by Alexa Land
“Want me to call Jess and ask her to come back? It sounds like you could use your matron of honor,” Cole said.
“It’s okay, let them enjoy their fucked up version of having fun. They’ll be back soon anyway.”
Cole said, “So, talk to us in the meantime. Tell us what’s going on.”
“I don’t know. I mean, like I said, I love Conrad. I really do. But I guess I’m wondering, is that enough? You know I was married once before, very briefly, and it was a total disaster. I thought I was madly in love with that guy, but we had nothing in common and it fell apart so damn fast. I think that’s part of the reason I’m second-guessing myself, because I screwed up once before, and now I wonder if I’m making the same mistake all over again.”
“It always seemed to me like you and Conrad had a lot in common,” I said. “For one thing, he’s a lawyer and you just finished law school.”
“But Conrad lives in a world I’ve only ever aspired to, you know what I mean? I’ve spent most of my life trying to pretend I fit in with the upper class. I went to Yale and then to Stanford because I thought those big-name schools would buy me some credibility. They really didn’t, though,” she said. “There will always be people who treat me like I’m less-than because I don’t come from a prestigious family. Not that Conrad’s ever looked down on me. He wouldn’t do that. But seeing him with his snooty friends is just this glaring reminder of how different we are. And by the way, I’m so fucking mad at myself for even caring what a bunch of rich assholes think about me! I always tried to live life my way and said to hell with the haters. But here I am, just two days before my wedding, and I’m having all these doubts, and I guess I’m almost at my breaking point, because I can barely deal with any of this shit!”
Cole said, “This is just an idea, but maybe it would help to think about what made you fall in love with Conrad in the first place.”
“He made me feel special. Is that childish? It is, isn’t it? Last night, when I joined him and his friends at the pub, I was hurt because he didn’t really seem to care that I’d come to Napa ahead of schedule. He spent most of the night reminiscing about college with his annoying friends and barely paid any attention to me. I’m probably being oversensitive, but the man’s about to marry me, so shouldn’t he have been glad to see me?” She took another long drink from the bottle, then said, “For the record, I hate being like this. I don’t want to be needy, or butt-hurt just because my husband-to-be didn’t fawn all over me when I drove up a day early to surprise him.”
“I think it was perfectly reasonable to expect him to be excited to see you,” Cole said.
“I must sound insane,” she said. “You know this isn’t really why I’m upset, right? It was just the last straw, I guess. I’d been feeling nervous, and insecure, and distant from him for weeks. Maybe last night just confirmed my worst fears.”
“You need to have a long talk with Conrad and tell him all the stuff you’re telling us. But I know, maybe better than anyone, that it’s easier said than done. I was always afraid to have serious conversations with Cole when we were a couple. I worried it would turn into a fight, and he’d break up with me. Instead, we never fought, and everything built up, and it still ended.” I took the bottle when Cat offered it to me and tossed back a big swallow, then said, “You know what? I shouldn’t be giving anyone relationship advice.”
Cole rested his hand on my shoulder and said, “Maybe Cat can learn from our mistakes, and maybe she and Conrad can talk this out, before it’s too late.”
Cat asked, “What am I supposed to say? I hate all your friends and their wives, and I feel like everyone thinks I’m not good enough for you, and I’m worried our marriage is doomed from the start? That’ll go over big.”
“Maybe just start with, ‘I’m scared.’ See where it goes from there,” he said gently.
“I really am. I feel like I’m on the verge of throwing this all away, and I’m so confused right now that I don’t even know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” Cat slid off the counter and said, “I think I’m going to go for a walk and try to think through this mess.” She gave us both a hug, and then she said, “Thanks for listening. It helped. So did the tequila.” She picked up the pastry box and added, “Do you mind if I just….”
“It’s yours,” I said, and she gave me a sad little smile before leaving the kitchen with it.
“Shit,” Cole murmured when she was out of earshot, “I didn’t see that coming. Cat seemed so excited about the wedding. She kept talking about her dress, and the shoes, and the food…come to think of it though, she didn’t mention the groom in any of that.”
“I think that’s part of the problem with these big, showy mega-weddings. The couples get so caught up in the details, like flowers and table settings and their massive guest list, that they lose sight of each other in the process. It’s really a shame, too. When Cat and Conrad first got together, they were so damn happy.”
“I remember. They never wanted to be apart.”
“Exactly. It didn’t surprise me when they got engaged on their six-month anniversary. But after that, all they ever talked about was the wedding itself. It probably didn’t help that they rushed the date so they could get married here before the inn reopens.”
Cole went to check the stock pots on the stove, and adjusted the burners underneath them as he said, “You told me once, when we first started going out, that you didn’t believe in marriage. Do you still feel that way?”
“I guess what I don’t believe in is the pomp and circumstance of it all. I think two people making a lifetime commitment to each other is sacred, and all the window dressing just detracts from the beauty and purity of that moment.” I grinned and added, “But then, I was raised by hippies, so I tend to balk at anything traditional.”
“You do believe in that part though, in two people making a lifetime commitment?”
“God yes. I always have, but that doesn’t have to mean getting married. It’s not about the piece of paper. Although I think my position on traditional marriage has softened over time. Back when I told you I didn’t believe in it, I’d never even been in a relationship, so it was all hypothetical. I had no idea what it truly meant to love someone with all my heart and soul and want to fully commit to them. But now I do.”
He smiled at that, then asked me, “So, if you were to get married, just hypothetically, what would be the perfect ceremony?”
“I had this dream once. You and I paddled out on our boards at sunset and exchanged vows in the middle of the ocean, and then we surfed back to shore and had a beach party with all our friends and family. I think that would be an amazing way to get married.”
“That’s beautiful.”
“The problem is, you don’t surf.”
“I could learn.” He quickly added, “But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.”
“We are. First, I have to convince you to go on a date with me after this weekend.”
“A date?”
“Yup. We skipped that part the first time around and moved in together pretty much immediately. If you give me another chance, I’m going to do this right, with lots of wooing.”
He chuckled at that and repeated, “Wooing?”
“Oh yes. You will be wooed.” I scooped him into my arms and danced around the kitchen with him as I said, “Moonlight, roses…oh wait, you hate roses. Make that sunflowers, they’re your favorite.”
He smiled at me and said, “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“I remember everything, including the fact that just last night, I said I wasn’t going to pressure you. I hope that’s not how this is coming across. I’m just feeling…optimistic, I guess.”
He let me lead him around the kitchen, and when I dipped him deeply, he laughed. It was the best sound imaginable. A moment later, Glenn Miller’s Moonlight Serenade started playing, and we both stopped dancing and looked around.
Darwin stuck his head into the doorway and tapped his phone
to turn off the music as he said, “Aw, I didn’t want you guys to stop. I just thought you could use some accompaniment.”
“It’s okay,” I mumbled embarrassedly. “We should get back to work anyway.”
“I’m glad you found some backup. Hi Cole,” Darwin said.
“Hey. Did you have a good nap?”
“Yup, and now I’m ready to bust out some awesome food. Where are we on our lists?”
“Well,” I said, “the soup stock is done for Sunday, all the veggies are prepped for the salads and side dishes tonight, and I’m just about to start on the homemade pasta. I’ll show you how to make it, Darwin. Nana Dombruso taught me a couple tricks to get it right every time.”
“Look at you,” Darwin said with a smile, as he grabbed a big bag of flour and brought it over to our main work station. “I was afraid of what I’d find when I came back downstairs, since you were on the brink of losing it when I left to take a nap. But it’s like night and day. Cole, you’re really good for River.”
“He is,” I said. “Everything’s under control now. In the kitchen, anyway.”
Darwin asked, “What does that mean?”
“Have you ever heard of a movie called ‘The Runaway Bride’?” He nodded, and I said, “Yeah, well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
Chapter Six
Conrad’s parents arrived late that afternoon, followed by Cat’s bridesmaids. Her cousin Dmitri was the last to arrive, along with his husband Jamie and their daughter Lily. “We had to stop and look at every goat along the way,” Jamie explained. “Turns out, our little girl is fascinated by them. Go figure.”
The evening went off without a hitch. The wait staff I’d hired set up the dining room beautifully with crisp, white tablecloths, little vases of pale pink lilies delivered by a local florist, and the restaurant’s dishes and stemware. The wedding party rehearsed the ceremony out on the lawn, then nibbled appetizers and sipped wine and cocktails on the patio. After that, Cole, Darwin, and I pulled off a five-course meal that everyone seemed to enjoy.
Even though everything went perfectly, I was worried about Cat. She showed up in a simple, dark blue dress and heels, which was very demure for her, and with a smile fixed in place. When I got her alone for a moment and asked how she was, she admitted, “I have no idea. Until I can sort out what I’m feeling, I’m not going to do anything rash. I’ll try to talk to Conrad tonight, but it’s kind of insane right now with all these guests.” I kissed her cheek and wished her luck.
After dinner, most of the wedding party went with Conrad’s uncle to tour his winemaking facility at the other end of the property. Cole, Darwin and I said we’d pass. We collapsed onto patio chairs as the last of the caravan pulled out onto a side road that skirted the vineyard.
I pushed my shoes off and said, “Thank you both for all your help. You saved the day. We’re right back on track with our schedule, because of you.”
“It was fun,” Darwin said as he put up his feet on the short brick wall, “and I learned a ton about cooking today. I’m totally making that homemade ravioli for Josh when he feels better.”
I asked, “How were they when you called Josh before dinner?”
“Not bad. Everyone’s fever had broken except for Trevor’s, but his was only two degrees above normal. It sounds like a pretty mild case all the way around.”
Jamie and Dmitri stepped through the back door of the inn just then. They handed beers to Cole and me and gave Darwin a soda before sitting down with us. Jamie said, “Great job, team River’s Edge Catering. That meal was decadent! Can I steal your ravioli recipe and put it on the menu at Nolan’s?”
“Of course.” I raised my bottle in a toast before taking a long drink.
Jamie and I went way back. In fact, he was one of the first friends I’d made when I moved to San Francisco. We were both surfers who frequented the same spots, and he’d been a cop when we met. Later on, he quit law enforcement, started running his own restaurant, got married, and became a father. Jamie was a prime example of how far most of my friends had come over the past few years.
As he and Dmitri settled in on a little wrought iron loveseat, I asked, “Is Lily asleep?”
Dmitri nodded and put his arm around his husband’s shoulders. “But not before making a strong case as to why we need a pet goat. When we pointed out the fact that our apartment was too small for one, she said it could live downstairs in the restaurant and eat table scraps. It was a convincing argument. I tried to explain that the health department wouldn’t allow it, but she started outlining an elaborate goat-hiding scheme that was about as complicated as running a speakeasy during prohibition.”
I glanced from Jamie to Dmitri. They were a cute couple. Jamie Nolan looked like a quintessential surfer with his shaggy, sun-streaked hair, deep tan, and fondness for board shorts and baggy T-shirts. Dmitri Teplov, on the other hand, always looked sophisticated and pulled-together. He was a fair-skinned Russian-American with perfect dark hair and perfect dark clothes. They were on opposite ends of the style spectrum, but the two just belonged together somehow.
“Lily mentioned she’s going to be a big sister,” Darwin said. “Congratulations.”
The couple smiled at each other, and Dmitri said, “Thanks. Jamie and I both come from large families, and we’d been talking about adding to ours for a long time. We used the same surrogate as we did with Lily and everything’s going well, so in seven months the diaper cycle will start back up again.”
“No kidding about big families,” Darwin said. “I heard five of the bridesmaids are your sisters, Dmitri.”
Dmitri nodded. “For all intents and purposes, Cat is, too. Her father married into the family when she was just a kid, and we grew up together.”
I told him, “You might want to make some time to speak to her alone when she gets back from the winery.”
“Is everything okay?”
“I hope so. She was a little stressed out earlier, and I think she could use someone to talk to.”
Dmitri said, “Thanks for the heads-up.”
We chatted with our friends for a few more minutes, and then Cole asked, “Are you up for a walk, River, or are you too tired?”
“That sounds great, actually.”
He smiled at me and said, “In that case, I’ll be right back,” before jumping up and heading inside.
As I pulled my shoes back on, Jamie said, “I didn’t know you and Cole had gotten back together.”
“Actually, we haven’t yet, but I hope that changes.” I glanced at my friend as I retied my laces and said, “You know how bad things got between us. I heard you and Dmitri took Cole home with you the night we had that huge fight at my brother’s art show. I’m grateful that you were looking out for him.”
“He was a wreck that night,” Jamie murmured.
“I know, and that breaks my heart. I love Cole more than anything, and I want us to try again. But you had a front row seat during the end of our relationship, so you can see why he’s hesitant. I don’t know if he’s going to find it in himself to give me another chance, but I hope to God he does.”
“Well, going on a moonlit walk together sure seems like progress,” Darwin said.
I nodded and grinned a little. “I’m trying not to get my hopes up and scream and yell and do cartwheels, even though that’s how I feel inside right now.”
Cole came back outside a couple minutes later with a wicker picnic basket and the same red plaid blanket I’d woken up with that morning. We said goodnight to our friends before heading down the stairs and across the wide lawn, and I said, “Thanks for tucking me in last night. I assume that was you.”
“You’re welcome. I saw you fall asleep from my balcony, and I didn’t want you to be cold.” When he took my hand, I couldn’t help but smile.
The lawn soon gave way to the vineyard, and we followed a path between the tall, leafy vines. They’d been trained to grow out to each side, supported by a wooden framework, so they formed
long, living walls on either side of us. Thick clusters of pinot noir grapes dangled from the vines. They were black in the moonlight, and not much different during the day.
The path rose gradually over the hilly terrain, and after a while, we turned left at a crossroads and walked for maybe ten more minutes. When we came to a clearing at the edge of the vineyard with a picnic area and a small, covered band shell, I asked, “Did you know this was here?”
Cole nodded. “I went for a run this morning and came across it. My first thought was that I had to bring you back here.”
We climbed up on the wooden stage, and Cole spread out the blanket, then slid his shoes off before settling in and loosening his tie. We’d both showered and changed before the rehearsal dinner, and he looked stunningly handsome in his charcoal gray dress shirt and black pants. But then, he looked stunningly handsome in flip flops and cut-offs, too.
I sat down beside him, and Cole said, “You look nice tonight.” I’d gone more casual, since I’d been working in the kitchen while the wait staff I’d hired served the food. I was wearing a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled back and the pair of navy blue pants Quinn had bought me after the Great Khaki Incident the weekend before. My roommate might be crazy, but he’d nailed it with those pants. They fit better than anything I owned.
“Thanks. I was just thinking the same thing about you.”
As he unpacked the picnic basket, he said, “This is all pretty random. I just threw a few things into the hamper to go with the wine.” He pulled out the bottle of pinot noir given to him by Conrad’s uncle, along with a couple glasses, then loaded a plate with some of the grapes and other fruits I’d used to decorate the dessert table. He’d also brought along some bread and a few delicacies left over from the cheese course, and he carefully lifted two coffee mugs from the hamper. Each contained a miniature lemon tart. The breads and the rest of the desserts had come from the bakery, but the tarts were one of my specialties, so I’d opted to bake them myself. “As you can tell, my presentation leaves a lot to be desired. I had to get creative when I went to pack this up.”