T. S. Eliot the Poems, Volume 2
Page 4
But his grandest creation, as he loves to tell,
20
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
‘I have played’, so he says, ‘every possible part,
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart.
I’d extemporize back-chat, I knew how to gag,
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag.
25
I knew how to act with my back and my tail;
With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail.
I’d a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts,
Whether I took the lead, or in character parts.
I have sat by the bedside of poor Little Nell;
30
When the Curfew was rung, then I swung on the bell.
In the Pantomime season I never fell flat,
And I once understudied Dick Whittington’s Cat.
But my grandest creation, as history will tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.’
[Commentary II 69–70 · Textual History II 635]
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Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin,
He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne.
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat,
When some actor suggested the need for a cat.
He once played a Tiger—could do it again—
40
Which an Indian Colonel pursued down a drain.
And he thinks that he still can, much better than most,
Produce blood-curdling noises to bring on the Ghost.
And he once crossed the stage on a telegraph wire,
To rescue a child when a house was on fire.
45
And he says: ‘Now, these kittens, they do not get trained
As we did in the days when Victoria reigned.
They never get drilled in a regular troupe,
And they think they are smart, just to jump through a hoop.’
And he’ll say, as he scratches himself with his claws,
50
‘Well, the Theatre’s certainly not what it was.
These modern productions are all very well,
But there’s nothing to equal, from what I hear tell,
That moment of mystery
When I made history
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As Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.’
[Commentary II 70–71 · Textual History II 636]
Bustopher Jones: The Cat about Town
Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones—
In fact, he’s remarkably fat.
He doesn’t haunt pubs—he has eight or nine clubs,
For he’s the St. James’s Street Cat!
5
He’s the Cat we all greet as he walks down the street
In his coat of fastidious black:
No commonplace mousers have such well-cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back.
In the whole of St. James’s the smartest of names is
10
The name of this Brummell of Cats;
And we’re all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats!
His visits are occasional to the Senior Educational
And it is against the rules
15
For any one Cat to belong both to that
And the Joint Superior Schools.
For a similar reason, when game is in season
He is found, not at Fox’s, but Blimp’s;
But he’s frequently seen at the gay Stage and Screen
20
Which is famous for winkles and shrimps.
In the season of venison he gives his ben’son
To the Pothunter’s succulent bones;
And just before noon’s not a moment too soon
To drop in for a drink at the Drones.
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When he’s seen in a hurry there’s probably curry
At the Siamese—or at the Glutton;
If he looks full of gloom then he’s lunched at the Tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton.
<
[Commentary II 71–72 · Textual History II 636–37]
So, much in this way, passes Bustopher’s day—
30
At one club or another he’s found.
It can cause no surprise that under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round.
He’s a twenty-five pounder, or I am a bounder,
And he’s putting on weight every day:
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But he’s so well preserved because he’s observed
All his life a routine, so he’ll say.
And (to put it in rhyme) ‘I shall last out my time’
Is the word of this stoutest of Cats.
It must and it shall be Spring in Pall Mall
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While Bustopher Jones wears white spats!
[Commentary II 72 · Textual History II 637]
Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat
There’s a whisper down the line at 11.39
When the Night Mail’s ready to depart,
Saying ‘Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can’t start.’
5
All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster’s daughters
They are searching high and low,
Saying ‘Skimble where is Skimble for unless he’s very nimble
Then the Night Mail just can’t go.’
At 11.42 then the signal’s nearly due
10
And the passengers are frantic to a man—
Then Skimble will appear and he’ll saunter to the rear:
He’s been busy in the luggage van!
He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes
And the signal goes ‘All Clear!’
15
And we’re off at last for the northern part
Of the Northern Hemisphere!
You may say that by and large it is Skimble who’s in charge
Of the Sleeping Car Express.
From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards
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He will supervise them all, more or less.
Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces
Of the travellers in the First and in the Third;
He establishes control by a regular patrol
And he’d know at once if anything occurred.
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He will watch you without winking and he sees what you are thinking
And it’s certain that he doesn’t approve
Of hilarity and riot, so the folk are very quiet
When Skimble is about and on the move.
You can play no pranks with Skimbleshanks!
30
He’s a Cat that cannot be ignored;
So nothing goes wrong on the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks is aboard.
[Commentary II 72–74 · Textual History II 637]
Oh it’s very pleasant when you have found your little den
With your name written up on the door.
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And the berth is very neat with a newly folded sheet
And there’s not a speck of dust on the floor.
There is every sort of light—you can make it dark or bright;
There’s a button that you turn to make a breeze.
There’s a funny little basin you’re supposed to wash your face in
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And a crank to shut the window if you sneeze.
Then the guard looks in politely and will ask you very brightly
‘Do you like your morning tea weak or strong?’
But Skimble’s just behind him and was ready to remind him,
For Skimble won’t let anything go wrong.
45
And when you creep into yo
ur cosy berth
And pull up the counterpane,
You are bound to admit that it’s very nice
To know that you won’t be bothered by mice—
You can leave all that to the Railway Cat,
50
The Cat of the Railway Train!
In the middle of the night he is always fresh and bright;
Every now and then he has a cup of tea
With perhaps a drop of Scotch while he’s keeping on the watch,
Only stopping here and there to catch a flea.
55
You were fast asleep at Crewe and so you never knew
That he was walking up and down the station;
You were sleeping all the while he was busy at Carlisle,
Where he greets the stationmaster with elation.
But you saw him at Dumfries, where he summons the police
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If there’s anything they ought to know about:
[Commentary II 74 · Textual History II 638]
When you get to Gallowgate there you do not have to wait—
For Skimbleshanks will help you to get out!
He gives you a wave of his long brown tail
Which says: ‘I’ll see you again!
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You’ll meet without fail on the Midnight Mail
The Cat of the Railway Train.’
[Commentary II 74 · Textual History II 638–39]
The Ad-dressing of Cats
You’ve read of several kinds of Cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand their character.
5
You now have learned enough to see
That Cats are much like you and me
And other people whom we find
Possessed of various types of mind.
For some are sane and some are mad
10
And some are good and some are bad
And some are better, some are worse—
But all may be described in verse.
You’ve seen them both at work and games,
And learnt about their proper names,
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Their habits and their habitat:
But
How would you ad-dress a Cat?
So first, your memory I’ll jog,
And say: A CAT IS NOT A DOG.
20
Now Dogs pretend they like to fight;
They often bark, more seldom bite;
But yet a Dog is, on the whole,
What you would call a simple soul.
Of course I’m not including Pekes,
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And such fantastic canine freaks.
The usual Dog about the Town
Is much inclined to play the clown,
And far from showing too much pride
Is frequently undignified.
[Commentary II 74 · Textual History II 639]
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He’s very easily taken in—
Just chuck him underneath the chin
Or slap his back or shake his paw,
And he will gambol and guffaw.
He’s such an easy-going lout,
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He’ll answer any hail or shout.
Again I must remind you that
A Dog’s a Dog—A CAT’S A CAT.
With Cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don’t speak till you are spoken to.
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Myself, I do not hold with that—
I say, you should ad-dress a Cat.
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
I bow, and taking off my hat,
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Ad-dress him in this form: O CAT!
But if he is the Cat next door,
Whom I have often met before
(He comes to see me in my flat)
I greet him with an OOPSA CAT!
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I’ve heard them call him James Buz-James—
But we’ve not got so far as names.
Before a Cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
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Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now and then supply
Some caviare, or Strassburg Pie,
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste—
He’s sure to have his personal taste.
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(I know a Cat, who makes a habit
Of eating nothing else but rabbit,
[Commentary II 74 · Textual History II 639]
And when he’s finished, licks his paws
So’s not to waste the onion sauce.)
A Cat’s entitled to expect
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These evidences of respect.
And so in time you reach your aim,
And finally call him by his NAME.
So this is this, and that is that:
And there’s how you AD-DRESS A CAT.
[Commentary II 74 · Textual History II 639]
Cat Morgan Introduces Himself
I once was a Pirate what sailed the ’igh seas—
But now I’ve retired as a com-mission-aire:
And that’s how you find me a-takin’ my ease
And keepin’ the door in a Bloomsbury Square.
5
I’m partial to partridges, likewise to grouse,
And I favour that Devonshire cream in a bowl;
But I’m allus content with a drink on the ’ouse
And a bit o’ cold fish when I done me patrol.
I ain’t got much polish, me manners is gruff,
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But I’ve got a good coat, and I keep meself smart;
And everyone says, and I guess that’s enough:
‘You can’t but like Morgan, ’e’s got a kind ’art.’
I got knocked about on the Barbary Coast,
And me voice it ain’t no sich melliferous horgan;
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But yet I can state, and I’m not one to boast,
That some of the gals is dead keen on old Morgan.
So if you ’ave business with Faber—or Faber—
I’ll give you this tip, and it’s worth a lot more:
You’ll save yourself time, and you’ll spare yourself labour
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If jist you make friends with the Cat at the door.
MORGAN.
[Commentary II 75–77 · Textual History II 639–41]
Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats: Commentary
1. Possum 2. Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats 3. Composition 4. Broadcasts 5. Publication 6. With and Without Illustrations 7. TSE’s Recording 8. Apropos of Practical Cats by Valerie Eliot
1. POSSUM
OED: “To play possum: to feign, dissemble; to pretend illness: in allusion to the opossum’s habit of feigning death when threatened or attacked · · · (orig. U.S.)”, from 1822. (L. possum = I am able to.)
Writing to Father Martingale on 30 Jan 1930, TSE claimed to have been “nourished in my childhood on the Natural History of the Revd. Mr. Wood”. Wood published many such books for different readerships. The Illustrated Natural History (2 vols, 1872) on the Opossum:
It is a voracious and destructive animal, prowling about during the hours of darkness, and prying into every nook and corner · · · Although it is such an adept at “’possuming,” or feigning death, it does not put this ruse into practice until it has used every endeavour to elude its pursuers, and finds that it has no possibility of escape. It runs sulkily and sneakingly forward, looking on every side for some convenient shelter, and seizing the first opportunity of slipping under cover · · · there are none so prone to entangle themselves in difficulties as the over-artful. They must needs travel through crooked byeways, instead of following the open road, and so blunder themselves stupidly and sinuously into needless peril, from which their craftiness so
metimes extricates them, it is true, but not without much anxiety and apprehension. When captured it is easily tamed, and falls into the habit of domestication with great ease. It is, however, not very agreeable as a domestic companion, as it is gifted with a powerful and very unpleasant odour.
TSE to Pound, 19 July 1922, while planning the Criterion: “I have decided not to put any manifestoe in the 1st number, but adopt a protective colour for a time until suspicion is lulled. What do you think of ‘The Possum’ for a title?” In 1928: “I have made bold to unite these occasional essays · · · to refute any accusation of playing ’possum. The general point of view may be described as classicist in literature, royalist in politics, and anglo-catholic in religion”, For Lancelot Andrewes, Preface. A letter to Dorothy Pound dated 11 Aug [1925] is perhaps the earliest to be signed “Possum”, which was the signature also to TSE’s letter in NEW 14 June 1934, headed The Use of Poetry and ending “I am going to set round the chimbly and have a chaw terbacker with Miss Meadows and the gals; and then I am going away for a 4tnight where that old Rabbit can’t reach me with his letters nor even with his post cards. I am, dear Sir, Your outraged, POSSUM”. “I confess that I cannot see why we should take such pains to produce a race of men, millennia hence, who will only look down upon us as apes, lemurs or opossums”, Literature and the Modern World (1935).
Levy 29 reports TSE as saying “It was Ezra Pound, you know, who dubbed me ‘Old Possum’.” TSE: “‘Possum’ is a nickname given me by Ezra Pound with reference to Brere Possum in The Stories of Uncle Remus” (by Joel Chandler Harris), Northrop Frye corrigenda (1963). The Uncle Remus stories were adapted for the stage as Brer Rabbit by Mabel Dearmer, with music by Martin Shaw (who later composed the music for The Rock), and performed at the Little Theatre in 1914 and again in Liverpool in 1915–16 (Shaw archive). TSE of Booker T. Washington: “an interview from Booker T. | Entitled ‘Up from Possum Stew!’ | Or ‘How I set the nigger free!’”, Ballade pour la grosse Lulu 10–12. To Polly Tandy, 23 Dec 1941: “I read Uncle Remus aloud here: a bit rusty with the lingo I am, but it sounds allright to those who have never heard the real thing.” In addition to Old Possum, other forms appear in letters and inscriptions, such as “T. P.” (Tom Possum) and the punning “O. Possum”.