by A R Davis
Valerie felt the tightness in her chest growing, working its way up her shoulders and down her legs. I don’t want to say it, she thought. I don’t want to go back there, and yet I long to go back there. I just don’t want this to be real.
“Why didn’t you tell me about him at the festival?” Lord Aubrey asked. “I could have saved you from him.”
I didn’t want to be saved. I wanted to be happy. “I can’t say, my Lord.”
“Were you afraid?”
Valerie met his good eye. “No.” He would never hurt me.
“If you were not afraid of him, then why did you choose to stay? Surely, if you had no fear, you could have easily left?”
“I…I had nowhere else to go, my Lord.”
The good half of Lord Aubrey’s face morphed into pity. She felt the hairs along her neck bristle.
“Who exactly is he that he would do this to you, that he would…manipulate you in such a way to think he was your only means of safety?”
“I never said he manipulated me. I said I had nowhere to go.”
“You only thought you didn’t. He made you think that way.”
“He –” He would never, she was about to say. What was the point of arguing? For pride? Because it wasn’t true? Lord Aubrey already believed what he wanted, and it hardly mattered who Valerie defended now.
“It’s all right, my dear. He can’t hurt you anymore. Not while you’re here. I will keep you safe.”
Valerie was hardly reassured by these words.
“Now, tell me…who was that man that claimed he was your father?”
How was she to answer when she did not know herself?
“He was not a man, was he?”
Valerie searched his face, taking in the flesh and metal. “No,” she said. “He was, in fact, the worst kind of monster.”
“A demon.”
“We can call him different things. In the end, it’s all the same.”
Lord Aubrey leaned in closer, nearly whispering his words. “So you understand why this is so important to me? You understand why I need to stop him?”
Valerie went cold. She wished she hadn’t eaten. “Yes.”
“Then I need you to tell me where he is.”
The boiled egg was stuck in her throat. I can do this, she thought. This is the right thing to do. His face floated up to the surface of her mind—the way he looked at her, like she was so special, so important…like she was everything to him.
I can do this.
“I…I don’t…remember. It was – in the forest somewhere, I – I don’t know.”
Please forgive me.
“Try to remember,” Lord Aubrey said. He grabbed her wrist as though he was attempting to squeeze the truth out of her.
“I don’t know. We never stayed in one place. We always kept moving. I don’t know.”
“Did you go anywhere specific?”
Valerie tried and tried and all she kept seeing were his yellow eyes. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of false memories and answer Lord Aubrey.
“How did you escape?”
“I – I ran away.”
“And he just let you leave?”
“I escaped. I ran. There’s nothing else I can tell you.”
Lord Aubrey sighed with disappointment. He leaned back in his chair. At that moment, Valerie glanced up to see the coal black eyes of the deer head. Her reflection was so small in those lifeless orbs.
“May I show you something?” Lord Aubrey asked.
“My Lord may do as he pleases.” Valerie’s words shook like they were made of ice.
“What you’re about to see may disturb you, and I wanted to ask your permission in case you wanted to avoid such un-pleasantries. Do you still wish to see?”
Valerie did not wish to see, but what power did she have to plead otherwise? Lord Aubrey took her silence as agreement and began to untie the leather straps of his mask. Valerie’s heartbeat quickened. It felt like someone was trying to pull her insides out through her chest.
Lord Aubrey removed the mask from his face as though he was peeling off his skin. His fingers trembled as he laid his mask on the desk. Valerie would never forget the look in his eyes as he exposed himself to her.
The scars were more horrible than in her imagination. Valerie could clearly see the claws that had left those angry red marks on Lord Aubrey’s face. She didn’t think that anything could surprise her anymore. How wrong she was.
“That demon that dares to call himself a man did this to me,” Lord Aubrey said through his teeth. With disgust, he pointed at his scars. “I watched him kill my men, good men, who were only trying to protect me. I watched him tear their throats open with his teeth. I watched him bury his claws into their flesh. I heard their screams, their cries for help, and I was…powerless to save them.” He took a few breaths to steady himself. “I have been trying to stop him for a long, long time. All I need is for you to tell me where I can find him so I can finally end this madness.”
Valerie resisted the urge to cover her mouth. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“So am I,” Lord Aubrey said. Valerie did not miss the bitterness in his tone. He quickly put his mask back on, as though he was embarrassed that he had removed it in the first place. “I don’t believe you were his accomplice. Even so, I can’t let you leave. Not while he is still out there.”
Valerie felt the words sink under her skin. “H-how long am I to stay?”
Lord Aubrey assessed her coldly. “For as long as it takes,” he said casually. “You can leave when he’s dead.”
*
Young Aubrey let the girl stay in the guest room. In truth, he cared not where she slept, so long as she did not dare leave the manor. When he thought of her, he felt curious and enraged. He did not understand how someone could protect a demon so heinous. Had the demon infected her mind so thoroughly that she no longer knew right from wrong? It was a frightening thought. It meant that the demon had more power than he imagined.
He did his best to remain calm. The demon would eventually come for the girl, and Young Aubrey had to be ready to meet it. There was only the small matter of waiting.
“Why hasn’t it arrived yet?” Young Aubrey asked as he stared fixedly out the window at the forest. The trees were now thick with fresh spring leaves that blew languidly in the breeze. If only the wind was strong enough to part the trees, they would reveal the secrets that lay among them.
“I can’t answer that with certainty, sir,” Captain Jonasson said. “We’ve only had her for two days. Perhaps he is unsure where to look for her.”
“He – it must know that I have her.”
“Even if he does, you can’t expect him to storm through the manor. Not with all the armed guardsmen.”
Young Aubrey nodded slowly to himself, as if he alone had conjured this thought. “You’re right. He mustn’t know she’s here. If he – if it does, then the plan will be ruined, and he will forever be beyond my grasp.” He balled his hand into an empty fist as if to demonstrate. “No, the girl must stay inside. She is not to go anywhere for any reason. No one is to speak of her being here.”
“But, sir, she is not a –”
“She is my only means of capturing the demon. If she has to experience some unpleasantness, then so be it. It’s the least she could do.” Especially after the way she looked at my scars, he thought. He was very familiar with the look that was in her eyes. She was just like everyone else. How disappointing.
“My Lord, she has not committed a crime.”
“She failed to disclose the location of the creature. I’d say I was being merciful.”
“It could be that she really doesn’t know his whereabouts. Do you really think the demon would let her slip away if she did?”
“You weren’t there, Captain. You didn’t see her face. She feared I would discover her secret. She feared that I would find him.”
“Maybe because she knows what he is capable of.”
Young Aubrey clenched his jaw. “You don’t believe me,” he said evenly. He towered over Captain Jonasson and looked down at him, daring him to say anything different—hoping that he would.
To his credit, Captain Jonasson did not look away. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, sir. I simply don’t believe she deserves to be punished after all she’s been through.”
“You promised that you would never question my orders. You promised that you would be loyal to me.” Young Aubrey placed his hand over his heart as though Captain Jonasson had physically wounded him. “Are you going back on your word?”
“No, sir, I would never –”
“Then the girl stays in her room. She is lucky to have that much.”
Captain Jonasson appeared as though he wanted to say more, but he chose not to. What could you possibly do to me? Young Aubrey thought. He fancied testing the good captain. How far can I push him before he surrenders? Before he breaks?
“What are we going to do now, my Lord?” Captain Jonasson asked.
Young Aubrey sat at his desk and laid a map across the table. “We’re going to intercept the demon. If he is searching for the girl, he will return to the places she’s been previously. One of them will be Merrion.” He tapped on the town marked on the map. “The other, presumably, will be here. We’ll need to set up checkpoints here.” With his quill, he marked three locations near Merrion. “And a few near Leola. We’ll have the men bring the dogs to sniff him out from among the travelers.”
Captain Jonasson stared at the map with a look of concern on his face.
Young Aubrey smiled. “Fear not, Captain Jonasson. If all goes according to plan, we will have him at last.”
“It’s not that I fear, my Lord,” Captain Jonasson said somberly. “I fear what will come after.”
*
Valerie considered staying in her room for the rest of the day, since she was exhausted and shaken by her encounter with Lord Aubrey, but the more she stared out of the window, seeing the familiar rooftops of the town she had once lived in, the more she wanted to walk about town, to see what she had missed in the months she was away. More than anything, she wanted to visit her parents.
When she opened the door, she discovered two guards standing on opposite sides of the doorway. They turned and blocked her way out. One of them held his hand out in front of her.
“Is there something you need, miss?” he asked.
She supposed it was inevitable that an escort would be required. “I was wondering if someone could walk with me around Leola.”
“I’m afraid that’s not possible, miss. Lord Aubrey’s orders.”
Valerie was at a loss. The thought of being trapped in that room for another minute was unthinkable. She did not want to accept defeat. Perhaps she needed to request something smaller. “Then could I possibly have a tour around the manor? I’d love to see the gardens and –”
“If there is anything you need, someone can bring it for you,” the guard said curtly.
“I want some fresh air,” she said. Her voice cracked.
“If you would like, I can open the window for you.”
“I don’t want the window open. I want to –” She attempted to step around them, but they quickly intercepted her.
“Whatever you may need,” the guard said through gritted teeth, “we will have it brought to you. Please return to your room.”
Valerie pressed her lips together, struggling to retain what threatened to burst out. “I am to stay in my room?”
“Yes, miss.”
“I don’t know where he is. I would help if I could, but I–”
“Please return to your room, miss.”
Valerie shook her head. “No. Lord Aubrey cannot keep me here. I’m not a criminal.”
“Please return to your room.”
She tried to push past the guards, but they grabbed her roughly by the elbows. Their metal fingers pressed into her skin. “Let go of me!” she shouted. “Let me go! He can’t keep me here! He can’t!”
They shoved her back into the room. Valerie staggered backwards, nearly tripping over her feet. Before she could regain her footing, one of the guards slammed the door shut.
No matter how hard she pounded, no matter how loud she screamed, they would not let her out.
Chapter 28
Damien removed the freshly washed plate from the basin. He waited until some of the water had run off before handing it over. Several seconds passed before he looked over and once again realized that there was nobody beside him. He would have to dry it himself.
This happened several times a day. He’d be doing something, fully aware that he was alone in his endeavor, and yet he’d turn to the side expecting someone to be there. When he read in the parlor, he’d look over to the empty spot beside him. When he went to the kitchen for his meals, he walked into a cold room with two empty chairs. And when he made to bid goodnight, his voice echoed within the walls of the house. Nobody was there to greet him when he woke.
Damien finished the dishes and thought about what he would do next. The day wasn’t over yet; he had just finished having lunch. That was the problem with having too much time: You don’t know what to do with it next, and when you do, there is always, always too much left over. He almost asked his ghostly companion if she wanted to walk with him.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. He was startled by the sound. He waited. Maybe it was just in his head. A few seconds later, he heard it again—three insistent taps at the front door.
At first, he thought it was a stranger trying to find some shelter or trying to find him. No, he thought as the three taps came again, surely the stranger would just let himself in. And if this person wanted to find him, well, he’d hardly be polite about it. It had to be someone who knew he was here—ready to answer the door should someone come knocking.
What if she came back?
The concept was impossible, and yet he couldn’t help himself. He started seeing her standing patiently at the doorway as though she had never left. His heart thudded madly. He broke into a short run to the door and then came to an abrupt stop. Mustn’t look too eager, he thought. Maybe I should have a drink in my hand, or maybe I should have two cups. I should have made some extra food; she might have liked some, even if it tasted terrible. What am I going to tell her? Should I start with how much I missed her? How much I did not mean to hurt her? How I so badly want things to work between us—for things to go back to the way they used to be? We can simply be friends, and I will learn to stop loving you. Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine.
After he let his stomach settle, Damien finally opened the door.
Dante held up a fancy bottle of brandy, akin to the one he had brought when he had returned the first time. His hood was down, allowing Damien to take in his somber expression.
Damien’s first instinct was to slam the door on his maybe-brother’s face. Somehow, though, he just did not have it in him. “What do you want?” he asked, his voice tinged with weariness and disappointment.
“I only want to talk,” Dante said. “Can I come in?”
“You can talk if you want. I’m not much in the mood for it.” Damien moved out of the way to let Dante in. Then he shut the door.
“Is there somewhere we can sit?” Dante asked.
Damien gestured half-heartedly to the kitchen and led the way. After setting the table in relative silence, they took their respective places. Damien noticed that Dante was sitting in Valerie’s seat.
Dante opened the bottle and poured two cups to the brim.
“Is this your way of apologizing?” Damien asked.
“I’m not apologizing. As I said, I’m here to talk.”
Damien snatched his cup. Some of the liquid spilled on his hand. “So talk.”
Dante assessed him for a moment, searching his face for answers to unspoken questions. “How are you?”
Damien smirked. “Do you really want to know?”
�
��Yes. Because some stubborn part of me still cares about what happens to you.”
“You only care because you don’t have anyone else. Those people that you associate with? They are not with you. They don’t give a damn about you. And neither do I.”
Dante folded his arms across his chest. “You don’t have to keep lying.”
“I have lied about a lot of things. This is not one of them.”
“I know you’re angry about what happened. But you are my brother, and no matter what you say –”
“No. We are not brothers. We haven’t been for a long time.” Damien pushed his cup towards Dante without even taking a sip. “Is that why you really came back here? To try and make up for lost time? To act as though you never…” He trailed off and took a deep breath. “If you really were my brother, you wouldn’t have…” Something was wrenching loose inside of him, and now he was scrambling desperately to tighten it again.
“I wouldn’t have what?” Dante asked sharply.
Damien shook his head.
“I wouldn’t have what?” Dante repeated, nearly shouting the words.
Damien met his maybe-brother’s eyes. “You wouldn’t have let me be like this.” His claws dug into his palm; the biting pain was not enough. “You would have been there to stop me.”
“You should have stopped yourself,” Dante snapped. “Don’t you dare put this on me, Damien. Don’t you dare.”
“I did it for you,” Damien said quietly. “Who else is there to blame?”
Before Dante could answer, Damien continued in the same deceptively quiet manner. Inside, it felt like something was threatening to boil over, to spill on the table before him, to stain his hands and sour the brandy. “I did it because I didn’t want you to be alone. I saw what it did to you, and how you hated me because I was not like you. You were what he had made us to be. There was a wedge between us the moment you took your first life. And I could feel you leaving me behind. Then you left me here and forgot about me, only returning to feed me like I was some sort of pet.” He spat the word like it was a bitter taste in his mouth. “You were the one who told me that people didn’t matter because we were never going to be like them. And then, when it was convenient for you, you decided that they suddenly mattered. Then, when I tried to make something, to make meaning out of what was once meaningless, you decide that I don’t deserve it. So, yes, Dante, I will put this on you.” He raised his cup in a facsimile of a toast.