A Heart's Design

by Natalee Cooper

Jase offered a weak smile, one that belied his raw emotion. Neither talked as he followed the man to the back door of the Henrys’ ranch home. William paused to scratch the dirt from his feet on a stiff rug, and he did the same.

  Inside, the sheer curtains next to the fireplace were new, but the faded floral couches where he’d had his first kiss with Dustin’s cousin Emma were the same. As was the coffee table where he split open his chin wrestling his best friend.

  A squeeze of his shoulder snapped him back from the memories, and William ushered him into the den, offering him a seat before lowering himself onto the one behind the familiar, sturdy cherry desk.

  Now under brighter lights, Jase noticed the lines and fatigue in his father’s friend that he hadn't seen outside in the early hours of dawn. “The ranch looks good,” he said, grabbing at anything to snuff the awkward moment. “Is that a new A-frame roof on the barn?”

  “Put it on last summer. Happy with it so far.”

  Laughter almost pushed through the tightness in his throat. Eleven years and they were making small talk. It was definitely laughable. Except, anything personal choked the air from his lungs.

  “I hear things are going well for you.”

  Jase lifted his shoulder in a half-shrug. “Yeah, I’ve been lucky.”

  “That ain’t luck, son. You’re a hard worker like your dad. Smart like your momma. They’d be proud of what you did with the money they left you.”

  Chest tight, he traced a scratch in the wood of his chair, not meeting the man’s eyes.

  “And I’m proud of you, too.”

  He mumbled a weak thank you then picked up a framed photo of William and his wife and asked a little too quickly, “How’s Marla doing?”

  William took the photograph and ran a thumb over his wife’s picture. “She’s been at her sister’s for the past two weeks but will be home tomorrow morning. She’d love a visit.”

  “I’d like that.” And he meant it.

  Removing his cowboy hat, the older man held it between his fingers. His eyes focused on the worn straw, but his expression suggested his thoughts weren’t anywhere near the state of his Stetson.

  “What’s going on? Something isn’t right. I can feel it. I could read it between the lines of your letter.”

  The rancher’s fingers shook slightly, but his voice was steady. “I’m sellin’ the ranch.”

  Boulders could have crashed through the front door and he wouldn’t have heard them with William’s words pounding in his head. “What? Why?”

  “I know I could list it and get some bites, but this land has been in our family for three generations. I don’t want to let it go to just anyone. That’s why I asked you to come. You’re the only person I know who loves this land as much as I do. It’ll be a fair price.”

  Jase laughed without a grain of humor. “I haven’t been back in years. You know this. And you can’t sell the ranch.”

  William pointed straight at him, this time his hand steady. “You can’t keep a man from his land, son. You’ll be back when you’re ready.”

  His chair creaked as he shifted, and still shots from his nightmare struck the air from his lungs. “You always had faith in me. Honestly, I’m not sure why.”

  “Two reasons. You’re a Cutter, and you have a good soul.”

  Jase smiled, but it felt dishonest and undeserved. “I don’t understand. Why are you selling?”

  “Marla’s not doing well. She’s been pretty sick for the last eighteen months. Between the medical bills and the repairs on the ranch…”

  Coldness settled in his veins. “I had no idea she was sick. How bad is it?”

  William bowed his head. “Dr. Bennet says she has months, maybe a year.”

  He slumped back and stared. “I don’t know what to say… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “Knowin’ she’ll be free of pain helps. For Marla, too, though she’d never admit it.”

  The musky air in the small den, with its papers scattered about and books lying open, mocked him. He was sure they mocked William, too, shouting life was simple. Normal.

  But it isn’t.

  “You know I can help, you don’t have to sell. Let me take care of the medical—”

  “I’m not takin’ charity,” he interjected with no room to argue. “I know what I need to do, and I’ll do it. But…” He left his hat on the desk and ran a hand over his thinning hair. “Truth is, I asked you to meet with me because Marla doesn’t know about any of this. And, I’d like to keep it that way.”

  The rancher’s gaze focused on him, its dark color imploring.

  “This is the home we raised our kids in. The only home Marla’s known these forty-two years we’ve been married. She planted her first garden here and celebrated each of the kids’ birthdays in that dining room down the hall, on that same old table with the wobbly leg I never got to fixin’.”

  William pulled out a handkerchief and blew his nose. His eyes were red but dry of tears, and Jase wondered if he’d used them up.

  “I can’t take her away now. She needs to spend her last days here in her home where she belongs. Only, I don’t know how many days she’ll have. So, I’m hopin’ if you agree to the sale, you might not mind us staying ‘til…well, ‘til the good Lord calls her home.”

  He studied the man across from him. Not just a man, but a husband and father. And friend. A part of William was shattered inside. “I’ll have Penny call the bank on Monday. And you’ll stay here as long as you need.” He stared at the desk, his eyes burning with the unshed moisture he held back.

  “Sending that letter was one of the hardest things I’ve done. If it weren't for my Marla…”

  “You don’t need to explain. I understand more than you might think. I'm glad you sent it.” And it was the truth. No matter the pain he’d endured the past several days, this time with his father's friend made every moment worth it.

  William stood when a grandfather clock chimed the hour, and Jase followed.

  “Have you been home?”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Not yet, but…I’m thinking about rebuilding.” The lack of conviction in his answer rang loud in his ears.

  “Your dad always wanted to build a fancy house for your momma. One with room for all the grandbabies.” The older man smiled wide for the first time. “I can’t think of anything he’d like more than to see that still happen.”

  That dream house wasn’t the only plan his dad had for the ranch, he’d had a notebook full of one days, but Jase couldn’t stomach to think on the others. “Yeah.”

  Those familiar eyes studied him. “You still havin’ those nightmares?”

  He blinked. “Am I that transparent?”

  A shrug was his only answer.

  “They’ve been bad the past few weeks, but I'm surviving them when they come.”

  William nodded once before opening the door to step into the hall. “I meant it when I said I'm proud of you. Always have been. I want you to know that.” He paused, as if wanting to say more, but had trouble getting the words out. “Thank you…for everything.”

  Jase held up his hands. “What I'm doing to help doesn't begin to repay what you did for me.”

  The rancher laid a calloused hand on his shoulder. “It took a lot of courage to survive what you did, you don’t owe—”

  “Courage?” The word hissed from behind him. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

  Jase twisted around to see his childhood best friend standing just feet away. He sensed the clenching of Dustin's teeth, the hard rise and fall to his chest, but didn't see the fist he'd pulled back until it was too late.

  Shocks of pain exploded along his jawline as the swing connected, snapping his face hard to the right. He staggered but held his ground, despite the adrenaline pumping hot through his veins. Across from him, William held his son back, both men’s bodies strained. Every thread of muscle in Jase tensed to fight back, but he only stared at the man who'd once been like a brother to him. />
  Dustin's breaths were heavy, but he no longer fought his father's hold, and Jase’s pulse spiked at the steal in his friend’s eyes—their hardness because of him. Yet, the one emotion that pierced him deepest was the shadow of abandonment on the edges.

  What was he supposed to do? Beg for him to understand? Tell him he was sorry for bailing? He couldn't say the one thing his friend wanted to hear, because the truth was, if he could go back to that night eleven years and twenty-one days ago, he would leave all over again. It sounded harsh, even to himself, but it was honest.

  Getting out of Idaho had been his only way to escape the slow poisoning he'd felt after the accident. The lethal concoction of all the dark emotions he'd harbored, combined with the suffocating sympathies the community poured over him, had proved too much for his callow nineteen years.

  But hurting his friend was his biggest regret.

  Without words, Jase walked out the front door, away from the questions he couldn't answer. He knew his actions would prove to be one more regret where the Henrys were concerned, but his legs kept pushing forward. The low sound of Dustin's voice sticking to his steps like a tossed-away, chewed up piece of gum.

  Coward.

  He abandoned his car for the familiar walk between the Henrys’ ranch and his own land to meet Madison, but each step was crested by a deep sense of unrest. By the time he roused his sense of awareness, he stood not ten feet from his family’s stables—or what was left of them.

  The once-fresh structure, charred black, was now grayed with time. Most of the wreckage had been cleared away, but enough remained to stand as a token of what would always be a horrific scene. A part of him wanted to reach out, to touch the twisted pieces to see if they were as rough as the scars on his heart, but his feet wouldn't swallow up the distance.

  Nor would they retreat, and Natasha’s words stabbed deeper.

  Broken.

  For days after the accident that ultimately took everything, he'd avoided the stables. It wasn't until the night he’d left, almost four months after the fire, that he’d found himself standing on this same spot among the few remaining scattered pines. A part of him had clung to the hope that he’d made some peace since that day, but the hole in his chest gaped bigger than ever.

  A faint buzzing prodded the quiet, and he pulled out his phone to see it was Penny.

  “I'm not interrupting, am I?” she asked when he answered.

  “Not at all. And, hello to you, too.” He threw her favorite line back, desperate for anything familiar. Safe.

  “Sorry. Hello, dear. I called to see how things went with Miss Blakeley.”

  Jase filled his lungs with clean air then let out a slow breath. “Honestly? Both terrible and better than I expected.”

  “Okay…”

  He laughed. “It’s a long story.”

  “So, she didn’t tell the Westons about Idaho like you feared?”

  “No. But she did tell Dustin Henry.”

  “Who?”

  “William’s son.” He kicked at a loose rock. “But I don’t think Madison meant to let it slip.”

  “How did she take the news about you postponing the build?”

  “I didn’t bring it up.”

  “Have you decided not to postpone then?”

  Her question, so full of hope, added a layer of confidence he was doing the right thing. “Every time I make up my mind to wait, something pulls me back.” Like Madison’s enthusiasm and passion. Those wooden arrows. He scowled at a moth trying to land on his shoulder. “And I know what you’re probably thinking.”

  Her laughter spilled over across the line. “You do?”

  “Yes. You’re congratulating yourself that you were right all along.”

  Silence.

  He snorted. “Exactly.”

  “Out of curiosity, what pulled you back this time?”

  Grabbing a broken branch, he absently poked at the ground with it. “The main reason? William’s ranch is in trouble. I’ll fill you in when I get back.”

  “Are you still meeting with Madison then? Or do you need me to try and change your flight?”

  He checked the time. “I told her I’d still like to hear her ideas.” He jabbed the grass with the stick a few more times before chucking it toward a grove of aspen. “My gut tells me to trust her.”

  “Then I say follow your instincts. They haven’t steered you wrong yet. Well, not too wrong,” she teased.

  A grin pushed its way past the heaviness he’d carried since leaving the Henry Ranch. “How are things on your end?”

  “Business as usual. The mayor called yesterday with more suggestions on local companies he thinks we can use on our restoration team.”

  “Of course he did.”

  “I think the man still has a rock in his shoe over your choice in architect.”

  “If there had been any local firms qualified, believe me, I would have chosen them.” He thought of the dark-haired architect and her bid, but it was too late to regret his choice now.

  “Deep down, he knows the situation. He’s only being Marty.”

  Jase switched the phone to his other ear. “I want the best for this project. For you and the rest of the city. I promise. It’ll be great.”

  “Quit worrying about letting me down. Both the theatre and the addition of the surrounding shopping district will be amazing. You’re good at what you do. If you don’t believe me, I can open the brag book—”

  His deep laughter cut into the stillness. “No. You can keep that thing buried under your desk.”

  “It’ll all work out. With both the Old Theatre and William. Even Madison.”

  He stared at the remains before him. “I’m hoping so.”

  Chapter Nine

  “Are you sure this is still worth it?” Eric asked from the driver’s seat.

  Madison stuffed papers into a folder on her lap and ignored his question. She was still irritated with him, especially after Jase’s confrontation, and the way he tapped his thumb on the window seal, without any rhythm whatsoever, didn’t help.

  “Look what he did to your arm. The guy’s completely unprofessional.”

  She stared straight at him. “Who’s unprofessional? Um, we broke his trust.”

  He had the decency to wince and even put his hand back on the wheel, though his thumb taps still echoed in her head.

  “It isn’t Jase’s fault I was clumsy. I’m not going to mess this up again.”

  “You can't even tell anyone you're working for him.”

  “For now. But, if he’s impressed with my work, his recommendation could open so many doors for the company.”

  “Could. It could open doors. Meanwhile, we could be back home concentrating our efforts on actually signing commercial contracts. That’s the whole reason we moved the shop. Fresh start, new direction. Those were your words, your dream. Even Sarah doesn’t think we need his help.”

  Letting the seat support her head, she closed her eyes a moment. Of course he told Sarah.

  “We’re doing this, so, please let it drop.”

  For the second time since arriving, she wished she’d come alone. Eric might have been a favorite of her father’s, but she’d punch him by nightfall if he didn’t ease up on Jase and her decision to come to Idaho.

  Several more miles of road passed but, with the tension between them, it felt like several hundred.

  “I worry about you, okay?” He nudged her arm. “I promised your father I’d watch out for you. But it’s more than that, I…”

  “What?”

  His attention fell on her a beat before returning to the road. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all.”

  “I appreciate the big brotherly concern, but I’ll be fine.” She touched the bandage on her arm beneath her shirt sleeve. “Well, unless I trip again.” Please don’t trip again.

  Eric’s usual answering snicker or snort didn’t come. The only sign he’d heard her was the unmoving set to his jaw.

 
The view outside their windows ate up the rest of the drive until asphalt gave way to dirt.

  “Okay. Jase will be here in half an hour. Meaning, I have thirty minutes to be inspired. I better be inspired…”

  “Give me a break. You could stand out here blindfolded and still come up with something stunning.”

  “Funny.” But she appreciated his faith in her.

  Eric brought the car to a stop under the shade of a thicket of scrub oak. The driver’s side door creaked as he got out and shut it behind him, followed by a lot of grumbling.

  “You didn’t have to come, you know.” She leaned across the console to stare up through his open window. “In fact, wasn’t your plan to hole up at the B&B all weekend and work?”

  “It still is.”

  When he looked anywhere but her, she cleared her throat.

  “Fine. I wanted to see where Cutter grew up. Happy?”

  Madison nodded then grabbed her own handle and got out, but only two steps from the car told her a better view of the ranch was needed. Spotting an outcropping of rocks next to a sagging gate, she headed straight for them, motioning him to follow. Leaving her folder on a patch of grass, she started to climb while he shook his head. Gripping the rough rock, she pulled herself up to the top, using her sore arm as little as possible.

  The scents of grass and pine floated on a lazy breeze as she shielded her face from the sun to peer over Jase’s land. The view left her speechless. Trees, wildflowers, and wooden fences—a paradise she hadn’t known existed. Yet, what burned its mark deep down in her soul was glimpsing the flawless sky perfectly reflected in the peaceful winding stream running to one side of the property. That sparkling ribbon of water wrapped endlessly around the ranch, playing peek-a-boo. Whatever direction he wanted to go with the design, the home demanded an array of windows—floor to ceiling—to capture every shot of nature morning, noon, and sunset.

  My west-coast heart might need to make room for some country.

  “Come on. You’re making me nervous.”

  Eric stood at the base of the largest rock, his hands on his hips. A sudden mental image of him counting to ten almost had her giggling.

  “You should see this place. I mean, Sun Valley was beautiful when we flew in, but there’s something about this spot of land.”