If You Could Go Anywhere

by Paige Toon

  ‘And how exactly do you think someone who is scared of heights will cope in a hot air balloon?’ I ask wryly.

  ‘We have almost twelve months to work on that,’ he replies. ‘I thought we could go there next year on the fourteenth of August.’

  My heart melts. He wants to mark the next anniversary of Carlotta’s death with me? How can I not kiss him for that?

  A phone is ringing somewhere nearby.

  ‘That’s yours, Angel,’ he says, smiling against my lips.

  ‘Oh!’

  He reaches past me to grab his rucksack, holding it while I retrieve the device.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Angie, love, it’s Bonnie.’

  ‘Bonnie! You would not believe where I am right now!’

  ‘I’m afraid I have some bad news, darling.’

  My heart stops.

  ‘Jimmy’s gone, sweetie. He passed away in the early hours of this morning.’

  Chapter 49

  Alessandro comes home with me to Australia. We manage to change my flight, staying one night in Adelaide with Louise to break up the journey before hiring a car and driving the nine hours up to Coober Pedy.

  My friend told me very matter-of-factly that she was reserving judgement about my ‘new man’, knowing what she knew about him, but she’d come round by the time we said our tearful goodbyes – tearful because she knew how much Jimmy meant to me.

  Jimmy’s funeral is the day after tomorrow so it was a rush getting out of Stavanger – an unhappy end to what had been a life-affirming stay.

  But despite the tragic circumstances that have brought me back to Australia a week early, I’m glad to be able to show Alessandro where I grew up.

  ‘It really is like Tattooine,’ he says with astonishment when we drive into Coober Pedy.

  We pull up in front of the wire fence that was a necessary evil for keeping Nan safe from wandering off and falling down a mineshaft.

  To my surprise and delight, the garden is still thriving.

  Alessandro looks around curiously as we walk up to the front door. I knock loudly.

  A minute or so passes before Aada answers.

  ‘Angie!’ she exclaims. ‘It’s so good to see you again! I’m so sorry about Jimmy.’

  Aada and Onni have been living in my dugout since I left. Things have been a bit tight for them and they were being threatened with eviction, so it made sense for them to move in while I was away. Hopefully Onni’s luck will look up soon. That’s the thing with mining: it’s completely unpredictable. He could find a million dollars’ worth of opals tomorrow.

  ‘This is Alessandro.’ I introduce them, the sound of a screen door stealing my attention away. I look over to see Bonnie coming outside.

  ‘Angie!’ she cries.

  I run to give her a hug.

  *

  The funeral dredges up a lot of memories of my grandfather’s service – his and Jimmy’s old mining buddies all attend – but it helps having Alessandro there to hold my hand.

  He seems so solid mentally, as though my grief is giving him strength to help carry me through.

  The wake is being held at the pub and Alessandro stands and stares with wonder at the dozens of postcards, mostly of Italy, stuck to the wall.

  ‘You sent all these?’ he asks me.

  I nod. My friends must’ve put them up here for everyone to see.

  Bonnie wanders over and slips her arm around my waist. ‘This is my favourite.’ She points at the beautiful big fountain set within an Italian Renaissance garden.

  ‘Villa D’Este,’ I say. ‘Alessandro grew up nearby.’ I glance at her. ‘I keep meaning to tell you this: remember how the kids at school used to think Jimmy was my dad because we had the same frizzy hair?’

  She nods. ‘Your nan cut it all off so they’d stop harassing you.’

  ‘Was that why she did it?’ I ask. Bloody hell. And instead I ended up getting teased because I looked like a boy!

  She smiles. ‘You were determined to grow it again anyway. You liked Jimmy’s hair.’

  ‘I did,’ I agree with a sad smile.

  ‘Why do you bring it up?’ she asks, reminding me that I had a point to make.

  ‘When I went to Tivoli for the first time to meet Alessandro’s family,’ I squeeze his hand as I say this, ‘Serafina, my grandmother, was amazed. I have the same frizzy, curly hair as my cousin Valentina! She herself had the same hairstyle when she was younger. I’d always wondered where I got it from. Of course, their hair is dark and mine is light. I still have no idea which of my ancestors was blond.’

  Bonnie looks at me with surprise. ‘But, darling,’ she says, ‘didn’t you know that you take after your nan?’

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Your nan had exactly the same shade of hair as you. She was blond as well.’

  I stare at her. I’ve only ever seen black-and-white photos of Nan from when she was younger.

  ‘You take after both of your grandmothers,’ Alessandro states.

  This day is already emotional enough, but that’s just about the end of me.

  *

  We stay in Coober Pedy for a couple of weeks because there’s so much to sort out and so many people to catch up with. I think Alessandro enjoys meeting my friends – he’s a different guy to the person he was in Rome. His aloofness has been replaced by a warm kindness and a light-hearted sense of humour. My friends are fans.

  Jimmy has left everything to me on one condition: that his dugout goes up for sale without delay. I think he was worried that I’d let his place out for free, as I’ve done with Nan’s. He wants me to use the money to go travelling and also to buy myself somewhere to live someday, if I’d like to.

  He had a substantial opal stash, including some very precious black opals that he mined in Andamooka many years ago. I don’t know why he never used his money to go anywhere. Maybe his heart has just always belonged here on Antakirinja Matu-Yankunytjatjara land.

  *

  Aada and Onni will continue to live in my grandparents’ dugout until Onni gets his big win and can afford to buy it from me. I’m leaving the furniture for them, but I’m taking some of my personal possessions – my photo albums, a few books that I can’t part with, the rest of my postcards and Nan’s jewellery, including her and Grandad’s wedding rings. I’m also arranging for my piano to be shipped to Italy. It’s not particularly valuable and I could easily buy a new one, but it belonged to Grandad and I’d like to have something to remember him by.

  My final farewell is not meant to be a final farewell, but it feels like it. It may be years before I return. Maybe my friends will see me in Italy or somewhere else first. We certainly have enough people to drop in on when we’re driving through Europe: all those travellers who went home again, and of course the families of the other settlers who are still tied to Coober Pedy.

  ‘Will you be okay?’ I ask Bonnie as we say goodbye.

  ‘I’ll be fine, love. Mick is making noises about retiring, believe it or not. Maybe we’ll finally get around to booking that round-the-world cruise.’

  ‘Just make sure you hop off in Italy.’

  ‘Oh, we will,’ she promises. ‘Now, what about you two? Have you decided where you’re off to first?’

  ‘The Great Barrier Reef,’ I reply, smiling at Alessandro.

  Australia is one of the few places he hasn’t explored and it seems only right that I should see some of my own country before heading to Europe for who knows how long. It’s exactly what Mum did all those years ago.

  We’ve brought Giulio up to date over the phone, and Frida is safe in storage in Norway where we left her, so there’s no need to rush back.

  We have only one deadline to work towards and I’m determined to make it. . .

  Chapter 50

  We roll into Tivoli on a wet and windy Christmas Eve, almost four months after Jimmy’s funeral. We’re really cutting it close – we had some trouble driving through the Alps with the recent snowstorms so we did
n’t tell anyone we were coming because we weren’t sure we’d make it.

  I don’t know if he heard Frida – it’s hard not to – but Giulio is outside when we pull up. His mouth drops open and he shouts out, although I have no idea what he says.

  Before I get out of the van, I place the pink bunny that once belonged to my small half-sister on the dashboard. I like to imagine her sitting there and watching the world go by. It came as no surprise to discover that her name is Frida.

  The whole household is outside when Alessandro reaches my side of the van. He gives me a slightly pensive smile as I take his hand.

  ‘It’s time to let them love you,’ I whisper.

  He nods, his eyes shining.

  Serafina gets to us first.

  ‘You brought him home for Christmas!’ our grandmother cries at me as she grabs Alessandro with one hand and me with the other. When she finally lets us go, tears are streaming down her cheeks.

  I turn to Giulio. ‘Hello, Papà,’ I say with a cheeky grin.

  ‘Mio angelo,’ he utters, grabbing Alessandro and me simultaneously, and then we’re pulled away and separated from each other as we say hello to everyone else. The whole family is here, including Francesca and Pepe with their newborn baby boy. We are completely and utterly surrounded – by family, by friends, and most of all, by love.

  Epilogue

  We live in Alessandro’s grandparents’ house by the river in Tivoli. It had been sitting empty for years, steadily falling into disrepair because Alessandro couldn’t bear to sell it, nor stay in it. I wasn’t aware that his grandparents had left it to him, but that’s Alessandro. I’m sure he will continue to surprise me.

  Just as he says I continue to surprise him.

  Together we decided to do up the house and it has been a labour of love for both of us. We’ve worked hard since Christmas, but now we can finally enjoy the fruits of our labours and we adore living in the countryside, even if it does mean a commute to Serafina’s for Alessandro on the days that he’s working.

  As for me, I’ve taken up residence in Nonna’s country kitchen, helping her to make pasta and pickles and all the things Serafina’s is famous for. I also milk Valentina’s beloved goats when she’s at university and feed Jacopo’s poor doomed pigs now that he’s moved to the city. He’s currently renting Cristina’s apartment and looking after it while she’s in Chamonix with Lindsey. She decided to take a year out to see if she wants to make a life for herself in the mountains and so far she’s loving it – it’s heart-warming to see.

  Stefano is himself, still working at Serafina’s and still going to auditions. He was cast in a men’s haircare advert recently and it makes me smile whenever it comes on the telly, seeing his glistening, shiny locks. He didn’t get the part in the soap opera, but I have no doubt he’ll make it one day.

  As for Papà, despite his initial reser vations, he’s now absolutely delighted that Alessandro and I are a couple. He encourages us to take regular breaks from work to go travelling, but he’s glad when we stay in touch and send him the occasional postcard. Alessandro has reassured him that he’ll never again disappear for months on end with no word.

  Therapy has helped Alessandro to see that his poor teenage self deserves forgiveness, but it will probably be a long time before he feels truly at peace, if ever.

  He didn’t want to burden Giulio or Serafina with the whole truth, dark and twisted as it is, but he has explained that he’s been carrying a debilitating guilt over the deaths of his mother and sister and has on occasion felt the need to punish himself for it.

  Giulio and Serafina were heartbroken to hear this and have showered him with love ever since.

  Life is good, but sometimes Alessandro and I just want to get away from our crazy, noisy, and sometimes annoyingly interfering family, and that’s when Frida comes in handy. We’ll hop into her and drive and drive and drive, not always knowing where we want to go, but always happy to be on the lookout for our next adventure.

  My Italian citizenship has been granted – what a celebration we had when that came through! – and it has made travelling through Europe incredibly easy. So far, we’ve been to France to see Cristina in the snow, southern Spain for some winter sunshine and, of course, all over Italy. We’d also like to visit Logan and Lea in California one day – they were thrilled to hear that we’re finally more than friends.

  But right now we’re in Turkey, gliding over the Göreme National Park in a hot air balloon. It is the anniversary of Carlotta’s death today and Alessandro wanted to do something significant. This year, together, we are flying instead of falling.

  Down below is the most magical, fantastical landscape of rock formations that I have ever seen.

  I couldn’t do this with anyone else, but Alessandro centres me, just as I seem to centre him.

  He’s holding me tightly from behind, his hands clasped around my waist. He whispers something in Italian and I wonder if it’s a prayer.

  I carefully turn around to face him, brushing the tears from his beautiful eyes. ‘What did you say?’

  ‘Riposa bene sorellina. Anche te Mamma,’ he whispers. ‘It means: rest well, little sister. And you, Mamma.’

  ‘Rest in peace,’ I whisper in turn, and I’m not only thinking of Carlotta and Marta now, but Nan and Grandad too.

  He cups my face and kisses me. My head spins, but I don’t want him to stop.

  I’m not sure I’ll ever be at ease climbing mountains or soaring into the skies, and Alessandro will probably never be at his happiest when he’s on low, level ground, but he loves me and I love him and the world is our oyster.

  We can go anywhere now. Anywhere at all.

  We plan to go there together.

  Acknowledgements

  Firstly, my lovely readers, thank you for coming on this journey with me – I hope you enjoyed Angie and Alessandro’s story! If, like me, you find it hard to let them go, sign up to #TheHiddenPaige at paigetoon.com, as I plan to write a short story for them at some point to see what they’re up to. . .

  Thank you to everyone at Simon & Schuster for the stellar work that they do, but especially my amazing editor, Suzanne Baboneau, Rebecca Farrell, Jess Barratt, Sara Jade Virtue, Dominic Brendon, Hayley McMullan, Richard Vlietstra, Joe Roche, Justine Gold, Rachel Stewardson, Danielle Wilson, Maddie Allan and, last but definitely not least, Pip Watkins for her stunning cover design.

  Thanks also to my copy-editor, Anne O’Brien, and Dawn Burnett for everything she’s done for me over the years – I’ll never forget her dressing as an air stewardess for the Lucy in the Sky launch party!

  Thank you to everyone at Penguin Random House ANZ, but especially the awesome Ali Watts, Emily Cook and Rosie Pearce. Also, Louisa Maggio for the beautiful ANZ cover design.

  Immense gratitude also to Kimberley Atkins who very kindly read an early draft of this book and gave me such helpful feedback. Ditto some other lovely friends, Jane Hampton, Katherine Reid and Katherine Stalham. I owe you all alcohol!

  Thank you to my best author buddies who are a great support in more ways than one, especially Lucy Branch, Ali Harris, Dani Atkins, Lindsey Kelk and Giovanna Fletcher.

  Grazie mille to my old pal Giulia Cassini for her boundless help with all things Italian – it’s been a long time since she helped me with swear words for Chasing Daisy and it warms my heart to know that she’s still here for me now.

  A big cheers to Nick Troisi from Umoona Opal Mine & Museum in Coober Pedy who answered my many random questions and helped bring Angie’s surroundings to life. I’d just like to say that Nick didn’t share any stories (nor did I ask him to) about real people in Coober Pedy – similarities have occurred with my books and real life in the past, so if that happens to be the case here, it is one hundred per cent coincidental!

  Thank you very much to Wendy Dunn from Alzheimer’s Society (alzheimers.org.uk) for all of her help with my Alzheimer’s research – it is enormously appreciated – and also Eric Magut, a base jumper from
Germany who kindly answered my questions when I accosted him in Lysebotn, Norway, whilst on a research trip.

  Thanks to my parents, Jen and Vern Schuppan, and my parents-in-law, Helga and Ian Toon, who all helped me pull this cat out of the bag in one way or another.

  Finally, thank you to my gorgeous family: my children, Indy and Idha, and my husband, Greg, who probably helped me with this book more than everyone else all put together. I’d be lost without you. Quite literally.

  Have you read the irresistible short story collection from Sunday Times bestselling author Paige Toon . . .

  One year after movie star Joseph Strike swept schoolteacher Alice off her feet, they are spending Christmas together in snowy Cambridge. But despite the romantic setting, Alice can’t help but question whether life in the spotlight is really what she wants. Will a Christmas wedding provide some perspective? Or will the life she’d be leaving behind be too much to lose?

  In this irresistible collection, bestselling author Paige Toon reunites a much-loved cast from across her fifteen novels, including Johnny Be Good, The One We Fell in Love With and Thirteen Weddings. Fall in love with nine witty and heartfelt romantic stories, published in print for the very first time.

  AVAILABLE NOW IN PAPERBACK AND EBOOK

  Also by Paige Toon

  Lucy in the Sky

  Johnny Be Good

  Chasing Daisy

  Pictures of Lily

  Baby Be Mine

  One Perfect Summer

  One Perfect Christmas (eBook short story)

  The Longest Holiday

  Johnny’s Girl (eBook short story)

  Thirteen Weddings

  The Sun in Her Eyes

  The One We Fell in Love With