One Last Summer

by Connelly, Victoria

  ‘Thanks, Harrie,’ Lisa groaned, closing the door.

  It was then that she remembered something: the birthday cake. Now, where was it hiding? It certainly hadn’t been in the fridge. Hadn’t Harrie put it in one of the cupboards?

  Lisa started opening a few and soon found the box the cake had come in. With careful hands, she lifted it and took it to the table, opening it up a moment later. And there it was: a single slice of cake. It was a pretty generous slice, it had to be said. You could probably get two decent slices from it, but you’d have to look for a knife and that wouldn’t be as simple as plonking it on a plate and eating it. But, could she, in all consciousness, eat that last slice of cake?

  She looked around as if somebody might be watching her from the dark corners of the large kitchen. Maybe this was some sort of test, she thought, but how very tempting it was and she couldn’t actually remember eating any more of the cake since that first night so surely everybody else had had seconds and even thirds. Anyway, it was probably going a bit stale by now, she told herself, giving it an experimental poke with a finger. She’d be doing everybody a favour by eating that last slice. It would probably prevent it from being ravaged by mice or from causing an outbreak of mould in the priory. Nobody would want that, would they?

  Sitting down at the table, Lisa pulled the opened box closer to her and picked up the slice, nibbling the triangular corner. Nothing had ever felt as decadent as eating that big slice of birthday cake in the middle of the night. The light sponge, the sweet jam and the smooth icing tasted so good that she refused to feel guilty about it. Harrie and Audrey would have done exactly the same thing, she reasoned.

  Still, she couldn’t help thinking that some long-departed monk was frowning down on her, shaking his head at her having given in to temptation. But it was too late for guilt now. The damage was done and, within a few minutes, there wasn’t even a single crumb left; she’d made sure of that.

  Getting up, she carefully folded the now empty box and put it into the bin and brushed down the table. All evidence of her greed must be removed. With any luck, nobody would remember that there’d been a slice left at all.

  Chapter 12

  Harrie was the first one up the morning after Audrey came back. It was a beautiful day and there was a freshness to the air which allowed a delightfully cool breeze to find its way into the priory through the windows that had been left open during the night. She liked these quiet moments and having the gentle old building to herself for a while. She walked around it now, barefoot, wincing slightly at the ancient coldness of the stone floors, but revelling in it too. She’d learned that feelings – even if they were unpleasant or even painful – meant that she was alive and that was always good. And so she strode across the floors, a big smile on her face as she admired the quirks of the property, peeping into alcoves, trailing her fingers across the crumbling brickwork, staring up into chimneys and listening to the squeaks of her favourite doors.

  After an hour or so of this happy pastime, Harrie made it into the kitchen, where she was surprised to see Mrs Ryder.

  ‘You’re very early,’ Harrie observed.

  Mrs Ryder nodded. ‘Got a dentist appointment later so thought I’d get my hours in here first,’ she explained. ‘Can I make you some breakfast? I’ve done a top-up shop and have plenty of eggs and bacon and—’

  ‘Did Lisa give you another list?’

  Mrs Ryder pursed her mouth and Harrie grinned.

  ‘She seems to have a heartier appetite than you.’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with my appetite,’ Harrie protested, even though she knew it was a lie. It hadn’t been the same for months now. For a while, everything she’d eaten had tasted of salt. It had been weird and unsettling and had put her off eating altogether and she’d lost so much weight and hated the way she could feel her ribs through her clothes. Since the whole salt disaster, her appetite had definitely shrunk, although she was careful to get plenty of good natural nutrients into her system. And the occasional piece of cake. Harrie smiled. She wasn’t sure what had suddenly made her think of the birthday cake, but now she couldn’t shake it from her mind and went to the cupboard where she’d placed it, opening the door and then frowning.

  ‘Mrs Ryder, have you seen the birthday cake?’

  ‘You’re eating cake for breakfast?’

  ‘No. I mean, I was just looking for it. It was in this cupboard with my blender, but now it’s gone.’

  ‘I’ve not touched it.’

  Harrie searched a few of the other cupboards and then opened the fridge, but there was no sign of the cake. Then her eye caught the bin and she went over to open it. Sure enough, there was the neatly folded box inside.

  ‘Looks like somebody’s enjoyed the last slice.’

  ‘Were they not meant to?’ Mrs Ryder asked.

  ‘Oh, it’s okay,’ Harrie said. ‘I’m just wondering who it was and when it happened.’ She laughed. ‘It’s fine.’

  ‘I’ll make you a cup of tea,’ Mrs Ryder said.

  ‘I’ll get a juice.’

  ‘One of them sickly-coloured things you’ve got in the fridge?’

  ‘There’s nothing sickly about them,’ Harrie told her. ‘They’re packed full of goodness.’

  ‘They look like liquid grass to me.’ She pulled a face to show her disgust. ‘No wonder your complexion looks green all the time.’

  ‘What?’ Harrie felt stunned by this observation.

  Before she knew what was happening, Mrs Ryder had crossed the room and had caught Harrie’s face in her chubby hands. Harrie gasped and went rigid, her eyes wide in alarm at this unprovoked move.

  ‘You’re not well, are you?’ Mrs Ryder said, standing back now and letting her hands drop.

  Harrie turned away from her inquisitor and opened the fridge for the express purpose of hiding her face inside it.

  ‘My sister – she – well, she was ill,’ Mrs Ryder continued.

  Harrie grabbed one of her juices. One of her green juices. She knew she’d have to come out of the fridge at some point, but she was kind of hoping for an intervention before she did. Maybe Lisa would come bounding into the kitchen or maybe the tower would crash down. That would be a good distraction.

  ‘I’m right, aren’t I?’ Mrs Ryder’s voice sounded as if it was just the other side of the fridge door. Harrie took a deep breath and closed it. She wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but there was something in Mrs Ryder’s face that made her feel as if nothing but the truth would do.

  ‘How did you know?’ Harrie found herself saying, realising that her hands were trembling.

  ‘You have that same other-worldly look about you that my sister had.’

  Harrie’s mouth had gone quite dry now.

  ‘Your friends don’t know, do they?’

  She took a few big gulps of her juice before answering. ‘Audrey suspects something.’

  ‘The serious friend?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘But you haven’t told them?’

  ‘No.’

  Mrs Ryder looked concerned by this. ‘But you are going to, aren’t you?’

  ‘I was, but I’m not so sure now. Audrey’s been sick, you see.’

  ‘Not as sick as you by the looks of things.’

  ‘That’s what my daughter keeps saying,’ Harrie admitted.

  ‘Cancer?’ Mrs Ryder whispered.

  Harrie paused before answering. Oh, how she hated that word – that soul-crushing, mind-paralysing word. ‘Yes,’ she said, her voice little more than a peep.

  ‘I thought so.’

  ‘Is it really so obvious?’

  ‘There are a few signs if you know what you’re looking for.’

  ‘And your sister?’

  ‘She passed,’ Mrs Ryder said matter-of-factly.

  ‘I’m so sorry.’

  A moment of stillness and wordlessness passed between the two women. It was a strange feeling because Harrie didn’t feel any sort of closeness to Mrs Ryd
er, but this confession – this sharing of intimate pain – now connected them. Harrie had found that her journey with cancer had linked her to so many people in this way – people she probably would never have spoken to. She remembered that strange waiting-room camaraderie and the little looks that passed between people that said, I’m here too, I understand. Something similar was happening with Mrs Ryder now.

  ‘But you’re okay now?’ Mrs Ryder asked, her voice catching slightly.

  ‘No.’ The blunt word seemed to pop out of Harrie and she swore she could see tears rising in Mrs Ryder’s eyes.

  ‘You must tell them,’ Mrs Ryder said gently.

  Harrie shook her head. ‘I can’t. I thought I could, but not now.’

  ‘You might regret that.’

  ‘I won’t get much time to regret anything,’ Harrie said grimly.

  ‘But your friends would want to know, wouldn’t they?’

  Harrie drank some more of her juice.

  ‘Let me feed you up a bit,’ Mrs Ryder said, pulling a face at Harrie’s green glass.

  ‘Really, my appetite isn’t good.’

  ‘But you haven’t given me a chance,’ Mrs Ryder told her, her hands on her hips now. ‘I bet I could tempt you with something. I make a pretty good cottage pie.’

  Harrie couldn’t help smiling. ‘You know I’m a vegan!’

  ‘Why deprive yourself? Especially now.’ Mrs Ryder paused. ‘I mean . . .’

  ‘I know what you mean.’

  ‘Well, you should be enjoying yourself.’

  ‘But I am.’

  ‘What – with them awful juices?’

  ‘They’re not awful! You should try one.’ Harrie returned to the fridge and opened the door, pulling out one of the juices.

  Mrs Ryder flinched and shook her head. ‘No, no, no! I’m not pouring that horrible green thing into me. I’ll tell you what. I’m going to leave you one of my meat pies with the golden crusts.’ She raised a plump finger in the air as Harrie was about to protest. ‘You can eat it or not, but I’m making it all the same. Your friends can enjoy it even if you don’t.’

  Harrie gave in with a sigh. ‘Fine. Make it and leave it if it makes you happy.’

  Mrs Ryder looked pleased at this and it was then that Audrey and Lisa came into the kitchen.

  ‘Good morning!’ Lisa chimed. ‘What are you two chattering about?’

  ‘Nothing!’ Harrie said, exchanging a little glance with Mrs Ryder, who quickly turned her back on her and busied herself at the kitchen sink. ‘I was just trying to persuade Mrs Ryder to enjoy a green juice with me.’

  ‘Ewwww! What did she do to deserve that fate?’ Lisa asked. ‘It’s like something you’d find in a student fridge at uni.’

  ‘Like that gone-off milk, remember?’ Audrey said, screwing up her nose.

  ‘Don’t remind me,’ Lisa said. ‘I poured it into my coffee and it came out in huge blobs.’

  ‘Why didn’t you sniff it first?’ Audrey asked.

  ‘I was half asleep. I thought it would be fine.’

  ‘Remember we used to have to write our name on things in the fridge?’ Harrie said. ‘You used to write with a big red angry pen, Lisa.’

  ‘And even that didn’t stop people from stealing,’ Lisa said, ‘but fear not – we will not be stealing your green juice!’

  Harrie smiled. ‘Isn’t Honor up yet?’

  ‘I haven’t seen her,’ Lisa said.

  ‘Did you sleep well, Aud? Wasn’t it hot?’

  ‘I had to get up for a cold water.’

  Harrie nodded, wondering if it was Audrey who had eaten the last slice of cake. Well, if she had, she couldn’t begrudge her for it after what she’d been through.

  ‘I’m going into town this morning. Can I pick up anything for you?’ Harrie asked. ‘Oh, there you are, darling.’

  Honor entered the kitchen, her eyes looking red and sore.

  ‘Are you okay, sweetie?’ Lisa asked.

  ‘I’m fine,’ Honor said, but she didn’t look fine to Harrie, who approached her now and gently stroked her hair.

  ‘Did you not sleep?’

  ‘I slept fine.’

  Harrie examined her daughter’s face and could see the pain clearly etched there.

  ‘I fancy French toast,’ Audrey announced. ‘Anybody else?’

  Honor moved towards the cupboard and reached in for a box of cereal.

  ‘I was just saying that I’ve decided to go into town,’ Harrie said again. ‘Does anybody need anything?’

  ‘Oh!’ Lisa immediately cried. ‘Can you get me some coffee? You know the sort I like?’ Lisa went to one of the cupboards and pulled out her almost empty jar of coffee to show Harrie.

  Harrie nodded. ‘Got it. Anything else?’

  Both Lisa and Audrey began to list some things and Harrie grabbed a notebook and pen from out of her handbag.

  ‘I’m running out of toothpaste,’ Audrey said.

  ‘And I’d love some more of that coleslaw from that deli if you’re passing,’ Lisa said.

  ‘Oh, if you’re going past that little bookshop, could you pop in and see if they’ve got the new Susan Hill? But only if you’re going past.’

  ‘Hang on a minute. Let me get this all down.’

  ‘Perhaps we should get some more wine in too?’ Lisa suggested.

  ‘Never a bad idea,’ Audrey said.

  ‘Hey!’ Honor suddenly cried.

  ‘What is it?’ Harrie asked, looking up. ‘Did you want something too?’

  ‘If I did, I’d get it myself. I wouldn’t bother you, Mum, and neither should you two. She’s not here to be at your beck and call.’

  ‘Honor – I offered to go. I don’t mind.’

  ‘But you shouldn’t be waiting on everyone like this.’

  Audrey was looking pointedly at Harrie now. ‘Why shouldn’t she, Honor?’

  Harrie glared at her daughter. ‘I really don’t mind.’

  ‘Well, I’m minding for you,’ Honor said.

  Everybody was staring at them now and Harrie felt horribly uneasy, as if she was under a microscope. It was Mrs Ryder who came to the rescue.

  ‘I’ll help,’ she said. ‘I’m going into town too and can help your mum.’

  ‘I don’t need any help. It’s only a bit of shopping. Why is everyone making such a fuss?’

  Her question hung in the air for a moment.

  ‘Right, let me get my handbag,’ Mrs Ryder said. ‘I’m all done here anyway.’

  Quickly, before anybody could say anything else, Harrie left with Mrs Ryder.

  Audrey had been watching Honor for a while as she swam angry lengths in the pool. She’d never seen anyone swim with such fury before. It was as if she was fighting the water with each and every stroke. Lisa, who was sitting with a pair of earphones on, didn’t seem to notice or wasn’t saying anything if she did.

  It was almost three hours since Harrie had left to go shopping and Audrey was still perplexed about Honor’s earlier outburst. She’d tried to question her about it, but Honor had disappeared into her room with her breakfast as soon as her mother had left and then she’d walked straight between Audrey and Lisa settled by the pool and jumped headlong into the water. She’d been swimming now for a good ten minutes. She was going to have to stop sooner or later and then Audrey would try to talk to her again.

  Something was definitely going on, Audrey knew that. Perhaps Honor resented her mother’s two best friends being there. Perhaps she wanted her mother to herself. But Honor wasn’t really that kind of person. She didn’t have a selfish bone in her body and it wasn’t like her to be possessive.

  Audrey watched as she continued to slice through the water. Lisa was still locked away in her world of music, her head nodding to her latest favourite band. Unless she was chanting to something yogic. No, Audrey thought, the beat was too fast.

  She returned to watching Honor. She must be getting out of the pool soon. Audrey was beginning to get annoyed, which probably wouldn’t do
her blood pressure any good. She took a moment, taking in some slow deep breaths and breathing them back out again.

  It was then that Honor emerged from the pool, her long limbs dripping in the sunshine. Audrey suddenly felt nervous about confronting the young woman even though she’d known her all her life. But there was something different about her now. All the joy seemed to have been sucked out of her and Audrey had to find out what was going on.

  ‘Honor?’

  Honor had grabbed the towel she’d brought out with her and was roughly drying her hair.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I’d like to talk to you.’

  ‘What about?’

  ‘About your mother.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I think there’s something going on here.’

  Honor continued to dry her hair, seemingly taking an unnatural amount of time over it.

  ‘Honor – will you please look at me?’ Audrey was almost shouting now.

  ‘What?’ Honor yelled back. This caught Lisa’s attention and she took her headphones off.

  ‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

  ‘That’s what I’m trying to find out.’

  ‘Nothing’s going on!’ Honor cried.

  ‘Yes, well, that’s where I think you’re not telling the truth,’ Audrey said. ‘For one thing, you’re behaving like a teenager. I’ve never seen you like this before even when you were a teenager.’

  ‘Is everything okay?’ Lisa asked.

  Honor flashed her a wild look. She looked both vulnerably young and horribly aged.

  ‘What is it?’ Audrey asked. ‘Has something happened between you and your mum that you’re not telling us about?’

  Honor stared at her for a moment. She looked as if she was on the precipice of confession. Indeed, her lips parted as if she was about to speak, but then she swallowed and looked away.

  ‘You’ll have to ask Mum what’s wrong. It’s about time she told you.’

  Audrey was just about to question her about this when she heard the cheerful voice of Harrie ringing out across the garden. She turned to look and there was her friend, her shopping bags in her hands.

  ‘Hey!’ Harrie called as she approached. ‘I managed to get everything. Well, apart from your coleslaw, Lisa. They’d run out. But I got you a little pot of olives instead. I hope that’s all right. They looked so gorgeous.’ Harrie stopped talking and looked at everyone, a frown etching her face. ‘What’s the matter?’