by Jan Spiller
In terms of daily living, the two of you may not quite “click”—even if they’re the love of your life. You may have different lifestyles, enjoy different activities, and use time in different ways. For example, you might prefer to debate and explore ideas, while your partner prefers to withdraw or watch television. If this person is your primary partner, in order for the relationship to succeed you will both need plenty of space and private time to pursue your own interests. Then at the end of the day you can come together and share your feelings about what you have accomplished or experienced.
In other areas, it is important to understand that this person is not particularly good school karma for you. Even though they may help you in terms of pursuing higher education that leads to a degree, they will probably not see the value of taking a class just because it’s an area of interest. And they may inadvertently give you bad advice about your schoolwork or classes. For instance, they might recommend a course of study that is not really aligned with your best interests. Also, although they are a good influence on distributing your ideas to a wider audience, they may not give you good advice about the process of writing itself, or about how to further develop your ideas. Nor are they likely to give you good advice in the areas of sales, teaching, short trips, or issues involving neighbors.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. If you approach someone whose North Node falls in your 9th House logically and try to change their point of view, they will probably not be able to “hear” you. But if you speak directly from your intuition or your own Truth, they are more likely to be supportive.
For example, if you say, “Look—logically, I can’t hold down a full-time job, come home, make dinner, AND keep up the yard,” you may well meet with emotional resistance because you are speaking from a logical, problem-oriented point of view. However, if you say, “Look—intuitively, I feel that things would work a lot better if you start making dinner during the week,” they will probably be far more receptive. You have spoken in terms of a solution, rather than phrasing it as a problem. Also, if you present things to them in terms of options or choices, again you are likely to meet with resistance. Asking “Would you rather go to a movie tonight or go out to dinner?” may not yield good results, because you’ve given them a choice and they will probably feel frustrated. However, by saying, “Would you like to go to dinner at the Thai place tonight?” they are likely to go along with you since you have presented a plan in the spontaneity of the moment.
Someone with this nodal position is bringing you the gift of teaching you to take the initiative and follow the next happy adventure that feels exciting to you. And when you present your desires to them in that way—without “logic” or mental manipulation—they can hear you and will feel inclined to give you what you want. For instance, “Let’s go for a walk in the woods and enjoy this beautiful day.” Or, if this is a child: “Molly, first clean up your room and then we’ll go to the mall.” And as you accept their gift by learning to present your desires directly in the form of a plan or solution, a channel opens that increases the flow of Love between you.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no particular past life influences relative to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 9th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
Most likely you shared a past life with this Soul where they supported unethical behavior on your part that resulted in mutual gain—at the expense of your having clear thinking and success in future lives. For example, maybe you had a financial scheme that was out of integrity but made a lot of money where they supported you—either actively or passively—and shared in the profits. If you abused money in that lifetime, in future lives your thinking would be shrouded with confusion about money. This may have led you to make mistakes with investments and to generally have bad judgment in this area, resulting in your accumulating far less wealth than your talents merited.
The above example involves money, but by observing the area in this lifetime where you experience confusion that leads to painful misjudgments, you will know what type of unethical behavior occurred in a past life. And because this person participated in some way in that behavior, this is a payback lifetime for them, and they are uniquely equipped to be an instrument of your healing. Their contract is to actively intercede and help you make a spiritual and/or ethical shift so that you will be healed from the confusion and wrong action that has created negative results for you. So they will not be lulled to sleep by the adroit presentation of your logic. They have the innate ability to “see” any “ethical glitches” you might have so that they can reacquaint you with the importance of your conscience and the power that consistent right action can bring to your life.
Among other possible connections, this person may have been your brother or sister in a past life, which could create an underlying “sibling energy” in your current relationship. They are also here to show you that you have the freedom to live your life as an adventure, despite what your conditioned thinking has led you to believe. And as you receive their gift by allowing yourself to grow ethically and spiritually through their influence and to experience more joy and freedom in your life, they will also gain a more direct connection with Truth.
When their North Node is in your 10TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
AMBITIONS AND GOALS IN SOCIETY—If someone who plays a significant role in your life has their North Node in your 10th House, you need to focus on your goals, activate your ambition, and accept the discipline required for achievement. This person has come across your path because it’s time for you to elevate your status and reputation, expand your professional impact, and build a strong foundation in society. Their energy totally supports your position in the world. They will contribute to your success, either by improving your financial status, helping you complete a professional project, or giving you advice that keeps you on track toward manifesting your goals.
This person will encourage you to do something that will have an impact in the world. They see your potential for achievement and will back you all the way, joyfully using their talents to support you. It excites them to see you being the best you can be, and because they are so proud of you, you will gain added self-esteem from your accomplishments. They are genuinely invested in your earning a place of prominence and being seen as an authority in your field. They are an excellent influence on your career or profession and their presence will strengthen your attunement to society and the outside world. They will naturally benefit your social status and increase your prestige and public image, perhaps by virtue of their pleasing appearance or their own position in the world.
In fact, someone with this nodal position would be a good business consultant, career counselor, or agent for you, and if they give you advice about enhancing your public image or reputation, it would be wise to take their ideas seriously. They will give you suggestions and information that can guide you in the direction of successfully achieving your professional objectives. Even if they are unfamiliar with your field of endeavor, their counsel will still be accurate. And if fame is one of your goals, they will give you clear advice about how to create situations where your talents can be seen and respected by a wider audience.
This person will naturally yield their own personal needs in order to unhesitantly support you in achieving your professional aims. They instinctively know that your goals are important. They are aware of how your talents and qualities match society’s current needs, and will give you good advice about how to fill this niche. Their prompting and support can be the force that propels you to take action that increases your status in the world. This person will also know how to help you create the correct image—and what �
�role” you should play with your employer—that will best allow you to further your ambitions.
As you accept their gift and allow them to help you focus on clarifying and manifesting your goals and bringing projects to completion, your receptivity to their energy brings out the best in them. And by tuning in to how your talents can benefit society, they simultaneously gain a new awareness of how their own unique gifts fit with society’s current needs. This motivates them to begin actively achieving their own goals, which increases their ability to make a difference in the world. In this way, you empower each other to experience more success in your lives, which leads to an easy flow of appreciation and Love between you.
TAKING CHARGE—This person has come across your path because it’s time to incorporate a stronger “take charge” attitude into your personality and accept the position of “CEO” in your own life. They can help you to get on top of things and increase your self-sufficiency in areas where you feel out of control. For example, if you consistently have difficulty paying your bills on time, they will enthusiastically introduce you to a computer bill-paying program—or some other system—that will empower you to gain control in that area. Their gift is to help you take charge and make a success of your life under your own authority rather than allow you to become dependent on them. So if you allow your moods or your feelings of dependency to take over, they won’t be empathetic or respond to you in a positive way. But if you are clear about your goals and actively pursue them, then they will jump in and help you get there.
For instance, if you are clear about your career path and are ready to move forward, a mate or parent with this nodal position may be willing to work to support your getting an education that gives you more authority and respect in your chosen field. Or if you have started your own business, their energy will encourage your willingness to take full responsibility for its success. Even if they are a romantic partner, they will support the extra time it takes for you to get ahead in your career.
As another example, if you tell them that you want to buy a house, they are likely to verbally support your goal. However, if you actually take charge, find the house you want, and start negotiations, they will come in behind you with whatever kind of assistance you need. This could include: contributing financially, helping you move, actively helping you plan a budget that allows you to make the payments, etc.
When you take charge and make a commitment, they will support you so that you can succeed—whatever your endeavor. They will also encourage you to take the next step and make something happen rather than just having an idea about it. For instance, one client had a friend with this nodal position. My client had had a crush on her dentist for a couple of years. Finally her friend said: “Why don’t you just ask him out?” She did, and the dentist let her know that he had a steady girlfriend. This allowed my client to move on. Taking a real step gave her the feedback she needed to go in another direction to reach her goal of finding a boyfriend.
Another way this person’s influence benefits you is that you may recognize how some of their personal qualities or aspects of their personality contribute to their success in certain areas. Then, as you begin to model those traits in your own life, your level of success increases. For example, they may exhibit specific personality traits or social skills that bring them the kind of personal life that you would like to have, and by emulating those qualities, you can create this experience for yourself.
Whenever you need support in carving out a niche for yourself in the world—if your goals are clear—consult this person. Most often, the advice they give you will be accurate and their approach will make sense to you and fit your own natural style. By accepting their gift and allowing them to support you in taking charge in new and more effective ways, you simultaneously bring out the best in them and your appreciation opens a channel through which Love can flow between you.
AUTHORITY FIGURES—Someone with this nodal position will help you learn to relate to authority figures with greater comfort and effectiveness. This might include your boss, your father or mother, those you hold in high esteem, or those you feel have authority over you. If this person is your boss, then through your relationship with them you will find a more balanced and healthy way of interacting with authority figures than you have experienced in the past.
They will help you heal any negative patterns in this area. For instance, a woman who had a strained relationship with her father and has consequently had problems with men might attract a man with this nodal position who could help her heal from her past. It would be a relationship where she learns to interact with this person without projecting that he is some type of authority figure that she “can’t get past.” Through your relationship with them you can work out any negative father karma—or mother karma, if she was the authority figure—and heal it.
In fact in a relationship, this person may personify qualities similar to your father or mother, and this may be the unconscious basis of your attraction. As the relationship unfolds, they may evoke emotions in you that are out of proportion to the current situation—as you begin reacting to them as though they were your parent. However, because of their nodal position, you have the opportunity to respond openly, realize that you are reacting to the past and not the present, and then make a conscious choice to shift your behavior. In this way you can begin to heal any scars in your psyche that resulted from your relationship with your parent, and also regain confidence in your ability to take charge in emotional situations.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of helping you focus on your goals and take responsibility for creating success, this person will inadvertently drain energy from the area of emotional intimacy. In fact, it can be challenging to even let this person know how you feel about something. Most likely they won’t be receptive to your feelings, or else they’ll go on a “power trip” and either put you down or try to use what you say to their advantage. This is because in order to direct the energy in a way that inspires your authority, they tend to discount any needs you have for dependency, and will not support you if you come from this position. For example, if you say, “I just don’t think I can make these travel reservations by myself,” they probably won’t come to your rescue. However, if you say, “I need to get these travel arrangements in place by Wednesday. Will you help me by finding the best rates?” they are much more likely to cheerfully give you a hand.
This person is not especially interested in understanding your feelings or fears except to help you rise above them. If you become emotional, they will probably shut down or get angry with you, but when you present things in terms of a goal, they can hear you. For instance, if you say, “I’m so upset about this misunderstanding at work, I just don’t know what to do,” they are likely to be irritable with you. However, you can come from a position of taking responsibility by saying: “This misunderstanding at work is most upsetting. I need to figure out how to approach my boss so she won’t think that I’m not doing my job.” Then they can be supportive and help you come up with the best plan. They can relate to you as an equal when you clearly outline your goal and ask them to help you achieve it.
Although this person gives you excellent advice about your career, they are not particularly good real estate karma for you. In fact, they may be negative about a house that would really be a good investment for you, or encourage you to buy one that is not a good choice. Nor are they able to give you good advice on decorating your home. Your best bet is to avoid asking for their counsel in any decisions related to real estate.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. Someone with this nodal position is not naturally sympathetic to your feelings or where you are coming from, but they will be very supportive if you clearly state your goal. For example, I have a client whose father has this nodal position. For years my client had felt misunderstood
, criticized, and unsupported by his father, and he didn’t trust him. Nevertheless, his father’s energy had helped my client to become very financially successful in a business partnership with him. They eventually sold the business for a huge profit that enabled them both to live very comfortably.
After the sale, the father asked: “Well, son, what are you going to do next?” My client wanted to honestly say: “Dad, I’m tired and just need to rest. And I don’t know yet what my next direction should be.” However, he knew from past experience that this approach would only invite criticism. So I suggested, “Tell him that since you’ve just gotten married, your goal for the next year is to really get to know your wife and build a strong foundation for your marriage.” And with that approach his dad was very supportive. Toward the end of the year the father asked again: “Son, what are you going to do with your life now?” My client’s wife had recently found out she was pregnant, so I advised him to say: “Dad, we have a baby coming and I’m going to take the next year to support my wife and really appreciate the experience of being a father. I want to give my child a lot of love and attention so he or she develops a solid foundation.” Again, when my client expressed his needs in terms of a goal, he was able to get his father’s support.
Since this person is in your life to help you clarify and accomplish your goals, by presenting your feelings in the form of a constructive goal you open the way for them to be able to hear you and support you. If you say, “This is how I feel,” they won’t be able to hear you. But if you rephrase it to “This is my goal in the situation,” they can respond to you in a positive way. The idea is to translate your needs and/or feelings into one positive goal after another that this person can relate to and support. Even if you’re feeling tremendously fearful about something, you can communicate your insecurity to them without negative repercussions by presenting it in the framework of a goal. For instance: “You know I feel insecure about leaving this home and buying a new one, so right now my goal is to overcome this issue so I can move forward.”