The Anti-Relationship Year

by Katie Wismer

  Addie leaned over and whispered something in Liv’s ear. They exchanged a knowing glance, and Liv covered her mouth with her hand to hide her giggle.

  It was a look Jo was all too familiar with—the quick glances, the hushed voices that were oftentimes just loud enough to hear, and not by accident. To be honest, Addie and Liv weren’t even that good at it. The real skill came in the subtlety. The voices that crawled over your skin. The biting comments with just enough truth to them to burrow in. If Addie and Liv thought this little routine was having any effect, they were going to be sorely disappointed.

  Jo pressed her lips together and tightened her fist around her drink. “Never have I ever kissed a teacher.”

  Then she raised the can and drank.

  The room erupted in squeals and gasps.

  “What!” said Addie.

  “Details!” added Liv.

  Kayleigh grabbed Jo’s arm and gave it a little shake. “Oh my God, pause. We need the full story on this one.”

  Honestly, just thinking about it made Jo feel like she was about to throw up, but she forced a sly smile onto her face and gave an overexaggerated shrug. “I never kiss and tell.”

  “Bullshit!” cried Addie.

  Before the other girls could chime in their objections, there was a faint knock on the door. They all froze and exchanged wide-eyed glances. Jo instinctively hid her drink behind her back.

  “RA?” mouthed Kayleigh.

  Another knock. “It’s Miller!”

  “Oh!” Liv jumped up and threw the door open. Miller waved awkwardly from the hall in black sweatpants and a gray hoodie, his dark hair curling into his eyes.

  “Girls only!” Kayleigh called.

  “Oh, let him in,” said Liv.

  “Yeah, Miller’s not, like, a real boy anyway.” Addie grabbed his sleeve and pulled him inside, kicking the door shut behind him.

  He fell into the spot beside Jo, his knee resting against hers. She grabbed a drink from the middle and handed it to him. “So are you, like, Pinocchio now?”

  He smirked and bumped her shoulder with his. “I’m a real boy!”

  “We’re playing Never Have I Ever,” said Kayleigh. “And Jo was just about to tell us—”

  “It’s Miller’s turn now,” said Jo.

  Miller’s gaze ping-ponged between the two of them. “I have no idea what that means.”

  “You say something you’ve never done,” Jo explained. “And if anyone else has done it, they have to drink.”

  “Like Liv’s snorted cocaine,” said Addie. “And Jo’s made out with her teacher.”

  “I never said made out—”

  Kayleigh grabbed the chip bag from the center of the circle and tore it open. “Give us a good one, Miller.”

  He raised his hands and shook his head helplessly. “I don’t—I —”

  Liv waved her hands impatiently. “He just joined. We’ll go around the circle again so he can see some more examples. So it’s Addie’s turn again.”

  Addie grinned, tossed aside her empty can, and grabbed another from the box in the middle. She hummed as she tapped her nails against the top. “Oh! I have a good one. Never have I ever gone to college as a virgin.” She wiggled her eyebrows and scanned the circle with narrowed eyes.

  Fuck. Jo sighed and took a sip. Her stomach clenched as none of the other girls drank, and a small, satisfied smirk rose to Liv’s lips. But then she realized Miller was doing the same beside her.

  “We have two virgins in here!” Liv leaned forward and pointed a finger at Miller. “You? No offense, but expected. But you?” She swiveled to Jo. “I’m surprised.”

  Jo straightened a bit, refusing to crumble under her gaze.

  “Not, like, in a bad way,” Kayleigh jumped in.

  “No,” agreed Addie.

  “Why haven’t you?” Liv asked, now moving onto her third drink. Between her and Addie, they were already down one box, and they’d only started drinking half an hour ago. Judging by Liv’s slurring words, she and Addie may have started before they’d gotten here.

  Addie scrunched up her face. “Is it a Jesus thing?” She turned to Miller. “Jesus thing?”

  “Not a Jesus thing,” said Miller.

  “Oh leave them alone.” Kayleigh hopped up to toss her can in the trash and paused to collect Addie and Liv’s that were scattered along the ground. “I think it’s sweet.”

  “Well Jo has that band guy now,” said Liv. “So it probably won’t be for much longer.”

  Jo rolled her eyes. “I don’t have anyone. I agreed to one date.”

  Addie and Liv smirked at each other.

  “He’s totally going to try to get in your pants,” said Liv.

  “Totally,” agreed Addie.

  “Wait.” Liv leaned forward. “Are you like a virgin, virgin? Or just like a haven’t-gone-all-the-way virgin?”

  Jo stared at her blankly. “I have no idea what that means.”

  “Oh my God!” Kayleigh collapsed beside Jo and threw her arms over Jo’s shoulders. “Leave my virgin roommate alone!”

  “We should make that her nickname,” murmured Addie.

  “Totally nickname worthy,” Liv agreed.

  “You are not calling me the virgin roommate,” Jo deadpanned. “Also, what about Miller? Doesn’t he get a nickname?”

  Addie and Liv exchanged another glance.

  “The virgin hall mate?” Addie suggested.

  “Virgin boy?” said Liv.

  Miller cleared his throat. “Yeah, I think I’ll pass on the nickname too.”

  Liv waved her finger between them. “Y’all should just fuck. Two birds with one stone and all that.”

  “Oh my God!” Kayleigh threw her arms up. “Okay, moving on. I’m going.”

  Another few rounds through the circle and a second empty box of Lime-a-ritas later, Addie and Liv were practically flat on the ground. Their legs were stretched out in the middle of the circle so only their heads were propped against Kayleigh’s bed. Their eyes flitted around the room under half-closed lids.

  “Maybe we should get them next door,” mumbled Jo under her breath.

  Addie whispered something to Liv, and the two broke out in hysterical laughter, clutching hands and kicking their feet, crushing what was left of the bag of chips in their wake.

  “I’m fineeee,” said Addie as she struggled to sit up. After several failed, flailing attempts, she managed to pull herself to her feet, only to sway so violently that she fell against Kayleigh’s bed. “It’s her you need to worry about.” She pointed at Liv’s prone form on the floor.

  “I’ve got it,” Kayleigh muttered as she hefted herself up.

  Liv didn’t move as Kayleigh and Addie each wrestled an arm under her shoulders and dragged her toward the door. As they crossed into the suite’s common area, Liv’s head popped up.

  “Oh, God,” muttered Miller.

  The room filled with Addie’s shrieks as the girls frantically pivoted toward the bathroom. The door slammed behind them, but the sound of Liv’s retching still seeped through loud and clear.

  Jo and Miller sat there as the toilet flushed and Addie disappeared into her side of the suite, only to duck back into the bathroom a moment later with a fresh T-shirt in her hands.

  “I wouldn’t let them get to you,” Miller said after a minute.

  Jo glanced at him.

  “With the virgin and band guy comments,” he explained. “Just—any guy who’s worth your time isn’t going to, uh, pressure you into anything, you know?” He shrugged and looked away as the smallest trace of red snuck up the side of his neck.

  A slow smile crept onto her face, and she bumped her shoulder against his. “What do you think are the odds they’ll let those nicknames go?”

  He chuckled. “Not a chance.”

  4

  Senior Year - March

  Jo pinched her leg under her desk and forced her eyes to refocus on the board. Usually her graphic design classes were pretty interesting, b
ut this history of graphic design elective had been Miller’s idea, and she’d give just about anything to be anywhere else. In retrospect, it was her own fault. She should’ve known someone who willingly sat through law classes was not to be trusted.

  Jordan’s glasses swam into view, and he winked at her. Jo quickly dropped her eyes and pretended to take notes.

  Great. Now Jordan was going to think she’d been staring at him and was still interested, which couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, he’d been the most boring fling she’d had since she lost her virginity freshman year—and there had been a-many interesting stories in between.

  “Now I know graduation is just a mere two months away for all you seniors,” called Dr. Wells. “But please don’t make me hunt you down for these papers or make me read something you wrote at three in the morning after one-dollar shooters at college night. They’re due next Tuesday at midnight. All right. We’ll pick up here on Monday. Don’t forget the new TA office hours are on Thursday.” He patted Jordan on the back.

  The room immediately filled with noise as everyone shoved belongings into bags and scraped their chairs back. Jordan started heading up the steps toward them, and Jo urgently jabbed Miller beside her to move faster.

  “I thought you said you ended things with Teacher’s Pet for good,” mumbled Miller as they shuffled toward the door.

  “Oh, I did.” Jo pointedly avoided looking at the front of the room until they escaped into the hall.

  Miller quirked an eyebrow. “Does he know that?”

  “Don’t start with me.” Jo swatted him in the chest. “I’m not here to coddle feelings. If adult men can’t learn to take a hint and move on, that’s not on me.”

  Jo turned toward the parking lot without warning, and Miller immediately fell into step beside her.

  “What was the hint this time?” he asked.

  “After nearly falling asleep while he was still inside me, I told him I wasn’t interested in anything more than a hookup, and we should probably just see other people. Then I left and stopped responding to his texts. You can’t get much clearer than that.”

  Miller snorted out a laugh. “Glad to hear you haven’t lost your knack for sensitivity.”

  “I just have zero tolerance for bullshit.” Jo wound through the parking lot, incessantly hitting the panic button on her keys, trying to locate her car in the overcrowded lot. People streamed past them in the opposite direction, heading to the academic buildings for the next class block. Finally, her Jeep let out a series of angry beeps at the end of the row.

  “Don’t you have another class right now?” Miller asked.

  “I dropped it.” Jo’s hand clamped around the handle to the driver’s side door, and she grinned at him over her shoulder. “Don’t you have a class right now?”

  “I’m going to drop it.”

  “I knew I was a bad influence on you.” Jo did a quick sweep of her reflection in the window as Miller circled to the passenger side. She’d thought her orange tube top complimented her red hair this morning, but now she was seeing it with entirely new eyes in the natural lighting. Maybe if she threw her hair into a ponytail, it would help. Miller slid into his seat, the top of his head nearly skimming the roof of the car. He leaned over and knocked on the window in front of her face.

  “Get in, Palmer. You look great.”

  She half expected his diplomatic smile—perfectly straight white teeth and dimples—but the smile he gave her through the glass was quieter. The barest curl of his lips, just on the one side.

  She threw the door open with a sigh and tossed her backpack into his lap. Accustomed to the routine, Miller caught it with ease and tucked it beside his feet. Just as she planted a foot on the door to haul herself inside, Jo felt a tap on her shoulder.

  She whipped around and let out a small squeak of surprise.

  Mere inches behind her stood Jordan, slightly out of breath, his shaggy blonde hair even messier than usual.

  Well, shit.

  “Hey,” he said, eyes flickering from Jo to Miller behind her.

  “Jordan.” Jo glanced around them and raised her eyebrows. “Did I forget something in the lecture hall?”

  “Oh, no, no, nothing like that. I just wanted to ask you something.”

  Jo cleared her throat and forced herself to think through her next words instead of letting the first thing that came to mind spew out. Not that she particularly cared for Jordan’s feelings, especially since he was just being plain stupid at this point, but they did have an audience, and she didn’t want to wound his pride any more than necessary. But then again, maybe that’s what it would take for him to finally leave her alone.

  “You know, Jordan—”

  “I heard you’re coming to the cocktail tonight,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “I know you’ll be working and everything, but Daniel did say you were allowed a plus-one if you wanted. I mean, I know I’m not technically a plus-one since I’m a brother and I’ll be there anyway, but—”

  “You know, it’s great luck that you’re here, man.” Miller appeared at Jo’s side, threw his arm around her shoulders, and pulled her tightly against him. The scent of his aftershave momentarily flooded her senses. “I don’t think either of us managed to write down the reading. Was it chapters three through twelve?”

  Jordan’s entire expression shifted as he took in Miller’s towering height. His eyes shifted to the place where Miller’s chest was touching Jo’s shoulder.

  Finally coming out of her shock, Jo leaned into Miller and gave Jordan an innocent smile. “Thanks, Jordan, I really appreciate it. But, uh, Miller is actually my date for tonight!”

  Jordan paused for a moment, eyes flickering between the two of them as he took this in. He didn’t look nearly as dissuaded by this as Jo had hoped. “Oh. Well, I’m sure Miller wouldn’t mind, right? I mean, it’s not like he’d be a real date anyway.”

  “Not a real date?” Miller asked.

  “Yeah, you know.” Jordan shifted his weight. “I mean, I know you two go as friends to a ton of stuff, but this is one of our last cocktails, so—”

  Miller didn’t blink. “Well, we weren’t planning on going as friends.”

  “Oh.” Jordan didn’t seem to quite know what to make of this. His eyes searched Jo’s face for an explanation, but she just shrugged and leaned farther into Miller’s chest.

  “Right. Cool. Great.” Jordan’s expression hardened, then he started backtracking, putting several feet of distance between them. “Guess I’ll see you guys there, then.”

  “See you, man.” Miller waved, expression entirely friendly. He waited until Jordan turned and disappeared behind the next row of cars before dropping his arm.

  Jo practically collapsed against the side of her Jeep as all of the air fled from her lungs. She met Miller’s gaze as his face transformed into a devilish grin.

  “Thank you,” she conceded. “You don’t have to be annoying about it.”

  He shrugged and headed back to his seat. “Whatever you say, darling.”

  “Since I’m driving, you realize you’re completely at my mercy,” said Jo as she started the car. “Which means you have to be nice to me.”

  “It’s my turn to buy the fries, so we both know you’re not leaving me behind.” He stretched back in his seat—perpetually set back at the farthest setting to accommodate his long legs—and flipped on the radio.

  All it took was a single note for Jo to recognize the song. Miller lurched up in his seat.

  Johanna by United Fates scrolled across the screen.

  “Shit,” Miller muttered. He reached for the knob to change the station but ended up turning up the volume. “Shit.” He slammed his hand against the buttons, turning the radio off all together.

  They sat in silence for several moments, Jo’s hands tightly fisted around the steering wheel. She stared at the line of cars straight ahead, her vision blurring around the edges. Finally, she said, “I can’t believe they still play tha
t fucking song.”

  “And they haven’t made a decent one since.”

  Jo sucked in a long, slow breath before glancing at him sideways. “You’re buying me an extra-large fry today.”

  Jo showed up to the cocktail an hour early to check out the venue and set up her equipment. Cocktail may have even been too generous of a word. It was at a Mexican restaurant that had a bar in the back. Granted, they had a huge patio with a pretty nice view, and they’d strung up some colorful lantern lights to make it look more festive. It wasn’t the worst frat cocktail location she’d seen.

  Miller grumbled as he shadowed her, going on about how of all the frats, why did it have to be Tri Chi? Miller had never been much of a fan of the frats, which was slightly ironic, seeing as they all seemed to love him.

  “You’re the one who offered yourself up as my date,” Jo reminded him as she took some practice shots on the patio to test the lighting. She’d been surprised when Daniel, Tri Chi’s president, emailed her a few weeks ago, asking her to be the photographer for the event. But apparently some big shot in their fraternity was in town, someone high up—Jo had no clue how the whole system worked, nor did she care. All she knew was they were giving her three hundred bucks for the night, and all the free food and drinks she could manage. “So you have no one but yourself to blame. Hey, jump in this shot for me, would you?”

  Miller sighed and sauntered into frame. His dark hair was getting longer, long enough that he repeatedly had to push it back to keep it out of his face. Despite all of his protests, he’d dressed up for the occasion, sporting fitted gray pants and a classic white button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He left the shirt open at the collar, exposing the long column of his throat, as he balanced a hand on the deck’s railing, propped one foot out to the side, and threw his head back in a dramatic pose.

  “You’re buying me a beer,” he announced.

  “It’s an open bar.”

  “Then you’re buying me two beers.”