“It was nothing, just one of those stupid things you say but don’t mean in the middle of a fight.”
“Which is?”
“I told him I’d ruin him and make it so he never worked again.” She rolls her eyes. ”But, God, I wasn’t serious.”
That must have been the final straw. I stand. “Thanks for your time. Stay in town if you need to, but you’re not going to get anywhere. You’ll be wasting your time, but obviously I can’t stop you from doing so.”
She blinks at me. “I have to fight for him.”
“You can do whatever you want. I have no control over you or Caden.”
Disappointment pinches her lips, and a scathing look transforms her lovely face. “He was sleeping with you and kept all of this from you. You know… Nothing about us. He kept me a secret. Aren’t you upset?”
She wants a fight. She’s geared up for it, but I have no intention of giving it to her.
I nod and say quietly, “I am upset. But this isn’t your fault. I’m not going to use you as a punching bag to deal with my anger and frustration at Caden.”
“But…” Her brow furrows. “We’re enemies.”
I shake my head. “No, we’re not. We’re the same, and I’m not about to tear you down because of Caden.”
“Oh…okay.” Her tone has lost its edge.
I walk toward the door. “Thanks for the time, and take care of yourself, Meredith.”
“Wait.” Her voice is urgent.
I pause, turning to look at her. “Yes?”
“I don’t understand you. Why are you being so nice?”
I give her the only answer that springs to mind, even though I don’t think she’ll understand. Just like I didn’t understand last night when Uncle Beau said it to me.
I shrug. “I want to be happy more than I want to be right.”
Not that I’m happy. Or know when I might be happy again.
But this is the path, and I’m walking it.
Caden
* * *
I talked to Wyatt, Jackson, and Gwen as best I could after Cat left. Maybe they don’t understand why I did what I did, but they don’t seem inclined to take any immediate action. I’m grateful, considering none of them are particularly pleased with me at the moment. I suspect if we weren’t preparing for the private event and Toulon’s opening, the story would end differently, but right now I will take what I can get.
I’m not ready to move on, not ready to climb into that old truck again and start over.
If Cat wants me gone, I’ll leave. But I hope I’ll get a chance to fix everything.
If she’ll give me a chance to talk to her, maybe I can explain. I’ve called her about a million times this morning, but each time it’s gone straight to voicemail. I don’t know if she blocked me or has her phone off, but either way, she doesn’t want to talk to me.
There’s a soft knock, and I look up in time to see my office door swing open.
Like I conjured her, Cat’s standing in the doorway. She looks tired and pale, but she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
A rush of relief—so great it would knock me over if I wasn’t sitting—washes over me.
“Cat.” I breathe out her name like she’s a salve on my skin.
“Can I come in?” Her voice is soft.
“Yes, Jesus, come in, please.” I usher her in with a gesture of my hand and stand. “We need to talk.”
“We do.” There’s a steeliness in her tone that matches her eyes, wiping out most of my relief and filling me with dread.
“I know you’re upset, but let me explain,” I tell her.
“I’m not sure that’s necessary.” She closes the door and sits down on the chair across from my desk, crossing her arms and legs. Needless to say, it’s a lot of closed off body language.
I sink back down and rush to fill in the silence. “Since you left, all I’ve been thinking about is where to start, and now you’re here, and all I can think about is how much I need to see you on a daily basis.”
She doesn’t look swayed, instead her chin tilts. “I went to see Meredith.”
My heart beats double time. “Oh.”
Cat raises a brow. “That’s all you have to say?”
“I know it looks bad. It’s hard to explain.” All this time to think about my plan, and I sit here unable to form coherent speech.
She shrugs. “It doesn’t seem that complicated to me.”
“Meredith…she, well…” I shake my head. “Let me start at the beginning.”
Cat holds up a hand. “Not necessary. Let’s see if I have it straight. You worked for them. She took an interest and charmed her way into your heart. But then she started to show you who she really was—and you realized it wasn’t you she loved, but how you fit into her plans to steal control of the company from her brother. When you figured that out, you tried to break things off, but she threatened you in an escalating manner and you caved.” She looks me up and down. “Knowing you as I do, I assume you thought you’d figure out a new plan and try again. This pattern repeated for some indeterminate amount of time until you finally took off in the middle of the night instead of facing it again.” Her crossed leg swings. “How am I doing so far?”
“Here’s what I want to know.” She takes a deep breath and blows it out. “Am I a habit? Because I’m having a hard time believing you didn’t see the parallels.”
I want more than anything to insist she’s not, but it’s not the truth. Only the truth doesn’t tell the whole story, and I feel trapped by the confines of it. Uncertain. But all I can do is give Cat what she asked for, as unvarnished as I can make it. I pick up my pen and toy with the clicker on the end. “In a way, yes. But how I feel about you is not habit. That’s brand new.”
She swipes a hand through her hair. “I don’t know about that. It’s not like you asked me to marry you or anything.”
The hurt I see in her silver eyes kills me. “I didn’t ask Meredith to marry me. I’m not even sure what happened qualifies as an engagement.”
“Would you care to explain?”
I rub my eye sockets, which are like sandpaper, I’m so tired. “She kept telling me it made sense to get married, that it would be perfect, and I didn’t agree, but I didn’t exactly put the matter to bed either.”
“Funny, you never struck me as a going-along type of guy.”
I glance away, thinking about my long-sorted past. I see now, there’s no escaping it. No running. If I want to be free of it, the only way out is in—to lay myself bare and see what Cat does with it.
I drop the pen I’ve been toying with and look at her, this woman who’s become everything to me. “I told you my dad died when I was eighteen.”
“You did, but I’m not sure what that has to do with your engagement.”
“I’m not engaged.” I grit my teeth and attempt to calm my frustration. “Please let me explain, okay?”
“Fine.” Her foot kicks in a rapid bounce, like she’s contemplating running.
I’d best get on with it, since I don’t know how much time she’ll give me. “His death, it was so…sudden. One second he was there, and the next he was gone. I didn’t know how to process it, so I didn’t. It was four months until I graduated high school, and by the time I got my diploma, I felt like my mom was suffocating me. The day after graduation was the first time I ran from my life. I headed down to Mexico and spent a year being a beach bum. It’s there that I discovered farming—I worked one for money. Eventually I got tired of sun and surf, but by then I’d fallen in love with growing things. I went home and enrolled in college.”
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