Rocking Thin Ice

by Z. Allora

  Blaze cleared his throat, hoping the kitchen help heard the “Shut the hell up” he infused in his cough as he set the cupcakes down on the window seat. He pulled out a dining chair for Anna. “Yes, and we decided, instead of flying, to go on a road trip. It should be fun.”

  “Again, I don’t understand. You on a road trip to a wedding?” Anna sat at the dining room table.

  Sitting across from her, he smacked his hand on the table. “Why is this so hard to imagine?”

  She scrunched her face. “You don’t like long car rides, weddings, or—”

  “I’m expanding my horizons.” While that was true in the past, it had been years, and with Drake he loved doing just about everything.

  “What about your training?” Mother Hen Anna morphed into Coach Anna the Strict with breakneck speed. “To get ready for next season’s competitions, you’ve got—”

  “I’ve got a list of rinks on the way, and I’ve already booked ice time at the first stop.”

  “When will you be back?”

  That was a good question and one he didn’t want the answer to yet, because what then? Would they stay boyfriends? Not that he wanted—oh, fuck me sideways! Who was he kidding? He did… shoving aside the impossible—maybe they should simply fuck and then they could move on. It had always been easy before to hit and then quit.

  He rubbed a hand over his heart, hoping to quiet the ache. “Not sure. Sometime after the wedding.”

  Drake and Luke carried in plates of shrimp and vegetables. Luke set the serving dish down and said, “Dinner is served.”

  “I want to know more about this road trip.” Anna spooned more broccoli onto Blaze’s plate.

  Blaze bit his tongue, partly because, as usual, she was right… again. He needed more green vegetables. “What do you want to know?”

  “You guys said you’d be breaking the trip up with some side trips. Where are you going to go?” Luke added shrimp to his dish.

  “Here’s our proposed route.” Drake handed Luke his cell phone with their plotted course, thanks to Google Maps, and Luke then passed it to Anna for her to glare at the screen.

  “We’ll be doing longer drives spaced between activities. If we go the Nebraska route, we’ll probably hit Omaha for the Henry Doorly Zoo.”

  “The zoo even has an aquarium and desert dome.” Blaze had never gone to a zoo before.

  “And if there’s time, the Joslyn Art Museum.” Drake grinned at him.

  Excitement raced through him about the upcoming adventure. “In Iowa, there’s the Grotto of the Redemption.”

  “The what?”

  “The Grotto of the Redemption, which is a shrine that took forty-two years to build. Father Dobberstein devoted his life to its creation because he promised if he survived an illness, that’s what he would do.”

  Blaze grabbed Drake’s hand and kissed it. “And the Lost Island Waterpark.”

  “A water park?” Luke arched his eyebrow at Blaze. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

  “Ha-ha. I’ve never been to a water park.” Blaze shrugged and tried to rise above the memories of fearing the other kids laughing at his skinny body.

  Luke looked at the ceiling and shook his head. “That’s ’cause you refused to take time off of the ice.”

  “Granted, but now it’s time I live life a little, don’t you think? I should see something beyond the ice rinks.”

  Anna frowned at Drake like this was all his fault.

  Ice trotted up the steps into Luke’s dining room. Without acknowledging any of them, he beelined to the bowls that Luke kept for him. He munched on some dry kibble and drank some water.

  “What about Ice?” Anna acted like the road trip meant his puppy would have to be put down.

  “The little nipper will stay with me like he does when Blaze goes on an overseas competition. We’ll have a great time together.” Luke smiled over at Ice.

  “Ha, you just want him as your wingman at the dog park,” Blaze pointed out.

  “While Ice is a chick magnet, that doesn’t mean we won’t have fun together.” Ice walked over and curled himself around Luke’s feet.

  “Ice will be fine,” Blaze concluded as he gestured to his dog, who now tenderly gnawed on Luke’s pants cuff.

  “Tell us more about the trip,” Luke invited and then continued eating.

  Not noticing the daggers of ice Anna was throwing at him, Drake stopped giving Blaze that dreamy-eyed look and sighed with a smile. “When we get to Chicago, we’re planning on a couple of days to hit the Magnificent Mile, the Art Institute, and Navy Pier.”

  Luke swallowed and nodded. “Good choices.”

  Drake continued, “Indiana and Ohio are up in the air in terms of activities, but in Pennsylvania we’re definitely doing Philadelphia.”

  Anna stopped glaring and said, “Beautiful city. What parts?”

  “The historical section with the Liberty Bell, South Street, and of course we’ve got to race up the Rocky Stairs to the Philly Museum of Art and see the Science Museum.”

  Anna folded her arms and asked, “How will you book the hotels?”

  “Through the HotelTonight app—”

  Before anything came out of Luke’s open mouth, most likely giving voice to the worry written all over his face, Blaze chimed in, “We’ll also be checking each choice with review sites so we don’t stay in a murder-bedbug sanctuary.”

  “Good.” Anna huffed out a breath of air and slowly unfolded her arms.

  Luke shrugged. “That’s very road trippy and flexible of you, Blaze.”

  “It is.” He smirked. Blaze was pretty impressed with himself that he would really be doing this. He was going to do something other than skate.

  “He’s very bendy.” Drake grabbed his hand and kissed the knuckles.

  Blaze snorted along with Luke, while Anna gave Drake the stink eye.

  “Make sure he stays that way.” Anna scowled.

  Blaze and Luke laughed harder while Drake let the curtain of his hair fall to cover his blush. “I will.”

  “How did you cook the shrimp?” Anna asked.

  Relief swamped Blaze when the conversation changed directions. Sometimes, contemplating the road trip too long made him irrationally sad. Maybe because it highlighted the obvious expiration date on him and Drake. It caused too many questions to circle. The biggest being how could their relationship work?

  Pushing away his melancholy, he dug into his food. And he focused on pressing his leg against his boyfriend’s…. It had been less than a week since he accepted the boyfriend title, but the idea no longer felt like a foreign concept and didn’t strike terror. The title made him happy.

  After the delicious cupcakes Anna had made and tea, she hugged Blaze and told him, “Be well. Have fun. Email me which rinks you’ll be at and the times.”

  Blaze rolled his eyes. “Why, so you can have your friends spy on me?”

  “Absolutely. I don’t want you to reinforce mistakes we fixed.” Anna stated her intentions without an ounce of guilt.

  There was no arguing with her, so he hugged her again and promised, “I’ll send you the list.”

  “And you.” She stabbed a finger at Drake. “You make sure he’s safe and happy.”

  “Will do.” Drake almost saluted, but her frown seemed to force him to drop his hand before it touched his forehead.

  She pushed a piece of paper into Drake’s hand and then pulled him into a hug. “Make sure he has fun, but call me if he’s favoring either of his ankles.”

  After the door shut, Drake whispered to Blaze, “I’m afraid I will rat you out. I’d be scared not to.”

  Blaze snorted.

  THIS WAS their third day on the road. How was Drake still asleep? Blaze ran three miles, took a shower, and dried his hair with a noisy hairdryer. He even chatted with Luke and Ice on Skype. Pacing right next to the bed didn’t help, so he cleared his throat, and then he even coughed, but nothing worked.

  Drake turned onto
his stomach and continued to sleep.

  Blaze opened the motel curtains. “Time to get up.”

  Nothing.

  Running out of patience with subtleties, he bounced on top of Drake and then settled right on his boyfriend’s ass.

  Instead of rolling over or pushing him off, Drake wiggled his ass back against Blaze’s jeans-covered dick in the most enticing way possible. He moaned, “Well, this is a good morning.”

  Fear skittered through Blaze’s belly. The contradiction of not doing what they both wanted played with his mind.

  He jumped off Drake and grasped at straws. “Zoo’s going to open in an hour.”

  “Plenty of time.” Drake arched his back and grinned over his shoulder at Blaze. Whatever he saw on Blaze’s face made the sexy grin morph into a sad but resigned smile. He shifted and leaned toward Blaze’s cheek with a kiss. “Let me just get myself together, and I’ll be ready to go in five minutes.”

  Stupid relief flooded Blaze. The avoidance was becoming pathological. Shit, clearly Drake was more than up for it. Not wanting to think about the whys, he started yammering. “I packed us up so after the zoo we can continue driving.”

  Drake put paste on his toothbrush. “Great.”

  Since Drake had showered last night, he was good to his word, and they were in the car, heading to the Henry Doorly Zoo in five minutes.

  “Dare we go through another drive-through this morning?” Drake asked, as if he didn’t know the answer.

  “Yes! I want to try another one of those muffins with egg in it.”

  “Your wish is my command.”

  Happiness skittered through Blaze. Not the first time Drake said those words to him, but he liked that Drake really cared about what he wanted. He felt the same way.

  Once Drake parked in the zoo lot, Blaze was out of the car and dragging him toward the entrance.

  Drake chuckled. “Anxious to cross another thing off your list?”

  As long as it didn’t involve fucking Drake, the answer was “Of course. So, um… did you go to zoos growing up?”

  “My mom was strictly against animals in captivity, but my dad believed animal ambassadors who were kept as free range as possible helped promote conservation and education. So he took me to one or two of them.”

  As they approached the admission booth, Blaze pulled out his wallet. “My turn.”

  “Thanks.”

  They had an understanding and simply took turns. There were no macho fights about money. Blaze appreciated the ease between them… on so many things. After he paid, he asked, “Where to?”

  Drake gestured to him. “You pick the direction. I’ll follow you.”

  Blaze fussed with the map, but decided to pocket it. He set off down the dirt path lined with plants and trees. When they came to a bridge over a tiny river with a little waterfall, Blaze leaped onto the large rock and hopped over the water from rock to rock.

  “You always do take the most difficult path.” Drake grinned.

  “It’s usually the most rewarding.” Blaze accepted Drake’s hand and jumped back onto the path.

  Drake pulled Blaze into a quick kiss, then mumbled, “Don’t I know it.”

  Blaze gave him an arched brow but didn’t respond further, because who knew where the conversation would end? A sign caught his gaze. “Look, the butterfly pavilion.”

  He let Drake open the first door, and once that barrier to the outside was closed, a sign asked to scan for winged escapees. None were on the run, so Blaze opened the second protective door to a veritable paradise. Colorful fragrant blossoms and flowering bushes were on either side of the path. Lush green foliage almost hid all evidence he had entered a screened cage.

  An orange butterfly with brown spots floated by, followed by a saffron-colored one. A shiny black butterfly with red under its wings danced in the air with brilliant blue butterflies fluttering around. Many were gathering at bowls of fruit soaked in a thick nectar throughout the enclosure.

  Glancing at Drake, he motioned for him to stand still. “You have a friend on your shoulder.”

  Drake looked to his right shoulder, and his face lit with pure delight.

  Blaze snapped a picture.

  At a snail’s pace, Drake reached down and dipped his finger in the nectar. He held the droplet up to his winged friend, who unfurled its tongue to taste.

  “You’re feeding him.” Blaze restrained his squeal.

  The butterfly stepped onto Drake’s finger, and he moved the butterfly toward Blaze.

  Blaze touched the nectar to his finger and held out the drop, hoping to tempt the butterfly.

  Drake gently pressed their hands together, and the butterfly straddled both their fingers and slurped the sweetness. “I got to try to get a picture of this.”

  With one hand, Drake captured their hands touching with a butterfly uniting their fingertips and snapped a picture.

  As the butterfly fluttered away, Blaze continued to hold Drake’s hand and was struck by his overwhelming affection for Drake. The emotion was powerful, wonderful, all-encompassing, and pretty freaking amazing. He interlaced his fingers with Drake’s and hoped he’d never have to let go. “You really are magical.”

  A DAY later, Blaze pulled into the parking lot of the Grotto of the Redemption. Almost an entire city block was taken up by the towers of stones, mounds of rocks, and statues. At the summit stood a big cross with Mary holding a dying Jesus.

  Drake got out of the car and put his hands on his hips. “One man’s devotion built this.”

  Blaze grabbed the pamphlet from the glove compartment and leaned against the car next to Drake. “It says Father Paul Dobberstein was a German immigrant.”

  As they walked to the entrance and the closer they got to the structure, the more the crystals, rocks, and semiprecious stones dazzled in the sunlight.

  “Let me get this one; you can get the next two.” Knowing Drake’s mixed feelings on religion, Blaze gave the eight-dollar requested donation for each of them.

  “Look, the date—1912.” Drake pointed to the cornerstone.

  Blake led them onto a concrete path. They passed the stations of the cross, each lovingly displaying a picture surrounded by rocks and semiprecious stones. “Remember that one YouTube video we watched? It said these rocks came from around the world, arriving by train and carload.”

  “Oh yeah. And Father Dobberstein would close the school so the kids could help unload the trains. Then he would affix each stone to a slab that the parishioners secured in place.”

  “Ignoring the child labor issues, it’s pretty amazing how the entire community seemed involved.”

  Drake took the steps two at a time and gestured to a pond. “This must be where the caretaker said the priest would puff a cigarette, hold the smoke in his lungs while he swam underwater, and then release it after he surfaced in the bathhouse.”

  Blaze chuckled. “Yeah, great exercise, that. Him inhaling another cigarette in the bathhouse, then swimming back out to where he kept his other one.”

  “I can’t even imagine doing that. My lungs hurt from thinking about it.” Drake shook his head and studied the archway that led into one of the nine caves that comprised the grotto before entering.

  Chuckling, Blaze stepped inside after him. “Well, that’s devotion for you.”

  Drake remained silent as he stared at the stained glass window that cast reds, blues, and yellows into the cement floor. When he turned and faced Blaze, the look he wore was filled with too much longing. “You ever want that kind of devotion?”

  Yes! Yes! Yes! His heart pounded like he’d finished doing ten quads, so he focused on the gleaming crystals that formed rosettes, as if geology was his new passion. He cleared his throat. “Well, I mean we both have that—you know, with our fans.”

  Taking a step closer, Drake touched his shoulder. “Blaze….”

  Blaze turned toward him.

  Drake’s expression told Blaze he wasn’t going to let Blaze skate around the question. �
��You know what I mean. Or would you rather I spell it—”

  “No.” Blaze’s voice broke a little. He wanted to get lost in Drake’s mesmerizing blue eyes, but he was in too deep. This man in front of him had single-handedly reprioritized the schedule of his life. Sure, he’d always thought he might find someone to date after he couldn’t compete any longer, but not before. Of course, he didn’t believe in forever or even love… or at least he didn’t before—

  “So do you think you could be devoted to someone who was devoted to you?” Drake pressed him.

  The answer should have been an easy “No fucking way!” But nothing was clear-cut anymore. Especially when a piece of him really wanted…. “Maybe… someday.”

  Drake’s expression erupted into a huge smile. He did a little happy dance. “Yeah, me too.”

  DRAKE TOOK the first leg of the drive out of Dubuque, Iowa, where they’d stayed after driving from the water park, and into Illinois. “Well, it’s day six of our road trip. Chicago is three to four hours from here. Do you—”

  His cell jiggled with a Midnight Shadow tune.

  “Do you want to pull over to get that?” Blaze offered. Earlier that morning, he had seen the band’s apology on social media. He wanted to find a way to bring it up to Drake along with the upcoming tour.

  “Nah, it’s probably just the lawyers contacting me or something.” Drake handed him the cell. “Could you put the thing on silent?”

  “Yeah, but you’ve got a lot of texts.” How could someone ignore all of these texts and calls? What the hell was he thinking?

  “I don’t want to deal with it now.”

  What Drake probably meant is he didn’t want to include Blaze in a discussion about his future plans.

  “But don’t you want to stay in the loop?” Blaze hated himself for grasping at the proverbial straws—in this case guitar picks. There was no way Drake could ignore so many texts, especially not with everything going on with the band. Or maybe he did deal with them but not around Blaze? Clearly he didn’t want Blaze’s thoughts on the situation.

  “That ringtone is Midnight Shadow’s business number. Summer is working with a children’s organization in the Middle East without much cell reception. Amanda and Artano don’t do social media or texting. They started a program to schedule posts on Instagram just to shut Frank, the manager, up. Jessie keeps to herself, and I don’t expect the jackass Dixon to reach out unless it is to stab me again.”