The Anti-Relationship Year

by Katie Wismer

  Gracie quickly assembled the necessary props and pulled two water bottles out of the bag, offering one to Jo. Jo set hers off to the side and scrolled to the oldest pictures on her memory card to make sure she’d have enough space for today. When she reached the end, the photo that popped onto the screen made her breath catch in her throat.

  It was blurry and had a huge glare in the upper right corner. She must have missed this one the last time she cleared the card. Miller’s face took up the majority of the frame, his dimpled smile stretched as far across his face as it could go, guacamole smeared on the tip of his nose. It was from the night of the frat cocktail, the festive lanterns in the Mexican restaurant casting a red tint over the whole photo. His eyes stared straight in the lens, slightly glassy from the booze, but still, it felt like he was looking right at her.

  “Jo?” Gracie’s face swam into view behind the camera. “You okay?”

  Jo quickly clicked out of the preview, the coffee she’d chugged on the way over here churning in her stomach. “Yeah.”

  The girls all showed up together, each carrying bags with other props or outfit changes. One noticeably stayed behind the rest of the pack, leaving plenty of distance between her and Jo. Jo resisted the urge to roll her eyes. If she couldn’t handle being around Jo, then she shouldn’t have hired her.

  “Hi, Kayleigh,” Jo called, forcing the girl to finally look at her. She was in a sleek, white dress and black high heels, her various colored cords strung around her neck and a graduation cap in her hand.

  She shifted her weight and finally met Jo’s eyes. “Hi, Jo.”

  If the rest of the girls picked up on the tension between the former roommates, they didn’t show it—or they just didn’t care. Jo pointed Amber over to her first location and set up the shot, getting the first few pictures without any props. The other girls circled around as Jo worked, calling out pose suggestions to Amber.

  “You should turn away and look over your shoulder!” said one.

  “Oooooh, yeah!” they buzzed in agreement.

  Gracie scurried in and out of frame with different props and helped direct the girls for better lighting. Jo smiled a little behind her camera. Honestly, the girl was a natural. With proper training and practice, she might end up being even better than Jo was.

  They did close-ups and wide shots, threw confetti and popped champagne bottles, held up messages like thank God that’s over and future doctor!—all the typical stuff. They were cute, and the pictures would turn out fine—definitely something the girls would be satisfied with to post on Instagram or send to their moms or whatever. But Jo had shot a million and one of these. At least last week’s girl had taken hers at the local college bar. Now those had been some interesting pictures.

  When it was Kayleigh’s turn, they headed over to the field so she should take some pictures with her lacrosse stick. She stood there awkwardly until Gracie scurried forward and helped her pose. Jo got down on one knee and squinted into the camera, when a figure appeared in the background of the shot. She let out a small frustrated huff and waved her hand toward Gracie.

  “Can you tell them to get the hell out of the way?”

  Gracie jumped up again, ready to be of service, but the figure kept advancing. A moment later, Jordan’s face swam into view through the lens.

  A full-body groan filled Jo. This was the last thing she needed today. She lowered the camera and rose back to her feet, bracing herself for whatever confrontation Jordan was looking for, but he wasn’t even looking at her. He crept up behind Kayleigh, threw his arms around her waist, and spun her in a circle. She squealed and laughed until he set her back on her feet and leaned down to kiss her.

  Jo quirked an eyebrow, her mouth slightly open.

  “Sorry, sorry!” called Kayleigh. “Babe, we’re in the middle of something.”

  “All right, all right. I’m already gone.” Jordan held up his hands and stepped back out of the shot. When Jo didn’t move, he motioned for her to continue, apparently now determined to be a spectator for the shoot.

  Jo sighed and sank into position as Gracie helped Kayleigh get into the right spot. The hairs along the back of Jo’s neck prickled like someone was watching her. Probably Jordan.

  So he was dating Kayleigh now, so what? She supposed she should’ve felt relieved.

  They finished off the shots with the lacrosse stick and swapped in the shaken-up champagne bottle.

  As Gracie helped set up the next shot, instructing Kayleigh how to open it and where to point it, Jo couldn’t help herself. She glanced over at Jordan, who, of course, was already looking at her.

  As they wrapped up and the girls headed back to their car, Gracie stuck around to help Jo clean up and collect the rest of the props.

  “Do you have plans this afternoon?” Jo asked.

  Gracie zipped up the bag and hefted it onto her shoulder. “No, why?”

  Jo shrugged as she finished packing up her camera equipment. “You want to come see how I edit these?”

  Gracie beamed. “Yes.”

  They trekked across the field toward the parking lot, and Jo had half the mind to check in with Miller to make sure he wasn’t still there. It had been hours though—surely he hadn’t just been waiting around for her all this time. Just thinking his name made her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. And once she opened up a conversation with him again, she was worried about where it might go, if she was ready to talk about any of it yet.

  “So…” Gracie peeked at Jo sideways. “Any news on that Sandra Simone job?”

  Jo whipped toward her. “How’d you know about that?”

  A faint blush crept onto Gracie’s cheeks. “Sorry. I overheard you and Miller talking before one of the newspaper meetings.”

  “Oh. Well. Yeah, she offered me a summer internship, actually.”

  “Are you going to take it?”

  “I think so. I have the paperwork all signed and everything. I just haven’t…” she trailed off, really not wanting to get into exactly what was causing her hesitation. “I just need to swing by her office and drop it off. I think I’ll go tomorrow before the Criminal Justice banquet.”

  “Criminal justice?” Gracie asked as they reached Jo’s car, and she hefted the bag into the back seat.

  Jo rolled her eyes as she slid inside and started the car. “Miller’s dragging me there, and I owe him a favor.”

  Gracie paused, her hand around her seatbelt. “You guys go as friends to a lot of things, huh?”

  Jo’s stomach twisted again. Gracie wasn’t wrong. She and Miller had gone to lots of things as friends. They’d been each other’s default dates to almost everything since freshman year whenever the other didn’t have a real date. And that’s what this was when Miller first asked her. But that was weeks ago.

  That was before last night.

  She hadn’t thought that far ahead yet.

  “Jo?” Gracie asked. “You okay? You seem kind of…off today.”

  Jo shook her head, snapping herself out of it, and threw the car into reverse. “Yeah, yeah. Of course.”

  Gracie narrowed her eyes, like she didn’t believe Jo for a second, but said nothing. Jo’s mind, however, couldn’t stop racing the entire drive home.

  17

  Freshman Year - December

  “Make sure to email me all of the final documents for the issue before midnight tonight,” said Rodney as he paced along the whiteboard at the front of the room. “All late submissions shall be gleefully and thoroughly embarrassed at the start of next week’s meeting. Now get the fuck out of here.” He pounded his pen against the desk like a gavel and saluted the first round of people that headed for the door.

  “You still up for studying in the library?” Miller asked as he shoved his papers in his bag.

  “I need to stop by the dorm first,” said Jo. “I forgot my book.”

  Miller threw his head back and groaned, but followed Jo down the hall without further complaint. The dorms and the library we
re on separate ends of campus, but it was a small school, so it only took about five minutes to get there. Winter had already crept into the days, leaving a faint dusting of snow across the grass and an unforgiving chill in the air. Jo huddled in her jacket as they walked, shoulders drawn up to her ears. Miller sauntered along beside her in nothing more than his usual hoodie, though his cheeks were bright red from the cold.

  She left him waiting in the hallway as she slid her key in the lock and hurried into her room. All of the lights in the suite were on, but when she poked her head into the room she shared with Kayleigh, no one was there. She snatched the book off her desk and headed back toward the hall, but froze at the sound of voices coming from behind Addie and Liv’s door. She wouldn’t have thought anything of it, if she hadn’t heard her name.

  “Johanna.”

  The tone was mocking, twisting her name into a joke she didn’t understand. It was Addie’s voice, she was pretty sure.

  “A train wreck,” said Liv. “Honestly, I almost feel sorry for her. But I feel even more sorry for you.”

  There was shuffling on the other side of the door, and then: “It’s a nightmare. And what’s worse is, she seemed so normal at first, then she just turned out to be a complete fucking psycho.”

  Kayleigh.

  Jo stumbled back a step as the blood drained from her face. Addie and Liv—that wasn’t surprising. But hearing the edge to Kayleigh’s voice made her ears sting with heat.

  “Whatever even happened with that band guy?” asked Addie.

  “You’ve heard the song,” laughed Kayleigh. “She was dumb enough to go there, and then he got what he wanted and dumped her like we all knew he would. Then she freaked out.”

  “Now apparently she’s open for business for just about anyone else,” muttered Liv.

  “Jo, did you find the—” Miller stepped into the room, but froze when he saw her standing there. His eyes flickered from her to Addie and Liv’s door. The voices on the other side abruptly cut off, and the handle started to turn, but Jo pivoted and fled into the hall before anyone could open it.

  Miller struggled to keep up as Jo speed-walked back across campus, her hands gripping the book so tightly it was starting to hurt. And whatever she’d been feeling before—that awful drop in her stomach, the heat in her cheeks, the shaking in her hands—that was long gone. Now she felt only anger.

  Miller finally caught up to her as they reached the quad, and grabbed her shoulder to spin her around to face him. Whatever he saw on her face seemed to stop him in his tracks, however, because he closed his mouth again.

  Jo turned wordlessly and glanced both ways before heading across the street to the library. It was mostly empty this time of day, and Jo’s steps seemed to echo in the silence as she headed straight for the stairs that led to the private group rooms on the third floor. Miller filed along silently behind her until they reached a room toward the back and closed the door behind them. Jo plopped her bag on the large table in the center of the room.

  “Jo?”

  She glanced at Miller as he braced his hands on the back of a chair.

  “What happened back there?” he asked.

  She ripped the zipper of her bag open and started pulling out the contents until a small mountain of books, folders, and papers accumulated in front of her. Everyone who’s pretended to like me the last few months secretly thinks I’m a joke, what else is new? “Who are you taking to the Winter Ball?” she asked instead.

  Miller rocked back on his heels at the change in subject, but hesitated only a moment before shrugging his own bag off and sinking into the chair across from her. “When is that again?”

  She shot him a look. “Miller, it’s next week.”

  “Oh.” He pulled out a single pen and notebook and shrugged. “I don’t think I’m going to go.”

  Jo reached over and punched him in the arm.

  “Ow!” Miller flailed back and cradled his arm to his chest. “What was that for?”

  “You’re going,” was all Jo said as she pulled up a textbook and searched for the assigned chapter.

  “I don’t get what the big deal is,” he muttered.

  “Well, I don’t either,” Jo admitted. “But that’s why I want to go. I was talking to some of the seniors in photography club, and apparently everyone goes. There’s all this free food and music, and they do giveaways all night, so there’s all these prizes. I heard they literally give away brand new laptops and things like that.”

  “Great, so you’ll go, then report back and tell me how it was.”

  “Miller—”

  He pushed his chair back so he was out of reach. “Don’t punch me again.”

  She sighed. “What’s it going to take to convince you to go? What if I do everything for you? I’ll even find you a date.”

  “Who’s your date?” He raised his eyebrows.

  She frowned. “Okay, admittedly, I don’t have one yet. But I’m going to get one.”

  It’s not like she could go with Kayleigh, Liv, and Addie as a girls’ group anymore. The thought of faking smiles and playing nice now that she knew what they really thought of her made the nausea surge up in her stomach again. And she couldn’t just not go now, because that would be letting them win.

  It would be like letting Grey win, because she’d be lying if she said a part of her didn’t want to skip the whole thing just so she wouldn’t have to see him. But no, she wouldn’t let him ruin this for her.

  She had to go, and she had to find a date.

  Miller sighed. “You’re going to be working all night anyway, so what do you need a date for?”

  “I’m taking pictures for the newspaper—it’s not like it’s going to take all night. Rodney even told me not to get too swept up in it and still have a good time. They just need a couple of good shots. So what am I supposed to do the rest of the time I’m there when I’m not taking pictures? Dance with myself?”

  Miller shrugged as if this were a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

  “You’re really telling me there’s not a single person you want to ask?”

  Miller hesitated, then shook his head.

  Jo sighed and flipped the page in her book. “You know what? Never mind. Forget it.”

  “Oh, come on, Jo. Don’t be mad.”

  She flipped the page again, ignoring him.

  Miller leaned forward and grabbed her wrist. “I’ll tell you what, you find me a date, and I’ll find one for you, then we can all go together.”

  Her shoulders slumped, and she searched his face for any trace of mocking. “Are you messing with me?”

  “I’m serious,” he laughed. “I can be serious when I want to be.”

  “Fine.” She narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to purposefully get me the worst date ever, are you?”

  “I promise to get you the best date I can find.” He held out a hand. “Deal?”

  Jo wanted to hesitate, show some kind of reluctance. But she really was short on other options, and for once, her desire to go outweighed her pride. She grabbed his hand and gave it a firm shake across the table. “Deal.”

  The line to get into the ball was long, practically stretching across the back quad as the faculty at the front checked tickets and IDs. Jo shivered in her trench coat, which was unfortunately much more fashionable than it was functional. Beneath it, she wore a thin silk dress that did little to counteract the cold. Her hair was pinned up in an intricate bun on the top of her head, leaving the back of her neck exposed, but showing off her earrings—a thin silver cord with a single ball on each end.

  Her date, Felix, smiled at her as he shoved his hands in his suit pockets and blew out a breath that puffed up in a cloud in front of him. He was a friend of Miller’s from the English department, and was barely taller than Jo in her high heels. He had dark brown skin and round, boyish cheeks that dimpled around his smiles. He seemed nice though, if a little nervous. He had Jo’s camera bag slung over his shoulder and a flask stashed in the i
nside pocket of his jacket for later.

  “This line isn’t moving at all, and it’s freezing out here,” complained Shay behind them—Miller’s date. She shifted her weight back and forth in her dizzyingly tall heels that were a perfect match to her red dress. At least hers had long sleeves. She had a full-on winter coat, too.

  Jo bit back her annoyance, especially considering she was the one who’d cornered Shay on her way out of the library that afternoon and convinced her to go with Miller. She was pretty, Jo supposed, in the classic sort of way. Big eyes, lightly bronzed skin, long, blonde hair. She was also a sophomore, but apparently didn’t mind hanging out with a bunch of freshmen. She was comically short next to Miller, who had his suit jacket unbuttoned and his head craned back toward the sky, looking at the stars as if the cold didn’t bother him at all.

  Colored lights flashed in the windows as they inched closer to the building, music spilling out the open door. Each floor held a different attraction—the top floor housing the largest of the ball rooms, so it held the band and a large dance floor. The middle level was full of activities like tarot readings and poker tables. The basement held most of the food and places to enter the different giveaways for the night.

  Felix glanced at Jo as they finally made it inside and dropped their coats off at the coat check. “Where to first?” he asked.

  Jo glanced around, considering. They’d purposefully stayed at their pregame long enough to make them fashionably late, so the crowd was already thick. She slipped her camera out of her bag and double-checked the settings as Miller and Shay reappeared.

  “You guys go ahead,” Jo told them. “I’m going to make some rounds.” She held up the camera.

  Miller opened his mouth to say something, but Shay grabbed his arm and chirped out a quick, “Great!” before he had the chance. Then she was pulling him toward the staircase at the back to head to a different floor.