A Kiss For You

by Rachel Van Dyken

  “Like a big brother … not a big boyfriend?” Bodie asked, still smiling.

  I laughed. “Oh, definitely not. He’s not my type, and plus, he’s engaged to the producer of our reality show, Annika.”

  His hand stilled, peanut butter knife hanging midair. “Reality show?”

  Another laugh. “I thought you might have known. Don’t watch much TV?”

  He shook his head. “You’re on TV?”

  “I am. It’s a reality show — Tonic, named after the shop where we work. Real original, I know. We’re about to start filming season two.”

  His head was still shaking. “That’s crazy. What’s that like?”

  I shrugged. “It’s fun. Kind of weird having cameras in your face all the time, but I don’t mind. Last season was drama though — Annika was kind of a bitch. She lied to Joel before she made it up to him, and he ended up putting a ring on it. I wanted to rip her face off for doing him wrong, but she’s like nine feet tall and Russian, so I’m pretty sure she’d beat my ass. I’ve got a real big bark though.”

  He slathered on the peanut butter and opened the jelly jar. “I remember that bark very well.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I guess the Rodney breakup wasn’t super private.”

  “I’m pretty sure every parent and student in the audience heard what you had to say about him dumping you at graduation.”

  I felt myself blush. “Well, he deserved every word.”

  “No arguments here. You guys used to fight like crazy.”

  “Because he drove me crazy. Like, on purpose. I swear, he kept me just close enough to keep me coming back for more and far enough away that I never felt like he was really mine.”

  Bodie didn’t speak for a second as he spread strawberry jelly over the peanut butter, all the way to the edges, like a good boy.

  “Think he’s why you don’t date?” he asked, his face still.

  I chuffed. “I don’t think. I know.” I thought about it, feeling my willpower turn into steel at the thought of Rodney. “Here’s the thing, Bodie. When I love, I don’t do it halfway. I go all the way into the fire until it burns me up. It’s obsessive. I lost myself once to someone else, and I’m not doing it again.”

  He nodded and closed one sandwich, then the other. “You sure it wasn’t just Rod?”

  I shrugged. “Not really interested in finding out.”

  “So you’ve never felt the urge to stick with a guy, even without commitment?” He sliced our dinner into triangles and plated them.

  I squirmed, and he saw it.

  “I’m not asking for myself, Penny. I’m just curious.”

  I sighed. “If I’m being honest? No. I used to, and I’ve tried to, which only reinforced my belief that relationships aren’t for me. It’s just fun, and I don’t need any more commitment than that. I’m committed to my job. I have my girlfriends, and they wouldn’t hurt me. I don’t need a man to be happy. I just need a man for my vagina to be happy, but that bitch doesn’t run my life.”

  He laughed at that and handed my plate over. “Want something to drink?”

  “Just water, thanks.”

  “I’ve really only done flings too,” he said as he made his way around the kitchen. “I mean, there were a few girls I dated for a while, but nothing serious. Just never turned into more. Know what I mean?”

  “Yeah, I do. It’s so hard when you’re different people or you have different expectations. But sometimes there’s just no connection. Like when they don’t get your jokes — that’s the worst. Or they just go straight to stage five clinger.”

  He chuckled and set our glasses in front of us. “It was so weird when I first started dating because I had no idea what I was doing. Like, I had no experience, so I thought I was supposed to woo, date, and fall in love with every woman I was interested in, so I tried. But then I realized that chicks were like guys sometimes too. That dating is not about wooing and love. It’s all about expectations, you know? Like some girls really do want full commitment with a ring in the future, or it’s nothing. But that’s such a weird thing to expect when you’re nineteen.”

  I picked up one triangle of my sandwich. “I mean, seriously. People don’t know how to live in the now. Why do we all have to have some five-year plan that won’t even be possible to follow? Life doesn’t work that way. Everything is fluid.”

  I took a bite and moaned as my eyes rolled back in my head. “I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t had one of these in forever or because I’m starving, but this is incredible.”

  He smiled at me as he chewed and swallowed. “It’s the peanut-butter-to-jelly ratio.”

  “You and your math,” I said with a shake of my head and a smile on my lips, wondering why he had to be so funny and smart and hot and amazing. It wasn’t even fair. “The only time I love math is when it’s coming out of your mouth.”

  His smile climbed on one side. “What’s sixty-nine plus sixty-nine?”

  I narrowed my eyes, trying to sort it out.

  “Dinner for four.”

  I laughed and took another bite.

  “I’m like pi — really long and I go on forever.”

  More laughing, lips closed, chasing it with a sip of water so I wouldn’t choke.

  He leaned on the counter, still smirking at me. “I’m not obtuse; you’re acute chick.”

  “Okay, that one was bad.” I kept stuffing my face now that the hunger switch had been flipped.

  “What do math and my dick have in common?”

  My brow rose as I swallowed.

  “They’re both hard for you.”

  That time, I laughed hard enough that I snorted.

  Bodie set down his sandwich and dusted off his hands. The look in his eyes made me take one more bite, a big one that I chewed hastily, figuring dinner might be over.

  “Can I plug my solution into your equation?” he asked, voice low and smile crooked as he rounded the island.

  “I dunno. Can you?”

  “Maybe I can be your math tutor for the night.” He spun me around on the stool. “Add a bed.” His hands slipped up my thighs, opening them. “Subtract your clothes.” His hands moved higher until they rested in the bend of my hips. “Divide your legs.” He nestled between my legs, angling for my lips. “And multiply.”

  I wanted to laugh, but when he kissed me, I forgot what was so funny.

  Obsessed— that was what I was.

  Obsessed with her salty, sweet lips against mine.

  Obsessed with her milky-white thighs around my waist.

  Obsessed with her silky purple hair between my fingers.

  Obsessed with her.

  I’d been kissing her for long enough that she was panting, and my heart was thundering like a racehorse.

  She was perfect — other than the fact that she didn’t want to date me. Yet.

  I broke away, leaving her sitting on the stool with her eyes still shut and her lips parted like they were waiting for me.

  “I want you naked,” I growled as I reached behind me to pull off my shirt.

  When I looked down at her, her eyes were half open as she fumbled with the zipper on her skirt.

  I dropped my pants and stepped out of them, grabbed her by the waist to lift her up and set her down hard enough that her ass slapped against the surface of the counter with a pop and a yelp.

  My hands moved up her waist and under her Ramones shirt, pushing it up and over her head. Her lavender hair spilled out of the neck like a waterfall, and I tossed the shirt behind me. She reached for my face, pulling me to her for another kiss, and I lost myself in her hot mouth for a long moment — until she shifted, pressing her wet pussy against my shaft.

  I groaned into her mouth with one hand clutching the back of her head to keep her mouth against mine while the other roamed to her breast, kneading and squeezing, my thumb playing with the barbell in her nipple until she whimpered.

  That sound connected straight to my cock. I wanted to record it. I wanted to he
ar it on a loop. I wanted to touch her until she moaned and called my name.

  I broke away. “Naked. Now.”

  She reached behind her back, panting, and she unhooked her bra as I swept an arm on the island behind her to clear it, sending utensils clattering to the floor. She was shimmying out of her skirt when I lost all patience and pulled it down her legs to toss it.

  “Lie down,” I ordered.

  Penny rested back on her elbows, her body stretched out in offering, illuminated by the overhead lights.

  She was a fucking dream, a fantasy, with her legs spread open and eyes hot, locked on mine, as I grabbed a condom from the pocket of my jeans. When I ripped open the packet, she shifted her gaze to watch my hands grip my cock and roll it on. Her lip slipped between her teeth, and I stroked.

  “What do you want, Penny?”

  “I want your cock,” she breathed, opening her legs wider. “I’ve wanted it since I walked in the door. What do you want, Bodie?”

  I stepped to her, one hand still pumping my shaft, the other grabbing her ankle to pull her to the edge of the counter.

  “I want to bury myself in you until I can’t get any deeper. I want to fill you up so much, you’ll feel empty when I’m gone.” I rested the tip of my cock against her piercing, pressing it into her with my thumb on my shaft. “I want to fuck you so hard, you’ll never forget me.”

  She writhed and whispered, “I won’t if you won’t.”

  I ran my cock down the line, and when I hit the dip, I flexed my hips, filling her agonizingly slow, my eyes on the seam where I disappeared into her.

  “Fuck,” she whispered.

  When I glanced up, her head was hanging back, her neck stretched out, her long white fingers circling her taut, rosy nipple.

  “Jesus,” I breathed, my thighs trembling as I pulled out slow and eased back in.

  My hands slipped under her thighs and brought them up parallel with my body, her calves tucked between my ribs and arms. I felt her feet stretch out to a point as I pulled out and slammed in.

  She lay down flat, chest heaving as one hand worked her nipple and the other founding the piercing between her legs, rubbing a circle in time with my hips.

  She felt like heaven, soft and wet and tight, and as I watched her touching herself, I was too close, too soon. I wanted to fuck her all night, all day tomorrow, all week. For a year. For as long as she’d have me.

  I slowed my pace and pulled out, eliciting another whimper from her — this time, in mourning — but I ignored it, grabbing her thighs to scoot her back until her hair hung over the edge, giving me room to crawl up with her. I pushed her thighs apart with my knees, and she lifted her legs, opening them up, hooking them around my hips as I positioned myself to slide into her again.

  “Come on,” she said hotly. “Fill me up.”

  So I did, not at all gently that time, not stopping until there was no space between us.

  I caught sight of the jelly jar and smiled, slowing my hips so I could reach for it. She peeled her eyes open and looked over, wickedly smiling back.

  “Still hungry?” I asked.

  She nodded.

  I dipped my thumb into the jelly and brought it to her lips, parted and so full, smearing it across the bottom one. Her pink tongue slid out to lick it clean, and I cupped her jaw, slipping my thumb into the heat of her mouth. She closed her lips and sucked, wrapping her wet tongue around it.

  I hooked the digit and forced her mouth open so I could take it with my own, wanting her tongue against mine.

  My hips took control, rocking and pumping and fucking her, unaware of anything before or after, only that moment, only her body.

  She bent her legs wound around my hips to force me to get as deep as possible, holding me there as she twisted at the waist to guide me onto my back. I did, not caring that I was lying on a sandwich, not caring about anything outside of the feeling of being buried in Penny.

  She sat up and rested her hands on my chest, her eyes down and lips parted, and when she moved, when she shifted her hips and moaned, my head kicked back, my hands gripping her tattooed thighs like she’d fly away if I didn’t hang on to her.

  “Bodie,” she called.

  I found myself enough to open my eyes and sit up, wrapping my arms around her to crush her against me, to bury my face in her neck, to twist her hair in my hands as she rocked against me making the sweetest noises I’d ever heard.

  “I’m gonna come,” she whispered, her hips moving faster with every rotation.

  I let her go, leaning back enough that I could watch her with my hands on her hips, guiding her as she ground and bounced harder against me, the slap of her ass against my thighs speeding my pulse, speeding time. And when she came, breasts jostling, a cry on her lips, eyes pinched shut, I kept her hips going as I came so hard, I thought my chest was going to explode from the force.

  The sight of her coming would be burned into the back of my eyelids for the rest of my life.

  She collapsed on top of me, and I lay back, taking her with me. She pulsed around my cock, slowing with each heartbeat, and I pumped inside of her lazily in answer.

  “Hey, Penny?” I asked, my voice low and rough.

  “Hmm?” she hummed against my chest.

  “Are you the square root of negative one? Because you can’t be real.”

  She laughed, nestling a little deeper into my chest, and I tried to pretend like she wasn’t already finding her way into my heart.

  Fuck you, Brad

  Penny had left that night with a long goodbye kiss and a smile full of promise, and since we’d seen each other twice in twenty-four hours, I figured I’d hear from her soon.

  Wrong.

  The first day hadn’t been so bad although I ended up in the gym twice to try to get my mind off of her. The second day, I’d tried to satiate my thoughts by watching her show. I’d avoided it because I thought it might be creepy, and when I’d turned it on, it was with the intention of watching a single episode. Eight hours later, I’d made it almost through the season and had Cheetos dust all over my T-shirt. And I’d felt a zillion times worse. I’d even picked up my phone to text her enough times that I threw the fucking thing in my nightstand drawer so I’d stop thinking about it. That had lasted a solid hour before I’d caved and retrieved it and commenced staring.

  I was on day three, and I wasn’t happy about it.

  Three days. Three agonizing days of pounding away at my keyboard instead of her ass. Three days without a single sexual pun that hadn’t come from my brother. Three nights of my hand on my jock, thinking about her spread eagle on my counter. Three long days without my hands in places they tingled at the thought of. Places where my tongue should be, like deep in her—

  “Dude, did you hear me?”

  I turned to Jude, frowning. “Huh?”

  He rolled his eyes. “God, you’re so fucking sad. Just text her.”

  I scowled. “Don’t you think I would if I could?”

  “What’s the matter? Fingers broken? Didn’t pay your phone bill?”

  “Fuck you, Jude.”

  “You act like she’s some delicate fucking flower.”

  My eyes narrowed. “She’s more delicate than you think. I can’t just text her, man. That’s not how this works.”

  He shook his head. “Your big plan to woo Penny is to not talk to her? It’s to let her ghost you?”

  “She hasn’t ghosted me, asshole.”

  “Maybe she has, dickwad. You haven’t heard anything in three days and have been walking around here like a goddamn rottweiler who had his bone stolen.”

  My scowl deepened.

  “Get it? Your bone?”

  “I hate you,” I muttered as I turned back to my screen.

  “Liar. You know I’m right.”

  I turned in my chair to face him again. “No, you’re fucking not. My big plan is to leave the ball in her court so I don’t come off as needy. The last thing a chick who wants no strings needs is a guy
up her ass.”

  “Maybe she does need a guy up her ass,” he joked with his eyebrows waggling.

  “Fucking cretin.”

  “I’m just saying, what rule states you can’t even text her after three days?”

  “Oh my God,” I groaned with a roll of my eyes. “All of them, dipshit. You had a girlfriend way too long.”

  “And you might have cocked it all up by acting like you’re not interested.”

  I huffed. “I’ve gotta play this smart, Jude. She’s going to come back around. I know it.”

  “And if she doesn’t?”

  “Then I’ll figure it out.” My hope sank like the Titanic, slowly and with a chill. He wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t right. There was no way of knowing, not until she texted me. I checked my phone, just like I had about four billion times in the last three days.

  Nothing.

  I ran a hand through my hair.

  Jude watched me. “You should take a walk. Get out of the apartment. We’ve been cooped up here for three days, working and binge-watching TV, and I think you need some vitamin D, since you’re not giving any.”

  I made a face. “Hilarious, jackhole. And I would have already seen her show if you’d fucking told me about it when you found out.”

  “I did tell you, bro.”

  “Dude, there’s no way I would forget you telling me that Penny was on TV. Literally no fucking way.”

  “Well, there’s no fucking way I wouldn’t have told you because I knew you’d had a boner for her for a decade.”

  I chuffed, opening my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.

  “I’m serious. Why don’t you get us ice cream? It’s, like, a thousand degrees out, and you’re miserable. No one can be miserable after ice cream. It’s scientifically impossible.”

  I sighed and stood, sticking a finger in his face. “Fine. But only if you promise to keep your fucking mouth shut about Penny. It’s hard enough without your nagging.”

  “Yeah, I bet it is.”