by Piper Stone
Shannon clucked her jaw as she considered how to answer. “David and I aren’t unlike any other husband and wife.”
“I understand. Jim and I have issues too. We just argue all the time. I just wanted you to know if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
“It’s not what you think.” No, it was much worse.
“Uh-huh. Just remember, men need to be in control, completely. It doesn’t matter who they are or what they do. They have to be in charge. For women who truly understand this aspect, they can succeed in both their relationships as well as business. For those who fight men’s primal instincts, they’re going to fail. Period.”
“Said like a woman who knows.”
“Second marriage. And yes. I very much know,” Wendy said quietly.
Shannon had overheard some of the rather caustic conversations Wendy had with her significant other. She’d debated, on more than one occasion, talking to her about the benefits of domestic discipline, but with the difficulties of the last two weeks, the increased arguments, she was beginning to lose faith. “Wise words, but we’re fine. Just going through a few difficulties. I’ll be in after the meeting tomorrow. Now, I really have to go.” She hurried out the door without looking back. Now, she knew she was going to be late.
As she walked out to her car, Shannon managed to drop her keys twice and all she could think about was the decisions they’d made together. One, to enter into this lifestyle, something they continued to learn about and two, to never lie to each other. And she’d been failing miserably. She thought about what Wendy had told her and for some reason, was having such difficulty giving up her willful ways. She and David had joked about the concept, but she knew she was struggling. And it was evidenced by several things occurring in her life. Completely preoccupied, she nearly tumbled against the side of her car.
Bam!
“Fuck! Goddamn it, mother fucker!” The keys thudded hard against the hood of the vehicle, bouncing off and skidding across the pavement.
“Such bodacious words for such a beautiful woman.”
The voice was deep and husky, yet filled with a lilt of amusement. Jerking around, she slapped her hand across her mouth and squinted as the sun hit his face, but the body was certainly to die for. “I’m sorry. It’s been one of those weeks.”
“I completely understand. We all have them.” He moved closer, a smile crossing his face.
He walked into the shadows, but dark shades hid his eyes. Still, the man was drop dead gorgeous. And… Holy fuck. He was the epitome of her fantasy man, the one she’d been having dreams about for months. This wasn’t good. Every part of her body was tingling. Shannon didn’t believe in coincidences. This was the devil trying her patience. It took everything she had to put words together in any fashion that didn’t sound like a woman in heat. “Sorry you had to hear that display. I’m usually a bit more reserved.” When his grin grew impish, she laughed. “Okay, maybe not so much, but I like to think I’m reserved and lady like.” Taking the keys, the instant their fingers touched, electricity shot up her arm, her mouth becoming dry. “Long day. Lost effort.”
Tilting his head, he inhaled then nodded. “A lady, yes. Very much a lovely lady. I hope your night gets better. I seem to have lost a day somehow, so I do understand long days. It’s times like this we all need some serious and very heated recreation.”
Dear God. Was he flirting with her? Her skin clammy, Shannon heard the little voice in the back of her mind, the one screaming to shut this down. But damn it, she hadn’t been flirted with in what seemed to be for so long. “Yes. There is something about allowing a moment of sheer bliss to rejuvenate one’s soul.”
“My thoughts exactly.” His look lingered. His lips pursed.
She was sweating, not just perspiring. Beads of wetness were rolling down her neck from her hairline and into her blouse. After darting a quick glance down to his crotch, chastising herself and lifting her gaze, she realized quietly the mystery man was homed in on her bosom.
He remained quiet, then exhaled slowly. “There are times when certain chance happenings add to the flavor of life. Don’t you think?”
The words were barely audible, but the meaning was very clear. And there was no doubt he was blatantly flirting with her. Shannon opened her mouth to say something that would tell him, in no uncertain terms, she was off limits, but nothing but a single strangled cry came out.
Nodding, he moved his hand closer to her. “To chance meetings.”
Shannon couldn’t help but notice how his finger seemed to linger for just that second too long, the tip brushing back and forth across her wrist. The attention was invigorating and for a few seconds, she could envision a very sinful tryst shared during one very heated afternoon. Swallowing hard, she knew the look he was giving her. He was thinking the very same thing. Very casually, she eased her hand back, gripping the keys tightly. She watched as he backed away, the smile never leaving his face, and realized she’d just moved her sins to another entire level, one she was going to burn in hell for.
Fanning her face, she was finally able to get into the car without falling to the pavement – this time from an ungodly desire. This was ridiculous. She pushed the man aside and concentrated on starting the engine. Thoughts about something carnal, very primal, continued to filter into her mind. Subtle but very powerful images flashed across her field of vision. My God, was she actually contemplating an affair? Now she laughed. She could fantasize, but Shannon wasn’t into infidelity, no matter what David did or if he was snacking on a fucking bimbo. There it was, the realization of why she was acting out so much. What now? What the hell now?
All during the drive, she remained antsy, her foot tapping on the carpet wildly. Flipping on the satellite radio, Shannon changed channels several times, growing angry with the selection of songs. The minute she pulled into their neighborhood, she stole a look at her watch and slapped her hand on the steering wheel. It was already five forty-five. David was going to be furious. And what in God’s name could she say? I’m late, honey, because a stud muffin was flirting with me and get this, I liked it. Oh, that would bode well for a seriously bruised ass.
She’d gone straight from zero to sixty plus into bad girl land. As she shifted the gear into park and lowered her head, her thoughts drifted to the mystery man. Domestic discipline wasn’t going to be able to save her marriage after all.
David shook his head as he pulled up his arm, glaring at his watch. She was already fifteen minutes late. The disrespect was creeping over the self-imposed charts and his patience level was off the charts. He rubbed his eyes as he unbuttoned his shirtsleeves, rolling the fabric up his forearms and walking away from the window. There was no sense hovering like an expectant father. Shannon had a mind of her own. She definitely did. Even in the two weeks after the incredible night of wild passion everything had seemed to derail to the point he was working late hours and not by necessity every night.
“What the hell are you doing?” The term ‘dumbass’ came to mind. After going to a bar the night before with his partner, and one of the few people close to him that knew about his entrance into domestic discipline, he’d made some decisions. The sexy blonde had been an almost snack and the realization he’d slipped his hand inside her blouse, cupping and squeezing her breast, had been a wake-up call. While he’d had at least three drinks at that point, he couldn’t use being inebriated as an excuse. The decision had been easy. Come home and talk with his wife. Then he’d found the damn folded piece of paper next to the bed, and for some reason, the notion she’d been keeping a reckless driving ticket from him was far too reprehensible. The phone call had been worse. She was flat out lying to him. Why?
Because you aren’t there for her. The ugly little voice in the back of his mind was right. He hadn’t been. Damning truth or not, he sucked at being Head of Household. He’d read blogs and articles, even talked with his partner, Bruce, for hours on end. There wasn’t anything he seemed to be doing right. Even Shannon was havin
g nightmares almost every night and she refused to talk about them. She had refused to talk about much of anything, as of late, except her damn cases. He was just as bad. They were growing apart and he loathed the concept, hated himself for not taking more control.
As he walked into the kitchen, he thought about their rather difficult decision to enter into a DD lifestyle. The first two and a half months had been terrifying and amazing. Then some things had started to fall back into the cracks. Little telling’s of lies and both snapping at each other had led to almost arguments. Every time, Shannon had pulled back, but the moment of raw anger, memories and flashes of the same ugliness shared resurfaced. Yes, he knew without a doubt, he was mostly to blame. All the documentation he’d read about being a good Head of Household had told him he wasn’t giving the appropriate amount of time for learning, studying and being patient in his teachings with her.
And for God’s sake, he’d almost been unfaithful? What in the hell was wrong with him? He was grateful for Bruce’s nasty glare and words of admonishment later. He was a lowlife. Shannon was pushing though and he was failing at being in control of anything. Some Head of Household he made.
Hissing and cursing under his breath, he grabbed a rocks glass from the cabinet, filling it with ice cubes and grabbing the bottle of Johnny Walker out of the cabinet. One drink wasn’t going to alter his mood or allow him to feel additional heightened levels of anger. Taking a sip, David closed his eyes as the subtle burn slid down his throat. With the new buildings and the new clients, he was tapped out with time. The saddest truth of it all was that he needed to spend more time at the office, not less.
To help both of them understand the changes, grow into the new relationship and truly begin to meld together as a couple would take a hell of a lot more time than he had. What the hell was he supposed to do? He knew what he should do, but he honestly didn’t have the ability to change things, at least not for a little while. Maybe after three weeks or so they could go away together for the vacation they talked about often, one they hadn’t had in over two, no, three years. Snorting, he took a gulp of his drink and walked toward the back window.
Old feelings were creeping in, ones he hated himself for, but he was struggling with Shannon’s emotional rollercoaster to the point he wasn’t entirely certain he was the right man. They were going to have to have several frank discussions. Feelings of remorse and guilt remained and he longed to start their journey all over again. David contemplated how to handle disciplining her tonight. She needed a firm hand, a strong round of punishment. What she lied about this time actually surprised the hell out of him.
Shannon was an accomplished woman, a professional who usually prided herself in playing the straight and narrow. A reckless driving ticket for an attorney would not bode well for the partners in her firm. They were rather strict and very conservative and for her to make partner had been a tremendous nod. She had been tenacious in going after what she wanted. That’s one aspect of her personality he’d fallen in love with. Her balls to the wall, don’t ask if you don’t want to hear, personality had driven him wild with desire for months. He laughed and rubbed his mouth before taking another sip. “What a handful you are.”
Setting his drink down on the counter, he tried to figure out the contract they’d both signed before starting down this road. He scanned the perimeter of the kitchen, eyeing the small corner desk. Now he remembered. They’d both had shaky hands when signing their names on the last line. Signing a contract regarding rules in their relationship had been unsettling, as well as freeing.
David took long strides, yanking the first drawer open and riffling through. Finding nothing, he almost tossed the drawer and growled. The second drawer had the papers right on top. As he studied them, looking down and reading the first lines, he remembered the very day they’d sat down and talked about them and the words he’d told her.
“I want you to take today and think about this because once you sign these papers, this contract, there’s no going back. Do you understand?”
Shannon had looked at him with big eyes and he had clearly been able to see such an incredible dichotomy of emotions. That very moment had been the one he’d wanted to gather her into his arms, cradling her tightly.
“Yes sir. I understand,” Shannon breathed, her voice barely audible.
David pulled out the single sheet of paper and smiled. Even her signature seemed shaky. He read the rules twice, the very ones she was supposed to obey, then flipped to the other side. His commitment to her was even more substantial, giving her the guidance and nurturing she needed, no matter what challenges she presented him with. Failure. The word was right there on the tip of his tongue.
“I remember that day so well. I don’t think I slept for two days around the talk, maybe more.”
Hearing the shakiness in her voice, the remorse nearly broke his heart. “I didn’t either. I kept asking myself what in the hell I was doing.” For some reason, he couldn’t look at her.
A slight whimper slipped from her lips and she seemed to be hesitating.
“I still don’t know what I’m doing. I have no fucking clue.” The thought sending shivers down his spine, he turned to face her and the look on her face was haunted, the color drained. “Not even remotely. I thought this was right for us. Maybe I prayed it was.”
Shannon took a couple of steps closer, dropping her briefcase and purse on the counter. “Don’t say that. Please, for God’s sake, don’t say that.”
“You lie to me. You stopped telling me things. You act like what we’re trying to do here with… with this…” Groaning, he wadded the papers in his hand, his anger increasing.
“Not this!”
“Yeah. This. If you were following our agreement, you wouldn’t be raising your voice now, would you?”
Her mouth twisting, she inhaled and wiggled her nose before looking away and grabbing the edge of the counter.
David could see how tight her grip was. A full minute of silence passed. “I don’t think this is the time to talk about this.”
“It’s never the time,” Shannon snapped. “Never! That’s part of the problem, David. You never take time to talk to me. You work all the fucking time. That’s what drives me insane. We started something that you couldn’t finish. Just like usual.”
“How dare you!” His voice booming, David took a stride toward her, then instantly pulled back. His rage was enough he wanted to hit her, not spank her, but hit her. Oh my God, this couldn’t happen. He’d never wanted to beat her at all. Had he?
“Same old David. Tell me this, are you seeing Jade again?”
The challenge was laced with venom. “Jade?” Blinking furiously, he hadn’t thought about the woman in a solid two months.
“You heard me. Late nights and I can smell perfume all over you.”
“No. No! I’m not having an affair. That’s not what’s wrong with us,” David snapped, but the accusation hit too close to home.
“So you say,” Shannon shook her head. “You’re lying.”
“You mean like you lied to me?”
“Bastard.”
His heart racing, he moved around the counter, counting to five, then counting again. He lowered his voice and did everything in his power to keep the inflections even. “You can’t and won’t talk to me this way. You’re my wife and you’re my submissive.”
“I’m not your submissive.” The edge in her voice instantly abated. “I… I don’t know what I am, David. I just don’t freaking know any longer. I wanted this to work out. Do you know how many nights I cried before we started this, accepted the practice? Do you?”
He nodded over and over again. “I heard you. I knew how upset you were. Don’t you think I was?”
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t… know and I…” Her voice trailing off, she lowered her head. “You’re seeing her.”
“No, I’m not.” Thoughts about the blonde filtered into his mind. “I promise you that.”
Shannon loo
ked at him, her eyes haunted. “I wouldn’t blame you. I honestly wouldn’t.”
David swallowed hard and placed both hands on the counter, staring down at a drink he very much wanted to consume and pour another one or more. He was losing control of every aspect of his life. He didn’t want another woman, but he wasn’t certain Shannon wanted to be his wife any longer. And he wasn’t certain he wanted their union and definitely not like this. “If you don’t know I wouldn’t stray, then that’s part of our problem. You lie to me and you’re distant. You obviously don’t want to obey or respect the rules we both set in place. So, you want to know the truth?” Lifting his head, he waited until she looked into his eyes.
“What? What?”
Sniffing, he allowed a single glance down to the contract. “I think you’re right. I don’t think this is going to work at all.” Very slowly, he reached down and gingerly brushed the tips of his fingers over her signature. “Not at all.” As he took the papers into his hand, his eyes misting over, he realized this was the most difficult thing he’d ever done in his life. He closed his eyes and hearing the ripping sound, followed by her gasp, sent a shard of anguish straight into his heart.
“No!”
David gathered what he had left of his strength and walked toward the door. He needed time to think and regroup. Things were getting out of hand. “I’m going to stay at Bruce’s tonight. Then I’ll figure out how we’re going to settle this.”
“This?” She barely managed.
David hesitated, his heart hurting. My God, he was hurting so badly.
“Our marriage.”
Chapter 3
Shannon stopped breathing the moment David walked out the door. She also couldn’t feel anything but a terrible chill racing down her spine. Tears slipped from her eyes and she pressed the back of her hand over her mouth, doing everything she could to hold back the moans bubbling past her lips. Why had she accused him of sleeping with Jade? His reaction seemed mixed. Was he? Why wouldn’t he? Christ, she was pathetic. “God!”