Pain (Curse of the Gods Book 5)

by Jaymin Eve

  “He’s not there yet; his message said he was dealing with the servers invading his land. So we have time to get you inside before he returns, but … you’ll have to wait on the other side of the glass,” she admitted quietly, almost guiltily.

  I released my mother’s hand, dropping my forehead into my palms as outrage rose up around me in the form of five burly, protesting gods.

  “It’s okay,” I muttered before they could start a fight with their own mother. “She’s right. It’s the only way to do this. But it means that I need to leave right now … and I need to do this alone.”

  I raised my eyes, and then stood as their outrage turned on me. It was brief, driven by fear, and it died away slowly to be replaced with grim understanding. Each of them stepped forward, crowding me back until we were in our own little bubble, several steps away from the others.

  “I’m not okay with this,” Rome muttered lowly.

  “You can’t leave us again,” Coen added, his eyes dark.

  “You married us,” Siret said, his hand cupping the side of my face. “You’re not allowed to leave us. I’m pretty sure there was something about that in the vows.”

  “We should have added it in,” Yael groused. “No more dying.”

  “Willa …” Aros drew my eyes to his. They were golden pain, drenched in apprehension. “Make sure you come back to us, or we will have no choice but to follow you into death and drag you back.”

  I threw myself at him, kissing him unashamedly despite the attention of every other god—and likely the eyes of dozens of panteras, though they were keeping themselves hidden away from so much god activity in their cave. Aros passed me to Yael, and I kissed him just as soundly. Siret pulled me from Yael and took his kiss before I could give it to him, some of his fear leaking into the strong grip of his fingers. Coen and Rome were next, and I started to cry again as I kissed them and stepped away, running over to Adeline before I could change my mind. I held my hand out, inviting her to take me from the cave, and my eyes settled on my parents, still on the floor of the cave.

  “Come back to us, Willa.” My mother’s voice cracked, as though from life-cycles of not being used. “We’re only beginning.”

  I blinked away my tears, nodded, and Adeline grabbed my hand, pulling me through the darkness. We landed in a room that was bare except for a huge, hulking shape covered by an equally large, patterned silk sheet. Adeline’s movements were hurried as she rushed toward the shape, grabbing the silk with both hands and pulling it away in a smooth ripple of movement, allowing it to billow out to the side and pool on the floor. We both stared up at the smooth, glittering black glass. It looked just like the stone of the mortal glass within the panteras cave—though this one was encased in a huge, gilded golden frame.

  “Are you sure I’ll be able to come back?” I asked, as Adeline crouched by the frame, her eyes closed and her hands smoothing over the glass. She didn’t answer me for several clicks as she concentrated on her task, and when she rose again, tiny lines of stress had begun to appear around her eyes.

  “You will be able to come back unless Staviti prevents you, so be careful, Willa. By stepping through, you are taking your soul with you, though you should remain anchored to this realm through my sons, so the passage shouldn’t be painful for you. For Staviti, it will be incredibly painful, but that is something he is willing to endure to be able to bring himself back to full power.”

  “That means he will be weakened when he gets there,” I said in an attempt to bolster my own confidence.

  “Go, now,” she muttered hurriedly, and I stepped up to the glass, putting my hand against the surface just as a ripple of power passed through the residence.

  Staviti had arrived. I stepped through the frame without hesitation, unable to risk him sensing me there. It felt like falling through darkness, but Adeline was right in her estimation that it would not be painful for me. The experience was almost peaceful, though the landing was anything but. My knees jarred with the impact of my sudden landing in the realm, and I braced myself from falling over, my arms flailing about in the darkness for something to grab a hold of. When my fingers brushed against something, it moved away from my touch. I screamed out a wordless sound, throwing my power blinding out around me … except nothing happened. Just like in the imprisonment realm, my power didn’t exist in this land. I swallowed, sucking in several deep breaths.

  “Whoever’s there … I’m not here to harm you,” I attempted to say into the darkness, but the words were difficult to bring to my lips. It was like trying to speak while intoxicated.

  I shrank back into myself until my eyes slowly began to adjust to the darkness. There were shapes all around me—formless until they began to separate, moving around me in slow, unsure movements. Souls, I realised. None of them made a sound, and when I stopped panicking, I realised that they seemed as wary of me as I was of them. The darkness transformed, then, from something foreboding into something … peaceful. It felt cold all around me, but not uncomfortably so, and the more I relaxed, the more I began to see. The cold sank into me and it was easy to believe that I would shiver until I dislodged, losing whatever glue held my person together and becoming a formless soul with the rest of them. Tiny sparks of light began to weave through the shadowy forms, and with them, smoky, creeping colours. I gasped, and an odd sense of joy sank into me. I looked down and saw that my body wasn’t solid as it had once been. Now, it was only a remnant, a memory of my once-living form. I could barely make out my arms and my legs, and with every moment more, they faded. A sense of alarm tried to permeate the fog that had descended through my mind, but it never quite reached me.

  This place was where I belonged: it was where we all belonged. Peaceful, colourful and light …

  Until it wasn’t.

  A mass hurled toward us from a huge, glittering dark surface visible in my peripheral, as though it had been hiding. The mass tumbled into our midst from the glittering dark space, and I tried to recall why the face and form were familiar just as we were plunged back into darkness again. The souls had hidden their colour and light, and with the sudden rush of darkness, clarity clawed at me with warm, desperate fingers. Acting quickly, I surged toward the mirror, gripping the frame as I watched the barely visible form that had boasted Staviti’s face begin to lose its proper shape. It warped, struggled, and reached out to the other shadows, who all shied away.

  “Not even you can have power here,” I said, my voice struggling again.

  His quickly fading form spun, and the wild vision of his eyes bored into me.

  “You will be first,” he declared, reaching for me. “The first soul I absorb. Your power never belonged to you. It always belonged to me. I know who you are. I know. You’re just like him; the twin that tried to steal my power from me. And just like him … I will take it back. It is mine.”

  He reached out, as though to draw my energy into his claw-like grip, but his fingers dissolved into smoke before my eyes, and his attention grew unfocussed. Around us, the souls were beginning their hypnotising dance again.

  “I am not dead,” I told Staviti, before my voice could become lost. “You can’t steal my soul, because it was never sent here. This is me—living, breathing, waiting for your desperate hunger for power to finally consume you.”

  I was losing him as surely as I was losing myself, the cold calmness and complacency taking its hold on my mind. If I hadn’t gripped the mirror in my fingers, I would have been lost completely. Staviti’s wild eyes wavered, and his lips tried to speak, but he could only form a single, soundless word.

  No.

  “Yes,” I replied, and despite everything, despite what he had done and the kind of man that he was … I almost sounded sad for him. This was not a place that anyone could survive in. Not unless they walked into it expecting the worst—and expecting the worst was my speciality. I turned from the wavering expression of denial that clung to Staviti’s face, dragging myself through the glass just as the first sparks
of light began to thread through the hypnotising souls. I couldn’t chance losing myself to their colour-dance again, even if it meant staying to savour the realisation as it passed through Staviti, before he was made dumb. It was enough to know that he would soon lose himself to death—because no living thing could last in there. That was a place for souls to be at peace.

  I tumbled out of the glass and onto solid ground, the sound of voices clashing almost violently with my senses, and I immediately closed my eyes against the sudden onslaught of light and colour, pulling my arms up to shield my face.

  “Willa, get out of the way!” It was Jakan’s voice—when had he gotten there?

  Hands gripped my arm, yanking me to the side even as I tried to recoil from the sudden touch. It was too real.

  “You won’t be able to keep me in there,” a voice growled, and I forced one of my eyes open, half-blinded as I watched Crowe backing toward the glass, Jakan advancing on him with hand extended.

  “I am the master of Death,” Crowe continued, a sneer lifting his lips. “I will find my way back, and then I will make you pay for what you have done here.”

  I fought against the battering my senses were withstanding, pushing to my feet and brushing off the hands that tried to pull me back down. Adeline, I realised, was trying to protect me. Crowe was at the frame, now, his hands braced on the edges. He couldn’t seem to stop himself from moving backwards, Jakan’s power proving too strong for him.

  “Nobody can master death,” I said, my voice hoarse and cracked, almost too quiet to hear—though he did hear me.

  His dark eyes swung to me, widening. I wasn’t sure what he could see, but whatever it was had fear passing over his features before Jakan shoved his hand forward and Crowe tumbled backwards, disappearing into the glass.

  “Now!” Adeline shouted as we all rushed toward the frame.

  “Staviti will have a moment of clarity when Crowe goes through,” I cautioned them. “We need to do this quickly.”

  “We’ll do it together,” Jakan said, taking my hand and placing it against the glass, though without enough pressure to send our hands through the glass. “Lend me your strength and I will redirect this glass to the imprisonment realm. Adeline, if you give it your influence, then it will only allow the passage of the pure, as you have said.”

  I closed my eyes, pouring my energy into the object beneath my hands and allowing Jakan to direct it as he needed. It took him less time than it would have taken me—but it drained us both completely. I could tell when he began to falter; his body sagged beside mine, a violent tremor taking hold of his hand. I pressed my other hand over his, holding it there, and poured everything remaining inside me into the glass. His hand steadied only slightly, and began to slip from beneath mine just as Adeline made a sound of triumph beside me.

  “It’s done,” she announced, as Jakan’s hand fell away completely.

  My fingers grappled for purchase but slid uselessly over the edge of the frame as I slumped forward, darkness rushing in around me and my mind going blank.

  It’s done.

  Epilogue

  One life cycle later …

  A History of the Worlds

  Scribed by Cyrus and Emmanuelle Knight

  Balance was returned to Minatsol on the same moon-cycle that the waters returned to the Great River, weaving through the mountains from the Southern Ocean to Blesswood. In this moon-cycle, water returned to all the other major waterways of Minatsol. Rivers that had dried up several hundred life-cycles ago were now abundant with the healing waters that eventually spread through the lands of Minatsol from the outermost reaches to the innermost sol cities. Where once there had been desert, forests and lakes soon flourished; trees that had long been extinct sprouted from the ground, and a strange tenor of magic began to hang in the air. This feeling, experienced by all in Minatsol, was later described as “life.” Minatsol had been dying, but no longer. It flourished, as did Topia. The lands remained connected; the waters running between them ensured that the powers of the world remained in balance, each land supporting the other and no one land coveting the energy of life.

  The sun-cycle the rivers ran with water again was renamed Life Sun-Cycle: a sun-cycle for celebration and appreciation. A sun-cycle to celebrate equality, to remember those sols and dwellers and gods who worked together to rid the worlds of darkness and death. A sun-cycle to celebrate the children of the gods, who walked from the mortal glass that same sun-cycle, pure of soul and tormented by time. It was a sun-cycle of new beginnings and old endings, all coming together.

  I set the book down, tears gathering in my eyes as I looked over to Emmy and Cyrus. They were standing before my chair, their expressions nervous.

  “Do you like it?” Emmy rushed out. “I mean … I know it’s a little conceited, playing into the whole hero thing, but they’ve been calling us the heroes of Life Sun-Cycle for all this time, it would have been strange to ignore that. It’s what the people have decided we are—”

  “This is amazing,” I interrupted, holding up the book to admire the thick leather cover and the gold-embossed title. It was the fanciest book I had ever seen. “Someone is finally recording the full history of the worlds. The truth. Everything Staviti has done and lied about. The water. The sacred relationship that Minatsol and Topia have … I’m so proud of you both.”

  Cyrus grinned, and Emmy teared up, throwing herself into my arms, though she quickly pulled back at my wince of pain.

  “Sorry,” she said, laying a hand over my stomach.

  I rubbed my hand over the other side of my swollen belly. “It’s fine. The twins are kicking this sun-cycle. They’re stubborn little assholes, just like their fathers. Desperate to get out and start causing trouble.”

  “Are you bad-mouthing our children again?” Coen asked, striding into the room.

  “We’ll see how you feel when they’re born and they start kicking you,” I shot back. “One of these little girls is definitely a god of Strength or Pain.”

  Coen grinned. “I pity her future husband.”

  “So do I,” Cyrus muttered dryly. “Dealing with one father-by-marriage is hard enough, but five? And all of them heroes of Life Sun-Cycle? She’ll be lucky if she has any husbands at all.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Jakan has barely been mean to you, Cyrus.”

  “I swear he poisoned my wine last night!” he protested.

  Emmy and I both snorted. It was true that Jakan and Cyrus didn’t get along very well. He had lost the battle with the Abcurses early on, because they outnumbered him, but Cyrus was an easier target for him to practise his overprotective father act on. And practise it he did.

  “Rome!” I called, summoning the largest Abcurse.

  He appeared only a fraction of a click later, which didn’t surprise me at all. I assumed that they had all been hiding just outside the door, pretending not to hover. Ever since we had found out that I was pregnant, their protectiveness had grown almost unbearable. I wasn’t allowed anywhere alone anymore. Even when I kicked them out, they only pretended to leave.

  Rome scooped me into his arms. “Up to the top?” he asked, and I nodded.

  At first, they hadn’t allowed me to walk anywhere, but I quickly whittled them down to an agreement that I liked better. I could walk whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted, but I would allow them to carry me up the slippery stairs to the top of the Peak. We passed out of the sitting room that I had been hiding away in and made our way through one of the larger social areas that we had built into the second level of the mountain. It had been built out over the side of the mountain, with a full wall of glass, rain-washed windows overlooking the ocean. It was wide enough to swallow four average-sized rooms, and had been split up into several lounge areas. Groups of comfortable, wing-backed armchairs were grouped together, knit blankets and plump cushions scattered between them in bright ocean colours. Low, circular tables made of the wood from the nearby forests and higher side tables topped with flourishing plants bro
ke up the groupings of armchairs. A crackling fireplace burned at each end of the giant room, and shelves of books lined the walls either side of the two fireplaces.

  The room was mostly empty at this time, apart from the god children that huddled in quiet corners, studying books or playing games. Most of the people were at work, the children in the school on the fifth level down the mountain. Emmy had founded the school herself, though she left the other teachers to attend to each sun-cycles operations now. The others had various jobs around the Peak. We had abolished the class system and replaced it with an entirely new one. A council comprised of gods, dwellers, and sols now ruled over every settlement, and the Peak was no differed. A dweller man by the name of Ged acted as our Leader of Agriculture, and he supervised dwellers and gods alike in their tasks of planting, harvesting, and caring for the animals. Many gods had migrated from Topia after the balance of power was restored, as the servers had all collapsed moments after Staviti’s death, since his influence no longer bound them together. Even the warrior servers that had been sent into Topia through my portals had collapsed, though not before scaring the whole of Topia and turning everyone against Staviti. It was almost lucky for him that he had died the way he had: hypnotised by the slow, peaceful beauty of the souls in the realm of death—his obsession with controlling death had ended up being the one thing he could not control.

  And in truth, if he had remained in Topia any longer, the other gods would have hunted him down and he would have met an end much more violent.

  I often thought about Staviti as we went about our lives on the Peak, and I thought about him again now as Rome carried me out of the tunnels of the third level and to the mountain stairs, walking past the second level. I could feel the other Abcurses following a short distance behind, trying to hide themselves and be sneaky.