“This is a teenager’s wet dream. Why do you guys have this?”
“For the reason you just stated. Remember, many of our First Shift folks who come stay here are going through puberty. So, they are in fact, teens. We take longer with them than we are with you and they get homework, free time, and we need to keep them busy. Also, some of our staff live here and all of our workout facilities are available to them and other members of our community.”
“Where does teaching me about Animus and shifting come into playing games with you on a television?”
“As your therapist I decided we’re working you too hard. The mood swings and emotional outbursts were an indicator that we shouldn’t try to push you so hard. While you were at the pool I had a talk with the head of my department as well as my parents. We’ve all decided to slow things down a little bit and give you a chance to acclimate.”
“Won’t that keep you from your work longer? I can write anywhere but you need to see patients, right?”
“I’m going to split time between working with you and seeing a couple of other patients. For times when you need recreation or a good workout, others can bring you to and from your room and hang out with you if that’s acceptable.”
“Guards? I’m getting jailers now?”
“Whoa there. No one is trying to jail you or treat you badly. I wasn’t aware of how deeply the traumatic aspects of this were affecting you at first. I think your use of disbelief protected you for a while and that’s why you hadn’t dealt with certain issues prior to last night and this morning.”
“So, this is my fault for not trusting some crazy story total strangers were telling me while I was on pain medication?”
“Again, not the message I’m sending. I’m telling you that I was at fault for not seeing this sooner. I apologize for rushing you through a rigorous learning schedule that didn’t leave enough time for your mind to process all we’re feeding it.”
“Oh. That makes sense. Sorry, I’m really on edge.”
“Totally understandable and expected. Some of the nerves are from absorbing everything but some are also from various things going on with your body chemistry as the virus continues to progress.”
“It isn’t done? I thought all those tests said it was through?”
“Actually, we were testing to ensure we could feed you less bland food. I find that being able to eat well improves patient morale significantly. At the same time, your body will progress
faster when it can get a varied and nutritious diet.”
“Video games fit in where?”
“Simple. I love them. I don’t spend my free time the way some shifters do because I don’t actually shift. So, instead of running through the forest at night or on weekends, I spend some of my time gaming.”
“So, this is downtime?”
“It is. However, like others have mentioned, if you find yourself with questions at any time, we can always pause and you can ask them. I promise to do a better job of taking care of you. We haven’t had many accidental exposures and the protocol we had established was meant more for rogue attacks or humans who get in the way of a protective parent or something and end up attacked.”
“Wait, rogue attacks? Parents? Explain please and then you can whip my butt in whatever game you pick.”
“Sorry, once in a while, someone ends up going feral. They spend so much time shifted into animal that they start to forget their human side. Especially in the more social animal groups the ferals seem to lose their grip on reality and attack humans occasionally. If the humans survive, we care for them here. We also police for the feral and deal with that issue.”
“Back to that in a minute. Parents?”
“If a mated wolf pair is out running or if a pack is running and someone comes near to hunt, the dominants and parents will rely on their animal side to protect their less dominant mates or children. That can be worse in some ways because we then have to deal with the shifter who feels guilt about turning or killing someone out of instinct.”
“By ‘dealing with the feral’ you meant ‘hunt down and eliminate,’ didn’t you?”
“Sometimes that’s the only way. I can tell you that hunting with tranquilizer darts is the first approach. Sometimes we can catch things early enough and give the shifter the care they need to recover. Once they’ve made their first human kill, they usually can’t come back from that.”
“More to process. Let’s play. I can’t handle any more reality right now.”
I have to admit it, the rest of the afternoon was a lot of fun. Granted, Kerstin kicked my ass in most of the games but she was a good winner and didn’t gloat. I also think I learned more than she expected from the talk we had. Heck, I think I learned a lot just from hanging out with her instead of feeling like I was cramming for finals.
After a couple of hours I asked if I could head back to my room. I wanted to get some work done. This wasn’t a vacation from my real life and there was a book to write. I also wanted to see what my twit of an agent might have to say for himself.
I WAS DEEP into the first chapter of my next book when my doorbell rang. As always, it took me a moment to recognize something from the world outside of my novel. It rang a second time as I saved my work and moved to open the door. Dena stood on the other side.
“Hey, I thought maybe you’d gone out.”
“Nope, sorry, I was writing.”
“Do you want to get back to it? I’d understand.”
“No, no. I can write later. But I would like a chance to go shut down my laptop.”
“Of course, take your time.”
I went back and made sure that the file was saved, again. I sent it to my e-mail address as a backup, then closed out the program and powered down.
“All set,” I said as I rejoined Dena in my living room. “Did you have dinner yet? I must have worked through mine. I don’t know how but I never heard them ring the doorbell.”
“You didn’t miss it. I asked Mike to hold your dinner tonight. I hope that’s okay with you. I thought you might like to eat at the café for a change.”
“Café? What café?”
“In addition to the cafeteria for the hospital, we have a cafeteria down here too. We recently added a more casual café which offers a variety of coffee drinks, tea blends, and basic dining choices.”
“Sounds good. Let’s go.”
Dena guided me and as we walked we spoke of the usual trite things, minus the weather. I had no clue what the weather was outside and I found that troubling. I didn’t ask as I was afraid that I might miss it more if I knew it was gorgeous outside.
I was astounded to see that unlike much of the facility that made up The Center, this place tried to look more like something I would find outside walking down the street of a town. The walls of the hallway were glass for the length of the eatery. There was a storefront-style door, and inside there were tables and cozy places scattered throughout. We approached the counter and I saw a display case with a multitude of bakery items. The menu board was divided into beverages and food.
“Good evening, ladies. What may I get for you today?” The older woman working the order station was polite and friendly. She looked at me as I studied the menu. “First time here?”
“Uh huh. Good menu. Could I have the grilled cheese with bacon and a side of sweet potato fries? Oh, and a salad, the small one with your ginger dressing on the side?”
“Of course, great choices. And to drink?”
“Do you have apple cider?”
“We do, hot or cold?”
“Hot please.”
“Wonderful. And you, Dena? The usual?”
“Actually, I think I’ll have the patty melt today and a small salad. I will have my usual milkshake.”
“Great. Dressing?”
“Surprise me,” Dena said.
“You asked for it. Here’s your number and we’ll have everything out in a jiffy.”
The woman, whose nametag read “Alice,
” walked away. I was confused.
“Don’t we have to pay?”
“No, food on the lower levels is no charge. The Center pays the staff here, not the café. Essentially, this is just a section of our facility and we aren’t charged for food. For non-employees the facilities here can be used for a small fee each month or by volunteering time. That includes food, gyms, nature room, library, and whatever else we choose to utilize. I tend to come to the café for dinner before I head home most days that I work a shift or if I’m here to work out.”
Dena had been steering me toward a corner booth as she explained things. I slid into my side as she did the same on hers.
“Sounds like a great deal. So, what’s your usual? Obviously you eat here enough to have one.”
“You wouldn’t believe me.”
“Try me.”
“It’s actually the exact meal you ordered.”
“Really?”
“Well, not the cider. I usually get a black and white malted milkshake.”
“Where do you put it all?” I blushed as I realized what I’d said. “I’m sorry, that was rude. I actually don’t get out much.”
“No problem. Shifters tend to have the metabolism of our animal form. As a deer, it's a fairly good metabolism but the shifting itself uses a lot of calories. I use the nature room once or twice a week to shift and I run with my family most weekends.”
“So shifting is like the best diet plan?”
Dena laughed and I noticed how much I liked the sound.
“In a way. It's a great workout at least. That doesn’t keep me from hitting the weight room or swimming. I use the endless pools to build muscle and stay toned more than for cardio. I get that when I run in fur.”
“Can I ask a question?”
“Tori, you can always ask questions and you don’t have to ask permission, okay?”
I nodded and tried to decide how to ask. “I’m getting confused by terms I think. Some people refer to their Other, some to the animal by type, some call it shifting to animal form and some to fur. Is there a PC term I should use for this stuff?”
“Good question. When you are talking to someone else, it is their Other but you may call your own deer or whatever else you choose. They may refer to their Other as wolf or deer, but unless invited, stick to Other. Shifting to fur and shifting to animal form are basically interchangeable and the preference lies more with the person you’re speaking to than anything else.”
“Got it, so, assuming I do shift and meet my Other, it will let me know what to call it?”
“You can assume that it will be the feminine for pronoun use.”
“Is it always gender matched?” I wondered about cross gender pairings.
“There have been cases where a person who is one gender in human form becomes the other gender in animal form. It is rare but it happens.”
“Does that make them transgendered shifters? I’m not trying to be irreverent or rude, but isn’t that a mind fuck of sorts?”
“Think of it more as gender queer. Those people tend to be bisexual or pansexual as a rule. They don’t prefer one gender over another and are usually more at ease with themselves once they spend time in animal form getting to know their Other’s gender-specific things.”
“Right, makes sense. Well, not really but I’ll process it later. Getting back to my Other, she’ll let me know what to call her?”
“Yes, but don’t worry. You’ll figure it out and Kerstin can help a lot.”
“How does she do all this without shifting herself?”
“She’s been trained. The First Shift is a major event for us. The person working with you never shifts during it so her disability isn’t an issue.”
“Is it really considered a disability?”
Dena tilted her head to the side as if thinking before she answered. I decided it was kind of cute.
“In our community, the lack of the ability to shift is typically because of an illness of the mind. In Kerstin’s case, no one has been able to find out why she can’t shift. There were a lot of tests run and a variety of people worked with her throughout her adolescence. It’s really her story to tell. The shorter answer is, yes, in the shifter community, the lack of the ability to be connected to nature and your Other in that way is considered a disability.”
“It must be hard for her. To see everyone around her be able to do something she can’t. It can’t be easy on her family either since her parents are so high up politically.”
“I can’t answer most of that but the political part isn’t hereditary. In the old days things were determined by battle in animal form for the position to lead the herd or pack. These days we use a democratic method of vote selection but the title is for life or until someone steps down. For packs or herd structure within families, that is determined by dominance and some hereditary stuff thrown in. That’s more complex for animals that run in packs or prides.”
Our food was delivered by a young woman who seemed to flirt with Dena as she set everything down. That bothered me a bit but I wasn’t certain why. I pushed it aside and took in the meal.
“This is great. I see why it’s your usual.”
“Just wait until you try it.”
We ate in silence for a bit, slaking our thirst and hunger in lieu of conversation. After my salad and sandwich, I focused on my sweet potato fries, dipping them in a small dish of maple syrup that had been provided. Dena swiped a fry and pulled it through the syrup.
“Hey! That’s mine.”
“Well, I would offer for you to come and get it but instead I’ll simply call it my payment for introducing you to the café.”
“Payment? I suppose I’ll let it slide then. So, off to the library after this?”
“That’s the plan. I know it sucks to not have something to read. I read for a bit before bed most nights and if you do the same, I’m sure it’s hard to break the routine.”
“I usually use an e-reader. Being pretty isolated I find it easier to get books that way. Stacy must have missed it when she gathered some of my things to bring here.”
“We can send someone for it if you prefer.”
“No, that’s not needed. I can use old school paperbacks for now. It’s actually sort of fun to go back to paper even if it isn’t as environmentally sound as my e-reader.”
“It uses electricity, right?”
“Yeah but I have solar panels that generate most of my power. I use a little geothermal power for heating. There is a small hot spring on my property and I was able to tap it. It does a great job of heating most of the winter.”
“You really do live off the grid.”
“Not entirely. I still need the Internet for research and communication so I have satellite Internet and television. My cell works fine out there so I use that for telephone.”
“Partially off the grid. Isn’t it lonely?”
“Sometimes. On the whole though, I love it. I get to take walks and spend time in my garden. I write or paint some almost every day. I pull in downed trees and chop my own wood for my wood stove. I tend a small grove of trees that I planted for fruit. I just have a few apple and peach trees. I like my life there. I’m not drawn into other people’s drama, I’m not as much of a drain on our eco system, and I’m close enough to a large town that has the supplies I don’t produce on my own. I go in about once a month and get what I need.”
“That sounds amazing. I’m going to take a shot in the dark that the garden is the vegetable and herb type and not the flower type.”
“You would be right. I do grow some flowers but those are largely for the needs of the animals around me. I also have a few nut trees in my grove but I tend to leave most of the nuts for the animals also.”
“Sounds like a paradise.”
Dena sounded impressed. I don’t know how it happened but before I could control my mouth I blurted out, “You could come see it for yourself if you’d like to once I’m out of here.”
I wanted to smack my
self in the head. Not only had I sworn off women, I didn’t know if she was a lesbian. I also didn’t know why she might want to visit and be reminded of me killing her brother.
“I’d like that, I think.”
I was so embarrassed that I almost missed her reply but then it registered.
“Um, great. So, you ready to show off your library?”
“Sure am.”
We bussed our table and headed for the door. On the way, Dena described the library system for me.
“We work things a bit differently here. There are actually two library systems. One is above ground in the clinic and community hospital area. The other is down below where our selection is a bit more extensive. There is a standard checkout system as in any library you’ve used in the past. I’ll issue you a card and then you’ll be able to check out books. There are certain books, call them reference books for lack of a better term, that can’t be checked out but are available for on-site reading.”
“Sounds good. I’m just looking for some fiction to chill out with so I can get to sleep. Sometimes I have a hard time getting out of my own head at night. When that happens, I can escape into some other writer’s head for a while and it lets me sleep.”
“Hey, it’s better than drugs and alcohol. Reading is my addiction so I understand.”
“Must make being a librarian interesting.”
“It can be truly rewarding at times. I love helping students at the university learn how to navigate our systems and tunnel through data to find the information they need. Even better is when I get to shelve the doctoral thesis of a student I’ve watched grow into a capable researcher.”
“I have a sneaking suspicion. You read each one before you shelve it, don’t you?”
“I try. Some of them are so esoteric and in fields I don’t know much about that I give up and put it on the shelf for some other braniac to find in a few years.”
Stranger Than Fiction Page 15