Never Again, No More 4

by Untamed

  “No, what you’re not going to do is curse in my house. That’s number one. Secondly, I’m not asking you to like it. I don’t care if you do or don’t. I’m telling you it is what it is, because it’s my life and my decision. You don’t know what’s been going on over here, because you’ve been living your life with Aldris in your own home,” she said, fuming, before providing further explanation. “I didn’t just accept your father back. He had to prove himself. Jose and he are getting very close. He’s being a male figure of support to the boys. He helps me around the house. He’s taking care of the bills, not me. He pampers me. He even joined the church a couple of Sundays ago. He’s changing, Lucinda, and if you stop being hateful toward him because things didn’t work out between you and Aldris, you’d see that.”

  Right after her statement, my dad walked into the kitchen. “Good morning, ladies,” he said before walking over to my mom and kissing her on the cheek. “I think.”

  “Good morning, baby. Do you want some coffee?” my mom asked, smiling at him.

  “Sure, baby.” He kissed her on the lips. “But you are all the morning fix I need.”

  “Aw,” my mom gushed and hugged him.

  My stomach turned at the sight. I picked up the paper to hide my disdain. “Emilio, do you mind if I take the Homes and Apartments section? I have to find a place to stay ASAP.”

  He turned to face me. “No, I don’t, Lucinda. Do you mind if I talk to you in private for a moment?”

  “I’m really busy, and I was gonna—”

  “It’ll only take a moment. Please.”

  I nodded. “Sure.”

  He held out his hand, indicating that I should go out on the back porch. I walked outside, with him right behind me. He shut the door to give us privacy.

  “Look, Lucinda, I’ll get to the point. I know you don’t trust me, and you have every reason not to, but I’m still your father. I love you, even though I haven’t shown it in recent years. I want to try to make up for that, but at the same time, I want you to respect the decision that your mom and I made to be a couple again. I’ve realized that everything I thought I had to search for was with me all the time, and I just want to be happy and make your mom happy.”

  “So, what do you want from me?”

  “Your respect and support.”

  “Whatever, dude.”

  “Lucinda—”

  “Do whatcha like. I have my own issues. Are you done?”

  He paused for a beat, but when he saw that I hadn’t backed down from my position, he caved. “I guess so.”

  “Thanks.” I walked back in the house. “Mom, are you going anywhere anytime soon?”

  “No. I’m just going to be working in the garden.”

  “Is it okay if I leave Nadia here?”

  “She’s living here, isn’t she?”

  “She’s still my responsibility.”

  “Lucinda, I’m here to help you. Me and your father. We have her. Go take care of what you need,” my mom said as my father sat down beside her.

  I rushed off to jump in the shower. I had to get out of this United States of Hell. Once I was dressed, I left to view a couple of apartments and one house, but none of them were what I really wanted. I was tired and frustrated, and I needed someone to talk to. Just as I had that thought, I passed by a set of condos and turned in. After pulling up to unit E, I eased out of my vehicle and knocked on the door.

  “Lucinda?” Mike answered, both surprised and seemingly excited about my impromptu visit.

  “Hey. Are you busy?”

  “No. I’m here just chillin’ out today. Come in.” He stepped back, allowing me inside.

  While entering his condo, I looked back over my shoulder and said, “Thanks.”

  Once inside, we sat in the living room.

  “I haven’t heard from or seen you since you were looking for Aldris. I’ve been worried as hell. I haven’t heard from either one of you, and neither one of you has answered my phone calls. What the hell is going on?” he said, full of concern.

  That was when I couldn’t take it. Everything inside crashed down, and the dam that I’d tried to hold together finally broke. I fell over in a heap of tears. Mike picked me up and sat me next to him, his powerful arms around me, and I snuggled close. There were no words spoken. He simply held me for what seemed like hours as I purged all my heartache on him.

  Once my verbal cries ceased, Mike spoke. “Everything is going to be okay. I’m here.” He stroked circles on my back. “I’m here.”

  With wet eyes, I looked up at him. “He slept with her. He slept with Jennifer.”

  “What?” Confusion was splayed across his face.

  “That night after the birthday party. He was at her house, and they had sex. He admitted it to me. I saw his car there, and he admitted it. We broke up. I hate him,” I said around garbled cries.

  His embrace tightened. “It’s okay. Don’t talk. Just let it out.”

  For the next thirty minutes, I lay on Mike’s sofa, with my head in his lap, as he stroked my hair and I cried. I’d gone through half of his box of tissues, and I was completely exhausted.

  “Would you like something to drink?” he asked.

  “Water,” I said meekly and sat up. “And aspirin, if you have it.”

  He got up and brought me a bottle of water and some Motrin. “Here you go.”

  I popped three pills and drank half of the water before placing the glass down on the coffee table. I lay back down, and that was the last I remembered before jumping up again.

  “What time is it? Where am I?” I asked, looking around.

  “It’s a little after three,” I heard a voice say from across the room, and I jumped.

  I looked to my right and saw Mike sitting in his La-Z-Boy, watching basketball on television.

  “Oh my God. Did I fall asleep?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. “I must have. I feel relieved.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, after you drank some water, you were out like a light. I figured you probably needed it, so I got you a pillow and a blanket and let you rest. You were out for only a couple of hours.”

  I stretched. “Thank you. You don’t know how much I appreciate and needed that.”

  I drank the rest of my water, then reached for my purse and rummaged around until I found some gum and popped a piece in my mouth.

  “It’s no problem,” he said. “I made some tacos if you’re hungry.”

  I shook my head. “Nah. Not really.”

  “When is the last time you ate, Lucinda?”

  “Um.” I thought it over. Shrugging, I answered honestly. “I really don’t know.”

  He got up and walked over to me, took me by the hand, and walked me into the kitchen. “You’re eating. Sit,” he ordered, pointing to his breakfast table, and I did as I was told. He pulled out a plate and started assembling a taco for me. “What do you want on it?”

  “Lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and sour cream. Do you have any Bud Light?”

  “You already know,” he laughed as he reached in the fridge for a bottle, and then he brought it and the plate of tacos over to me.

  “Thank you. I didn’t mean to intrude.” The food looked and smelled so good that my stomach growled instantly. I bit into one of the tacos and scooped into my mouth a dollop of sour cream that had fallen back onto my plate. “Damn, this is really good.”

  “Your boy can burn now,” he joked as he sat in front of me. “And you’re not intruding. I’m happy you stopped by. I was worried about you, like I said.”

  I put my head down. “Yeah, I know.”

  He touched my hand. “Don’t. Just eat.”

  With a head nod, I did as he had told me. Afterward, we walked back into his living room, and I called my mom. She told me that Nadia was good and that she had her, so I decided to sit at Mike’s a little while longer. I told him the entire story, from when I found Aldris’s car at Jennifer’s house at three in the morning to our subsequent breakup later that same morning. I even
explained how I was staying with my mom and how her foolishness over accepting my dad back in her life was getting to me.

  “I don’t know, Mike. Everybody around me is just crazy. My mom is crazy, my daddy has been crazy, and Aldris—he is gonna drive me fucking crazy with his crazy ass.”

  “No, he’s not. He’s crazy, yes, but he won’t drive you crazy. You’re resilient. I see it in you. He did the absolute worst thing he could’ve possibly done, and you’re still standing.”

  “I needed to hear that.” I glanced at him and gave him a genuine smile for the first time. Then his condo’s décor caught my eye, and I looked around. “Your place is really nice.”

  “Would you like a tour?”

  “Sure.”

  We stood, and he took me through the dining room, the small playroom, his sons’ bedroom, his daughter’s bedroom, his bedroom, and then the small backyard. “It’s not a whole lot, but it’s big enough for me and my kids when they’re here.”

  “It’s lovely. You decorated it very well.”

  “I tried.”

  “You did good,” I complimented. “I was looking for a place near Nadia’s school. I didn’t realize how spacious these condos are.” I turned and admired his place again. When I turned back to face him, he was staring at me with a questionable look on his face.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  He rubbed his forehead and then stuck his hands in his pockets. “So, you’re really not going back to Aldris, huh?”

  I shook my head. “He made his choice, Mike. I made mine.”

  “But you love him.”

  “What does love have to do with it?”

  “Can you just let go like that?”

  “No, I can’t, but I have to move on.”

  “Lucinda, maybe you should—”

  My hands flailed in the air in my effort to stop him from pressuring me to reunite with his boy. “Mike, I realize that you’re Aldris’s friend first, but please spare me. He fucked up, not me, and I refuse to go back and be his doormat. I’m not the one singing ‘Shoulda, coulda, woulda’ here. All I have is my word and my pride, and I do not comprise that for nobody.”

  “Okay, hot tamale. Don’t blaze up on me. I’m just saying. I know that you love Aldris, and I know that he fucked up, but I just don’t want you to make a decision in anger now that you’ll regret later,” he said, offering his full reason behind the questions. “Oh, and I resent that ‘Aldris’s friend’ comment. I’m your friend too.”

  “Ay, I’m sorry, Mike. I’m just so stressed. I know my decision seems abrupt, but I can’t see myself going back. I just can’t.”

  “I understand. And I apologize too. You’ve been through enough, and whatever you decide should be supported, not questioned.”

  An awkward silence settled in the room; then I laughed as Mike’s comment finally hit me. “Did you just call me a hot tamale?”

  He cracked a smile. “Yeah.”

  “You’re stupid. I can’t believe you said that shit.”

  “Well, you know how you Latina girls do. You were about to set my ass on fire, so I had to put up my guard,” he teased, furthering my laughter.

  After a moment, I turned serious and placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I could never blaze up on you too bad, Bruce Leroy.”

  He rubbed my hand. “And neither could I.”

  I looked at my watch and groaned at the time. It was four thirty.

  “What?” Mike asked.

  “It’s nothing. I need to get to my mom’s house and see about Nadia. I hate it there. Nadia loves it, but if I don’t hurry up and find a place soon, I’m going to go straight postal. I can’t stand living there almost as much as I can’t stand Aldris,” I said before preparing to head to the door. “That will teach me to live with a man and give up my place.”

  Mike cleared his throat and opened his mouth as if he was going to propose something, but instead, he said, “Well . . . never mind.”

  “What?” I asked him as I grabbed my purse.

  “You’d say no.”

  “Say no to what?”

  Mike glanced at me with an unsure expression as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I was kinda thinking after you told me about that living arrangement, I mean . . . if . . . you know . . . you needed . . . you know . . . someplace to stay and all, you could . . . I mean . . . if you wanted to . . . you could . . . stay here with me,” he offered, stammering nervously.

  My mouth fell agape at his offer. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes. Since it’s temporary, you and Nadia could stay here. I’m a bachelor living by myself, and my kids are here only twice a month, on the weekends. You two would just have to share the room with my daughter during those times, but if you wanted to, you could stay. No charge.”

  “Mike, I really couldn’t intrude on you like that—”

  “See, I told you, you’d say no,” he interrupted.

  “But even if I took your offer, there’s no way I wouldn’t let you charge me.”

  “Well, if you did take my offer, if you agreed to bake me a chocolate cake and keep my fridge full of Bud Light, then that would be payment enough.”

  “What’s a case of Bud Light between friends?” I shrugged, then sat back down for a moment to ponder his suggestion. “Listen—and please don’t take offense at this—but if I agree to this, I don’t want Nadia to come with me.”

  “Okay, but why?”

  “I’m not used to having my daughter around different guys. I know we’re friends, and she knows that too, but when I lived with Aldris, she knew and respected him as her dad. I don’t want to convey the wrong message to her.”

  He smiled. “I think that is very admirable. You’re a great mom, Lu.”

  “And you’re a great friend.” I stood up to go. “I’m going to talk to my mom about Nadia staying with her until I find a spot, and if she’s cool with it, you just found yourself a roommate.”

  “Cool. Anything I can do to help.”

  “I better go. The sooner I can find out if I can get from over there, the better.”

  He walked me outside and then retrieved a key from underneath a potted plant. “Here is my spare. Just in case you want to go ahead and move and I’m not here. Or even if you just want to chill out and get away. I’m cool with that,” he told me, holding the key out to me.

  “You ain’t gon’ never get a girl with me hanging around like that,” I joked.

  He waved off my joke with a chuckle. “It doesn’t matter. Friends are forever. Besides, Gucci Mane already said, ‘Girls are like buses. Miss one, next fifteen one comin’.’”

  I cracked up laughing. “Ay, chico. You’re a mess.”

  “Besides, I’m not looking for a girl. When the time is right, God will show me the woman who is supposed to be my wifey.”

  Mike had really matured over the past year, and I admired him so much. I was so happy that we could work through our differences and become friends. Without him, I didn’t know what I would do.

  I took the key; then I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “You are so sweet and amazing. I don’t know how I could make it without your friendship.” I wiped my lip gloss from his cheek.

  Mike rubbed my cheek. “You’re pretty amazing too.”

  We said our goodbyes; then I hopped in my car and headed back to my mom’s house. When I got there, Nadia and my brother Peter were sitting at the table, eating spaghetti, and my mom was cleaning up the kitchen.

  “Thanks, Mom, for watching Nadia.”

  She smiled at me. “Don’t thank me. Thank your father. He did the majority of the babysitting while I tended to my garden. He even cooked,” she said with a smirk.

  “That’s good.” I didn’t even feel like going there with her at the moment.

  “Mami,” Nadia said excitedly as I walked up and hugged her. “You’ve been gone all day. Where have you been?”

  “Looking for places that we can live.”

  “Well, why don’t we go back and li
ve with Daddy? Are you that mad with him?”

  My mom and I exchanged glances. There was no time like the present to break it down for Nadia. She understood that I was upset with Aldris and that was why we had moved out, but she didn’t fully understand that he was no longer going to be in our lives.

  “Peter, let’s go in the other room,” my mom said to my brother.

  “I never get to hear the good stuff,” he whined as he and my mom walked out.

  I sat in the seat Peter had occupied. “Don’t you like staying at your abuela’s house?”

  She met my gaze with a toothy grin. “I love abuela’s house. And with mi abuelo here, it’s so much fun. He is funny.” She giggled, and I had to laugh. I remember being her age and feeling the same way about my father. Times had damn sure changed. “But I want to go home, to my room, and see my daddy. I miss him and Jessica.”

  Tears sprang into my eyes. I knew that she would take our breakup hard, but I had had no clue that it would truly affect her this much. “I know you do, sweetie. Maybe one day I can arrange for you to see Jessica, but Mommy and Daddy have a few things that we can’t work out together, so that’s why we moved.”

  Nadia put her head down. “We’re not going back, are we?” she asked sadly.

  I shook my head. “No, kiddo. We’re not. Daddy loves you, and I love you too, but Daddy and I just can’t be together anymore.”

  “It’s because he missed my party, isn’t it?”

  That broke my heart. With everything else that had happened, I’d completely forgotten that this course of events had happened on her birthday. All she understood was that we had ended our relationship because of her party, and that both hurt me to the core and pissed me off to the core. “No, sweetie. He would’ve been there if he could, but he had a true emergency that came up. This is about something different.” After turning her chair to face me, I cupped her face in my hands so that my next words resonated with her. “I need you to be good and to support Mommy.”