From Ashes

by Molly McAdams

Page 9

  Author: Molly McAdams

  “I just don’t understand why she hates me. ” She sobbed and put her face on my chest. “I understand some of the drinking, but not Jeff, not her leaving me to completely fend for myself, not the—not the—” She choked on another sob and tried to pull away but I held her there.

  There was nothing else I could say in that moment. If there were words that could have comforted her, I would have said every single one of them. But she didn’t need words, she just needed someone there. I leaned back against the driver’s-side door and pulled her onto me so she was leaning into my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I tried to let her feel everything I wasn’t allowed to tell her. That she was unlike any other girl in the world, that she was wanted and cherished, that I loved her with everything in me. No reason trying to tell myself that wasn’t what this was anymore; there was no doubt in my mind I was in love with Cassidy. She consumed me in a way I never thought imaginable, and hell if I didn’t love that too.

  Her phone rang and she sat up suddenly. “Ty?” There was a short pause. “I need you. Can you go home?”

  And there went my heart.

  “I’ll meet you there, I love you too. ” She wiped under her eyes and I watched as her face went into that carefully composed mask of indifference.

  I held in a painful sigh as I put my truck in reverse and started home. Nothing like hearing the girl of your dreams tell someone else she needs and loves him.

  The drive home was silent and uncomfortable. I wanted to touch her, hold her hand, anything. But I knew that wouldn’t help, since I wasn’t the person who had always helped her through her hard times. When we pulled into the lot and she saw Tyler’s Jeep, she jumped out of the truck before I even put it in park and ran for our apartment. I jogged after her, and immediately wished I hadn’t. Ty swung the door open and she jumped into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. He spoke softly to her as he walked them back to their room, and though I wanted to be anywhere but near the two of them, I couldn’t make myself leave. Didn’t matter if she didn’t need me; I needed to know she was okay, so I sat down on the couch and waited for them to come back out.

  They didn’t come out until it was time to leave for her dinner. I stood up when the door opened and my jaw dropped when Cassidy came practically bouncing out of the room, a big smile on her face. Had I just imagined that morning? Or did they just have that good of a time—never mind, I didn’t want to think about that.

  “Ty said we’re going out, are you ready?” She beamed her bright smile at me.

  “Uh, yeah. I guess. ”

  “Oh. Well, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I understand. ”

  Understand what? “No, I’ll go. ”

  “Really?” She seemed genuinely surprised; her eyes lit up and her smile changed. It softened but was even more beautiful. Then suddenly it fell and she whispered softly, “I know you’re worried about it, Gage, but I will get a job so you and Ty aren’t paying for me anymore. I’m sorry you had to be there for that today. ”

  What. The. Hell. Just—what?! Before I could ask where she would even get an idea as dumb as that, Tyler stepped into the living room.

  “Ready, birthday girl?”

  Cassidy just rolled her eyes and laughed as we all left the apartment. I’m sure Tyler was getting pissed by the end of dinner, but I couldn’t seem to do anything other than stare at her the entire night. The last thing she wanted was for her birthday to roll around, and then after this morning I was prepared to cancel on everyone tonight. But there she sat, bubbly and adorable as ever. Not one of those people would have imagined anything bad had happened to her, or that today was harder for her than she could describe. I knew how rare it was for her to break down like she had that morning, but this was blowing my mind. She was ridiculously happy; her cheeks had to be hurting from how much she was laughing and smiling. And even when Lanie got teary eyed telling Cassidy that her boyfriend broke up with her, Cassidy was sad for her, and helped her plot a girls’ night to help her get over the dick. This was her day, and a hard day, but not one ounce of Cassidy was thinking about herself. Though I still wished I could take her away and give her the opportunity to actually grieve and be upset over things that had happened, it was times like this that made me fall in love with her more.

  Chapter Four

  CASSIDY

  FLOPPING ONTO THE couch, I sighed heavily and was grateful the guys would be gone most of the day so I could rest. Trying to avoid Gage’s knowing I was sleeping on the couch, and getting away from Tyler’s hard-on—which just had to continue to remind me that it was there—made for a night of practically no sleep. We’d gotten into a very comfortable routine over the last couple months, and most days it worked perfectly. Just not that day.

  WAKING UP EARLY, I slipped out the door and went for a walk. After Tyler had helped me calm down yesterday from the shock of my mom taking all the money my dad had left me, I’d put on a brave face like I always do and went to enjoy my birthday dinner. I had felt so weak breaking down in front of Gage like that; it wasn’t like me at all. No one other than Tyler was around for my hard times, and though Gage now knew that I’d had a different home life, he would never understand everything I went through. Not like Tyler did. But like I said before, I learned a long time ago that crying only got you hit harder and longer; I couldn’t remember actually letting tears out since before I was a teenager. Then yesterday in Gage’s truck, I couldn’t hold it back anymore.

  I don’t know if it was because I felt like he was getting a glimpse of how heartless my mom could be, or if her cruel texts had finally pushed me over the edge. Whatever the reason, I’d cried, and he held me in his arms, comforting me. If Ty hadn’t called me back, I would have stayed in Gage’s arms all day. I hadn’t felt so whole since Dad died, and I never wanted the feeling to end. But it did, and last night Gage went back to not speaking to me again.

  I asked probably too frequently, and Ty was now saying that Gage was beginning to tolerate me, but sometimes it still felt like more than that. Or maybe it was just my wanting him so much that made me stupidly think he might want me to. Maybe I imagined how he always seemed to shift closer to me, or how in the mornings before Ty woke up, he was happier than ever. Maybe he only curled up onto the sofa to talk to me for hours because he felt obligated since I lived with and cooked for him. At first I thought his distance was because he had a girlfriend, but that option flew out the window a couple weeks after we moved in. I knew now that he wasn’t actually dating Brynn; I’d overheard him telling Ty about their disastrous dates at the end of last year. And I’m not going to lie, I grinned like an idiot for the next few hours knowing he was available. But then he wasn’t there for our morning hug and coffee and didn’t speak to me for three whole days after I overheard that conversation.

  This whole flirting, then avoiding me thing was wearing on me, and you can’t imagine how often I wished I didn’t feel the electricity between us; it would have made my life so much easier. I knew when he was in the same room with me now; the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up before I could even hear him, and it drove me nuts. It also didn’t help that he was by far the sexiest guy I’d ever seen, or that when we would talk . . . he was incredibly sweet. That whole Southern-charm nonsense? Dear. Lord. So hot. It wasn’t like he tried to be a gentleman; it just came naturally for him. It made me laugh when he let a cuss word slip and he’d realize I was around; his eyes would go big and I swear sometimes he flinched. The fact that he was always worried his “mama” was gonna come smack him for it cracked me up, and this may sound weird, but when he’d called me “darlin’,” my heart would melt. Any other guy and I’d probably have laughed at him, but it just rolled off Gage’s tongue like a caress, and I loved it.

  I loved everything about him.

  I loved him.

  I just didn’t know what I was goin
g to do about him. At least when Tyler and I would have our talks, his reminders of how much of a nuisance I was for Gage usually kept my head on straight when I was around Gage for the next day or so. But after that I’d start letting myself get too comfortable around him, and then things like yesterday happened.

  Looking up, I saw Starbucks was only a block away and decided to sit in there for a while, trying to figure out what I was going to do now that my backup had fallen through. Opening up my wallet, I saw I had a whole ten dollars to my name. Awesome. I knew Tyler would give me anything I wanted or needed, but I’d already been living off his parents and Gage for the past month, and I didn’t want to continue. Glancing at my wallet again, I decided. Ten dollars or not, I needed an indulgence.

  I walked up to the counter and waited while the barista switched out the coffee. Just as she was turning around to me, a person I guessed was the manager walked up in a huff.

  “I don’t believe this. Victoria and Cody just quit! I’ve been calling them like crazy all morning, and they finally answered and said they wouldn’t be back. ” She slapped the cordless phone onto the counter, picking it back up quickly to make sure she hadn’t broken anything.

  “Are you serious?” the barista asked, her face blanching.

  “That’s half my morning crew. No one else can work mornings here! Everyone has too many early classes. ”

  “Excuse me?”

  They both jumped like they’d forgotten I was standing there. The manager’s face instantly went into a bright smile. “Welcome! What can we get for you?”

  “Well, how about an application?”

  “I’m sorry, honey, but I just can’t afford to hire any more students. I need full-time employees. ”

  “I guess it’s a good thing I have absolutely nothing to do all day, every day,” I said with a smile so she didn’t think I was being rude.

  “I need someone to open Monday through Saturday,” she said, challenging me, “six hours on the weekdays, four hours on Saturday. ”