One Last Summer

by Connelly, Victoria

  ‘I don’t eat meat.’

  Mrs Ryder frowned. ‘Don’t eat meat?’

  ‘I’m a vegan.’

  She tutted and shook her head. ‘Bad. Very bad.’

  ‘I’m on a very strict diet,’ Harrie stressed. ‘I thought I’d explained that in my letter.’

  ‘I don’t look at letters; I look at the people I’m cooking for.’

  ‘Well, if you don’t want the job, I guess I’ll have to find somebody else,’ Harrie said, deciding that she’d had enough of this outspoken woman. Harrie was employing her to make life easier – not to antagonise her and make her feel like a naughty child.

  ‘Now, now, wait a minute,’ Mrs Ryder said, pursing her lips. ‘No need to be so hasty. I’m sure we can come to some arrangement.’

  Harrie saw a slight softening in the woman’s demeanour.

  ‘I do hope so,’ she said, ‘because I hate wasting time.’

  Mrs Ryder nodded. ‘My job, you see, is to take care of people and, well, one look at you tells me that you need taking care of.’ Her eyes fastened on Harrie again, making her feel decidedly uncomfortable. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  Harrie accepted the apology. ‘All right then, let’s begin again, shall we?’

  They moved into the kitchen.

  ‘I’ve familiarised myself with the place,’ Mrs Ryder said.

  ‘You have?’

  ‘Always do before a job.’

  Harrie was impressed. ‘I don’t need to give you a tour then?’

  ‘No, no. I can find my way around just fine.’

  ‘And you’re okay for three days a week?’ Harrie checked.

  She nodded. ‘No more? It’s a big place to take care of.’

  ‘I know.’ Harrie had thought of this, anxious that hiring a medieval priory would just mean a lot of work all summer. She decided to be honest. ‘The thing is, we don’t want people coming and going all the time. This is a holiday, you see. A chance to unwind.’ And we’ve already got a grumpy restorer to contend with, Harrie privately thought.

  ‘Of course,’ Mrs Ryder said. ‘Well, if you change your mind—’

  ‘We’ll let you know.’

  Mrs Ryder had been carrying a large handbag and she placed it on one of the benches by the trestle table now, opening it up and pulling out a sheet of paper. ‘This is the letter you sent via the agency.’

  ‘About the food, yes,’ Harrie said, recognising it. ‘We’d like everything to be organic, locally grown and in season.’

  ‘And no meat?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘So your companions are vegan too?’ Mrs Ryder asked, nodding to the two ladies outside.

  ‘No, they’re not,’ Harrie informed her. ‘But you don’t need to buy any meat for us. We’ll be catering for ourselves too so I guess they’ll have what they want then.’

  ‘This is quite a list,’ Mrs Ryder stated.

  Harrie couldn’t help but agree, but she didn’t think it was unreasonable. It was just, well, healthy.

  ‘I trust you’ll be able to cope?’ Harrie said.

  Mrs Ryder looked at her again. ‘I could make you the best shepherd’s pie you’ve ever eaten,’ she told her.

  ‘I don’t want shepherd’s pie.’

  ‘Sirloin steak’s a speciality of mine.’

  ‘No, thank you.’

  ‘Or a nice pork chop?’

  ‘Not happening.’

  She shook her head and folded the piece of paper, putting it back in her bag. ‘I’ll see what I can do with these leafy greens and nuts then.’

  ‘Good.’

  Mrs Ryder picked up her bag. ‘I’d better go shopping.’

  ‘That sounds like a good idea,’ Harrie said. ‘Let me give you a key so you can come and go without having to wait for one of us to open the door.’ She went to the key hook and pulled down one of the smaller keys. ‘This will let you in through the door from the courtyard.’

  Mrs Ryder took it. ‘Thank you. I’ll be back to make you lunch.’

  ‘I’m looking forward to it.’

  Harrie watched as she went, her thick legs thumping down the path through the garden, her handbag looped in the crook of her arm. Harrie hoped she hadn’t made a dreadful mistake in hiring her. The last thing she wanted was to be fighting with somebody all summer. Still, it was early days. She’d see how lunch went before she started to worry.

  Returning to the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of water, she joined her friends in the courtyard garden.

  ‘Who was that?’ Audrey asked her. ‘We saw someone in the kitchen with you.’

  ‘It was Mrs Ryder, the cook and housekeeper.’

  ‘Blimey,’ Lisa said. ‘She looks like a right battleaxe.’

  ‘Yes, she was a bit,’ Harrie said, ‘but I think I’ve put her in her place. If I haven’t, we can always get rid of her.’

  Audrey shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked at Harrie. ‘I’m impressed,’ she said. ‘You’re normally so polite and obliging.’

  ‘Not this summer. I don’t want to have to cope with anyone difficult.’

  ‘Hear hear!’ Lisa said. ‘Have a croissant.’

  ‘No, thank you.’

  ‘You’re on holiday but you don’t want a croissant?’ Lisa asked, bemused.

  ‘I’m good,’ she told Lisa, secretly acknowledging to herself that the croissant Lisa was now slicing in half looked very good indeed. She did often wonder why she was still depriving herself of some of her favourite things. If the doctors were to be believed and her cancer was terminal, was her plant-based, low-sugar diet really doing her any good?

  ‘You’re skinny,’ Lisa pointed out. ‘Skinnier than me, and I’ve always been the skinniest out of us all.’

  ‘It was time I lost a bit,’ Harrie said. ‘It’s important to stay healthy.’

  ‘I think I’ve kind of put health on the backburner since starting my own business,’ Audrey admitted.

  ‘You mustn’t do that,’ Harrie said. ‘We’ve got plenty of time this summer. We can go for nice long walks together. Get things moving again.’

  ‘And is that how you got so skinny?’ Lisa asked.

  Harrie paused before answering. ‘I just watch what I eat these days.’

  ‘Well, that’s very disciplined of you,’ Lisa said. ‘Personally, I can’t resist a muffin or a chocolate-chip cookie and, if there are crisps in the house, then heaven help my waistline!’

  ‘Mike said he’d love me even if I was double the size I am now,’ Audrey confessed. ‘That’s not a very good incentive, is it?’

  ‘Not helpful to a woman!’ Lisa nodded.

  ‘I think you’re both in really good shape,’ Harrie said honestly.

  ‘That’s because you’ve not seen me in my bikini yet,’ Audrey said. ‘Actually, I’ve got a swimsuit these days which helps hold the tummy in.’

  ‘I’ve got knickers like that,’ Lisa confessed. ‘Horrible things. You wouldn’t want to be seen in them, if you know what I mean, but they do their job.’

  Harrie couldn’t help but laugh.

  ‘It’s all right for you!’ Lisa said. ‘You’re a skinny stick with no boobs.’

  Harrie stopped laughing and pulled her light cardigan around her body in a self-conscious manner.

  ‘Yes,’ Audrey said. ‘You’ll have to give us some tips. Other than green juices, that is.’

  There was a part of Harrie that wanted to cry out, ‘Try a double mastectomy,’ but she wasn’t quite ready for that revelation yet and so she simply smiled and nodded.

  ‘Getting older sucks, though, doesn’t it?’ Lisa said.

  ‘But there’s a positive way to look at it,’ Harrie stated.

  ‘What’s that?’ Audrey asked.

  ‘It’s a privilege denied many people,’ Harrie said. ‘That’s how I look at it. It doesn’t make me feel grateful every time I see a new grey hair or a wrinkle, but I can’t help thinking about all the people that haven’t even made it this fa
r. I lost a cousin when she was only twenty-five. She was just getting going, you know? Her career, her relationships. Sometimes, I think of all the incredible things I would have missed out on if my life had ended at her age – all that unfulfilled potential, all those moments I wouldn’t have enjoyed. That’s why I think we have to be grateful for every minute and if that means bemoaning a few aches and pains and grey hairs then it’s worth it because we’re still here.’

  Audrey and Lisa didn’t say anything for a moment, but sat staring at Harrie as if absorbing every single word she’d said.

  ‘Yeah, but you forget all that as soon as you see a grey hair,’ Lisa pointed out. ‘Well, I do anyway.’

  Audrey grinned. ‘I’m afraid we’re always so wrapped up in our own little microcosms, aren’t we? Nothing ever seems as important as our own worries and fears.’

  ‘Isn’t this all getting a bit too heavy for the first day of our holiday?’ Lisa asked.

  ‘I agree!’ Harrie said, shaking off her thoughtful mood. ‘Let’s do something wonderful. Mrs Ryder’s going to be making lunch today so that’s something we don’t have to worry about. We’ve got the whole morning stretching out in front of us.’

  ‘A whole morning with nothing to do?’ Audrey said. ‘I might have a panic attack. I’ve forgotten how to do nothing!’

  ‘We could go for a walk,’ Harrie suggested.

  ‘Walk off these croissants, you mean?’ Audrey said with a chuckle.

  ‘And work up an appetite for our lunch,’ Harrie said.

  ‘As long as it’s a nice gentle stroll and not a mountain hike,’ Audrey said. ‘I’m really not in shape, you know.’

  ‘I’ll need to change,’ Lisa said.

  ‘Me too,’ Harrie said. ‘Meet you back down here in five?’

  The women went up to their bedrooms and Harrie closed the door to her own, careful to lock it behind her while she got changed. She chose a loose T-shirt in a soft cotton that would allow plenty of movement and wouldn’t cling in awkward places. She was wearing a lot of baggy clothing these days, so conscious was she of her breast form prosthesis. How strange it had been to be given those. She still remembered her surprise at how heavy they’d felt. Apparently, it was a normal reaction. Women simply didn’t realise the weight they carried around in front of them. But, as alien as the prostheses had seemed, the thought of not having them had seemed even stranger.

  For a moment, Harrie looked at her reflection as she stood in the middle of the room in her bra. She was still so self-conscious about wearing them, but you really couldn’t tell, could you? There’d been a slightly dodgy moment downstairs when they’d all embraced and Harrie had felt her left prosthesis move upwards at an alarming angle. She’d wondered if Lisa had noticed, but it was probably all in her head.

  ‘You ready in there?’ Audrey shouted from the landing, and then she rattled the door handle.

  ‘Just a minute!’ Harrie called, quickly pulling her T-shirt over her head.

  ‘Why did you lock the door, Harrie?’ Audrey asked as soon as it was open.

  Harrie hesitated. ‘Habit, I guess. Living on your own makes you a tad nervy.’

  ‘Really?’

  Harrie nodded. ‘Come on – let’s get out into that sun.’

  A few minutes later, having put on appropriate footwear, the three friends met at the front door and left the priory through the little gate which led into a meadow.

  ‘There’s a public footpath from here,’ Harrie announced, looking down at a map she’d brought with her. ‘Here we are.’

  A stile over a low wall took them out onto the footpath and they walked down an unsurfaced lane lined with trees. Harrie glanced back at the priory, its tower dominating the landscape.

  ‘Can you believe we’re here?’ she said.

  ‘When I woke up this morning, it took me a while to realise that I wasn’t in the centre of Leeds,’ Lisa confessed. ‘I couldn’t understand where all the traffic had gone.’

  ‘I panicked because I’d never overslept,’ Audrey told them.

  ‘You are going to love oversleeping,’ Harrie said. ‘I think I should take your alarm clock off you just to make sure you don’t set it.’

  ‘How do you know I’ve got my alarm clock with me?’

  Harrie laughed. ‘You’re kidding, right? You’re Audrey. Of course you’ve got your alarm clock with you.’

  ‘Yes, but I didn’t set it last night.’

  Lisa gasped in mock horror. ‘Audrey Wells not setting her alarm clock for the first day of her holiday?’

  ‘Very funny!’

  ‘Seriously, you really should let me have your clock,’ Harrie insisted.

  ‘She’d only just go and set the clock on her phone or her laptop or something,’ Lisa pointed out.

  ‘You wouldn’t, would you?’ Harrie asked.

  ‘I won’t, I promise. I’m going to make a real effort here.’

  ‘Yes, she’s going to work really hard to relax. She’s got a spreadsheet and a mission statement on how to go about it too,’ Lisa teased.

  Audrey shook her head. ‘I’ll go home right now if you’re going to do nothing but tease me.’

  ‘Sorry!’ Lisa said, linking her arm through Audrey’s. ‘You know you’re my favourite person to tease in the whole world!’

  ‘How lucky am I?’

  The three women came to a crossroads in the path.

  ‘This way,’ Harrie said, nodding straight ahead.

  For a few moments, they walked in silence, their legs slicing through the long summer grasses of the lush Somerset countryside. It was a gentle landscape of rolling hills and wooded valleys, but there was something extra special about it, a magical quality about the air which told of its close proximity to the sea.

  The footpath suddenly became stony as it led through the trees, following a hill upwards between twisted hawthorns.

  ‘I thought you said this was going to be a gentle walk?’ Audrey complained from the back after a few minutes of hard walking.

  ‘Sorry!’ Harrie called back. ‘I didn’t read these contours properly on the map.’

  ‘Still, the view should be good if we ever get out of these trees,’ Lisa said. ‘And if it isn’t, we’ll dunk you in the pool later, okay?’

  ‘We’ll see about that!’ Harrie retorted.

  The three of them continued to march, too focused on the effort to talk much now. The strip of sky above them become narrower and narrower as the trees thickened, but then everything opened up and they found themselves at the top of a grassy hill. On one side was the sea, the pearly-blue water stretching out for miles, and on the other were the fields they had just walked through and the landscape far beyond.

  ‘Wow! That’s pretty spectacular,’ Audrey said, taking a swig of water from the bottle she was carrying and passing it around.

  ‘Told you!’ Harrie said.

  ‘No, you didn’t,’ Lisa said. ‘You’ve no idea what you’re doing with that map, do you?’

  ‘Not really,’ Harrie admitted.

  ‘Don’t put an English teacher in charge of geography,’ she said, bending forward and resting her hands on her knees. She suddenly felt light-headed.

  ‘Are you all right, Harrie? You look a bit red,’ Lisa said.

  She took a moment before answering. ‘I’m just hot, that’s all,’ she said at last. ‘I didn’t realise it was such a climb.’

  ‘Sit down for a minute. Catch your breath.’ Audrey placed a hand on her shoulder and peered at her in that disconcerting way she had that seemed to see everything. ‘Heaven only knows, I need to sit down. I haven’t had a workout like that in yonks.’

  ‘I told you to have a croissant.’ Lisa joined the two of them on the grass. ‘You can’t live on smoothies alone.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘You didn’t have much of a breakfast as far as I could see.’

  ‘I eat enough.’

  ‘Yeah, well, I’m not so sure about that.’

  ‘He
y, quit with the diet advice, okay?’

  Lisa looked a little taken aback. ‘Sorry,’ she said.

  Of course, her immediate apology made Harrie feel guilty for having snapped.

  ‘No, I’m sorry, Lisa.’

  Lisa held her hands up. ‘It’s not my business what you choose to eat. Or don’t.’

  Harrie sighed. ‘That’s right.’

  ‘Hey – you’re treading on my toes, Harrie. I thought it was me and Lisa who did the fighting around here,’ Audrey said.

  Harrie gave a little smile. ‘Let’s just enjoy this moment, shall we?’ She lay back on the grass and closed her eyes against the brilliant blue of the sky, listening to the mournful sound of gulls in the distance and feeling the wind playing across her face. She’d felt anxious back there when that wave of exhaustion had hit her. She had to remember that she couldn’t race around anymore. Life had to be at a more sedate pace these days, thanks to the medication she was on. The look on Audrey’s face had worried her. Honestly, her friend’s laser-like gaze unnerved her at times. She’d have to be careful around her or the truth would be out in no time.

  She took in a deep breath and sighed it out, instantly feeling better. Nobody spoke for a while. Companionable silence, Harrie thought. It was nice to experience this again. She’d missed it. Living on her own, it was mainly just silence she experienced, but this felt good. She liked having her friends there even if there was the occasional spat between them.

  Her mind drifted back over the years and the fun they’d had together. Lisa the livewire and Audrey the efficient. And Harrie. Who had she been to them? How did they see her? She was always the one in the middle. The peacemaker. The person behind the scenes keeping them all together. The ideas person. The instigator.

  The one who would be leaving the party first.

  There it was again – that negativity. Lying comfortably on a beautiful hill high above the sea, her two best friends in the world beside her, and still she couldn’t completely shut out the pain. Maybe it was because everything was so perfect that the negative thoughts crept in. She often found that in life – you could be in the middle of a completely happy moment and, the very next second, be totally aware of your own mortality. Did that make the moment even sweeter, she wondered?