Vanilla Moon: Acrimony

by Airiel Hawkins

  My heart raced and my mouth went dry. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment. "Like?" I asked as I opened them again.

  Ravyn shifted in her seat and started to run her fingers through Leon's hair. It was unusual for her to look so uncomfortable. She always seemed to be an embodiment of grace to me. "You need to make sure that everyone in the pack has food, clothing, shelter, and support," she explained. "Your job is to make sure that you take care of everyone. Wolfgang's is to make sure they are safe and lead them in times of struggle, as he's doing now. Since you are his mate and you are no longer pregnant, people may challenge him because the situation implicates you as a weak mate. Wolfgang earned his place as Volsunga when he fought Riley for it. Now you need to do the same."

  "What?" I asked. "You mean you want me to fight for…" I stared at her as the realization started to hit me.

  "No, you do not need to fight anyone," she said, confirming my suspicions. "You need to prove yourself. You need to make sure that you are capable of being his mate."

  My hands started to shake, and my breaths came quick and shallow. My stomach tied itself in knots. I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat and stared at her. "You're telling me that I'm on a deadline to get pregnant?" I whispered. The very idea sounded absurd, yet Ravyn nodded with that serious look on her face.

  I shook my head and felt tears burn my eyes. "This is bullshit," I hissed. "Bullshit!" I brushed tears from my eyes and shook my head. "From day one, I haven't been good enough for this pack. I was a Witch's stepdaughter. I came from New York. I met Wolfgang too soon. Mated with him too soon…. Now his baby was stolen from me too soon because some fucking Witches decided to fuck with me instead of just killing me…." I paused and sucked in a deep breath. "For the first time, Scotland looks like a fucking great idea," I whispered.

  Ravyn gave me a patient stare. She knew that I wouldn't go anywhere because she knew that I wouldn't force Wolfgang to leave—not after he fought to get the right to lead the pack back. Sacrifice. That was the game we played. No matter how inadequate the pack may find me, I will continue to bend over backward and perform any trick they wanted… because it was my job.

  "This is bullshit," I muttered, folding my arms and slouching in my chair.

  "I agree," Ravyn replied. There was an air of sadness surrounding her and I knew that she was the only person in this pack who would ever understand. "I know what you're going through," she told me. "I'm not an Adamsville native either. The first time I met the pack, I met them as their Skaapie. You, on the other hand, have a chance to know them before you lead them. Leon and I have been here for fifteen years and it took me several of them to win the people over."

  "Years?" I asked. She nodded. "How much contact did you have with them?"

  "Not enough," she confessed with a wry chuckle.

  "Full moons?" I asked.

  She nodded. "Only."

  I let out a bitter laugh. "Fantastic," I muttered.

  "We can hope that it goes better for you than it did for me."

  "Yeah, well, I feel like I'm being slapped in the face."

  "I know."

  "This is bullshit."

  "I agree."

  "I hate this."

  "I know."

  I ran my hands through my hair and exhaled in a huff. All I could think was that the day couldn't get any worse. Of course, the moment I thought that the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach told me that I was wrong. Something else could, and probably would go wrong. If I was the gambling type, I'd put my entire trust fund into something going bad and triple my money.

  I wanted the feeling to go away. More than revenge, more than justice, more than anything I could think of, I wanted that feeling of dread to go away.

  Hadn't we been through enough already?

  Chapter 8 ~Wolfgang~

  The doorbell rang. I looked at my phone for the first time in hours and found that it was still too early for guests even on a normal day. On a day like today, a ring of the doorbell this early had dangerous implications. With few exceptions, the entire pack was under my roof. Whoever was at the door could not be a friend.

  My heart raced as I moved Mira from my lap. She climbed back up into the chair once I vacated it and continued to watch her movie. I walked out of the library and saw that I was not the only one who heard the chime. When I reached the door, Cynthia stood at my side with a gun in her hands.

  Guns were not our first choice of weapons. All of us were skilled enough fighters that, often, our own bodies were a powerful enough weapon that we didn't need to worry about using anything else. However, there were times when we knew that we needed to be faster than our claws. Or stronger. No matter how powerful our strength, a bullet could reach a heart faster than our fists.

  Cynthia nodded to me, indicating that she was ready for whatever waited on the other side of the threshold. I nodded to her and opened the first door. I stepped into the mudroom and saw two people on the other side of the main door through the textured glass. I sniffed the air to see if I could identify who was on the other side.

  Two scents greeted me first. Death and old age. I held up my hand to Cynthia, instructing her to wait before she jumped out with her finger on the trigger. Cautious, I glanced through the peephole.

  Outside of the house was the Hunter. Instead of his daughters, he brought with him another man who was shorter than average for men these days. The smell wafting off him reminded me of dusty attics, which was how I identified them in my head.

  I backed away from the door with a sigh of relief. I looked back at Cynthia and waved her down. I heard her holster her gun before I opened the door, wondering why it took them so long to arrive.

  "Clive," I said. I folded my arms as I stood in the doorway. I would be the barrier if the door was open. I would keep them out of this house unless they had a damn good reason for coming in. "Why are you here?"

  The human gave me a sad look. "We are here to speak to you about the tragedy that befell your pack this morning," he explained.

  My gaze turned to the vampire. Our pack never had any issues with them because we all came to the same conclusion while my grandfather was still alive; we only hurt ourselves by fighting each other. We developed a type of peace that was unstable on its best days because we didn't trust the other beyond a reasonable doubt. The peace with them was never as tense as the one we had with the Witches before Ceres's arrival, which was why it never exploded the same way.

  I stepped back and allowed them to enter the house. Once the door closed, I took them to the den because I didn't want Mira to know about any of this. Cynthia followed us and stood at the doorway while we sat down on the couches. "I'm surprised that it took you this long to show up," I confessed.

  Clive shifted in his seat, His gaze slid to Cynthia and the Vampire before he met my eyes again. "We did not expect that you could have known and had enough people to…."

  "Clean up the pieces?" I supplied, my voice cold and harsh. Cynthia winced. Clive looked away again, this time to the floor. His cheeks flushed and I smelled his shame. "We had one survivor capable of alerting us," I informed him. "As soon as we heard her screams for help, we ran after her. She told us about the attack, and we scrambled together to find the survivors. We did what we could at the Grounds. We've had almost five hours," I said in a voice that was almost a whisper. "Most of the children don't know that there's anything wrong yet. They don’t know they're orphans. They don't have families anymore. Some of the people slaughtered were out there for their very first Hunt. We were there as soon as we knew they needed us in the hopes that it would make a difference. We found ten survivors; two died at the clinic."

  "It was a wrong assumption," the Hunter replied. He sighed. "Wolfgang, we are here because the Witches refuse to speak to us," he informed me. "Ancient magic prevents them from attacking my people, but they may refuse to meet with us. The woman in charge, Brenda, has indicated that she has no intention of backing down. We cannot act again
st her because she is strong enough to refuse our orders. Our purpose here this morning is to give you the clearance to use whatever means necessary to neutralize the threat."

  I gaped at him. Even Cynthia at the door stared with her mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe he had the gall to tell me this now. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I whispered. "You realize that if you did this two weeks ago, instead of threatening to punish us, I would not have four hundred friends to mourn? That I would not have forty orphans? You told us that if we acted, we would be banished from our home because the human authorities were getting curious. Now four hundred more people are fucking dead because of your order and now you want to give us the clearance to act? This will bring the humans sniffing around for certain."

  He hung his head again, eyes downcast. "I had no way to know that the damage would be this severe," he whispered in a soft, defeated voice.

  I shook my head. "Get out," I said. "Do not ever talk to me about my friends and family as if they are damaged property. Get out of my house."

  "Wolfgang, please," he said with sorrowful eyes. "We have more to discuss."

  I stood. "What else is there?" I asked. "You gave me permission to avenge my pack. That's all I need to know. If you have anything else to discuss, you can do so with my father when he is well."

  "Sit down," Clive said with a commanding note in his voice. I felt the power behind it and wanted to laugh.

  "Fuck you," I spat.

  I left the den. I couldn't bring myself to stay there and hear them attempt to rectify the situation. I heard the only thing that mattered to me. We had a green light to destroy the bitch who slaughtered my people.

  I sat down on the staircase and sighed as I ran my hands through my hair. With the ease of years of practice, I pulled my hair into a ponytail with the band around my wrist. I couldn't believe that this day could get any worse, but I knew the possibility was out there. It loomed in the background like a nightmare you couldn't shake when you woke.

  Of course, that was when they walked out of the den. Cynthia trailed behind them, guiding the pair and keeping them from getting to the rest of the house. The vampire looked at Clive before he stepped up to me. "My kiss is available if you need us," he said. "My contact information is in the book."

  I nodded. "Thank you," I said. "I'll be in touch if I need you."

  He bowed his head before he held out a folded map. "I believe you will find this to be quite useful." I took it from him before he turned away from me. He placed a hand on Clive's shoulder and walked him out of the house.

  When the door closed, I felt a void in the pit of my stomach. A scream bubbled up inside of me and I forced myself to swallow it back down. I held my head in my hands and let out a heavy sigh. "Fuck my life…."

  Cynthia sat down next to me on the steps and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "It'll be alright," she promised.

  I scoffed. "How?" I asked, looking at her. As my best friend's mother, that made her a surrogate mom to me in her own right. I respected her, admired her, and always listened when she spoke. In a lot of ways, she was what I hoped Ceres would be someday. Yes, my mom was strong enough to maintain the position of Skaapie, but she hovered in the background far too much for my liking. Cynthia was the woman who stood with my father in all things, as both his protector and his friend.

  She sighed. "We're going to get through this," she said. "You'll see. Your dad did a lot to build this pack back up after the bastard who took it away from your grandfather almost destroyed it. We can do that again. There are always Lycans out there looking for new homes for one reason or another. We have allies we can reach out to so that we may replenish our numbers. The people will mourn their losses, of course, but we will heal. Trust me."

  I closed my eyes and tried not to feel sick to my stomach. "You know, this whole thing has made me realize that I'm not ready to be the Enkidu," I confessed. "I feel like this is a trial run and I'm just fucking it up…. Dad trusted me to keep the pack safe and I didn't do that because we didn't know what they were capable of."

  "Your dad trusted the pack to keep itself safe," Cynthia said correcting me. "If he wanted you to keep everyone safe, he would have had us all waiting at the Resting Grounds. We wouldn't have stood a chance against the Witches and none of us would be alive now to know there was a problem. And you're not fucking anything up, Wolfie," she said, giving me a reassuring squeeze. "You're doing a great job. You're doing better than I would."

  I stared at her, not sure how to respond or even what to think. "Really?" I asked.

  She nodded. "Oh yes," she said. "You have a plan. It's a rough one without any real details yet, but it's still a plan. And it's a good one. You acted early to save as many people as possible. Me?" she asked. "I would have crawled into a corner and lost my mind," she confessed. "That many people dead? That many friends? And to have to lead the pack through it all?" She shook her head. "No way," she whispered. "I can't separate myself from the people here. I can't compartmentalize like you are. When this is over, take time to grieve. Until then, let's go to war."

  I nodded. "Sounds good to me," I said with a rough voice. I didn't know what I was feeling, but I was glad to know she thought so highly of me.

  I heard the footsteps coming down the stairs and smelled her before she spoke. "Do you know where Riley is?"

  I looked over my shoulder to see Selena standing on the staircase with a worried look on her face. I cleared my throat. "He's with Ceres at the clinic," I informed her. "My mom needed her to bring something by, so I told Riley to go with her as protection. Everyone else is busy and you're a little on the pregnant side."

  She let out a humorless chuckle and sat down on the steps with us. "With any luck, Riley won't put his foot in his mouth again."

  "Any more luck and Ceres will let him apologize," I added with a chuckle.

  Selena laughed. "Ceres isn't very good at letting the people she's mad at tell her they're sorry."

  I smirked, knowing she was right. "She's very stubborn," I agreed.

  "What's this?" Cynthia asked.

  "Riley had a case of foot-in-mouth disease this morning," I said, turning to her. "I punched him for it, and it put Ceres's head almost right back where she was a month ago."

  "Did he say something about the baby?" she asked.

  I nodded. "He implied that she should have known that something would happen to the baby that day and that she should have made some sort of effort to stop it."

  Cynthia gaped at me. "He didn't!" she gasped.

  Selena and I nodded. "He did," she replied. "He was a bit of an idiot."

  Cynthia sighed. "That boy," she said, shaking her head.

  I nodded and looked at Selena again. "Can you do me a favor?" I asked. She nodded. "I'm going to head over to the clinic and find out what's taking so long over there. I can't take Mira because Mom doesn't want her there today. Can you keep an eye on her for me and tell Luke to call me when they get back?" I asked.

  Selena looked at Cynthia before she replied, "I can, but why don't you just call her?"

  I gave her a small smile. "I need to get out of here for a bit," I said. "I have to feel like I'm doing something. At the clinic, I can at least interview the survivors and see what they know." I looked at Cynthia. "Come with?" I asked.

  Cynthia nodded and stood up. I looked back at Selena and waited for an answer.

  "Where is she?" she asked.

  "The library," I explained. "She was watching a movie on the computer. It should be just about over."

  Selena nodded before she stood up and stepped passed us to get to the library. I let out a grunt as I pulled myself up and made my way to my truck with Cynthia behind me. Elliot had brought it back a while ago and returned the keys to me. The rain washed most of the blood out of the truck, but I could still smell traces of it, so I knew that it didn't get it all. I'd need to head to the car wash soon.

  Without much thought, I drove to the clinic. Cynthia and I didn't talk along the way.
There wasn't much to say yet.

  When we reached the converted warehouse, I sat in the cab and stared at the doors. I hated being here. Some of my worst memories happened behind those doors… such as the moment Dr. Cyrus confirmed we weren't going to be parents yet after all.

  I knew I couldn't hide out here forever. The parking lot wasn't going to help me be productive. The only thing it had going for it was that it was safe from the image of my father's broken body.

  I took in a deep steadying breath and closed my eyes as I let it out. My hands clenched the steering wheel to keep from shaking as the memory of what he looked like came to mind as if it had been waiting for me to touch on the thought. I saw the blood and bones… the stitches and oxygen tube… the pit that used to be his right eye….

  Cynthia put her hand on my shoulder. I swallowed the bile that threatened to rise in my throat. I opened the door of the truck. The cold air hit me and helped calm my nerves. I wouldn't be alright again until I saw Ceres. She was my only salvation and she was inside of the building I hated.

  I got out of the cab. The wind picked up and I smelled rain in the air again. I sloshed through the slush of the sleet and crunched over ice. I buried my hands in my pockets as I walked with Cynthia behind me. When I entered the clinic, I was surprised to find Sophia manning the front desk instead of Bree.

  "Hi," she said.

  I let my confusion show. "Where's Bree?" I asked.

  "Vomiting in the lady's room," she replied. "She's still in her first trimester."

  I blinked at her. "I didn't even know that she's pregnant," I said. I realized at that moment that there was so much I didn't know about the people around me. So many of them died and I barely knew their names….

  Sophia nodded. "She isn't strong enough to hold off her shift," she said. "There had to be some reason she wasn't on the Hunt last night."

  I nodded, more to myself than to her. "Mate or lover?" I asked.