Atonement (Heaven Sent Book 1)

by JL Rothstein

  Jared hugged her tightly. “Are you ready?”

  “I’m so ready.” She said. “It’s the second-best thing you’ve ever given me.”

  “The first better be that ring on your finger,” he quipped.

  “No,” she said as she peered up and into his deep brown eyes. “The best thing you ever gave me was your heart.”

  Gen felt the warmth of someone sleeping beside her. A strong arm was draped across her small frame. She sensed the brightness of morning splashing over her face even before she dared open her eyes. She knew the windows were open, she could hear the snapping of the curtain’s fabric as it billowed in the whipping wind that had swooped in to greet her.

  She inhaled deeply and smelled a mix of Gabriel and fresh cut grass as it wafted over her. I’m not dreaming, he’s here, he’s right here holding me. Her mind shook off the remnants of the dream she had been in. She didn’t want to move as if she thought he might suddenly vanish.

  Her mind sifted through the last several days, bits and pieces of it came back in disarray. She had been hurt badly, inside and out. She remembered walking toward Gabriel on the field, but then blackness enveloped her. She remembered her sisters standing above her in the living room, their arms raised over her bruised and battered body. She remembered the crushing sensation of pain as she struggled to heal. A memory of Gabriel feeding her soup and then talking quietly until she fell back to sleep warmed her.

  How long have I been out of it? she thought. I have no idea how long it’s been since the battle.

  She felt her husband stir and turned toward him. Gabriel groaned and mumbled to her sleepily. “It’s okay,” he told her. “You’re home.” She heard his breathing get heavy almost immediately, he was already falling back to sleep.

  Gen rested her head against his chest and listened to his beating heart. She had heard it a thousand times, but due to the long absence it somehow all felt new again. She slipped her hand beneath his shirt and rubbed his bare skin, feeling new scars where unblemished skin had once been. She heard him moan in response and fully wake.

  “Hey,” he said to her. “You’re awake.” She felt him lift his head and look down at her. She looked up and smiled at him.

  “Yes, but somehow this still feels like a dream.”

  “It’s not,” Gabriel told her. “I’m really here, with you, in our old house no less.”

  He squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. Her heart filled a little and broke at the same time. He’ll be gone soon.

  Gen pushed up and off his chest, turning to leave the bed.

  “What’s the rush?” he asked.

  “How much time do we have before you need to go back?” Gen asked. “I know it can’t be long.”

  Gabriel’s eyes followed her around the room as she proceeded to get dressed.

  “Let’s just say I’m overdue.”

  “That’s what I thought.” Gen sighed heavily. “I am assuming my siblings are all downstairs waiting for a debrief.”

  “Um …” Gabriel got up slowly and got dressed himself. “No one else is here.”

  Gen stopped short. “What do you mean? Where are Kelly and Deb?”

  “Kelly went off with Jared for a few days before he had to leave. When she returned, she grabbed some clothes and said she was going to stay with Dan.”

  “And Deb?”

  “She’s been staying with Harry.”

  “Wow, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you’ll get undressed and get back in bed with me.”

  Gen laughed, the thought had crossed her mind, and not for the first time.

  “How about something to eat first?”

  He smiled at her and it sent her head swimming in thoughts of being alone with him. But I won’t have that for long. Gen smiled through the painful thought. The mind was cruel sometimes.

  After eating something small they went out to the screened-in porch off the kitchen. She had managed to paint it before everything happened and in the breezy morning air, she still smelled remnants of it.

  “The garden looks amazing,” Gabriel said. “I keep looking at it, wondering how it can be the same yard, the same street, the same place.”

  “I know,” Gen said to him. She took the lightweight throw she had carried out with her and draped it over them. They were on the small loveseat that sat against the far wall. “I can’t imagine what it must be like to realize forty years has gone by.”

  He draped his arm behind her and pulled her a little closer. The smell of the coffee from the mug he held in his other hand hit her. It was like she was transported back in time. How many times have we sat out here and talked about our future, Gabe? she thought.

  “A thousand maybe,” he said.

  “What?” Gen asked confused.

  “We must have sat out here a thousand times and talked about our future.”

  “The ring,” she whispered. “That means you know what I was thinking upstairs.”

  “Before or after you were thinking of making love to me?” he said with a grin.

  She elbowed him gently and he chuckled.

  “We need to talk,” she said. “It’s not like we can pretend you’re back, though I really want to do that.”

  “I know.” He looked over and she felt his heartache echo her own.

  “Where do we start?”

  “I will tell you everything, you deserve to know.” He paused. “But you need to understand, there’s a cost, a price I’ll have to pay.”

  “I don’t understand, Gabe. What do you mean?”

  “The Pit, it’s a place you pay for the things you’ve done wrong.” He shifted in his seat pulling back his arm so he could face her more fully.

  “I know. Kelly explained it as a sort of penance.” She watched him nod.

  “You’re not allowed to tell anyone about it, while you’re there. You can only tell your story once you have paid for your sins in full.”

  “You’re saying that even if the ring had stayed on,” Gen glanced down at her wedding band, “and we were connected, you wouldn’t have been able to tell me anything about it?”

  “Correct.”

  “But I would have felt you?” she asked.

  “I think you were feeling me. My pain anyway. That’s all there is in the Pit. Pain.”

  Gen’s heart ached a little. She placed her hand on top of his and squeezed. “If you tell me about it now, before it’s done, what’s the price?”

  “I’m not sure, but I can guess it would be more time.” Before she could say anything, he added. “It might not be just me that has to pay it, Gen.”

  Gen understood. “It might punish Jared too.” She watched him nod.

  “And Dmitri,” he added.

  “Dmitri.” Gen sucked in a breath. “So he is with you, even though we all saw him after you were gone.”

  “Dmitri is part of the reason Jared and I were able to come at all.”

  “What do you mean?” Gen was confused. “How?”

  “Dmitri’s knowledge of all the realms is unparalleled. He figured out how to smuggle the two of us out. We didn’t even know it was possible, let alone that we could make it out without getting caught. He’s back there now covering for me, but—”

  “Don’t tell me anything else.” Gen interrupted him. “You have your reasons. I trust you. You can tell me when you come back to me for good.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I am,” she said. “I don’t know how my ring came off. Honestly, I don’t remember. I’d been searching for you for weeks on end. I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t sleeping, and I felt this anger that wouldn’t go away.”

  “Gen, that might have been my feelings mimicked onto you. It was probably me you were feeling.” He shook his head back and forth. “I was angry all the time, you almost have to be to survive in that place.”

  “I was so scared something bad had happened to you.” Gen’s mind raced back to that time and tears sprung from her eyes.

&n
bsp; Gabriel looked at her heartbroken. “I’m so sorry, Gen.”

  “When I woke, the ring was on a thick chain hanging from my neck. I didn’t dare put it on, fearful I would know you were gone. I couldn’t bare it. Instead I stayed in this denial, hunting down leads and driving everyone nearly mad as I did so.”

  “I felt the moment the ring came off. It was like someone had stabbed me in the chest. I hadn’t been able to speak with you, but somehow, despite the heartache, I knew you were okay and then…” He paused as Gen got up and knelt in front him. “Then there was nothing. Gen, I had to live in that Hell hole not knowing if I would ever see you again.”

  “I’m sorry, sorry for both of us,” Gen said as she looked up into her husband’s war-torn face. “I know we’re almost out of time. I’m grateful you stayed, that you figured out how to come for me when I was in trouble, but we’ve paid enough of a price. We’ve both been in a sort of prison for far too long.”

  Gen stood and opened the glass door into the house. Turning back she held her hand out to him. “Let’s go back to bed.”