Never Again, No More 4
Page 10
“No, baby, he may have a gun,” I said nervously.
Gavin stopped short, and the guy turned around in the middle of the street and yelled, “Follow me if you want to, white boy. You need to stick to your own kind and leave our women alone.”
He took off around the corner, and Gavin and I looked at each other with the same thought. Tony. Damn Charice straight to hell. She called it, and I should’ve heeded her warning.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, giving me the once-over.
“I’m fine. I’m just pissed that dude brought that shit to my house.”
“Ol’ son of a bitch.” Gavin wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and looked at his car. I walked up behind him and hugged him around the waist.
“I’m so sorry. I hope this isn’t Tony.”
“Who the fuck else could it be, Meka?” Gavin asked, looking back at me. “The muthafucka asked you to be his girl again, and you didn’t do that, so you could be with me. Who the hell else would have such a problem with our relationship that they’d send someone to bust windows out of my car, someone who neither one of us knows, and yet he knows our business? Come on now.”
He was right. I couldn’t believe Tony would send someone to fuck with Gavin like this. That wasn’t going to make me want him any more, and trying to make me fearful sure as hell wasn’t going to make me go running into his arms. It wasn’t going down like that. For one, he wasn’t messing with my man. For two, he wasn’t going to disrupt my place of peace and cause trouble for me in my new neighborhood.
“Are you all okay?” my neighbor, Mr. Jim, asked as he came around the corner. “I heard a commotion.”
I waved at him. “Some young punk just vandalized my boyfriend’s car. I think he was trying to steal it,” I lied. He was an older retired serviceman, and I didn’t want him to assume we were being rowdy because we were young.
He frowned. “Young punks! We have to have an association meeting now. We’ve never had an issue with break-ins, but then, Gavin’s car is pretty fancy,” Mr. Jim commented. “We’re not gonna have this kind of activity start up now, though. Do you need me to call the police?”
“No, Mr. Jim. We have it,” Gavin answered.
“Okay. Well, let me know the outcome. I’ll make sure to send an email to the president of the association so we can get this under control now,” he said before he walked back toward his house.
Gavin shook his head and looked at me. “Damn. Now the whole damn neighborhood is gonna know,” he said angrily.
“I know,” I said, hitting my forehead. “Let me grab the phone to call the police. I told you men bring drama.”
He looked at me. “And like I said, women start it.”
I disappeared into the house to grab the phone. What an ending to such a beautiful moment.
Chapter 7
Aldris
For the past two hours, I’d been at work, staring at my computer screen. What I hoped to get accomplished, I didn’t know. My eyes felt like hot sauce was in them. I was so exhausted. When I looked at myself in the mirrored edge of the picture frame on my desk, I saw that I looked like certified hell. My eyes had dark circles around them, my beard had grown out, and my tie in no way matched the damn suit I had on. I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck and my life was literally in shambles. I was behind on my workload, and I didn’t even give a shit. I felt like shit. My life was shit.
My supervisor knocked on my door.
“Come in, Emory,” I said and spilled my remaining coffee on my pant leg. Great.
“Man, what’s going on with you? Are you okay?” Emory asked, shutting the door and rushing to give me napkins.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just making a mess.” I stood up, wiped my pant leg, and threw the napkins in the trash. Emory sat down in the chair in front of my desk.
“You look a mess too. Do you have the report I asked you for yesterday?”
I looked over at him and shook my head. “No. I’m sorry, man.”
He exhaled. “I know this isn’t you, so I’m going to give you a pass, but I need you to be straight with me. What’s going on? I can’t have your back if I don’t know why you’re looking and slacking off like this.”
I sat down. “It’s personal, man.”
“Problems with the soon-to-be wifey?”
I rubbed my face. “Yeah, man.”
“Then take some time off to do what you need to do. You have it. I’d rather you leave and come back refreshed than sit here, depressed and aggravated, while costing the company money and risking your job.”
“The job is the only thing keeping my mind off of it,” I confessed.
“Apparently not, because your performance is below mediocre,” he replied, slapping me with the hard truth. After a beat, he stood and rested a hand on my shoulder as a show of compassion. “Listen, Aldris, you’re using your job to hide from handling the issue. Do us both a favor and take the time. Now, I’m not suggesting it. I’m demanding it. You’re my man, a hundred grand, but I will not let you ruin yourself like this. Lucinda is a great woman. She’ll understand, and you’ll work it out. Take a week, and then if you need more time, holler at me,” he said. Then he turned and left the room.
As he exited my office, my eyes darted from the door to the family photo of Nadia, Lucinda, and me on my desk. I picked up the frame and held it to my chest, and a lump of emotion formed in my throat. “What did you do, Aldris?” I said aloud to myself.
Swiping a lone tear, I put the picture down. I brought my computer to life to set up my out-of-office manager message on my office email. Then I emailed Emory, confirming that I’d be out for a week and detailing what work I hadn’t completed. Once I had set my voicemail for my leave of absence, I left the building and headed home.
My drive home was unpleasant. I took the scenic route, since the last place I wanted to be was at the house. Home was supposed to be the neutral zone, the comfort zone, the heart zone. But not for me. Not anymore. When I got home, I changed clothes and lay down on my sofa, trying to force my mind not to remember, but my eyes filled with tears. The dam finally broke, and I wailed from my pain. I still smelled her scent on the throw pillows. I hugged them. My mind refused to forget. It floated back to three days ago, the day Lucinda left me. . . .
I sat up in bed and looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings, and then I began rubbing my eyes, as if this would change what I was seeing. My head was banging.
“Where the fuck am I?” I groaned.
“At my house,” Jennifer said plainly.
Startled, I jumped and looked at her. A blanket was over me, but I was stark naked. “Wait. Did we? Did I? Oh, shit! Tell me we didn’t,” I said, feeling frantic.
With her arms folded, she shook her head. “I knew I shouldn’t have confessed my feelings to you. That’s what I get for confiding in a drunk!”
“What?” I screamed. “What the fuck are you telling me?”
“I thought you were feeling something for me, Aldris, so I did what I had vowed not to do. I told you how I felt, and we had sex. Only, I told you I loved you, and you told me you loved Lucinda,” she yelled, throwing a pillow at me.
“Can you please stop yelling?” I asked, holding my head. “This shit is thumping.”
She sat in the chair across from me, with her coffee in her hand and her robe wrapped around her. “Aldris, you need to make up your mind. Do you want me or Lucinda?”
“Wait a minute! Gawd damn it. I was drunk, Jenn. How the fuck you gonna call me out on some drunken shit? I love Lucinda.”
“Apparently not,” she said condescendingly.
“Shit,” I said, hitting my forehead. “Ouch.”
“So, what was last night?” she asked with an attitude.
“Last night I was drunk.” Scooting forward, I focused my attention on her so that she could fully grasp what I was saying. “Listen, I care about you Jennifer, yes. A part of me will always love you, true. But I love Lucinda. I’m
in love with her. That’s my fiancée, and she’s going to be my wife.”
She stood up and let her robe fall open. “So you can give this up?”
No lie. For a moment, I was mesmerized. “Oh, shit.” I shook my head to clear the impure thoughts that quickly tried to invade my headspace. “I can’t believe this shit.”
“Well, can you?”
I stood up and retrieved my clothing. “Jennifer, you’re fine as hell. No man could resist having all of that, but I’m not even supposed to be seeing that to try to resist it. I have an obligation to Lu because I love her. Please, stop.”
Her face contorted as she fell back into her seat. The befuddled look on her face spoke volumes, but her next words took me by surprise. “You finally made a choice. Wow. You chose her.” She lifted sad eyes to me. “I never came into this trying to hook back up with you. I just thought after last night . . .” She paused and swallowed. “You’ve made your choice.”
After slipping on my clothes, I walked over to her. “Jenn, I’m sorry. I’ve been unfair to you, and I know that you may have residual feelings for me. I didn’t mean to bring up old feelings. I can’t apologize enough to you.”
She absorbed my words and then threw her hands up in concession. “I can’t even be mad at that. I’m woman and adult enough to know the rules of the game. At least it’s more than I got when we were first together. I’m sorry that I crossed the line, knowing you were engaged to Lucinda. She deserves better.”
With my hands steepled, I closed my eyes in humble appreciation. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I was walking over to her mirror to fix my clothes when it hit me. “What time is it?”
“Seven thirty.”
“At night?” I asked, buckling my pants.
Her eyes pierced me. “Uh, no, Aldris. In the morning.”
I felt as if the blood drained from my body, and I fell back a few steps as her words settled in. “In . . . the . . . the . . . m-morning,” I stuttered. “You’re lying.”
“Afraid not. I just got up ten minutes ago.”
“Oh, shit.” I hit my forehead with my fist. “Please don’t tell Lu that I was here. Please. She’s gonna kill me,” I yelled, grabbing my cell phone and keys. “Please let this whole thing stay between us. Please.”
“No worries. I won’t tell if you don’t.”
“Thank you.”
Without wasting another second, I ran out of her house like a bat out of hell and headed to mine. A million and one thoughts ran through my head as I looked at the ten missed phone calls I had from Lucinda. Shit! I couldn’t even tell her that I was at my mom’s or Mike’s house, because she’d probably already checked with them. Knowing that I’d pissed both of them off and that they were both in Lucinda’s corner, I realized they wouldn’t hesitate to announce that they hadn’t seen me. I also thought of telling her I was with Rod, but she knew Alize personally. I couldn’t guarantee that Alize would stand behind a lie for me even if Rod asked her to, so I went with the half-truth plan: I got drunk at the bar—truth. And I fell asleep in the car—half-truth.
I did fall asleep in the car. I just wasn’t there all night. I prayed that I could keep a straight enough face to pass this off as the truth, because I already knew that this was going to be the battle to end all battles. I still was in the middle of Hurricane Lucinda, and now I had this on top of it. By now, she had to have been upgraded to a damn category five.
“Lord, if you’re real, please let me live through this,” I prayed as I got out of my car and walked into the house through the garage. “No gunshots or baseball bats. Good so far,” I mumbled aloud as I checked our bedroom, which was untouched.
I walked into Nadia’s room, which was also untouched. Then I headed into the living room. I paused when I saw Lucinda’s back. She was sitting up on the sofa, waiting. Waiting for me.
“You’re home,” she said, without turning around.
I slowly walked farther into the living room and around the sofa to stand directly in front of her. “Hey,” I said sheepishly.
She looked up. Her face was marred by tiredness. “Hey,” she barely mumbled. “So you decided to come home, huh?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t know if . . . uh . . . I could or not.”
“Fair enough. I did kick you out.”
Stunned, I could only stare at her for a moment. That was not Lucinda. She was too calm. Way too calm. Something was up. “You did, but I know it was for the best at the time.”
She looked down and then looked back up at me. “So, did you get my calls?”
“I did. I didn’t get them until this morning, though. I . . . uh . . . I was drunk.”
“Yeah, I could smell the alcohol on you as you came in.”
“Yeah, I was pretty faded,” I confirmed. I put in my plea quickly. “But I’m home now, and we can talk as much as you want. I honestly see what you were saying and, Lucinda, I want you to know that I am devoting my all to making our relationship stronger again.”
She exhaled deeply. “That’s great.”
“And I just—”
“Aldris, where were you last night?”
She’d caught me off guard with the sudden question, so I rattled off my answer quickly. “Baby, you wouldn’t believe it, but I went to the bar, and I got drunk. Man, I was so faded. The bartender wouldn’t even serve me any more drinks. So I actually ended up sleeping in my car.”
“Really?” she asked in amazement.
“Yep,” I answered confidently.
She stood up. “Aldris, tell me the truth, please. Where were you?”
“Baby, I told you—”
She put her hand up as a single bloated tear formed and slid down her cheek. “No. I mean after the bar. Please, just tell me the truth. I need to know where you were last night, Aldris,” she said, clearly trying to keep her voice strong despite the impending tears.
“Baby, I . . . I told you . . . I told you where I was,” I lied.
She huffed. “Please! Do not patronize me. If you don’t do anything else for me, tell me the truth. I deserve it. I need to hear it for myself. I’m begging you,” she cried.
“Baby, I can explain—”
“Aldris,” she hollered.
With my hands out in front of me, I lifted my open palms, begging her to listen. “I can explain it to you. I just need you to listen first.” I had to let her know that I loved her and that what I did was a mistake.
She threw her hands up. “Last chance. Just tell me,” she pleaded, her tone steady.
We stood there staring at each other. It felt like I was in General Custer’s last stand. My palms sweated, and I could hear my heart racing in my ears. My breathing turned shallow as I realized that I was not going to get away with my half-truth plan. Looking into Lucinda’s face was like staring directly at pain. I could literally feel all the pent-up hurt and anguish that I’d brought to her life over these past few months. I couldn’t hurt her any further by lying. So I gave her what she needed . . . the whole truth.
I sucked in air, hoping that we could survive this news. “I was at Jennifer’s house,” I confessed.
She fell back a couple of steps, as if the truth had knocked the wind out of her. Then she composed herself and calmly asked, “Did you sleep with her?”
Now I was in panic mode. I’d already admitted to more than I’d wanted to, and God only knew how this would end up if I admitted the entire truth to her. I tried to stall. “I slept over there . . . yeah.”
She put her hands together, as if she was begging me for the answer. “Aldris, please. Don’t do this. Please.” She took a deep breath. “Did you have sex with Jennifer last night?” she asked outright. “All I want is the truth.”
“Lucinda, let me explain something—”
“No. Aldris. No,” she bellowed. Her patience was waning by the second. “No explanations. No excuses. No detours and road maps. It’s a simple yes-or-no question. Yes or no?”
Her sharp glare halted the words coming out of mouth. “Yes or no, Aldris?”
How could I resist eyes that were pleading with me to tell her the truth? It was weird, because I could tell she honestly wanted to know the real deal, but it was as if her soul was ripping in half. Mine was too. I had never wanted this to happen to us. As I stared at her, I was scared for my life, for our life together, but I had no choice. I had to tell the truth. I’d never wanted to be that man that lied and hurt Lu, so I admitted my wrongdoings.
With a heart full of sorrow and a soul full of regret, I answered, “Yes.”
That one word flicked the light off in her soul. She closed her eyes and held her chest as two tears fell. Then she opened her eyes and stared at me for what felt like eternity. “Thank you,” she barely managed to say. “I needed to hear that from you. I needed it for myself. Thank you.”
I rushed to close the gap between us. I didn’t give a damn if she fought me. I deserved it. As long as she said she’d forgive me, I’d take anything she dished out. She folded her arms.
“Lucinda, I can explain. Baby, I love you so much. I know I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, but I was so drunk and hurt that I did the unthinkable. But, baby, I understand everything you said to me yesterday, and if you just give me a chance, I’ll make it right between us. I promise I will do that for you.”
Standing on her tiptoes, she reached up and kissed me on the cheek. “I hear you,” she said, and I pulled her into my arms and held on as if my life depended on it.
“Lu, I’m so sorry, baby. I love you, and I’m so glad that you forgive me,” I said as my emotions welled up. “So sorry.”
She pulled back and wiped her tears with her hands, and then she asked me to excuse her. When she turned away, I silently thanked God for the reprieve. I was so grateful that we’d survived, and she’d decided to give me another chance, but when she returned, she had two big suitcases in each hand and her purse.