It was past dusk after she had lit a lamp and returned to her stool when she heard murmurings from outside. Her heart leaping in hope and fear, she did the one thing she was forbidden not to do, she left the chief alone.
There was a crowd of guards in the hall, moving to the solar and right in the middle of them were Ailbeart and Seonag, both looking a bit ruffled and exhausted but nonetheless fine. Lili's felt her worry drain away at the sight of him but then she remembered he was in trouble and making up her mind she followed them.
Dougal was inside the solar, seated behind the desk, looking weary but his face was hard and anger gleamed in his eyes. The guards thrust Ailbeart in and he stumbled before regaining his balance, Lili used the chance to slip inside.
“Did the two of you have a nice ride into the woods together?” Dougal demanded in a dangerous voice.
Neither of them said a word, Ailbeart looking obstinate and Seonag a bit shamefaced.
“Did you both swallow your tongue?” He went on and before he could go any further, Lili decided to make herself known.
“There ye are Ailbeart,” Lili said in a loud carrying voice. “You've found lady Seonag. Did she go to the woods like ye thought she would?”
All eyes had swung to her by her first sentence but Lili didn't let that stop her instead she sent meaningful looks towards Ailbeart whose brow furrowed in confusion before smoothening in realisation of what she was on about.
“Aye! Aye, she was.” He affirmed.
Dougal looked from Ailbeart to Lili who had come to stand by her friend, looking both angry and puzzled.
“Pray tell me what this is all about.”
“Weel master Dougal, ye see when I found out lady Seonag was missing and after I’d told ye about it, Ailbeart here asked what was going on and I told him what was wrong and he thought Lady Seonag must have ridden for the woods.”
“And why would he think that?” Dougal shot at her, a sceptical look in his eyes.
“That is because…” Ailbeart began then looked down at her for help.
“’Tis because, Lady Seonag asked for a place where she might find the prettiest of flowers she could use to brighten the chief's chambers. A bit of beauty.”
“Aye,” Ailbeart collaborated. “I told lady Seonag there was a place in the woods where flowers such as the ones she was lookin' for grow in peace.”
“Wild roses,” Seonag chimed in. “Some as dark as midnight.”
“I see,” Dougal drawled, his voice dripping with scepticism. “And why would the halfwit here be the one to tell her about it?”
“I reckon 'twill be because I ken the woods verra well, there are a lot of hidin' places there and by chance I came upon the cluster of flowers. Lady Seonag has done me kindness in the past and when she needed something I was honour bound to repay her kindness. I offered tae show it tae her but she insisted on knowin' the place so I described it tae her. I had no idea she would try on her own.”
Lili continued from there. “So ye see Master Dougal, it was my fault. I raised the alarm and sent everyone into panic.” She bowed her head in shame. “If there is to be punishment, it belongs to me.”
“None of that!” Seonag's voice was like the crack of a whip and they all gazed at her amazed that she could raise her voice. Her chin was tilted up determinedly. “If anyone deserves punishment 'tis me. I should have informed someone of where I was headed but I was afraid they'd stop me or report to ye and I wanted to be the ones to pick the flowers for father. It was foolish of me I know that and I'm sorry for worrying you but it's my mistake. And if I was truly running away I would have packed a few change of clothes, food and money won't I? And why would I run after all I am a woman wedded, I willna bring shame and dishonour to my clan by running away after the hand fasting.”
Lili thought Dougal didn't believe them one bit but there was nothing he could do, if he continued to press the fact they eloped after three people had spoken against that fact, he would seem like a fool.
“Was Seonag alone when she left the castle?” He asked from the head of the guards.
“Aye, she was.”
Sighing, he massaged his temples with his index and middle fingers. Lili knew he was stressed out and hated lying to him but she and to protect Ailbeart from himself.
“Weel, I'm sorry ye didna get to pick your flowers Seonag and ye wouldna get the chance to as ye will be leaving upon the morrow.”
“What's done is done,” Seonag said solemnly. “I would like to return to my chambers now and pack the rest of my things.”
Dougal allowed them to leave and spent a few moments looking from Lili to Ailbeart as though trying to catch something in their eyes that would tell him the true tale. He found none and dismissed them all.
Seonag was waiting outside and she waited for the guards to pass by before taking Lili's hands in hers.
“Thank ye for what ye did, I am in your debt. I was so frightened, Dougal looked so angry when he found us, I'd never seen him act that way before. Thank ye.”
“’Tis nothing my lady. I dinnae want ye or Ailbeart to be punished that's why I stepped in that way.”
“Ye've really done me a great service,” Seonag proclaimed in a whisper and kissed her cheek. She shared a lingering look with Ailbeart before leaving them for her chambers.
Lili allowed Ailbeart to gaze wistfully at her retreating figure as she knew that was the last time he would probably see her before she placed her hand on his shoulder and he gave her a sad smile.
“I should return tae the kitchen, I still have one more punishment tae escape and I believe mistress Eubh willna be lenient.”
“Aye, she wouldna.”
“Ye should return tae your charge before they find oot ye've left the ailing chief tae fend for himself.”
“That's true,” Lili said with rising urgency and though she wanted to stay with her friend and comfort him, she found herself saying goodnight and vowing within herself that she would seek him out in the morning and talk to him.
The chief was still sleeping when she got back and she was just settling on her seat when master Aodh came in.
Chapter 13
Dougal found Seonag in Lili's seat when he came at dawn to check on his father and the subject of his passion. His sister turned towards him, her eyes red and swollen from weeping, fully garbed for her travel to the McLagans lands. She was holding one of their father's thin hands delicately between hers, careful not to cause him pain.
“I hoped to find him awake,” she explained to Dougal who came to stand by her side. “I came to say goodbye before I'd have to leave.”
“I’m sure he hears your farewells.” He assured her, knowing she needed strength on this day she would begin a new journey in her life.
“How can ye tell?” She asked in a little voice. “He never opens his eyes and sometimes I think he is dead already, even though he draws breath.”
“You are the apple of his eye; I'm certain not even death would deafen him to the sound of your voice or your words. He can hear ye Seonag, take comfort and strength in that.” Dougal wished he could believe his own statement; the old man was deaf to it all as God was deaf to their entreaties to spare him.
Seonag nodded, sniffing and Dougal placed a gentle hand on her hair in a gesture of comfort.
“He is going to die isn't he? The next time I return to the castle, 'twill be on the day he is interred.”
“One cannae say what time will bring,” Dougal said sombrely evoking a sad giggle from Seonag.
“Ye sound just like father just then.” She turned, craning her neck to look at him. “Ye'll be a good chief you know, perhaps even better than father.”
Dougal said nothing to that and they both turned to watch their father sleep. As he stood he pondered on everything that had occurred. They hadn't fooled him yesterday night with their tale of wild roses and picking flowers. He knew the woods like the back of his hand and had never stumbled upon a clump of dark roses in the times he had t
ravelled through the woods. He knew his sister had tried to elope with the halfwit and to stop him from punishing the halfwit, Lili had stepped in with her outrageous tale. He had been angry, amused and proud by her actions. It was commendable that she was fiercely loyal to her friend and had tried to protect him from his wrath. In that way he was grateful she had stepped in, her tale no matter how wild it was had stemmed his rage as surely as a plug in a leaking barrel and stopped him from committing an action he was sure he would regret.
Dougal thought of the heartache his sister must be going through, married to someone she doesn't have feeling for, pining away for someone else and the subject of her affections being unable to help her. Marcus McLagan was a good man and he would make a good husband for her, sometimes later she might grow to care for him or maybe never. The future was so clouded in uncertainty, only now was fully certain. Now, he held the power to break the marriage and set his sister free, until what?
“Seonag,” he began, “about your marriage to Marcus McLagan, I…”
“It's okay brother,” Seonag said her voice soft but resolute. “’Twas mother's and father's wish for me to be married to him and I wouldna want you to break that promise now that father is sick. I will go into the McLagan clan with all the pride and honour of a Domhnall, I promise ye that Dougal.” She swore solemnly.
“Aye, that I believe of ye.”
Inhaling deeply, she stood up and rearranged her skirts. “’Twill be about time to leave I reckon. Take care of them for me.” She stepped close to him and gave him a hug. “I’ll miss ye Dougal,” she whispered into his plaid before stepping back with a trembling smile.
“I’ll miss ye too wee Seonag.” He said smiling widely for her.
“Not so wee anymore Dougal, a woman grown,” she corrected him and he inclined his head. “Ye might want to send for Lili, I sent her to go pick flowers in the garden to have a time alone with father. She must have understood my need to say farewell, she has been gone for an hour.” Seonag informed him.
“I will send someone for her,” he said even though his instinct was screaming at him to go fetch her himself.
Seonag gave him a sad little smile, a knowing look in her eyes. “Better yet fetch her yourself.”
Dougal was taken aback by her remark.
“There was a way ye were looking at her yesterday night, it was the way Ail…” She stopped herself and shook her head sadly. “Maybe ye can have it, if ye stopped being pig-headed. Good bye brother.” With another small sad smile, she was gone.
Dougal turned back to their father. His face was slack in repose, he almost looked peaceful in his sleep.
“I hope ye can truly hear us father, then he'll know your daughter is headed for the wolves and I hope your blessing follows her, and your sons are lost without your guidance. I wished I had your strength, strength to deal with your wife as I am certain she would drive me to the end of my patience in the upcoming days. We need ye father.” He waited a while for some sort of response or sign that he had heard him but nothing happened and even though he had expected it, he felt the sting of disappointment.
Then he turned away and left the chambers and after having one of the men stationed inside the chamber in case the chief needed help, he left for the garden. Knowing Seonag, she must have sent her to pick roses and it was towards the rose hedges he headed and a yard away he was forced to come to a halt.
Lili was there, a bunch of roses in her hands that told Dougal she had been hard at work at the task Seonag had handed to her. But what was stopping him was the unwanted presence of Nigel McLagan. The pest in his life and he was holding a single flower as he did that day in the ceremony and was presenting it to Lili. There was an intimacy between them that he did not like, one that drove him into rage and bloodlust every time he saw them together. It tried his patience and restraint even more than Caitir's aggressive verbal jabs.
They were talking, too far away for him to hear their words but he could tell their conversation was about personal things on a level of friendship or even more, lovers. He doubted that. Not after the way she had melted against him when he kissed her, the way she had relaxed against him when he had held her in his arms, and her titular blushes whenever he looked at her or she glanced at him. Lili was the kind that wore her feelings on her sleeves, it could be seen when she was happy, sad and angry. Right now, there was nothing on her face save open but plain friendliness, there was no blush colouring her face and her body wasn't tilted towards him. That she had no interest in Nigel McLagan mollified him a bit but the lad's continual pursuance of her irked him. He had no good intention towards her, he could feel it. Or was that his jealousy marring the way he viewed the McLagan.
A greater man would have turned away at the sight of them and left them in peace but Dougal Domhnall had never confessed to being a great man. So he continued straight on to Lili, his face blank but his anger was building to a roaring inferno when he saw her take the flower Nigel had offered into her bunch of roses. He wanted to rush over instead of the leisurely steps he was taking, snatch the flower from her hand and throw it to the floor then grinding it beneath his heel.
Lili saw him first, turning as though she had sensed him and she gave a little jump before the tell-tale colour crept to her cheeks. Dougal allowed a little smirk at that before coming to a stop, planting himself in between them.
“McLagan,” he said by the way of greeting.
Nigel McLagan looked a bit puzzled but he returned the greeting and took his leave.
“Goodbye fair maid, I hope our paths cross again.” He gave a little bow, and it irritated Dougal to hear Lili's little giggle. Nigel nodded to him, turned on his heel and left the both of them. Dougal waited until he was lost to sight before whirling on Lili.
“Is lady Seonag done with her goodbyes to the chief then? I roamed about to give her ample time to do so.”
“Aye she's done, but I wonder if your roaming includes fraternising with the McLagan in such a secluded place.”
Lili looked sincerely puzzled that he would accuse her. “There was no fraternising, Nigel and I were just…”
“Nigel it is now, I see,” Dougal commented dryly.
Lili flushed darkly, from his insinuation and her burgeoning irritation.
“Did he insist that ye call him Nigel?”
Lili gave no response, looking away from him instead and towards the heavens in such a way that it appeared she was begging God for strength to deal with him. For some reason that made his anger flare and he reached for her, his arm snaking about her and yanking her hard towards him.
“Answer me!” He demanded fiercely, making her flinch the roses dropping from her grip and he saw a glimmer of fright in her eyes. Feeling ashamed, he gentled his voice. “Have ye forgotten what he tried to do to ye? He is not to be trusted.”
“He was drunk that night,” she told him.
How naive she was. Dougal chuckled darkly. “So innocent, let me tell ye wee Lili even when dead drunk a man is always aware of his actions. So that night, he knew what he was about to do, so he is not the gentleman ye think him to be.”
Lili glared at him fiercely. “He is more of a gentleman that ye are!” She declared.
Dougal was amused by her passionate declaration.
“Is that so? Has your gentleman ever kissed ye?”
“That is none of your concern master Dougal,” she answered primly.
“But it is. I bet he hasn't kissed ye as fiercely as I have, enough to make ye swoon. Weel, if he has then I'll have to rectify that.”
“What are ye…” She began but the rest of the words died in her throat as his warm mouth devoured hers in a hot and hungry kiss that blotted out the world. His other hand had gone up to her hair, clutching tightly on the locks but not enough to hurt.
She melted against him instantly, her arms encircling his shoulders and she kissed him back with equal passion and hunger. With a gentle tug of his teeth on her lower lip, she opened her mouth for him
and he deepened the kiss, stealing her breath away from her. His tongue snaked into the warm crevice of her mouth, stroking inside before engaging in a dance with hers before retreating again. She gave a soft moan of gentle pleasure that drove him out of his mind but he restrained himself before he took her on the grass. Not yet, not now, it was too soon.
With one last soft kiss, he broke the kiss and looked into her stunned face with a satisfied smirk. With a gentle gasp, she came to herself and stumbled away from him.
“Lili,” he began moving after her but she wasn't waiting to hear another word as she fled.
Chapter 14
For the first time in four decades, the huge bell atop the Ràild tower rung for all to hear. It started on the pleasant evening the chief of Domhnall passed away, announcing to the castle and the townspeople of the death of their beloved chief. It continued tolling through the night, sounding like a mournful ghost and continued on in the morning as mourners poured from the town and the countryside to pay their respects to the dearly departed one.
It was still tolling a week later, heralding the people into the gates, to the chapel where the somber chaplain held a mournful service. It had been while Father Colum was saying a prayer for the chief’s soul that Dougal looked about, at the grim faces of the sorrowful help and saw that Lili was missing.
At that point, Lili was in the bell chamber with wee Laird. Having concluded its work, the bell had once again retired until however long it took for death to claim the new laird, Dougal. Lili fought a shudder at that as she looked at the rolling vista spread out before her. Oddly she didn't seem to enjoy the sight. It appeared coated in a film of grey, darkening the vibrant hues and spoiling the beauty for her. It felt like her life has been coated with grey as well. A number of changes occurring almost simultaneously, changes she hadn't prayed for and wasn't sure she wanted. First, the chief had died and that had been a dirk's thrust on its own, losing a man she cared for as a father. Not that he had ever seen her as a pseudo-daughter, his relationship with her had been like that of a kind master to a servant but he had been the one to take her in when she was injured and helpless. His physician had taken care of her until she was well enough to stand on her feet and he had given her work and shelter. It had been a truly terrible loss, his death. He hadn't even been cold yet when Ailbeart delivered the sharp twist of the dirk: he would be leaving the castle to seek apprenticeship with a blacksmith in Edinburgh. Lili had felt the ground parting from beneath her feet as she felt like she was losing another that mattered to her even though he wasn't lost yet. It had been on the tip of her tongue to convince him to stay but that would be selfish. Ailbeart hadn't been himself never since Lady Seonag had wed and gone off to McLagan's land. He missed her so much that he was pining away, hardly eating or sleeping or working, just staring away into the distance. Lili understood he wanted to take himself away from a place full of her memories so he might forget about her, or at least pacify the restless feelings that had never and would never come to fruition. Lili vaguely wondered if she would have the courage to up and leave the place that had been her home for two years, the only home she knew and could remember. No answer presented itself to her.
Healing the Highlander's Heart Page 9