Pain (Curse of the Gods Book 5)

by Jaymin Eve

  His words hit a sore spot in my chest, an old wound that had been festering in there for life-cycles. There was truth in his words and that was what hurt, but he was also wrong as well.

  “Dwellers, I think, of all the beings I’ve met, have the best lives,” I told him. “Do you know why? Because we aren’t in competition with anyone else. If we do our jobs, they leave us alone. We get to have families and sit down with them for dinner. We appreciate the smallest joys. Fresh water. Bullsen kick-jump events. The one moon-cycle where you get berries. We are living for those moments. Gods have nothing to live for, and sols just live to become gods.”

  I didn’t say it as eloquently as it sounded in my head, but I hoped that I at least got my point across. Siret continued to watch me intensely, as though he was trying to read me. My thoughts must have been blocked to him.

  “They’re not,” he said moving closer so that we were almost touching. “I was just wondering if maybe I have a little more dweller in my personality than I ever thought. I’m all about living for the moments lately.”

  I chuckled before closing the final gap and pressing myself into him. “There’s no dweller in any of you Abcurses, but that’s okay, I’ll make sure you always live for the moments. I’ll keep you grounded.”

  He leaned his head down like he was about to kiss me, and then we remembered where we were and what we were supposed to be doing. Both of us swung around to find our marks again, and I let out a relieved breath when a very bored-looking Yael came into view. He was leaned against a thick, sturdy tree trunk. The branches of that tree shot way up into the sky, its reach far. Siret and I started to walk, moving away from the lake and toward the main throng of the party.

  “So … we want to get their attention soon, right?” I asked as we manoeuvred around. Lots of the gods nodded to Siret as he passed, and I could see that the Abcurses were respected here. Or at least a little feared.

  “Yes, because they get intoxicated quite fast. King’s concoctions are potent for everyone except him.”

  I remembered them telling me that he could never get drunk, but everyone around him would.

  “And I’m just going to tell them what’s going on and demonstrate my power?” I asked.

  We’d talked it over a few times, but when the five of them were together at least one of them always disagreed with the other four, and I couldn’t remember what the final plan had ended up being. Cyrus and Emmy approached at that moment, and we both turned to hear what they had to say.

  “I will tell them what is going on,” Cyrus announced without preamble, not even trying to hide the fact that he had apparently been eavesdropping. “Keeping this world in balance is my job, and it’s so far skewed off course right now that there might not be a chance to even come back from this. But we have to try.”

  Emmy grabbed his hand. “The fact that it’s snowing right now should be a pretty big piece of evidence to present them.”

  Cyrus nodded before he tugged her a little closer, tucking her into his side protectively. Gods were surging past us everywhere, and he clearly was doing his best to keep her safe, which made me like him just a little bit more.

  “When do you want to start then?” I asked, looking between them all. “I think we have enough gods here now, and Staviti isn’t here, which is a huge bonus.”

  Cyrus’s smile was twisted with cynicism. “His spies are here. We won’t have much time once we start; he’s going to want to stop this before it can gather force, so be prepared for your demonstration, Willa.” He focussed on me with those intense eyes and I forced myself not to shiver. “Are you ready?” he pressed.

  I nodded rapidly. “Oh yeah, totally ready. I’ve been practising for multiple sun-cycles and know exactly what I’m going to do. All practised up. It doesn’t get any more ready than me.”

  Siret coughed next to me but didn’t say a word. We’d already decided I was a “wing it” sort of woman, doing my best thinking when I wasn’t thinking. You couldn’t practice winging it, but something told me that attitude wouldn’t impress Cyrus. Emmy was smiling at me like she knew exactly what I was thinking, but I’d already lost the Neutral God’s interest. He was now focussed on the crowds.

  “I’ll wait five to ten more clicks,” he said, turning back to us. “Go. Mingle with the gods. You’ll see me on the stage when it’s time.”

  There were servers on the stage playing an assortment of musical instruments, and I turned to watch them as Cyrus and Emmy walked away.

  “Staviti is very fond of dwellers who display musical aptitude,” Siret said, following my line of sight. “He has some play for him for many sun-cycles.”

  Whenever I heard his name, a bubbling of anger swirled in my gut and it grew worse with every instance. It felt like eventually I would lose control of the energy and it would explode from me with more force than my body could handle, almost as though I would have to be destroyed to allow my power the freedom it required.

  “Don’t even think that,” Siret said fiercely. “You must exist in this world; there’s no other option.”

  I nodded, but the troubled thoughts didn’t leave me. I was one being, and if it required a sacrifice to save all the rest, then what choice did I have?

  “They’re moving,” Siret whispered, leaning down to my ear.

  I turned to follow Yael and Rome, who were stepping through the crowds now. Luckily, Rome stood heads above most of the other gods, despite their heights, and it was easy to follow their path.

  “Let’s move toward the stage,” I suggested, ready to know what sort of battle we were facing. It was pertinent that we knew who our allies were … and maybe even more important, who our enemies were.

  Siret didn’t pull me into his side like he might normally; instead he allowed me to push through the crowd while he stayed at my back. At first I was confused because it wasn’t normal Abcurse behaviour, but very quickly I caught on to what he was doing.

  I couldn’t hide behind them for this. I had to make these gods respect me, which meant I had to throw my power around a little bit. If there was one thing I had learned from the gods, it was that they respected power over everything else.

  I searched for the heat inside me—the feeling that I had associated with the source of my power. My arms began to elevate again as I walked because for some reason it was the most familiar and comfortable way for me to release my energy. I let it seep from my body and rise up around me, almost like a cloak. I could sense the energy of the other gods, so it stood to reason that they would feel mine too. Sure enough, as I surged forward through the crowds, my energy seemed to almost push the other gods gently to the sides. A path formed in front of me and I stepped along the newly formed passageway.

  Their attention naturally went to Siret as we passed and I watched as they all tried to figure out how his energy was pushing them aside. It took them all a moment, but eventually their attention slid to me, finding the source. Their expressions ranged from disbelieving to confused. A burly god in blue robes approached me from a few yards away, charging through the seas of people as though he would put a stop to whatever menace was parting the crowds.

  I waved my hands and froze him to the spot, releasing him only once Siret and I were long past. I felt guilt at the abuse of power, but the last thing I needed was to get into a fight before I’d even had a chance to say my piece. It would probably happen soon after anyway. The gods were not going to like being told that their world was about to be turned upside down—no matter which course of action they chose. They were used to being on the top.

  By the time we reached the stage, I was relieved to see Yael and Rome near the right side, and Coen and Aros near the left. Cyrus and Emmy weren’t in sight at first, but about three clicks later they stepped out from behind a huge string instrument and crossed to the front of the stage.

  The servers didn’t seem to notice; they were focussed on performing their given task without error. Between the noise of the party and the servers playin
g their instruments, I had no idea how Cyrus planned on getting everyone’s attention. He paused on the edge of the stage and lifted both of his hands. White light emanated from him, blinding in its intensity, and an eerie sort of silence descended over the crowd all at once. I opened my mouth to ask Siret what Cryus had done, but every time I tried to speak a word, my mind and tongue got confused and my voice disappeared.

  He’d silenced us all.

  How freaking powerful was Cyrus?

  His glow faded slightly then, but the energy holding our thoughts and tongues lingered. I felt like I could fight through it, but I didn’t bother to try. Breaking his energy wasn’t in my best interests.

  “I have a message for you all,” Cyrus started, his voice amplified into a loud boom. “You need to listen to my words and pay them great heed. The worlds are no longer in balance.” He paused somewhat dramatically to let those words sink in for a micro-click. “We are all in grave danger because the further Topia slips to one side of the spectrum, the less energy we, as gods, will have to draw from. We will become weaker. Eventually, if we follow this trajectory, Topia will fall and us along with it.”

  He had their full attention now. From what I could see, they weren’t fighting against his hold any longer. Their eyes were locked on the god in white.

  “We have brought you here tonight to give you a choice,” he continued. “To side with the one who destroys our balance for his own power gain: Staviti. Or … you have another choice. A new god has been created—though she was not created by Staviti. She is an Original, and her power may even rival Staviti’s. With her help, we can seize control of our world and begin the healing process before it is too late. Topia stands on a precipice and we can no longer hide from reality. If you do not support this new goddess, Staviti will destroy her, and his cycle of abuse will continue uninterrupted. We ask only for your support and your help. This world does not belong under the control of one man, and no one man can claim ownership of the land we stand on.” His hand waved out toward the snow still visible beyond the garden. “See the truth with your own eyes. Snow has started to fall: the land is weeping. The panteras are losing their members to a wild urge they cannot control. Staviti is manipulating the natural order of ascension; he is attempting to prevent any further sols from reaching Topia, and in time, he will start to cull those who are already here. You all know this is the truth, you just don’t want to face it.”

  “Holy shit,” I whispered. He was laying it right out for them all.

  I then realised I’d spoken out loud, which meant that Cyrus had lifted whatever energy was controlling us, or it had eventually faded away with his light.

  Still no one spoke.

  Emmy stepped up then to join her guy. She looked stunning, her head held high, determination creasing her brow. Cyrus placed his hand against her back. “This is Emmanuelle,” he said, pride lacing his words. “She was a dweller until just recently, but now … now she is a god.”

  “How?” someone shouted.

  “Yeah,” another god added, “you just said that Staviti can make no new gods.”

  Cyrus turned his gaze in the direction of the speakers and silence fell again. “The goddess I spoke of is also a Creator and she has achieved something that not even Staviti has done: she brought Emmanuelle—a dweller—back from death, changing and morphing her into something none of us have ever seen. The first God of Fertility.”

  There was a snort of disbelief from somewhere close by, and it was starting to feel like Cyrus was losing them again. Emmy must have gotten the same vibe as me, because she smiled, and I recognised her expression immediately. Either she was about to launch into a lecture or she was going to demonstrate her power, but either way, she was about to prove them wrong.

  With a single leap, she was off the stage and striding across the grassed area below. The gathered people began to crowd in around her, but none dared to get too close. Probably because of the white light beginning to shoot from Cyrus again. Emmy’s skin was glowing too, and I was still half convinced that it was the glow that tied her and Cyrus together on an emotional level. And their rules. And their books. And their stupid inside jokes.

  “Calm down, Soldier,” Siret said with laughter in his words.

  Right. Calming down was probably a good idea.

  “I can demonstrate Fertility to you,” Emmy was saying, her voice just audible from where I was standing. “But you’ll have to let me through to the other side of the garden.”

  The gods parted immediately, and a long path to the snow formed for Emmy. Grabbing hold of Siret’s hand, I tugged him along, rushing to follow. I used my power again to create my own path, all the while feeling paranoid that everyone was going to know it was me now. Cyrus had given them the initial information, but he hadn’t named me yet. It was only a matter of time though. Then I would be a target.

  When we reached the snow, Emmy stepped out and lifted her hands. I could feel the warmth she was creating from where I stood a few feet away, and immense pride filled my chest when a plethora of flowers and herbs and bushy gardens spread out from under her feet.

  “I create life where there is none,” she said simply, her garden continuing to grow. “The snow kills most plants; the cold isn’t survivable for them. But … Fertility is life.”

  Her garden was thriving, new flowers bursting to life everywhere. Emmy was really pushing her show, and I worried that she might tire herself out too much.

  “She’ll know her limits, right?”

  Siret pressed his lips close to my ear when he answered. “We have one shot to get them on our side. It needs to be impressive. There’s no other choice, but I’m sure Cyrus will stop her before she goes too far.”

  Sure enough, as more of her garden started to spread, Cyrus reached out and grabbed her hand, drawing Emmy’s attention toward him. He murmured something I couldn’t hear, and then she nodded once, a few fatigue lines appearing around her eyes.

  “Was it enough?” I asked.

  Siret started to answer but got no more than a “yes” out before something happened to quieten everyone again.

  The Garden of Everlasting started to shift around us.

  For a moment I wasn’t sure if I should panic or not, because I hadn’t initiated the change. What was the garden up to?

  The trees and bushes that had been forming the boundary started to spread across the ground, pushing away from the border and claiming Emmy’s new section. Immediately the snow ceased in the newly claimed section of the garden, warmth surrounding all of us who had been standing in the cold.

  “What in the worlds?” I choked out.

  Cyrus looked immensely pleased by this new development. “Only Fertility could create new life that was filled with enough old magic to be claimed by the garden,” he said loudly. “And only a Creator with strong and ancient energy would be able to create Fertility.”

  “Who is the new Creator?” a god asked from further back in the crowds. “Who is the god to perform these miraculous tasks when our original Creator could not?”

  Fuck. This was me. My moment to shine. The time where I had to step up and prove my worth to them all. Only I was having a complete mind blank. I had no idea what I could do that was big enough, and the “best thinking when not thinking” thing wasn’t working for me.

  Luckily, no one seemed to have noticed that I was frozen on the spot with a stupid, stunned expression on my face. I closed my eyes, hoping that something would come to me, that the correct path would be revealed before my name was said.

  “It’s my sister,” Emmy replied. “Willa Knight!”

  I opened my eyes in time to see her swing her arms at me, directing everyone’s attention to where I stood, frozen. For some reason, all I could think about was Jeffrey. Her face randomly appeared in my mind, maybe because I’d come to rely on the servers a bit to rescue me. Or maybe because I was doing the not-thinking thing and that’s where my brain went. Either way, I latched on to that thought of J
effrey in my panic, yanking it tightly to my mind and trying to figure out why it had suddenly appeared in my head. Siret let out a strangled sound a moment later, and I was just spinning my head toward him when everything went dark.

  Eight

  Hands wrapped around me and I clutched Siret’s shirt tightly. “What’s happening?” I tried to scream at him, but no sounds emerged at all. It was like the energy from Cyrus, only significantly more oppressive, as though I was physically trying to stop my face from smashing into the ground. Air started to swirl across my body, its touch icier than even the snow that had fallen on me. Was this something to do with Staviti? Were we under attack from the Creator?

  Or … was it me?

  As much as I wanted to blame this on someone else, I sensed that I’d done something really bad. I’d been thinking about Jeffrey and I’d pulled that thought to me … My hands clenched tightly in a natural response to panic. Had I pulled Jeffrey to me?

  Was the darkness filled with the souls? With the … wraiths?

  I was lifted off my feet before I could let that thought settle, and I had no idea how Siret knew where he was going, but within a few clicks we were with Yael and Rome. Another few clicks later and Aros’s and Coen’s energy joined us. I reached out blindly, desperate to touch them. Knowing they were all safe was important. It gave me some clarity, and I decided to see if I could fix whatever I’d caused. Closing my eyes, I imagined the land filled with light again, but when I opened my eyes, it was to complete darkness. My Creation couldn’t penetrate this sort of dark.

  What the hell could I do then? I could hear the crowd beginning to panic, and Cyrus’s voice booming over them, cautioning them all not to use any pockets until the darkness had lifted.

  Maybe if I couldn’t break the darkness, I might be able to shift it instead.

  I focussed with as much strength as I could, channelling my thoughts to the time I’d had to lift the long curtains in one of the houses in the village. They were heavy, designed to block out all light, but I’d persevered, pushing and pushing until eventually I got them rolled up, allowing the light to flow through the windows once more. Of course, I found out later that the light was blocked like that because the little girl I was visiting had a mother allergic to sunlight. I caused quite a lot of stress in that household and was subsequently banned from entering ever again. But the point was, persistence won in that situation, and I could be persistent again.