by Jan Spiller
Or if you say, “I’m so upset; I’ve gained ten pounds over the last six months,” they probably won’t be empathetic. However, if you say, “I’ve decided to lose weight and establish my weight at 145 pounds,” they will be solidly in your corner and help you to attain that goal. They’ll say the right things and remind you in key moments to “stay on track” in a way that inspires you, and their influence will increase your success. Their gift is to support you by helping you to identify and reach goals that are important to you and teach you how to approach situations from an energetic position of taking charge rather than from a position of neediness.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences relative to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 10th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
This Soul is a longtime family member from past lives who blocked your worldly goals and ambitions through binding you to the family and keeping you confined in the home in some way. It may have been a marriage and family situation, but there was a feeling of enslavement and being forced to live in a world that was too small for your innate personality and talents. You were probably the “power behind the throne,” totally supportive of this person who was out in the world displaying their talents and receiving all the recognition.
So this is a payback lifetime for them, and their contract with you in this incarnation is to disentangle the unhealthy dependency and expectations that they were responsible for creating with you in the past, so that they can help you reconnect with your power. To this end, they feel compelled to push you out of the nest and support you in using your talents and abilities in the larger world. Now, even if they don’t understand what it is you are offering or why it is important, they will support you in gaining public acceptance.
If you clearly state goals that you want to manifest, this person can give you the inner strength and “permission” for attaining success—that is the gift they are bringing you. And you have drawn them into your life because you are ready to take charge and demonstrate your leadership and management talents to others.
When their North Node is in your 11TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
FRIENDSHIP—When a person’s North Node falls in your 11th House, they are in your life because you need to experience the benefits of friendship. Their gift is to teach you how to receive love and increase the feeling of equality in your relationships. In the exchange of Love, the polarities of giving and receiving must both be activated for the flow of energy to nourish both people. Sometimes we become so wrapped up in giving love to others—in terms of errands, household chores, and daily duties—that we lose touch with our ability to be on the receiving end.
The art of receiving love goes beyond the ways we traditionally expect others to show their love for us (i.e., remembering birthdays, favorite rituals, etc.). It is really about appreciating the ways that others demonstrate their caring for us according to the uniqueness of their own nature, and our ability to spontaneously receive and acknowledge their gifts. If you are stuck on the polarity of giving love and have forgotten how to open yourself to graciously receiving it, this person will help you remember.
One way they may do this is by bringing surprises into your life. A lover may bring flowers or a gift just because they were thinking of you; a friend may call with a loving insight that brightens your day. Whatever this person’s specific influence, in some way their presence helps to activate your ability to receive Love—simply by being yourself.
A person with this nodal position can be your best friend. Even if you don’t see them often, when you do connect it’s like you’ve never been apart. They may not demonstrate their friendship by taking care of you or promoting dependency, but they will always be an incredible source of encouragement and invaluable insights that can help you in any difficult situation. Even if they are your romantic partner, the relationship will work best if it is based on a strong sense of friendship. They will not let you get away with displays of willfulness, role playing, or childish attitudes. However, if you approach them with honesty and a sense of equality, they can support you in making your dreams come true.
When you are having a problem, this person is unsurpassed as an objective ally. Their unbiased viewpoint can pull you back from the immediacy of the situation to allow things to unfold on their own. In this way they have a good influence on your timing. You evoke their keen discrimination, which sees your situation from a unique perspective, helping you to gain clarity and resolution in your own mind.
The Universe has sent this person across your path because you need to strengthen the qualities of friendship in your personality at this time, and bring a greater feeling of equality to your relationships with others. In receiving their gift by relating to them as an equal and a friend, you benefit your own life and simultaneously bring out the best in them.
OBJECTIVITY: SEEING THE BIG PICTURE—Another reason someone with this nodal position is in your life is to help you gain insight that will enable you to view situations and events with an expanded awareness that can keep you from becoming lost in your own personal will or ego. Their perspective on your life problems provides the objectivity that empowers you to transcend any limitations you are experiencing due to ego involvement. For example, if you are having problems with a child, or in your primary relationship, they can point out where the other players in the situation are in terms of their personal growth, life situations, goals, etc. They say, “Well, he may be thinking ____ because ____,” and then suddenly you see that the situation makes sense, and you are released from the internal anxiety of not understanding what was going on. This allows you to relax, let things be, and cooperate with the natural flow of events when appropriate, rather than always feeling like you have to immediately “do something” to control the outcome.
We all have unresolved judgments about life, ourselves, and other people that manifest as stumbling blocks to creating what we desire. These misconceptions have been jumbling around in your psyche your whole life, but you can’t really identify or resolve them on your own. A person whose North Node is in your 11th House will say one little phrase and suddenly you have that “aha” experience that allows you to see the larger objective view that can permanently free you from these past psychological limitations. So someone with this nodal position would be a good therapist, astrologer, or mentor for you.
Another area of your life where this person can be extremely helpful is that they recognize how your talents and skills can benefit larger groups. They will naturally support you in any way that can improve your ability to function as part of the group. They are aware of your rightful place in groups or organizations, and if there is an area where you could be more effective, their insights can help you improve your position in a way that feels more comfortable. They are good networking karma for you, so if there is a particular group you have been wanting to join, this person can probably facilitate access. They also feel drawn to promote your expansion into a larger arena so that your talents can be seen and recognized by others.
DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS—There is a mutual helpfulness with this nodal position, and a desire to support each other in attaining your dreams. This person can see what’s really important to you. For example, maybe you always wanted a happy marriage, but have experienced so many encounters that led to emotional pain that you have given up on that dream. If this person can see that a happy marriage is part of your destiny and is still what your heart desires, they will continue to encourage you.
They may point out how old beliefs or other unconscious factors—such as problems from your childhood—kept you from succeeding in the past. And they do it in a way that enables you to let go of these self-sabotaging patterns. When they help you see that you now have
a chance for success, you are empowered to take action that can successfully manifest your dream.
Also, if one of your aspirations is to become involved in some type of humanitarian project—such as protecting animals, feeding the poor, or providing shelter for the homeless—rather than discounting the importance of these issues in your life, this person will help you gain the confidence you need to take action. They will directly support any desires you have to benefit society, especially any unorthodox ideas that include a larger view of social reform. They may provide ideas that can help get your message out to a greater audience, and will even make sure that you have the free time you need to pursue the causes you believe will benefit humankind as a whole.
A person with this nodal position makes you aware of your unique potential and what is really important to you. They don’t let you forget your dreams, or feel that they are unimportant or unreachable. Their gift is the objective knowledge you need to help you realize your dreams by tuning you in to the larger picture of what is going on. Then you have the opportunity to come into alignment with the circumstances in your life and successfully navigate the situations that arise. They make you aware of how lucky you are, and how the Universe is working in your life.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—When you turn on a lamp that is plugged into an electrical outlet, you are pulling power from one place (the power lines coming into the home) and rerouting it to another place (the lamp). And in this same way, as this person enables you to more deeply enjoy friendship, and helps you develop your ability to see the “Big Picture” and “go with the flow,” they inadvertently drain energy from your will to take creative action. They likely are not good children karma for you. They may not encourage you to have children, or inadvertently give you bad advice about any children you may already have.
Someone with this nodal position is naturally sensitive to what you want, and will do what they can to support you in attaining it. However, although their insights about what’s happening in various situations are correct, they are not good with the nuts and bolts of how to reach the end goal. In fact, they are likely to inadvertently give you bad advice about taking action—especially in terms of your love affairs, your children, your creative projects, and other areas of your life where your passionate nature is involved.
Your best bet is to ask for their insights regarding any issue you’re dealing with—since they can show you components that may be hidden from you—but to discount their advice about what action to take. Especially in terms of creative projects, their advice could result in delays. With a love affair, they can show you the larger picture and give you the objective information you need, including how the situation looks to the other person, or a particular character trait that you need to strengthen. However, in terms of how to actively move the relationship forward, ignore their advice and follow your own heart to bring about the results you desire.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. If someone’s North Node falls in your 11th House, one of their purposes is to activate the expression of friendship and equality within your personality. So when you approach them from a position of objective friendship and interact with them as an equal—just one person to another—they can hear you. However, if you approach them in the context of a role—i.e., wife to husband, employer to employee, parent to child—they won’t be able to respond to you in a positive way.
This is a very honest relationship, and playing a role doesn’t work with this person. Even if they are your parent, it could be to your advantage to stop addressing them as “Mom” or “Dad.” For instance, try calling your mom by her first name, or an affectionate nickname, such as: “Hey, Pretty Lady,” or “Hey, Ms. _____.” This will help establish a feeling of equality and friendship, which will bring out the best in both of you.
If your child has this nodal position, your best bet is to think of them as your friend and explain things as an equal. If you order them around: “Go to your room until you can be pleasant company!” they will probably be uncooperative. Try talking to them privately and sharing the “Big Picture” of what you’re trying to create: “Look, we’ve all had a tough day and we need to help one another out by being nice so we can have a fun evening.” Then they are more likely to hear you and want to cooperate.
If you get too much into the romance or fantasy of the situation with a spouse or lover whose North Node is in your 11th House, the communication is likely to break down. If you cast them in the role of “my boyfriend/girlfriend,” “my husband/wife,” etc., your subconscious expectations about that role will limit the possibilities of the relationship. But if you share your ideas and life goals with them in the spirit of camaraderie, they are likely to understand you, give you valuable insights, and do their best to cooperate with you.
Whether this person is your child, spouse, friend, or employer, by accepting their gift and approaching them in the spirit of friendship, equality, and objective self-disclosure, you simultaneously bring out the best in each other.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 11th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past life, this person probably recognized your natural glamour and ability to enliven others and somehow selfishly directed your charismatic energy to their own personal enjoyment rather than honoring your unique nature and the dreams you had for your life. Perhaps they forced or lured you away from your dreams and introduced you to a life of personal pleasure and sexuality. Other examples could be a ruler who purchased a young girl from her parents, or a duchess who chose a mate because he fit the role of the duke she wanted to create.
In this type of situation, it’s easy to see how the way you played your “role” determined your value to those who had power over you. This may have caused a permanent misunderstanding in your psyche that is still affecting you in your current life. Because they were at least partly responsible for creating this situation, they are here to repay their debt to you in this incarnation. They will show you how to take back your power and prevent people from relating to you through the filter of a role.
They are uniquely equipped to restore your sense of freedom, and will do whatever it takes to prevent you from becoming rigidly defined by any one role or by the expectations of others. They will encourage your individuality, including that part of your nature that desires to live beyond conventional expectations. In addition, they feel compelled to discover your dreams and aspirations and to actively support you in pursuing them. Since in the past they dominated you and used your talents for their own gain, in this life they have the means to help you succeed in manifesting your goals. And as you graciously allow them to enrich your life in this way, you both win.
When their North Node is in your 12TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
SOLITUDE AND SERENITY—If someone who plays a significant role in your life has their North Node in your 12th House, it’s time for you to pull back from an outer material focus and the hectic activity of daily life, in order to become more closely aligned with your inner spiritual self. This person is in your life to help you increase your awareness of the self-sustaining nourishment and wellspring of inspiration that is only available to you in solitude. They support your having time to yourself so that you can rejuvenate and reconnect with your Higher Power and the spiritual protection surrounding you. Someone with this nodal position will be totally supportive of your need for rest and privacy. They will want to help facilitate a situation where you don’t have to work all the time. In fact, if this is your mate, they are likely to want to be the sole financial support of the family. However, they
will happily encourage any activity or occupation you want to pursue that is compatible with solitude—such as writing, painting, mystical knowledge, or any form of the arts.
This person may expose you to soothing spiritual views, or be an influence that prompts you to explore spiritual avenues as a means of gaining serenity. Their influence can also help you learn to be “in the world but not of it”—in touch with a spiritual serenity while doing mundane tasks. For instance, if they are your boss, they may give this gift by constantly saying: “Take a break—you’re working too hard!” Or they may do it in reverse, by working you so hard that you finally decide to “let go and let God”—releasing the tension and just doing the best you can. In this case, through their demands to produce more work than is possible, they inadvertently give you the gift of learning how to participate in work constructively without being totally caught up in it.
A person with this nodal position will put you in touch with who you really are—bringing you the gift of authenticity. They may help you see this consciously, or they may prompt you into this awareness by showing you a way to “be in the world” that isn’t who you are at all. Then, when their way doesn’t work for you, it acts as a catalyst for you to discover your own way. Their influence will also pinpoint your hidden weaknesses and strengths, and help you see any behaviors that are counterproductive to attaining your goals. Their influence shows you the inner workings of your own psyche so that you can gain awareness of the internal causes that have contributed to your suffering. They don’t actually give you any advice about it—their presence just has that effect. When you are with this person, you will become conscious of the areas where you still engage in self-sabotaging patterns that keep you from experiencing success, and will see how you can make adjustments within yourself that will allow your life to become more workable.