Only for You

by C. C. Wood

  I shook my head. "No, but some do, and I just want you to be prepared."

  He put the car in reverse. "Maybe I need to invest in some good earplugs then. That way I can sleep at night."

  I swatted his arm. "Don't think for a minute you're getting out of nighttime diaper duty."

  He grinned at me. "But honey, I need my sleep so I can go off to work and make money for our family."

  I rolled my eyes. "Oh, brother. That's fine, invest in the earplugs. I'll find other ways to wake you up." I chuckled to myself as I thought about it.

  "Oh, that laugh just sounded evil. You know what, you're right, I shouldn't wear earplugs at night. Maybe just when the baby won't stop crying and I'm holding her. That's acceptable, right?"

  This time my laugh was normal.

  We were the first to arrive at my parents' house, which didn't surprise me. If you told my brothers to be somewhere at noon, they would assume any time between twelve and one was an acceptable time. At least when it came to family events. They were always on time for work.

  It was something I never understood about the four of them.

  "Didn't your mom say to be here at eleven-thirty?" J.J. asked.

  "Yeah, but she told my brothers eleven."

  "Why?" he asked, unbuckling his seatbelt.

  "Because if she told them we were eating at noon, they'd roll in at twelve-fifty-nine and wonder why everyone was pissed at them and the food was cold."

  J.J. laughed and climbed out of the car. By the time I'd unbuckled my seatbelt and opened my door, he was standing next to the passenger side.

  "So we're eating at noon?" he asked.

  "Yep. Though Mom usually has some kind of snack tray or dip and veggies set out beforehand. With four boys and their assorted kids, my mother learned to have at least some food available otherwise she'd have someone whining in the kitchen about how hungry they were and why did they have to be here at eleven-thirty if we weren't eating until noon anyway."

  J.J. laughed again and put an arm around my waist as we headed up the front walk toward the porch.

  "Well, I'm relieved because I'm already kind of hungry."

  We were just about to go up the front steps when a sleek black sedan pulled into the driveway. We stopped and watched as Dr. and Mrs. McClane got out of the vehicle. Mrs. McClane had a cake carrier in her hands and Dr. McClane carried a big glass bowl of salad.

  "Hi, Mom. Dad," J.J. greeted them as he released me to step forward and relieve his mother of her burden.

  She kissed his cheek. "Hi, honey. How are you today?"

  "Good. Hungry," he answered, eyeballing the cake carrier as if he could see through the dome lid.

  "You carry that inside and put it in the kitchen, Jackson James McClane. It's for everyone, not just you, even if it is your favorite."

  His eyes lit up. "You made red velvet cake?"

  "In. The. Kitchen," she repeated.

  "Yes, ma'am."

  He winked at me and bounded up the porch to open the door for his father and they disappeared inside.

  Mrs. McClane took my hands and looked me over. "You look beautiful, Lee. You just glow."

  "Thank you, Mrs. McClane."

  She gave me a narrow-eyed look. "I'm Colette."

  "Yes, ma'am."

  "I'm your mother-in-law and the grandmother to your daughter, so you will call me by my first name," she continued. "And I know my husband will feel the same about you calling him Malcolm."

  "Yes, ma'am," I said with a smile.

  "Oh, stop that and come here." She held out her arms and pulled me in for a tight hug. "A little girl. I'm so excited that I'm going to have another granddaughter."

  I loved that she considered Jacks her granddaughter even though they weren't related by blood.

  We heard more cars arrive and turned to see Cam and Brody pulling in behind her parents' car. Sierra and Ben were right behind them.

  Jacks jumped out of her dad's SUV and skipped toward us. "Coco! Auntie Lee!" She stopped in front of me and looked carefully at my barely noticeable baby bump. "You don't look pregnant, Auntie Lee. Your belly isn't very big."

  I smiled at her. "It's still growing, just like the baby. Right now, the baby is only the size of an orange. In another couple of months, she'll be the size of a cantaloupe and my belly will be a lot bigger."

  She nodded.

  "Speaking of growing, you look like you've grown two or three inches since the last time I saw you," Colette said. "Come give your Coco some sugar."

  My heart melted at the sheer joy on Jacks' face when she hugged Colette. I'd gathered from listening to Cam talking about Brody's mother and his ex-wife, that Jacks didn't have a lot of affectionate women in her life.

  It seemed that had changed now that Cam and Brody were married.

  When Colette released her, Jacks came to me and gave me a careful hug. Then, my melted heart and had no chance of ever recovering because she whispered to my belly, "Hi, baby! I'm your cousin. I can't wait to meet you."

  I managed to hold back my urge to cry when she looked up at me and grinned, her two front teeth missing.

  I smiled back at her and blinked rapidly when she scampered off into the house.

  "Oh, my God, she didn't say something rude, did she?" Cam asked as she approached and saw my tears.

  I sniffed and shook my head, unable to speak because I knew I would burst into tears if I tried. I waved a hand at Colette, who seemed to understand what I wanted.

  "She said hi to her cousin and said she couldn't wait to meet her."

  Cam's eyes welled up. "Well, shit. That was sweet."

  "Cameron McClane, language," Colette corrected.

  "Cameron Murphy now," Brody said as he approached our group. He leaned in and gave Colette a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You're beautiful as always, Colette. What did my wife do now and why are the three of you crying?"

  Cam pinched Brody's side when he curled an arm around her shoulders, but he didn't even flinch. "It's your daughter's fault. She's too damn sweet and now the three of us are trying to shut down the waterworks."

  "What'd she say now?" Brody asked, his expression worried.

  "She said hi to the baby and told her she couldn't wait to meet her," I managed to choke out right before the tears started in earnest. "It was the sweetest thing ever."

  It was at that moment my brothers decided to arrive.

  I tried to get my tears under control as mass chaos descended on the front yard in the form of two rambunctious little boys, a surprisingly un-sullen teen girl, my four brothers, and Jacks, who came back outside when she heard the noise.

  The two boys immediately joined forces with Jacks since they were all close in age and Corey, my thirteen-year-old niece and Robert's only child, waved at us before she followed them toward the backyard where the swing set and slide were set up just for the grandkids.

  Letitia approached me and gave me a hug, ignoring my tears. She'd had two babies and she knew that the hormones were the real thing and could hit at any time. After saying hello to Colette, Cam, and Brody, she went back to the car and started unloading food and bags. D.J., the oblivious butthead, didn't help her but came toward me warily and gave me a quick hug.

  "What's wrong?" he asked, his expression saying he was afraid of the answer even as he spoke the words.

  "Brody's little girl is sweet and these aren't sad tears," I managed. "Now, go help your wife, dummy. She's got her hands full and you just walked off and left her."

  He whirled around and cursed under his breath. "Oh, man, she's gonna be mad at me now."

  "You deserve it," I muttered, but it wasn't loud enough for him to hear. Cam and Colette heard though and they both grinned.

  "We'll help," Cam said, grabbing Brody's hand and following D.J.

  I looked around and realized D.J. was the only one who'd brought his wife. Clayton had arrived with Robert, Corey, and Scott and he was solo. He also looked really sad.

  They all came over and g
ave me hugs before drifting inside. Clayton was the last one.

  "Hey," he greeted me with a tight hug. "So, a little girl, huh?"

  I smiled and nodded. "Where's Danielle? Is she sick?"

  He shook his head and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, then closed it. He looked so sad and defeated that I hugged him again.

  "She couldn't come," he whispered in my ear as he held me. "She wanted to but we've been trying for a year now and nothing. She's scheduled to go in for tests in a couple of weeks and it's killing her wondering what's wrong and why she can't get pregnant."

  My eyes welled up again. "I understand. You tell her that it's okay and I will absolutely not hold it against her."

  He released me and nodded, blowing out a sigh. "I told her you would understand, but she was a mess when I left. I was going to call and tell y'all we couldn't make it but she was insistent that I come."

  I nodded. "Um, I know you said she's having tests, but what about you?" I asked.

  His face just shut down then and all he said was, "No."

  I opened my mouth to ask him why not but he was already moving away from me. With a sigh, I followed him into the house.

  "Clayton," I said.

  "No, Lee." His voice was heavy and final.

  "Yes, dammit!" I yelled, shoving his shoulder. "Don't you ignore me!"

  The entire room went completely silent.

  Clayton faced me, his eyes hot. "It's none of your business."

  "Maybe not, but your wife is hurting and I know you are, too. Yet you refuse to acknowledge that the problem may not be hers. That's not going to help either of you."

  "I'm not talking about this," Clayton said, disappearing into the kitchen.

  I stared after him in frustration but didn't follow. He obviously wasn't going to listen to me.

  D.J., trying to lighten the mood, said exactly the wrong thing, as usual. "Damn, J.J., don't knock her up again because she's just as crazy as Mom when she's pregnant."

  He was lucky my mother was in the kitchen or his ears would have been ringing when she smacked him on the back of the head.

  Robert, however, had to go and screw it all up even worse. "I don't think we have to worry about that. They're not even sleeping in the same bed."

  The silence became total then. I don't even think anyone was breathing. I could feel all their eyes on me but no one spoke.

  I lifted a hand and jabbed a finger in Robert's direction. "You shut the hell up, you asshole!"

  There was a collective gasp from my brothers and Letitia because they knew what was coming.

  That's right. I'd just lost my temper.

  "I cannot believe that you two have the absolute fucking nerve to judge me when you haven't had the best past relationships either." I swung around toward D.J. "You are damn lucky you have Letitia and you take it for granted that she loves your thick skull as it is. And you," I said, looking at Robert again. "You made mistakes with Corey's mom and I never held it against you. Was I disappointed about your choices? Yes, but you're my brother and I love you so I never judged you. If I want to be careful in my relationship with the man I love, I'm allowed to do that without worrying about what your two cents will be! We went from a one-night stand, to friends, to married in three months. I didn't want him to feel trapped or obligated or anything else because I love him and it wouldn't be right for me to expect him to feel the same in such a short time!" The tears started then, tears of anger and frustration, and sadness, because I wasn't sure J.J. would ever feel the same about me that I did about him. "But you promised me that you wouldn't say anything about it and then you went and announced it in front of everyone, so thank you very much!" I shouted. For good measure, I grabbed one of the throw pillows from the couch and flung it at Robert's head.

  Then, I left the room because I was so mad, I couldn't see straight.

  I was also mortified. Humiliated.

  Not by my brothers, though God knew they had the ability to embarrass me more than even my parents. No, I'd done all that myself. I'd screamed curses at my brothers in front of my in-laws, my employers, and worst of all, J.J. I'd thrown something at Robert and basically told D.J. he was a shitty husband.

  Oh, and let's not forget I'd yelled out that J.J. was the man I loved more than once. After admitting we'd had a one-night stand.

  What a brilliant way to begin a family gathering to celebrate my new daughter with my husband.

  I stumbled into my old bedroom and shut the door behind me. Then, I collapsed on the bed and cried.

  I heard the door open and the edge of the bed depress.

  "I'm sorry, Mom," I sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

  "I'm sure your mom will be glad to hear that," J.J. said.

  I squeaked and rolled over while simultaneously scooting toward the other side of the bed. J.J. grabbed my waist, yanking me back toward him.

  "Careful, you nearly fell off," he said.

  I stopped resisting then and let my body relax into the bed. I was still crying and sniffling. J.J. glanced around, spotted the box of tissues on the nightstand, and grabbed it. I took one and wiped my eyes and nose.

  "I'm sorry," I said to him. "I'm so embarrassed. This is why I hate to lose my temper. I say terrible things and yell and it's horrible."

  J.J. reached out, his hand pausing when I flinched away, but he brushed my hair away from my face anyway.

  "It's the first time I've seen you yell like that since you were a kid," he admitted. "And I have to admit I'm going to do my level best never to piss you off that bad."

  I don't know how I managed to laugh and cry at the same time, but I pulled it off somehow.

  "It's not always this crazy and you know it," I mumbled.

  "It's okay to get mad sometimes, Lee. And it's okay to make mistakes. Though I hope you won't be too upset if I say that I hope our daughter inherits my temperament."

  I laughed again and it was a little less watery. "I hope so, too."

  I covered my face with my tissue. "I can't believe I acted like that in front of Cam and Sierra. And your parents! God, what on earth are they going to think of me now?"

  J.J. moved my hands away from my face so he could look at me. "My parents probably think that you're a human being, a pregnant one at that, and they'll cut you some slack. As for Cam and Sierra, I'm pretty sure the only thing they wanted during that scene was some popcorn. They've heard so many stories about the Prescott boys and their shenanigans, but they didn't know about your temper."

  "Think I'll still have a job tonight?" I asked.

  J.J. laughed. "Oh, yeah. They're going to keep you around just for potential entertainment value because they'll never know when you're going to blow again."

  I sighed and used a fresh tissue to blow my nose. "Great, now they think I'm a ticking time bomb."

  "There is something you said that we need to discuss," J.J. stated.

  I froze, unable to move or breathe, because I knew what he was going to bring up. Still, I waited in silence. I'd said the words. I couldn't take them back. It wouldn't be right.

  I had to accept his response and hope that it didn't crush me.

  "We agreed to be more open and honest with each other, Lee," he said. "But I think we're both guilty of holding back our thoughts and feelings."

  I blew out a thin stream of air. Okay, so that wasn't an outright rejection. It wasn't a declaration of reciprocal love either, but it didn't sound like he was dismissing me out of hand.

  "Do you know how hard I've worked to keep from scaring you off?" he asked, his tone gentle. His fingers ran through my hair and I remained still, staring at him with wide eyes. "I was so worried that I'd slip up and tell you I loved you and that you'd do everything you could to maintain your distance that I forgot I wasn't the only one who might be feeling something."

  "What are you saying?" I asked him.

  It was his turn to pause and take a deep breath. "I think I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you at Cam's reh
earsal dinner. I'd always liked you when we were growing up, in a friendly way because you were definitely too young for me. But when Cam hired you and I started seeing you at the shop, you were still you, but all grown up and I looked forward to the prospect of seeing you every time I came to town for lunch on Sundays. I made excuses to drop by the shop after lunch when I normally wouldn't have. Then, when Brody asked me to come work with him, it seemed like perfect timing. I was sick of my job in Dallas, sick of the constant stress and frantic pace. And I missed my family. Then, there was you. If I lived here, I could convince you to go out with me." He huffed out a laugh. "It didn't work out like that, but when I found out you were pregnant, I was glad," he admitted. His cheeks turned a dull red as he admitted it. "You wouldn't give me the time of day after the best night of my life and I was crazy in love with you but now you couldn't ignore me anymore. I know that probably makes me an asshole, but I figure it's time to put all our cards on the table."

  "Y-you were happy about the baby?" I asked.

  "Absolutely," he said.

  Tears were still falling from my eyes and I half-wailed, "I've been so scared that you felt trapped, that you blamed me for getting pregnant, that you could never love me."

  J.J. urged me into a sitting position so we were face-to-face. "And I was worried that you were feeling the same. I never wanted you to feel like you were stuck with me forever when you didn't want to be. I was worried that you'd never let your boundaries down with me, that you'd always remain distant because you didn't really care for me."

  I sobbed and let my head fall onto his shoulder. "For two so-called level-headed adults, we sure made a mess of things, didn't we?"

  He pulled me closer so that I was leaning into his body and his arms were around me. I returned his embrace and let myself relax against him. It was the first time I wasn't just a little on edge because I wasn't scared I'd admit that I loved him out loud.

  "Where do we go from here?" I asked, my voice muffled by his shirt.

  "Well, first, we go on our honeymoon when you finish the fall semester," he said, making me laugh. "Because once the baby gets here, it'll be hard to take a trip. Then, we figure out how to put an addition onto the house without ruining it and pulling it off before the baby gets here. After that, we have a baby, you finish grad school, and we talk about having another one."