All I Ever Wanted

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All I Ever Wanted Page 7

by Alexa Land


  Josh eyed his dads and asked, “Do we have to double up?”

  “No,” Vincent said. “Nobody’s doubling up.” When he shot the teens a look, Josh rolled his eyes, and Darwin colored slightly.

  “I asked about the sleeping arrangements ahead of time,” I told them. “There are thirty-six completed guestrooms, and the wedding party is only planning to use about two dozen of them, so there’s plenty of room to spread out.”

  We went into the lobby, which was all done in sand-colored marble, accented by a huge chandelier. Since the inn wasn’t open for business, there was no one behind the dark wood front desk. It felt a little like we were trespassing, but Conrad had made a point of telling us to make ourselves at home.

  While my friends climbed one of the two (again, perfectly symmetrical) curved staircases at the back of the lobby, I headed down a central hallway. I passed a lounge used for wine tasting, and after a minute, the hall opened into an elegant restaurant. The back wall was all glass, with a sweeping view of the grounds and the vineyard. I was eager to check out the kitchen to my left, but I spotted Conrad and a few people in the distance and went out to say hello.

  As I cut across the vast lawn, my friend called, “River, my man, you cut your hair! I never thought I’d see the day!” Conrad Ballantine put down his highball glass, crossed the pool deck, and pulled me into a backslapping hug.

  “Hey Conrad. Yeah, it was time.” When he let go of me, I took a good look at him. He was about my height with a lean build and a way-too-white smile, and he was a couple shades blonder and a bit tanner than the last time I’d seen him, as if he’d just returned from someplace tropical.

  All of his companions were around thirty, white, and wealthy-looking, and they were all dressed just like he was in short-sleeved, button-down shirts and shorts in crayon colors. I’d failed to get the memo, so I felt like I was doing it wrong in my black T-shirt and jeans. Conrad gestured toward the ten guys on lounge chairs and said, “These are my fraternity brothers from Cornell.”

  One of the frat boys yelled, “Sig Phi!” Then they all made some kind of whooping sound that reminded me of a gorilla mating call as they pumped their fists in the air.

  Conrad chuckled at that. He then proceeded to rattle off a long list of nicknames, but the only ones I could remember afterwards were Kip, Chip, and Chet. He said, “Fellas, this is my old friend River Flynn-Hernandez. He’s also our caterer. I feel guilty about putting him to work this weekend, but once you taste his food, you’ll understand why no one else would do! Oh, and just so you know, he’s the reason we’re all here this weekend. If it wasn’t for River, I never would have met my gorgeous Kitty.”

  I raised a hand in greeting, then asked Conrad, “Where’s your bride-to-be?”

  “She’s arriving tomorrow. So tonight, the boys and I are heading into Calistoga, getting drunk, and generally carrying on like we’re still in college. You’re welcome to join us, of course.” He smiled at me and slapped my back.

  “Thanks, but I have a lot to do tonight. I need to get the kitchen set up, because the deliveries will be starting first thing in the morning.”

  “Suit yourself. Tomorrow though, I hope you allow some time for fun. I think you’d enjoy Wine and Wheels.”

  “Alright. Well, I’m going to head upstairs and see how my partner and his family are settling in.”

  “I totally support gay marriage,” Kip called. “In fact, I went to a gay wedding just last year, a fellow from the office. Dwayne Mendoza?”

  Was that in the form of a question because he thought all gay people knew each other, or because he thought all Latinos did? Either way, I had to force myself not to frown at him as I clarified, “My business partner.”

  “Oh, right, right,” he said. “I just remember Conrad telling us you were gay. I still totally support gay marriage, though.” He flashed me a thumbs up. Great. Thanks.

  “Absolutely,” another frat brother said. “The gays should have the right to suffer just like the rest of us married guys do.” That got a good laugh from his buddies. Ha. So funny. I pulled up a fake smile and left the pool area.

  Upstairs, I found Trevor and Vincent setting up a couple portable cribs in their room, and I asked, “Has my friend Conrad always been a total yuppie?”

  “Oh God yeah,” Trevor said.

  “I guess I knew that. Out of curiosity, what do you suppose Wine and Wheels is?”

  Trevor turned to me and explained, “About a dozen people get in this contraption that’s basically a long table with a canopy over it, mounted to a bunch of modified bikes. Then everyone pedals from bar to bar while getting drunk.”

  “You’re kidding, right?” He shook his head, and I asked, “Why on God’s green earth would anyone do such a thing?”

  “I guess it’s a way to exercise while getting hammered.”

  “Terrible idea. Terrible! And I’m sorry, but spending several hours with Conrad’s friends while trapped in some sort of bike chain gang sounds like torture.”

  Darwin called, “Are they that bad?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe I’m just oversensitive.”

  I glanced at Josh and Darwin through the open connecting door to my left. They were unpacking a towering stack of paperbacks onto a coffee table. I really wondered why Vincent worried about those two, aside from the fact that Darwin was three years older than his son. It always seemed like the most risqué thing they’d ever do was read a book with swear words in it. And even then, it would probably embarrass them.

  “It sounds like your five minutes downstairs went well,” Vincent said as he moved from the assembled crib to a large suitcase. It looked like the Dean-Dombruso family had brought enough stuff for a month. But then, there was probably no such thing as traveling light with twin babies.

  “It was alright, just a little awkward. I never know what to say when people try too hard and go out of their way to randomly tell you things like, ‘I’ve been to a gay wedding.’ Um, congratulations?”

  “How was it when you and Conrad were roommates?” Darwin asked.

  “Great. It was only for a few months, between living with Skye and moving in with Cole, while Conrad was in his last year of law school at USF. The only negative was that he had this horrible cat.”

  Darwin said, “Aw, I like cats.”

  “I do too, but this one was a menace. I called him Puffy the Attack Cat. He was this huge, white Persian with a flat face, and he was evil. He just randomly decided he despised me. He’d lie in wait, then try to take me down like I was prey. It never seemed to occur to the stupid cat that I was much, much bigger than he was.”

  “I hate to tell you this,” Josh called from the adjoining room, “but we heard a cat mewling when we walked past the bridal suite. It could be Puffy.”

  “Oh, awesome. Well, if it is, let’s hope no one lets the little bastard out this weekend. Otherwise, you’re going to see a reenactment of life in the Serengeti. I’ll be playing the part of the antelope.”

  Trevor kissed his husband, then turned to me and said, “Come on, let’s go check out the kitchen. I’ll act as your bodyguard and make sure no rogue housecats take you down on the way there.”

  *****

  Around eleven o’clock that night, I stretched my arms over my head and looked around the large, industrial kitchen. Trevor and I had verified that all the appliances were working perfectly, which was a relief. I’d had nightmares about trying to feed four hundred people without a functioning cooktop. The only issue we’d found was that everything had been covered in a fine layer of construction dust, so we’d spent a couple hours cleaning the kitchen top to bottom. Then we’d inventoried everything and brought in our cookware and other equipment to supplement what was on-site. The last thing I did was tape up nineteen pages of checklists, schedules and reminders. We were as ready as we’d ever be for the next seventy-two hours.

  I grabbed a beer from the walk-in refrigerator and headed to the brick patio just outsid
e the restaurant’s French doors. Trevor had gone upstairs half an hour earlier because he’d been exhausted, and Conrad and company were still in town, so I had the place to myself. Aside from the sound of crickets and a breeze rustling through the tall trees that bracketed the lawn, it was perfectly still. It actually reminded me of my childhood in the country, obviously aside from the big, sparkling pool off to the right, beyond the wide expanse of lawn, or the palatial inn behind me. I dropped into a wrought iron chair and put my feet up on the short brick wall before me, then let my eyes slide shut as I turned my face into the breeze.

  After a minute, I became aware of a far-away engine noise. Since the property was at the end of a long, private road, it had to either be a member of the wedding party, or one of the handful of people who’d remained on-site during the remodel. We’d briefly met the groundskeeper and one of the security guards while we were setting up the kitchen, and I knew there had to be other staff around as well.

  As the vehicle got closer, I heard Bon Jovi blasting from a car stereo. A few moments later, a red convertible shot around the right side of the building and actually got some air as it went over a small embankment. It came to a stop in the center of the lawn, and when the driver cut the engine, someone burst out laughing. A familiar female voice said, “Shit, you were right! There’s no parking lot back here. Oh well, fuck it.”

  Catherine Sokolov, Conrad’s bride-to-be, stepped out from behind the wheel and tossed her long hair over her shoulder. It was hard to see her passengers in the semi-darkness, but Cat was unmistakable. She was a tall, leggy blonde with a fondness for sequined minidresses, and even in the dim light, she sparkled.

  Cat looked up at the patio and yelled, “River! Hey, honey! What’s shaking?” She then tried to take a couple steps in my direction, but her spike heels sank into the lawn. She cussed a blue streak before stepping out of them and continuing barefoot.

  I put down my beer and went to meet her halfway. As I got closer, I could make out Cat’s friend Jessica and Jess’s husband Fernando tumbling out of the backseat, but I didn’t notice who’d been sitting beside the driver. Jessica was muttering, “That drive and crash landing took years off my life.”

  When I reached Cat, she pulled me into a hug and planted a big kiss on my cheek. She smelled like shampoo and perfume. Then she held me at arm’s length and studied me for a moment before announcing, “I like the new ‘do. I’m glad you didn’t cut it really short, though. Then you just wouldn’t have looked like our River.”

  “And you look gorgeous as ever, Cat.” She really was an exceptionally beautiful woman, with silken hair almost to her waist, big blue eyes, and a body worthy of a Barbie doll, which she liked to show off. Because of her outward appearance, people sometimes tried to write her off as a dumb blonde. But she was also a Yale graduate and had recently completed a law degree at Stanford, so it was a mistake to underestimate her.

  I was glad to count her as a friend. When she’d moved back to the Bay Area to study law, Cat had begun hanging out at a bar and grill called Nolan’s, which was co-owned by her cousin Dmitri and his husband Jamie. Cole had waited tables at Nolan’s, both before and after working with me in my catering business, and we’d spent a lot of time there when we were a couple. I’d been pleasantly surprised when Cat struck up a friendship with both of us. Then, about a year ago, I’d invited Cat and Conrad to a party I was hosting (to try to cheer myself up after Cole moved out, actually), and the rest was history.

  Fernando popped the trunk on the vintage Alfa Romeo and began hoisting a couple bags onto his shoulder, so I went to help him. Someone else reached for the same suitcase that I started to grab, and when I glanced up, my breath caught. Cole said, “Hi River. How’s it going?”

  Because my brain instantly shut off and took all my social skills with it, I blurted, “What are you doing here?” When he raised an eyebrow at me and frowned a little, I felt like a moron.

  “Cole is one of my bridesmen. I talked him into coming early and hanging out with me,” Cat chimed in. “Conrad has ten groomsmen. Ten! Jessica’s my matron of honor, and my five cousins and one of their wives are all bridesmaids. Then I decided, to hell with tradition, and I asked Cole, Fernando, and Jamie to even up my side. My cousin Dmitri is walking me down the aisle, and his daughter Lily is the flower girl. So nearly everyone I know is in the wedding party. You should be too, River. Sorry we put you to work as the caterer, that’s kind of unfair.”

  I tore my gaze away from my ex-boyfriend as he slung a backpack over his shoulder and picked up a garment bag, and I murmured, “Oh no, it’s fine. I’m glad I get to cook for you. Out of curiosity, who are the four hundred wedding guests, if almost everyone you know is in the wedding party?”

  She shrugged and said, “Fuck if I know. Apparently, Conrad’s parents are either related to or friends with half of San Francisco. Since they’re paying for this shindig, we told them to go nuts and invite whoever they wanted, and boy did they ever. Speaking of my hubby-to-be, where is he?”

  “Conrad went into Calistoga with his frat buddies. He said you weren’t arriving until tomorrow.”

  “I canceled an appointment and came early to surprise him. It looks like I’ll now be surprising him in town. To the Batmobile, kids!” She turned and jogged back to the car as she called, “Come with us, River, we can all fit. Jess and Nando don’t mind getting cozy!” Along the way, she pulled her silver heels out of the ground and tossed them in the car. Meanwhile, Fernando returned the bags to the trunk and slammed it shut, and he and his wife headed for the backseat.

  “Thanks, but I think I’ll sit this one out,” I said. “It’s been a long day.” And also, spending the next several hours awkwardly staring at my ex was just going to make it weird for all involved.

  “Suit yourself, sweetie,” Cat yelled across the lawn. “But tomorrow, you need to find some time to hang out with me. Don’t make me go all Bridezilla on your ass!”

  I smiled at her and said, “I’ll make sure it doesn’t come to that.”

  As Cat got behind the wheel, Cole said, “I’m going to sit this one out, too. River’s right about it being a long day. Tomorrow though, I’m all in with the drunken revelry.”

  “Alright, see you in the morning!” Cat blew us a kiss before gunning the engine. Bon Jovi blasted from the convertible as it barreled across the lawn.

  We watched her disappear around the edge of the building, and Cole said, “I love Cat, but she’s truly terrifying when she’s behind the wheel. We made it here from the city in just over an hour. That should tell you how fast we were going. She doesn’t even care if there’s a road. We cut through a field at one point, because she thought it looked like a shortcut, and you saw her mowing through the landscaping just now. That little old Alfa must be part tank to survive the things she puts it through.”

  As the music and engine noise faded into the distance, I said, “I didn’t realize you two were so close.”

  “We’ve gotten to be good friends over the last year. She was really there for me after….” Our break-up. I got it.

  I just had to ask. “Will your boyfriend be joining you this weekend?”

  “What boyfriend?”

  I felt a surge of optimism at those words, but I needed to be sure. “Ash? Cute guy with lavender hair? I keep seeing you two together, so I just assumed….”

  “Oh. He’s my best friend, not my boyfriend. I did actually invite him to be my plus-one this weekend so he could keep me company, but he had to work.”

  I somehow managed to keep it together at that revelation, but inside I was happy-dancing and fist-pumping like a crazy person. Not his boyfriend. Yes!

  It wasn’t too late. He was still single, thank God, and we were all alone in a beautiful setting. This was my chance! I just needed to say something. But what? How could I make him understand I still loved him and desperately needed us to try again? And saying that wasn’t an option, because it was way too much right out of the gate.

&n
bsp; I took too long trying to find the right words. Cole stared at me for a few moments, then murmured, “Alright, well, I’ll talk to you later.” He stepped around me and headed toward the back of the inn.

  Oh God, I was blowing it. Again. My heart pounded as I watched him walk away. Inside, I was screaming at myself, say something! Say anything! Make him understand!

  I opened my mouth, ready to shout the first stupid thing that popped into my head. Suddenly Cole turned to me. I held my breath, waiting to see what would happen next. He hesitated, and then he blurted, “I’m glad you’re here this weekend, River. I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too.”

  “You have?”

  I closed the distance between us and stopped right in front of him. “I miss you every single day, Cole.” And then I took a chance. As my heart pounded, I leaned in and brushed my lips to his.

  Cole dropped his luggage and pulled me to him by the front of my shirt. In the next instant, we were kissing wildly, passionately. It was everything. Absolutely everything. It was Christmas and my birthday and the Fourth of July. It was like coming home, if home was a grand palace in the most beautiful place in all the world.

  I couldn’t get enough of him. He was as vital as air. I ran my fingers into his thick hair as his tongue slid between my lips. How had I lived without him for even a day, let alone a year? I tasted him as I breathed in his clean scent, trying to make him a part of me with every one of my senses.

  A minute later, he let go of me and took a step back. His cheeks were flushed, and he had to catch his breath before he whispered, “I swore to myself I’d never do this again.”

  “I said the same thing at first, and I tried to get over you, Cole. But I can’t. It’s just not possible.”

  He ran a fingertip along my lower lip and said, so quietly, “I was devastated when our relationship ended. The pain almost swallowed me whole. I want to be over you, because I can never go through that again. But every time I see you….” I sank into him. I couldn’t help it. When I put my head on his shoulder, he began to caress my hair. Then he told me, “This isn’t helping.”

 

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