Eliminating Stress- Finding Inner Peace

by Brian L Weiss

  Chapter Eight

  STRESS AND SPIRITUALITY

  Believing in a divine plan or purpose can drastically reduce stress. We need to look for lessons, things to be learned, from the obstacles in our lives. Sometimes the lifetimes with the most obstacles are those in which we can make the most spiritual progress, where we learn our soul lessons at an accelerated pace. To look for the lesson in an obstacle, or even in a tragedy, allows us to discern the purpose in the event. When we understand the lesson, we can choose to let go of pain and suffering.

  As Christian mystic Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” He was right. If we recognize the soul lesson, we can grow beyond suffering, and there is no stress in this state of understanding.

  We are overly attached to the results of our actions. If we would detach from our obsession to outcomes, to our assessments of success or failure, we would feel so much happier. If we could only reach out to others with love and compassion and not be concerned with what comes back to us—what we will or will not gain—our lives would be filled with joy.

  Love is the antidote to stress—yet in this violent, greedy, and hate-filled world, it seems so difficult to love unconditionally. This is an extremely challenging spiritual lesson. If you could love unconditionally … if you were ever mindful of your true spiritual nature, of your soul … if you expected no return for your unsolicited compassionate actions … if you could let go of your emotional attachments to material things … then you would never again experience prolonged or unhealthy stress in your life, and your days and nights would be filled with happiness and joy.

  Very few, if any of us, enter this life in a state of spiritual enlightenment. As a psychiatrist, I am aware of the huge struggle to overcome familial and cultural conditioning. How can we be spiritually mindful when our subconscious and unconscious conditioning create sinkholes and quicksand to trap our minds? One way is to start at the beginning.

  Chapter Nine

  A THREE FOLD APPROACH TO STRESS REDUCTION

  The exercise on the CD included in this book approaches the alleviation of stress in three ways: physical, psychological, and spiritual.

  The first approach is physical, achieved by helping the body reach a profound state of muscular relaxation. If you practice this exercise regularly, you will find that you are able to reach a deeper and deeper level of relaxation and inner peace, each time more and more quickly and easily. As you learn how to totally relax key muscle groups in your body, a kind of muscle memory is established. In addition, an awareness of levels of muscle tension is developed and fine-tuned, and you will quickly become aware of subtle changes in the degree of muscle tension much earlier than usual. The relaxation techniques can then be carried into everyday life and, in times of stress, used consciously, breaking the cycle of muscle tension and physical symptoms.

  The physical antidote to the stress reaction is extremely important. By practicing with the CD, or by utilizing other relaxation and meditative techniques, you can abort the production of stress hormones and transmitters. Your body will quickly restore its normal nonstress equilibrium as the stress chemicals are neutralized. By practicing, you can become quite expert at blocking the stress reaction altogether.

  The CD will teach you how to control your breathing and to completely prevent hyperventilating. When a person breathes too rapidly, an excess amount of carbon dioxide is exhaled, and oxygen consumption is likewise increased. This process leads to feelings of light-headedness, faintness, and anxiety. Most panic attacks are accompanied and exacerbated by hyperventilation. These attacks can be aborted by relaxing skeletal muscles, ending the hyperventilating. Early level of awareness or mindfulness is critical to the cessation of the stress reaction or anxiety attack, because the “rescue remedies” can be instituted immediately.

  The old technique of breathing into a brown paper bag to terminate an anxiety attack is based on the same principle. As the air is re-breathed, it becomes richer in carbon dioxide and the oxygen content drops, restoring a more normal equilibrium. Of course, with early awareness that you are beginning to hyperventilate, the paper bag becomes unnecessary.

  When you learn how to control your breathing and your musculature, you can find that place of deep peace and security that is always within. When you reach this level of inner peace, you can completely cease the production of any stress chemicals or hormones. You have mastered your body and your mind. You are in control. At this level, nobody and no thing can rob you of your inner peace and joy.

  When mystics master this state, they describe how they are freed from fear, stress, desire, and the control of others. They can be in jail or prison, yet they are completely free. We are all mystics. We can all be free. We just have to remember how.

  The second approach is psychological. The script makes the listener aware of the nature of stress, about its causes and cures. The harmful effects of stress upon the body and the psyche are emphasized, along with the understanding that we can learn to consciously let go of stress by changing our attitudes, perceptions, and perspective. The listener is empowered by the knowledge that we have control over stress-inducing situations. When we choose, we can alter our mental state and conditioning. We can transform stress into a positive life lesson.

  Another patient of mine, a 35-year-old insurance executive, disliked his job intensely, but he felt trapped because his position brought him a great deal of wealth and prestige. Although Jay had a large, beautiful house and an expensive sports car, his marriage was disintegrating, and he was in the midst of hostile divorce proceedings. He felt stressed at work and at home. Insomnia, gastrointestinal distress, headaches, and lethargy were plaguing his life. He was beginning to have anxiety attacks.

  Our therapeutic approach was the threefold model discussed previously—the physical, psychological, and spiritual. We actively utilized the relaxation response, and Jay religiously practiced with the stress-reduction CD. He rapidly learned how to relax his muscles and how to control his breathing in order to prevent hyperventilating when under stress.

  The concept of mindfulness or awareness is critical in this process. Mindfulness means total awareness of all that is happening in the present moment, awareness of what your muscles are doing, what thoughts and emotions are present in your mind at this very moment in time, and what you are perceiving. When you are mindful, you minimize anxiety, because you have become the objective observer of your physical and mental processes.

  As soon as Jay became aware of an increase in tension or tightness of his muscles, he began to relax them. As soon as he recognized that he was hyperventilating, he consciously slowed his respiratory rate.

  The psychological approach with Jay involved an expanded perception, and an understanding of himself and the stressors in his life. He began to realize that other people’s opinions and impressions did not need to affect him negatively or to diminish his self-esteem. Others’ opinions were subjective, based on their own enculturation and experiences. Jay knew that he was a good person, empathetic and compassionate, and the opinions and thoughts of others did not by themselves have the power to rob him of his inner peace or joy. Only he could let them do this, and now he disempowered the negative and critical people in his life.

  Jay also realized that authentic security is an inner state. We can lose our material possessions at any time, but only we can give away our inner peace, our self-esteem, and self-love. Jay’s house, car, bank accounts, and boat were just possessions, just things. They did not measure him as a person. His compassionate actions, his thoughts and deeds, and his emotional and spiritual evolution were much more important. He understood spiritually that we do not take our material things with us when we die. We take our relationships, our learning, our growth.

  Jay understood that the quality of his relationships was more important than the quantity of his possessions. His divorce was amicable. He and his wi
fe realized that they had grown apart in many ways, as people often do. They were able to communicate clearly and with caring as they freed each other to grow along their different paths.

  Jay realized that he had a facility for writing, a passion he had abandoned many years earlier because he had been erroneously taught that money was more important than his dreams. He closed his office and moved to California, where he achieved considerable success as a screenwriter. He is much happier now.

  The third approach is the spiritual one. As we truly understand the nature of our souls and the lessons we all came here to learn; as we remember that we are immortal, eternal, then not only is stress released, but an energy of joy and love flows into our awareness like a river being renewed by the refreshing rains of spring.

  It is not necessary to master all three approaches in order to benefit from the CD. Acquiring the skills of deep physical relaxation will, in itself, produce healing relief. The somatic symptoms of stress will be released. Your body will feel better, your energy level will increase, your sleep will improve and become more refreshing, and you will feel more inner peace. You will have gained the ability to quell the symptoms of stress and anxiety when they arise, and you will have learned how to restore your body to a peaceful equilibrium. You can prevent the stress or anxiety from progressing to uncomfortable or dangerous levels. You will find that you are in control of your physical body.

  Similarly, your physical health will benefit. Clearly, symptoms of stress such as headaches, stomach hyperacidity, elevated blood pressure, cardiac problems, insomnia and nightmares, weight gain or loss, hair loss, skin disorders, anxiety and panic attacks, difficulty concentrating, chronically low energy levels, and a host of other medical problems will significantly diminish or even be eliminated. We all possess an amazing ability to influence and control the physiological processes of our bodies. We have mostly forgotten how to master these processes, but we can regain these skills with practice. The CD included with this book will teach you how.

  As you feel more and more in control of your physical state, your mental outlook will brighten, and you will feel more optimistic and hopeful. Your mood will improve as feelings of sadness or hopelessness lessen. As your mood lightens, your relationships with other people will also be enhanced, because you will react more positively and patiently. Others will sense your happier, more peaceful attitude, and their reactions to you will similarly improve. A positive cycle of improved interaction in your relationships will be established and maintained because it is self-reinforcing.

  In my fourth book, Messages from the Masters: Tapping into the Power of Love, I wrote about how to remove obstacles to our happiness and joy. Spiritual understanding can dissolve stress and fear; our perspective can be shifted from the everyday and ordinary to the transcendent and timeless. As this shift in consciousness occurs, stress can be eliminated. We see and feel the world in a different way. I wrote:

  We are all created in the image of God and God is within us all. Our basic underlying nature is loving, peaceful, balanced, and harmonious. We are innately compassionate, caring, and kind. We are souls.

  Over the course of our lifetimes, an overlay of fear, anger, envy, sadness, insecurity, and many other negative thoughts and emotions accrues and covers our beautiful inner nature. This outer covering is intensified and reinforced by our childhood training and experiences in the current life. We appear to be what we are not—angry and fearful people, filled with insecurity, guilt, and self-doubts. We have forgotten who we really are.

  We do not need to learn about love and balance, about peace and compassion, about forgiveness and faith. We have always known these things.

  Instead, our task is to unlearn those negative and harmful emotions and attitudes that plague our lives and cause us, our communities, and our world such misery. As we let go of these negative traits, lo and behold, we rediscover our true nature, our positive and loving self. It has been there all the time, covered over, obscured, and forgotten.

  When we remove the outer layers of dirt and debris, the negative thoughts and emotions, when we clean and polish away the outer overly, then we can once again discern the true diamonds we really are. We are immortal and divine souls on our way home. We have always been diamonds underneath….

  To let go of negative thoughts and emotions and to discover inner peace, joy, and happiness—these are the goals. You will find life so much more enjoyable. You will progress with more awareness along your spiritual path. And your soul will manifest itself within a physical body that is infinitely more healthy and resistant to diseases. What a wonderful combination. Even if you are still debating or mulling over the spiritual lessons and implications, there is no doubt about the physical benefits you can obtain from the practices and attitudes described here. These health benefits present strong practical reasons for following the suggestions. … Along the way, spiritual benefits will accrue anyway. You have nothing to lose, and you have everything to gain.

  Chapter Ten

  HOW TO USE THE CD

  The stress-reduction exercise on the enclosed CD is a powerful tool for self-healing. It teaches techniques to achieve profound states of relaxation. It will instruct you how to recognize and release muscle tension and tightness. Awareness and control of respiratory rhythm is learned. Mindfulness of physical, emotional, and psychological perceptions is attained and used as a device to achieve a level of healthy equilibrium whenever desired.

  The CD is perfectly safe. You are instructed that if you are ever uncomfortable with any image or feeling, you can detach and float above, observing or feeling from a distance. If you are still uncomfortable, you can return to a beautiful and peaceful scene, or you can open your eyes at any time and end the process. You are always in control.

  In actuality, discomfort while listening to the CD is extremely rare. The overwhelming effect is one of peace and deep relaxation. Stress and anxiety diminish and often disappear. The CD never creates symptoms; it heals them.

  This stress-reduction CD can be a valuable aid in reducing anxiety, improving mood, and healing symptoms. However, it is not intended to be a substitute for medical or psychological care, although it can certainly be used in conjunction with other therapeutic techniques. If you are dealing with any significant mental or emotional disorder, are undergoing psychotherapy, are experiencing seizures, or have any neurological illness, consult your physician or therapist first and only use the CD under his or her supervision.

  You will experience benefits at many levels, including the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. You may become aware of positive changes after the first time or two, or you may need more practice, which is why patience may be necessary. Sometimes other people become aware of positive transformation in you even before you become aware of it. The key is to avoid frustration and keep practicing. There is no magic formula. The more you practice, the deeper and deeper you will go, ever more quickly, until you reach that beautiful level of inner peace and tranquility where change and transformation occur.

  CD Transcript:

  Eliminating Stress,

  Finding Inner Peace

  [Editor’s Note: We have included the text

  of the CD here in case you would like to follow along

  or would like to refer back to it at a future date.]

  Let us begin by closing your eyes and taking a few relaxing breaths: breathing out stress, tension, tightness; breathing in beautiful energy. And as you do this, you will find your body relaxing more and more with each breath. Use your imagination. Imagine that you can actually breathe out the stresses and the tensions that you store in your body, and that you can breathe in the beautiful energy, which is all around you. And there really is.

  And as you do this—breathing out stress, breathing out tension—you will find your body relaxing more and more with each breath. And as you do this, allow your muscles to completely relax.

  Relax completely the muscles of your face and your jaw, le
tting go of all tightness and all tension in these muscles. Sometimes people who have jaw problems, headaches, neck pains, are clenching their teeth too tightly as a result of stress. So just let your face, your jaw, completely relax.

  And now completely relax the muscles of your neck, letting go of all tightness and all tension in these muscles. Feel your neck, so soft, so relaxed, as you go deeper and deeper into a beautiful state of peace and calm and serenity. And this is very healthy for you—healthy for your body and healthy for your mind—to relax completely, to let go of tensions, stresses, tightness. To feel the beautiful peace that is always around you and within you. And so you go deeper and deeper relaxed with each breath.

  And as you do this now, completely relax the muscles of your shoulders. People who carry too much responsibility often feel a tightness, a tension, in their shoulders. Let your shoulders completely relax.

  And now completely relax the muscles of your back—both the upper back and the lower back—letting go of all tension. People who have back pain often tense these muscles because of stress. And so let your back muscles completely relax. Let go of these tensions. Allow yourself to go even deeper. This is very safe … as you go even deeper.

  You’ll be able to follow my voice. And let my voice carry you deeper and deeper relaxed, but let other distractions or noises or thoughts only deepen your level even more as they fade away. You can go deep enough now.