A Kiss For You

by Rachel Van Dyken

  "And Ethan?" My body shook with fear.

  "Is an ass." Mason shrugged. "But I'll be here. I've seen worse, believe me. When my…" His voice died, and with it, his eyes closed. "Never mind. Just know, it will pass, and when you open your eyes, I'll be here. With water."

  "And a margarita," I added, thinking that next to Ethan it sounded like the best thing in the world.

  Mason burst out laughing. "I'll see what I can do." His eyes flickered to the clock by the bed. "You have five more minutes."

  "You'll be here?" I asked in a weak voice.

  He studied me, frowning before giving a firm nod. "I swear it."

  "Thank you." I closed my eyes and lay back against the pillows, waiting for the next wave.

  I expected Mason to stay put.

  Instead, he lay down next to me and grabbed my hand. "You won't break me."

  The last thing he whispered, "Sweet dreams," was funny because I knew that the next few hours would be nothing but nightmares and wanting something I knew I could never have.

  Ethan

  The pain was unbearable — because it was a reminder of why I hated my entire existence — why I had a reason to hate.

  Cassius.

  Didn't it always come back to him? After all, it had started with him. Or maybe it had just started with Ara.

  Another shudder wracked my body. Bones felt like they were twisting around one another before suddenly resetting themselves over and over again.

  I felt her pain.

  Because she was a part of me now.

  So her pain was my pain.

  Only for me, it was worse.

  Because it was the second time in my existence I'd experienced it — when it was only supposed to be experienced once. Immortals mated for life. That was, unless someone or something intervened.

  Hands shaking, I took another drink of blood. It did nothing, or maybe it did, and I was just too bitter to allow it to heal me.

  She'd been naked, inconsolable, and I'd left her.

  With Mason, of all creatures. My best friend, the only being other than Alex that I trusted.

  My body convulsed. Falling to my knees in front of the fireplace in my room, I lifted my head to the ceiling and listened for her cries.

  It was going to be a long evening.

  Made longer because I'd refused to give her what she needed to make it better. I'd thought I could do it when I walked out of that room, smug as shit. I had thought I could do it.

  But the pain had been too much.

  The reminder.

  And then the visions I'd shared with her — too personal. She'd seen Ara. She knew the shame that consumed me — or would soon know. There would be no secrets between us, and in order for the mating to continue, I had to make sure that I completely marked her, possessed her, made her mine.

  It was the last thing I'd expected this morning when the number had been called.

  It had been a normal day.

  As normal as my life had been for the past century.

  And then Cassius had breathed her name… Genesis. And my world stopped.

  His eyes had gone completely white, and then the bastard had smirked at me, like he knew the future before the present had even happened.

  It was impossible to describe the need I'd felt when I walked into that throne room. I'd heard her heartbeat on the other side of the door and had given a shaky nod to Alex, who'd seemed more amused than upset at our new circumstances.

  Let Cassius have another one — and fail.

  Or steal her.

  Fifty years ago, I had given up my request for a breeder, as had Mason. The bond hadn't lasted like it was supposed to, and even though the bliss we'd felt at the hands of the humans we bonded with was incomparable, they'd always died.

  Every. Single. Time.

  And we'd been the ones left to bury them.

  I could bite her and hope that she'd be the one human to finally change things.

  The last one had lived past one hundred and fifty — Mason's mate. We'd thought it had worked — had thanked God.

  Until he'd awoken with a corpse.

  I'd already lived through enough death and betrayal, and now it seemed my existence was on repeat.

  "Damn it, Ethan!" Alex stomped into the room. "Could you at least hold her hand?"

  "And what? Squeeze it so hard I break every fragile bone in her pathetic body?" I hissed. "Is that what you want?"

  He hung his head. "She's stronger than that."

  "Is she?" I snorted out a laugh. "That's what we said about the last one."

  "Who lived longer than the rest," Alex pointed out. "Look, all I'm saying is there's something very wrong about having Mason up there consoling the human when she's not even his mate, when… he may have to kill her before it's complete. I can't watch him go through loss again. He's known her for less than a day, and already he's like a kicked puppy."

  "Tell him that…" I stared into the fire. "…and you'll get your throat ripped out — again."

  "Once. He did that once." Alex elbowed me and took a position in front of the fire. "You did what you had to do."

  "Right." My voice sounded hollow, funny, because I felt hollow, like an empty shell. "And now I'm bonded — to someone I don't love. Tell me, how does that work out in all those romance novels Stephanie likes to read?"

  Alex ignored me as another one of Genesis's screams rocked the mansion. She was transitioning, meaning, for a human, she would be going into an absolute frenzy to be with me. I should be pleased.

  I wasn't.

  I wasn't that type of vampire.

  One who feasted on the lust of others.

  It was a trick — like magic. The mating caused her physical body to want me in ways that were indescribable, but she still had full control over her mind. And wasn't that the horrible part?

  I could own her body.

  I had to earn her heart.

  "You're the only being alive who's pissed about having meaningless sex," Alex said in a low voice.

  "Siren," I hissed, "you base your life on meaningless sex."

  "And my blood pressure's way lower," he joked.

  "Not laughing."

  "It was kind of funny," he mumbled. "Look, just… hold her again. Maybe it will help things along. You'll sure as hell feel better. I'll sleep better. Mason won't have to kill her because she doesn't make it through, and Cassius won't end up finding her. We win."

  "But do we?" I spoke the question we'd been asking ourselves for years upon years. "How long do we repeat the process? How long does the madness continue?"

  Alex was silent.

  Another scream.

  I winced and braced myself against the mantel, nearly prying it from its place on the wall.

  Alex shook his head. "If it's this bad for you — imagine how bad it is for her. She's human, Ethan. She could die. Or is that what you want? To take it all back? Would you… let her die? Just because you're afraid of what happens if she lives?"

  "Take it back!" I roared; my hand crumpled the wood and tossed it into the fire.

  "Fear isn't welcome here," he mocked.

  I punched him in the jaw.

  He went flying across the room, slamming into the wall, before chuckling and regaining his balance. "That all you got?"

  "Don't tempt me to end you."

  "Like you could," he spat. "Now do your job, Ethan. Go to her."

  A piercing scream had me catching my breath, holding my hand to my chest.

  Alex looked heavenward and swore.

  "Fine," I barked. "I'll hold her — again. But you know what you ask, if that much physical contact is made? I'll be lost to her."

  Alex's smile fell from his face. "You've been lost to her from the minute Cassius uttered her name. Don't for one second think otherwise. Now go to her, before you give her to Cassius like before."

  "Leave," I barked. "And never speak of that again."

  Alex held up his hands and stomped out of the room.


  While my heart decided to ram against my ribs so hard I had to fight to catch a breath again.

  Slowly, I made my way up to her room. The screams were getting louder and louder, but the closer my body was the less the pain.

  Finally, when I entered the room, it was to see Mason pacing a hole through the damn floor and pulling at his overly long hair.

  "Leave us," I whispered in a hoarse voice.

  Mason paused, tilted his head, and smirked, "Careful, humans do break."

  "I can be gentle."

  He barked out a laugh. "You drove your fist into a granite countertop when we ran out of wine last week."

  I rolled my eyes and pointed to the door.

  Genesis

  Cool water touched my lips. Greedily, I reached out, my hands coming into contact with the glass and something else warm. I drank as much as I could and then slowly opened my eyes.

  Ethan.

  My heart clenched in my chest. Was he back to make fun of me? Watch me suffer only to leave again? I recoiled, the pain started to subside enough that I didn't want to actually kill myself.

  Apparently, I'd asked Mason to do just that a few times.

  "Sorry…" Ethan mumbled, setting the glass down on the table. "If I stay, it will be… easier."

  It didn't feel easier.

  It felt hot.

  Not exactly painful, but hot to the point that my body kept telling me if I only scooted a little bit closer to him, I'd be okay. If only he'd tilt his head a fraction of an inch and kiss me — the pain would dissipate completely. I was at war with my own body, and I hated him for causing it — for bonding with me without even asking if it was okay first.

  Not that I'd had a lot of options once my number had been called.

  And once Cassius had marked me.

  I'd dreamt of him again.

  Of his cool lips. I'd reached out, but the minute my hands had come into contact with his body, I'd been jolted awake by Mason.

  His words had been clear. "Never, under any circumstances touch Cassius." Even in my dreams.

  Weird.

  A shudder wracked my body. Ethan let out a curse then wrapped his arm around me. His skin was hot to the touch, but it still comforted me. I ducked my head under his arm and let out a heavy sigh as another wave of pain shot from my toes all the way up to my head, causing a splitting headache.

  I turned into his body — not really in control of my own actions — just knowing that he would make it better.

  He shifted next to me, pulling me closer.

  "So…" His voice was hoarse. "Tell me about… school."

  "What?" I gasped, my voice sounded like I'd spent the night screaming at a concert. "School?"

  "Yeah, your studies… about immortals. Tell me about it."

  "Immortals suck." I sighed. "If I disrespect you enough, will you kill me?"

  His lips twitched as if he was fighting a smile. "Not now, no. It would be like killing myself."

  "And that's supposed to deter me from wanting certain death?"

  This time he did smile. "What did you learn about mating?"

  "There was no mating chapter." My hand pressed against his chest. What was I doing? My fingers ducked into the V of his white shirt, pressing against his warm skin. I wanted to taste him. Why?

  "Hmm…" His free hand moved to cover mine and slowly peel it from his body. "That's unfortunate."

  "Yeah." I jerked my hand away from his and placed it against his skin again. It felt too good, and I was so sick and tired of feeling pain.

  He hissed out a breath and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the headboard. "You have one more transition before the bond is complete. Your body will crave mine… but it doesn't have to mean anything."

  "Huh?" I was too distracted by the curve of his full mouth to hear all the words coming out of it. His lips were so full and inviting. I leaned forward.

  Ethan kept my body pinned so I couldn't move. The more I squirmed against him the more irritated he looked. His eyes were so green and captivating it seemed like they were glowing.

  "Not this way," he whispered. "When you come to me… fully as yourself. When your love for me and only me blots out any sort of physical need you have — that's when I'll give in."

  "And if that never happens?" I fought against him; I just wanted a taste, and I didn't even like him. It made no sense.

  He shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time."

  I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the pain rather than on him… because when I focused on him, I hated myself a little bit more.

  "Questions—" he choked out. "I know you have questions… so ask."

  "Can't…" I shook my head. His voice was so pretty, so deep. What would it feel like to be with him? Just once. He'd make the pain go away; he'd make everything better. If I could just touch him more, taste him. My body strained toward his. "I can't stop thinking about you."

  "Flattered," he said dryly. "Try."

  "But—"

  "Favorite color."

  "What?" My eyes jerked open. "Did you just ask me my favorite color?"

  He smirked. "Tell me it's green."

  I rolled my eyes, some of the need dying a bit at his arrogance. "White."

  His nostrils flared. "Cassius would be pleased."

  "Not because of Cassius," I said in a soft voice. "Because white's like a blank slate. It means starting over."

  "You wish…" He swallowed, his head tilting to the side, pieces of dark hair falling across his sculpted face. "…to start over?"

  "I wish I would have run…" My body trembled as more heat invaded my stomach. "…when they called my number."

  His smile made my stomach clench. "You can't run from destiny."

  "I could have tried."

  "You would have failed," he said in an amused tone. "And you would have most likely died at Cassius's hand for trying."

  "Why did he mark me? How did he mark me?"

  Ethan sighed. "His touch… if he touches any part of you, it marks you. He has to will it to happen, so it's a switch he can turn on and off. All of the Dark Ones can. He touched your shoulder, infused your body. It never takes much from a Dark One. They're… powerful."

  I nodded my head, remembering the sting of cold that hit me when Cassius had touched my shoulder. "And the only way to take the marking away?"

  "Is to cover it up." Ethan clenched his teeth. "Or in this case… infuse you with my essence."

  "Your essence is strong enough to do that?" My teeth clenched together in pain. The heat from my stomach had traveled to my mouth. I eyed the water greedily.

  Ethan lifted it to my lips. "Only if I'm without a mate…"

  I sipped the liquid and took a breath. "You had a mate."

  "Had," Ethan repeated.

  I didn't push him; if there was one thing I'd learned, it was that when his eyes glowed, it wasn't because he was in a particularly happy mood. Water dripped from my chin; he caught it with his fingertip and brought it to his lips.

  "You taste…" He closed his eyes. "…heavenly."

  "Did you bite me?" I blurted.

  He dropped his finger from his mouth and smirked. "You'd know if I bit you."

  "So what did you do?"

  "Shared my blood with you… the old fashioned way. With a knife."

  "But wouldn't it have been easier to—"

  "Biting is too personal," he finished, "intimate… not something shared with strangers."

  "Or humans?" I asked.

  "Or that."

  "But Mason bit me."

  "Mason has a different way of doing things, and, not that it matters, but his bite wasn't one of mating. It was done to try to cover up Cassius's mark, nothing more."

  "So…" I pulled myself away from him; I was starting to get too hot again. "You've saved me… to what end?"

  Ethan's eyes turned very serious as he whispered, "Hopefully, one day… you'll be able to return the favor. And save us."

  Ethan

 
Her eyebrows drew together in what I could only assume was frustration. Her heart started to race, and then her eyes dilated as she glanced at my mouth again. If she did that one more time, I was going to lose my mind. I was already trying desperately to keep her from touching me too much. Because it affected me, as much as I wanted to deny it, to deny her.

  Her physical contact was everything I'd been craving.

  Giving in would be easy.

  Staying away would be hard.

  But traveling down that road again — knowing how it was likely to end — well, I wasn't so sure I would survive it. I was immortal, but my heart was still fragile.

  And when it broke…

  As an immortal, I suffered with unimaginable pain. Pain I never wanted to experience again, thus the reason for keeping myself firmly tucked away from the weak little human with the pretty smile.

  I liked her hair.

  It was gold, not really brown, not blond — just gold. The firelight made certain pieces glow. It was tempting to grab it, to sniff it, to wrap it around my fingers and imagine what she'd be like in the throes of passion.

  "Ethan…" My name on her lips was ecstasy. I shook the thought away and tried to appear indifferent.

  "Yes?"

  "I can't save anyone… I can't even save myself."

  "You're stronger than you think," I encouraged. "Trust me."

  "That's just it." She tugged her lower lip into her mouth and chewed, her dark blue eyes sad. "You've given me no reason to."

  "You're alive," I pointed out. "That's reason enough."

  "He's not the best at comforting humans," came Alex's voice from the door. I could hear the amusement in his tone.

  I rolled my eyes and turned, ready to bark at him to leave.

  "Cassius called," Alex said in a bored tone. "Wanted to know if I know where the human is."

  "And?"

  "I lied." Alex rolled his eyes. "Of course."

  "And he didn't believe you?"

  "Naturally." Alex examined his fingernails and shrugged. "So I told him you'd trapped her in your lair and were having your way with her."

  Genesis let out a little whimper and ran her hands down my chest again.