The Hope

by Patricia Davids

“I think there is a man looking this way. He had on a dark baseball cap and sunglasses.”

  Owen stepped onto the porch and stared in the same direction. “I see the car driving away.”

  He shook off the sense of unease. “It was probably someone picking up aluminum cans or bird-watching.”

  After breakfast Owen took them all back to Ruth’s on the tractor. The rest of the day passed rapidly as more people came to drop off food or simply visit briefly. Grace remained quiet and sullen. Even a visit with Harriet and Caleb didn’t cheer her. Late in the afternoon the sheriff pulled in. Ruth invited him in. Grace gave him a sour look and raced upstairs.

  He nodded toward her retreating form. “She’s taking it hard, isn’t she? Can’t say that I blame her. Bad business all around.”

  He turned to Owen. “The medical examiner has released your sister’s body to the mortuary recommended by Bishop Weaver. They will bring her here tomorrow if that is acceptable.”

  A chill ran up Owen’s spine. Was he ready for that? Was Grace? A wave of grief brought sudden tears to his eyes. He blinked hard to hold them back. He felt Ruth take his hand. He gave her fingers a gentle squeeze and looked at the sheriff. “That will be fine.” His voice didn’t crack, and he was glad.

  “We’ve had a couple of persistent reporters asking about attending the service. I thought I’d ask you before I told them no.”

  Owen cleared his throat. “Tell them it is a private service.”

  The sheriff settled his hat on his head. “I’ll see that they understand. The story made it into a few of the local papers. I’m sorry we couldn’t stop it.”

  “I understand.”

  “You can expect a letter from Miss Landry soon. You’ll have to make a court appearance to be appointed Grace’s legal guardian if we can’t locate her father.”

  Owen shifted from one foot to the other. “I had the feeling that Miss Landry didn’t approve of Grace staying with me. Will that be a problem?”

  “I don’t think so. You are her next of kin until we can locate her father. We’ve had no luck with that. There is a chance her DNA will provide us with a match. What my office did learn from researching land records is that a Thelma Stoltzfus purchased a small farm outside Columbia, Missouri, ten years ago. Her daughter, Rebecca Stoltzfus, inherited the place. It might be Grace’s home. The sheriff there agreed to investigate further for us.”

  Owen was happy to hear what the sheriff had learned but Columbia was a long way from Cedar Grove. He had promised Grace he would take her home and he meant to keep that promise, but maybe they could return to Cedar Grove to see Ruth when Grace was ready.

  “When will this court appearance happen?” Ruth asked.

  “I’m sure that’ll be in the paperwork she’ll be sending. Oh, and tell Joshua I think he should split his interview fee with me.”

  Owen chuckled. “I’ll do that.”

  The sheriff touched the brim of his hat and left.

  Owen realized he was still holding Ruth’s hand. He laced his fingers through hers. They fit perfectly. He gazed into her eyes. He’d never felt so connected to another person. Holding her hand in his made him believe he might one day have a place by her side. “I appreciate you helping me keep it together. We Amish are supposed to be stoic, but I can’t seem to manage that.”

  “We Amish are human. We deal with human emotions the same as anyone else. I hope you know you are not alone. You have friends standing by ready to help carry your burden.”

  He squeezed her fingers. “I’m very grateful for one special friend.”

  She smiled and pulled her fingers away.

  He missed the warmth of her touch immediately and wished he had some reason to take her hand again. “Can I ask a favor? Will you talk to Grace about the funeral?”

  * * *

  OWEN TOOK GRACE down to the barn to visit Polkadot when the funeral home hearse drove up the next morning. Joshua, Thomas, William and Ben Zook, along with all the wives, arrived a short time later. Grace was busy petting Polkadot and didn’t seem to notice the activity up at the house. He didn’t want her to realize what was going on.

  She discovered that one of the sitting hens had hatched a half-dozen chicks. Their peeping and yellow fluffiness drew Grace out of her shell for a little while as she watched them explore the new world.

  About half an hour later, Ruth came down to the barn. She took a seat on a bale of straw and lifted the child onto her lap. “Grace, I have something to explain to you. We’re going to have a funeral for your mother. Your mother’s body is in the coffin in the house, but her spirit is not there. Her spirit is already with Gott. It will make you sad to see her, and that is okay. When you feel ready I want you to come into the house and see her. She looks like she is sleeping but she will never wake up. In a few days we will take her body to the cemetery and lay her to rest in the ground. It’s important for you to remember that she isn’t in pain or uncomfortable. She’s with the Lord in heaven.”

  Grace nodded. She was having to grow up much too fast. “Can I see her now?”

  “Owen will take you in.” She looked up at him.

  He nodded and took Grace by the hand. “This is the time that we say goodbye.”

  “Okay.” She slipped off Ruth’s lap and walked beside Owen to the house.

  * * *

  RUTH DREW A shaky breath. The task of hosting a funeral was a pointed reminder of the time Nathan died. Sadness enveloped her, but it wasn’t as suffocating as it had been in the past. Perhaps she was growing accustomed to the weight of it at last.

  Was it because of her time with Owen? He was so different than she had believed him to be. He was caring and kind. He had a sense of humor, thankfully not as overblown as Ernest’s.

  She had received a letter from Ernest the previous day. His mother’s poor health prevented him from returning for the funeral. Zack and Ella were coming and should reach home tomorrow. Faron had gone on a fishing trip with several new friends and wasn’t expected to return to Jamesport until the day after the funeral. Ruth was disappointed that more of Owen’s family couldn’t be with him but knowing Ella and Zack were on their way lifted her spirits.

  Ruth got up from the hay bale and went into the house. Owen and Grace were sitting quietly beside the coffin. Grace was holding on to Owen and only peeking occasionally at her mother. Rebecca was dressed in a white gown with a white apron and a white kapp. She was a pretty woman, and it saddened Ruth to think how someone had cut her life short.

  Ruth walked over to Owen and Grace. “We will expect visitors soon. It’s time we changed into our black dresses.”

  Grace got up without a comment and went upstairs. Ruth took a good look at Owen. He appeared more composed than she expected. “How are you holding up?” She laid her hand on his shoulder. He covered her hand with his.

  “Better now that you are here with me. You have a knack for raising my spirits.” He looked up at her and smiled.

  “I’m glad.” Her heart seemed to turn over in her chest. Every minute they spent together was becoming more precious.

  Zack and Ella arrived the following afternoon. Ruth hurried out of the house to meet the van the newlyweds had hired to drive them back to Kansas. Ella rushed to her mother and kissed her cheek.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt your wedding trip, but I’m so glad you could return. You can redd-up before supper. I know it was a long drive.” Ruth linked her arm through her daughter’s as they went into the house together. Zack followed behind them.

  Ella glanced at her husband. “I think we would like to pay our respects before we clean up.”

  Ruth smiled sadly. “Of course. Come into the living room.”

  Granny Weaver was seated beside the casket. The elderly woman was nodding off but perked up at the sound of voices. “Zack and Ella, how nice to see the happy newlyweds so soon.”

>   Zack took off his hat. “It is good to see you, too, Grossmammi Weaver.”

  Granny stood and gestured to the coffin. “Ella, this is your poor cousin Rebecca Mast. She was the sister that Owen searched for far and wide. At least the good Lord brought her to him so she could be buried with some of her kin. Her grandfather, his sohn Karl and his wife lie there.”

  Zack and Ella stood quietly by the side of the coffin sitting on sawhorses in the center of the room. After several minutes, Ella glanced at Ruth. “Where is Owen?”

  Ruth smiled at the mention of his name. “He’s in the barn with Grace. They’re cleaning the lamb nursery and making sure the warming boxes are all working before the lambs begin to arrive. He is trying to stay busy.”

  “And Grace? How is she taking this?”

  “She is quieter, withdrawn, not eating well and she’s not sleeping well. She has been staying here, and Owen has been sleeping in the lamb nursery.”

  Ella sat down on a chair next to Granny Weaver. “I’d like to stay here for a while. Do any of my friends know I’m back?”

  “Sarah, Melody and Angela have offered to be sitters. Sarah should be here soon to relieve Granny.”

  The outside door opened and Sarah Yoder came in, carrying a large box. Ella hurried to greet her. Sarah handed Ruth the box. “Laura Beth sent some food for the dinner tomorrow.” The two young women then embraced.

  Funerals among the Amish were a time to gather and enjoy the company of friends and family more than to mourn. Ruth’s grief was still a part of her, but the wall it had created around her emotions was crumbling where Owen was concerned.

  The funeral was conducted at Ruth’s home on the third day. The room around the coffin was filled with benches and chairs as were other areas of the house that the bishop’s voice could reach. Everyone wore black. Bishop Weaver spoke about the glory of being reunited with the Father in heaven. There was no mention of Rebecca’s life because no one knew what it had been like, but also because the life of the deceased person wasn’t to be celebrated, only the knowledge that they were now with God. The congregation was reminded that their earthly life was but a brief stepping-stone into eternity. One hymn was recited by the bishop but there was no singing. When the hour-and-a-half service finished, the mourners filed past the open casket and then out to their buggies and cars. Many of Ruth’s friends and neighbors, both Englisch and Amish, were in attendance.

  The coffin was loaded onto a black wagon. The line of black horse-drawn buggies stretched for a quarter of a mile behind the wagon carrying Rebecca Mast to her final resting place in the small Amish cemetery outside Cedar Grove.

  Behind the buggies came a slow procession of cars. Sheriff McIntyre in a patrol car with flashing lights brought up the rear. Several cars joined the procession behind the sheriff when they turned onto the highway.

  It was something the community had never seen before. Dozens of the people were Englisch neighbors and even folks from towns far away who had braved the cold and snow to search for the missing mother. Now they joined the Amish to show their respects. Only Grace and Owen had known Rebecca in life, but she had captured the hearts of the community in a poignant way that left few untouched.

  Owen had chosen to drive the hearse. Grace sat beside him on the wagon seat, a small lonely figure in a black bonnet and a black coat huddled beside her uncle on a cold gray morning.

  A reminder that life went on elsewhere was driven home to Ruth when she saw two tractors with loaded hay trailers stopped at a crossroads to let the procession pass. She happened to glance in her rearview mirror and saw the tractors pull out across the road once the sheriff’s car passed. They stopped, completely blocking the road to three trailing cars. The road curved and she couldn’t see anymore.

  Zack was driving her buggy. “The sheriff’s idea seems to have worked.”

  Ruth leaned forward to see him around Ella. “What idea?”

  “He said he couldn’t ban people, even reporters, from using a public road but there was no reason a couple of farmers couldn’t stop and visit for a spell in the middle of that same road.”

  “Those were reporters behind the sheriff?” She wished she had taken note of the colors of those cars. Was one of them the car she had seen stopped near Owen’s place?

  The Amish cemetery was enclosed by a split-rail fence approximately five miles from Cedar Grove. All the tombstones were small and simple. A name and the dates of birth and death were the only inscriptions. The newly dug grave smelled of freshly turned earth. The smell of spring and the season of new beginnings.

  Peace belonged to Rebecca at last. As a mother, Ruth knew Rebecca could rest knowing Grace was safe in the arms of people who loved her.

  Ruth helped Grace down from the hearse’s wagon seat and led her to the open grave.

  Quietly everyone gathered around as Rebecca’s coffin was removed from the wagon bed by the pallbearers. The men carried it on their shoulders across the grass and placed it on a small mound of dirt beside the grave. Bishop Weaver gave a short service in Pennsylvania Dutch and in English, and then the coffin was lowered into the ground.

  Ruth turned Grace over to Owen. He smiled his thanks but didn’t say anything. She left him and walked across the grass between the headstones. She noticed a small toy horse leaning against the headstone of a child who had passed away two years before. The couple behind her stopped and pulled a few weeds away from the stone. They were the child’s parents.

  Ruth walked on until she came to Nathan’s stone beside his mother’s and father’s graves. She cleared away some of the old leaves and ran her fingers over the edge of the stone. Time had dulled the edges of her grief so that her heart no longer cried out in pain. Her husband’s passing was part of God’s plan. That she remained behind was also part of His plan.

  “I wish I could talk to you, Nathan. There are so many things I would like to tell you. Owen is here, and you were right all along. We were meant to be friends.”

  Maybe more if he keeps chipping away at my resistance.

  “I still miss you. The children have grown so much. Ella and Zack are wedded. I know you are happy for them. Please keep an eye on Faron until he comes home.” She wasn’t surprised when Owen appeared at her side. He dropped to one knee and ran his fingers across the top of the headstone as she had done. “It’s tilting a little.”

  “I noticed. I’ll have the caretaker reset it before it gets worse. I’m ready to go if you are.”

  He stood and offered her a hand to help her to her feet. She laid her hand in his and realized how often they seemed to touch these days. It was a small thing but somehow it made a difference. It made her feel cherished. His eyes held a soft light as he gazed at her face.

  She glanced down to the stone. “Nathan, you were right. Owen and I should have become friends long ago. He might have come to visit us more often.”

  She drew a deep breath and smiled at Owen. “He spoke about you often with great affection. He truly felt you were his brother and best friend. I can’t tell you the number of times he made me laugh at stories of your boyish pranks.” She looked at Owen and saw the light fade from his eyes. Why? What had she said?

  He released her hand. “You still love him, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do.”

  He turned away, leaving her struggling to make sense of his withdrawal. “We should get back to the house. People are starting to leave. Will you take Grace with you?”

  Grace came running over to them. Her face was pale, and she was panting. “I need a safe place. Where’s a safe place?”

  Ruth picked up the panic-stricken child. “Grace, what’s wrong?”

  She hid her face in her hands. “I saw the bad man.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  OWEN SWEPT THE cemetery and surrounding area, looking for anyone out of place. “Where did you see him, Grace?”

/>   “By the trees.” She pointed over her shoulder.

  “I’ll go take a look.” Zack strode in the direction Grace had indicated. He stopped and got Joshua and the sheriff to go with him.

  Sarah came over. “What’s going on?”

  “A man frightened Grace.” Ruth was trying to get her calm.

  Sarah looked around the gathering. “I see a few unfamiliar faces. Grace, what did the man look like?”

  “He had black bug eyes and spiders on his neck.”

  “Bug eyes. You mean sunglasses?” Sarah asked.

  Grace nodded and wrapped her arms around Ruth’s neck. “I wanna go home.”

  Ruth patted her back. “We will. We’ll go home soon.”

  The men came back from checking the tree line. Joshua held his hands wide. “I didn’t see anyone.”

  Sarah rubbed Grace’s back. “Maybe she’s just overwrought. It wouldn’t be surprising.”

  Ruth bounced her gently. “You are probably right. I will ask the bishop to start the procession back to my house.”

  No one they talked to had seen a man in dark sunglasses until Granny Weaver spoke up. “I saw him. Back by the trees before the service got started.”

  “What was he doing?” the sheriff asked.

  “He was just watching us. I thought he was one of those reporters or something.”

  Owen looked around. “That would explain it. He seems to be gone now.”

  “I’m going to do a little more looking around.” The sheriff started to walk off but stopped. “Owen, I got word this morning that the Columbia property did belong to your sister.”

  “I appreciate your checking it out.” Now he knew for certain that he could take Grace home.

  Ella took her husband’s arm. “Would you drive the wagon home, so Owen can ride with us? I think it will make Grace feel better.”

  “Sure, I can do that.” Zack climbed onto the wagon and started down the road. Owen got in the buggy with Ruth, Grace and Ella. As the procession started back to Ruth’s farm they came upon the two farmers still visiting in the center of the road. On the other side of them several cars remained. One had attempted to go down into the ditch and up into the wheat field. The melting snow had left it as saturated as a sponge. The car was bottomed out. The other cars resorted to honking their horns every few minutes.